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Results 691 to 720 of 1283
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22-06-2020 10:27 PM #691
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01-07-2020 08:29 PM #692
Breaking : there was an accident on the M8 this morning involving a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A police spokesperson said to the press this morning
"There's no easy way to say this"...
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04-07-2020 10:06 AM #693
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
- Location
- Montrose
- Posts
- 21
There is a TV channel in Japan dedicated to Origami. It’s Pay Per View
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07-07-2020 07:22 PM #694
A friend of mine just failed an exam on Aboriginal musical instruments. A said to him “did you redo it?”
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07-07-2020 07:35 PM #695This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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07-07-2020 07:36 PM #696This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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18-08-2020 12:31 PM #697
Ok, I'm writing this from the emergency room, but don't worry the doctors say I will make a full recovery. However I feel it's my duty to warn everyone that the "Dyson Ball Cleaner" has a very misleading name.
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20-08-2020 09:05 PM #699
I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.
Roll on Monday......
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20-08-2020 10:15 PM #700
Done a job in Cornwall today, the money was great so I decided to take a week in lieu.
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20-08-2020 10:59 PM #701
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Posts
- 554
My mate got sacked from his job at the fairground.
He’s suing them for funfair dismissal.
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25-08-2020 01:48 PM #702
The world patronising championships results have just been released in condescending order.
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25-08-2020 04:47 PM #703
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Posts
- 8,332
Exciting session at the autopsy club yesterday evening.
It was open Mike night.
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25-08-2020 07:47 PM #704
Before going on a camping trip I checked my insurance, apparently if my tent blows away I won’t be covered.
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25-08-2020 08:35 PM #705
I had a pizza with just green peppers on it, nothing else, it was a pepperonly pizza
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04-09-2020 07:33 AM #706
The new drug for depressed lesbians?
Triacockagin 😁The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game
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04-09-2020 07:39 AM #707
What does Jeff Bezos do before bed?
He puts his pajamazon.PERSEVERE
Verb: pə:ːsɪ'ˈvɪə/
To not give up.
To go the distance.
To stop at nothing.
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04-09-2020 08:25 AM #708This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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04-09-2020 08:40 AM #709This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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04-09-2020 09:12 AM #710This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show QuoteThe difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game
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04-09-2020 09:13 AM #711This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show QuoteThe difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game
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06-09-2020 01:30 PM #713
I have a pet dogfish who is 12 years old today, I've had him since he was a guppy!
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06-09-2020 08:17 PM #714
My mate had unprotected phone sex, now he’s got hearing aids.
Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction
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07-09-2020 01:45 PM #715
I was once a postman but I quit after an hour.
I looked at my first letter to deliver and thought "This isn't for me".
Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction
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15-09-2020 01:23 PM #716
2 thai ladies offered to sleep with a guy...."it will be like winning the lottery" they said...
...and they were right - he had 6 balls in a row😇The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game
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15-09-2020 02:37 PM #717
Just sent a nude photo of myself to everyone in my address book.
Not only is it embarrassing but it’s cost me a fortune in stamps.
Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction
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18-09-2020 02:18 PM #718
I tried to join the local cricket club but I couldn't get any sound rubbing my legs together!
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19-09-2020 09:06 AM #719
I see a guy in London has taught his dog to play the trumpet just by taking him in the underground. He's gone from Barking to Tooting!
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19-09-2020 11:46 AM #720
Did you hear the one about the conspiracy theorist who was mugged whilst out walking and blamed himself.
Last edited by Scouse Hibee; 19-09-2020 at 04:26 PM.
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