Glasgow Jokes

[panshibby]

Q. If you see a Weegie on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
> hit him?
> A: It's probably your bicycle
>
> Q: What do you call a Weegie in a suit?
> A: The accused.
>
> Q: Why does the River Clyde run through Glasgow?
> A: Because if it walked it would be mugged.
>
> Q: What do you call a Weegie in a three-bed semi?
> A: A burglar.
>
> Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow?
> A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
>
> Q: What do you say to a Weegie on a bike?
> A: Stop thief!
>
> Q: What do you say to a Weegie in a uniform?
> A: Big Mac and fries please.
>
> Q: What's the first question at a Glasgow pub quiz night ?
> A: What are you looking at?
>
> Q: What do you call a Weegie in a White Shellsuit ?
> A: The Bride
>
> At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Glaswegian - 6ft 5in tall
> and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and
> obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers,
> the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the
> big Weegie. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow
> job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Weegie leaps up with fire in
> his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
> he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
> him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if
> nothing had happened.* Amazed the bartender quickly brings over
> another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just
> what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the Weegie replies. "Something
> about a job."
>
>

[H18SScottW]

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Q: What's the first question at a Glasgow pub quiz night ?
A: What are you looking at?

Second question:
Complete the four word title of Take That's first album, "Take That ..."

Weegie's answer: "Ya ******"