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  1. #721
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Just named my new race horse “My face”


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  3. #722
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    Just named my new race horse “My face”
    That's more like it. Got to think around at least one corner to get it.

  4. #723
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    That's more like it. Got to think around at least one corner to get it.
    😁👍

  5. #724
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    As I was coming out of the pub tonight I fell over a guy on the pavement. It’s only September FFS.

  6. #725
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    Just named my new race horse “My face”
    Oh come on...!
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!



  7. #726
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Went to the sperm bank today to make a donation, they actually charged me £50 for the privilege! I told a mate about it, he said it was ridiculous and they must have seen me coming.

  8. #727
    @hibs.net private member RyeSloan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibee View Post
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    Just named my new race horse “My face”
    https://www.skysports.com/racing/for...69/my-face-usa

    Strange but true!

  9. #728
    Quote Originally Posted by RyeSloan View Post
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    Never came first

  10. #729
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killiehibbie View Post
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    Never came first
    It came second twice, which is very considerate, but I'd like to hear about the circumstances which led to it coming fourth!
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!



  11. #730
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    It came second twice, which is very considerate, but I'd like to hear about the circumstances which led to it coming fourth!
    That was in a dick measuring contest, it lost by a length.

  12. #731
    @hibs.net private member Future17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    It came second twice, which is very considerate, but I'd like to hear about the circumstances which led to it coming fourth!
    That's how God told it it should multiply.

  13. #732
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    What do Las Vegas and Sunderland have in common? You can pay for sex using chips.

  14. #733
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    Went to buy some camouflage clothes the other day, couldn't find any in the shops.

  15. #734
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    I phoned up a hotel and the receptionist said hello,best western. I said Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood ..........

  16. #735
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Two men walked into a shop, one suffered a broken nose, the other a bruised knee.

  17. #736
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    Have you ever tried archery blindfolded?

    You don't know what you're missing!

  18. #737
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    My grief counsellor just died.

    He was so good at his job I didn't even care.

  19. #738
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    I pulled my knickers out of my arse.

    The mother of the kid who's birthday it was said " I was the sickest kids entertainer she's ever seen "
    Last edited by J-C; 03-10-2020 at 06:53 PM.

  20. #739
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    A wheel-chair bound chap decided to visit the healing waters of Lourdes. It was very crowded but he spotted a gap and went for it at such a pace that he ended up in the pool, wheel-chair and all. When they fished him out he was quite disappointed to find that he was still unable to walk, but found consolation in the fact that his wheel chair had a brand new set of tires.

  21. #740
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    Frankensteins wife: you never help with the cooking.

    Frankenstein: I did the mash.

    Frankensteins wife: don't you ****ing dare Frank!

  22. #741
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    Just found out that my grief counsellor just died.

    He was so good at his job I didn't even care.

  23. #742
    @hibs.net private member Future17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mixu62 View Post
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    Just found out that my grief counsellor just died.

    He was so good at his job I didn't even care.
    That's two of your grief counsellors who have died in the space of a week. Are you bumping them off?

  24. #743
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Future17 View Post
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    That's two of your grief counsellors who have died in the space of a week. Are you bumping them off?
    They're dropping like flies! Kept failing to post on my phone. Didn't realise it had!

  25. #744
    Testimonial Due
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    We've just bought a horse called Kingsmill.
    He's purebread

  26. #745
    Testimonial Due CmoantheHibs's Avatar
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    There’s a new bird just signed for Hibs ladies and she is the latest member of the McGinn clan to join. Welcome Tar.

  27. #746
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Decided on poached eggs for breakfast this morning. Wish I hadn’t bothered, the gamekeeper shot at me.

  28. #747
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Was cladding a wall with cork tiles so ordered a box of 200 cork screws, it looks bloody stupid to be honest.

  29. #748
    @hibs.net private member Northernhibee's Avatar
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    The government have suggested that we might need to stockpile German sausages and cheese, but that’s just the wurst kase scenario.


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

  30. #749
    Two boys in school play. 300 parents attend the show and the boys are v nervous.
    First boy to walk on stage and say to lead girl “ I’ve come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope”


    Second boy then to appear on stage and exclaim

    “ Hark i hear a pistol shot”


    First boy walks on and sees the large crowd of parents: he then says:

    “I’ve come to kiss your snatch and fill your hole with soap”

    The second boy is now bricking it and exclaims “ hark I hear a shistol pot, I mean a postal sht......



    oh bollocks I never wanted to be in this stupid play!

  31. #750
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    I put a deposit on a new bed yesterday, they threw me out of the store.

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