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  1. #991
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alhibby View Post
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    Still trying to work it out.....

    Sent from my SM-G988B using Tapatalk
    That was before they broke up, obvs...
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!




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  3. #992
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Whilst driving through Wales with my pal, we stopped off at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch for lunch. I asked the waitress, "Could you settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly?

    "The waitress replied, "Burr gerr King!"

  4. #993
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

  5. #994
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
    I guess you'll tell me later?

  6. #995
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
    Don't answer his questions on a football forum?

  7. #996
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
    Put them in suspense and keep them there.

    Simple.
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!



  8. #997
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Guy walked into a pub with a steering wheel hanging from his belt and ordered a pint. The barman said “do you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your belt”
    The guy replied “yes it’s driving me nuts”

  9. #998
    Man goes to doctor and says “I’ve got a bit of a embarrassing problem
    When I go for a s..t it comes out like chips
    Doc drop your kegs and bend over before grabbing a big pair of sisores
    The man it’s terrified and hears snip snip
    Right that’s you cured
    Great doc what did you do
    Doc replied I cut 6 inches of your string vest

  10. #999
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    Guy walked into a pub with a steering wheel hanging from his belt and ordered a pint. The barman said “do you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your belt”
    The guy replied “yes it’s driving me nuts”
    Another guy goes to the doctor wearing nothing but clingfilm around his nethers. The doctor says "I can clearly see your nuts"

  11. #1000
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AltheHibby View Post
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    Another guy goes to the doctor wearing nothing but clingfilm around his nethers. The doctor says "I can clearly see your nuts"
    Both 'jokes' are the low hanging fruits of humour 😉
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.

  12. #1001
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killiehibbie View Post
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    I guess you'll tell me later?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Don't answer his questions on a football forum?


    You see, it works!



  13. #1002
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moulin Yarns View Post
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    Both 'jokes' are the low hanging fruits of humour 😉
    Only if you have short legs. Or you're me.

  14. #1003
    Guy goes to a fancy dress party totally naked
    Apart from a bit of sandpaper wrapped around his c..k
    Host asked what have you come as
    Naked guy answered Dick Emery

  15. #1004
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    The man that invented the Ferris wheel never met the man that invented the roundabout.

    They moved in different circles.

  16. #1005
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Whilst driving through Wales with my pal, we stopped off at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch for lunch. I asked the waitress, "Could you settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly?

    "The waitress replied, "Burr gerr King!"

    Your joke has been nicked by Tam Cowan and was in yesterday's Daily Record




    'Meanwhile, a village with the longest name – Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob – can now get the fastest broadband: a gigabit a second.

    Tell you what’s even more impressive – my old Kirkcaldy correspondent Wee Jimmy visited the legendary Welsh village a few years ago and, while eating his lunch one day, he asked a member of staff: “How exactly do you pronounce this place?”


    And the lassie said: “BURGER KING…” '


    https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/opinio...-just-25426945

  17. #1006
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith_M View Post
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    Your joke has been nicked by Tam Cowan and was in yesterday's Daily Record




    'Meanwhile, a village with the longest name – Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob – can now get the fastest broadband: a gigabit a second.

    Tell you what’s even more impressive – my old Kirkcaldy correspondent Wee Jimmy visited the legendary Welsh village a few years ago and, while eating his lunch one day, he asked a member of staff: “How exactly do you pronounce this place?”


    And the lassie said: “BURGER KING…” '


    https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/opinio...-just-25426945
    I got it from a Welsh mate who can pronounce the stations name, it does get rather moist when he does it though.

  18. #1007
    First Team Regular weedgiehibbie's Avatar
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    Tis better to have loved a short person than never to have loved a tall.

  19. #1008
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    My budgie escaped from its cage and mated with my dog.
    I've got a couple of puppies going cheep if anyone's interested

  20. #1009
    @hibs.net private member Alfiembra's Avatar
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    Ever noticed how the some of the greatest Formula1 drivers their surnames are the the same as Scottish towns?

    Stirling Moss
    Lewis Hamilton
    Eddie Irvine
    Ayr Toon Centre.

  21. #1010
    Ultimate Slaver Keith_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfiembra View Post
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    Ever noticed how the some of the greatest Formula1 drivers their surnames are the the same as Scottish towns?

    Stirling Moss
    Lewis Hamilton
    Eddie Irvine
    Ayr Toon Centre.

    Yeah, the guy that posted it the first time


  22. #1011
    First Team Regular weedgiehibbie's Avatar
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    Novak Djokovic is the first player to be knocked out of a Grand Slam tournament after missing only 2 shots

  23. #1012
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    I've been conducting a scientific study about the effects of alcohol on how people walk, the results are staggering.

  24. #1013
    @hibs.net private member
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    Paddy says to his Wife, my bum hole is on fire, what do you think is wrong, his Wife says, ring sting, Paddy replies, **** off, how the hell would he know !!

  25. #1014
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    I have a new girl friend. She works at a factory making wheelie bins.

    Not sure what day to take her out.

  26. #1015
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Stallone: I'm making a new film about composers, I'll be playing Beethoven.

    Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.

    Schwarzenegger: Nope, not saying it.

    Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk

  27. #1016
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    I think my tennis coach fancies me, I’m crap at tennis but she keeps calling me love.

  28. #1017
    @hibs.net private member Speedy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Stallone: I'm making a new film about composers, I'll be playing Beethoven.

    Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.

    Schwarzenegger: Nope, not saying it.

    Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk

  29. #1018
    @hibs.net private member Moulin Yarns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Stallone: I'm making a new film about composers, I'll be playing Beethoven.

    Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.

    Schwarzenegger: Nope, not saying it.

    Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    I'll be Rimsky-Korsakov.
    There is no such thing as too much yarn, just not enough time.

  30. #1019
    @hibs.net private member Radium's Avatar
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    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  31. #1020
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Two scientists walk into a bar, the first asks for a glass of H2o, the second says he'd like a glass of H2o too. The second scientist dies.

    Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk

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