Funny football names

**~~sunshine1875~~** · 21-01-2010 04:18 PM

How about this for a team? From today's Scotsman

Steve Death

Mr Death put the fear of God into forwards during his 471 appearances in goal for Reading from 1969 to 1982.

Death's divine form in 1979 saw him play 1,103 minutes without conceding a goal.

Danny ****tu

The one time Rangers target currently plays for Bolton Wanderers and was born in Lagos, Nigeria.

The 29-year-old started out with Charlton before being bought by a QPR fan in 2002 who paid his wages during his first of four seasons at the club.

****tu was signed for newly promoted Watford in 2006 and after a successful spell with the Hornets was snapped up by Bolton in 2008.

Rafael Scheidt

Partnering ****tu in our central defence is the rather less successful Scheidt, whose surname still sends a shiver down the necks of Celtic supporters.

A £5 million pound signing under the ill-fated Barnes/ Dalglish era the Brazilian's form was similar to his surname.

Scheidt, living proof that all Brazilians aren't good at football, made three appearances for the Hoops before being shipped out by Martin O'Neil in 2000.

Rod Fanni

You would be a tad red-faced as a manager saying to your chairman that you were keen on this chap.

The 28-year-old defender currently plays for Rennes and was once eyed by Sam Alardyce when he was manager at Newcastle.

David Busst

A commanding figure in the Coventry defence, Busst played 50 times for Coventry from 1992 to 1996.

His career was sadly ended as a result of an injury during Coventry's Premiership match against Manchester United in 1996.

Emmanuel Panther

Our chosen right winger, who shares the same first name as a famous blue movie, couldn't have had it easy growing up in Glasgow.

The son of Nigerian boxer Cyril Panther has been somewhat of a journeyman during his career having played for St. Johnstone, Partick Thistle, Brechin City, York City, Exeter City and Rushden & Diamonds.

Panther was last spotted at League Two side Morecambe.

Brian Pinas

On our left flank is one of the most ridiculed players ever to have played in English football.

The Sun ran an editorial when he signed for Newcastle in 1998 entitled 'Pity soccer star Brian Pinas. The first time a referee takes his name he'll get sent off for using foul language'.

He made one first team appearance before being sold back to Feyenoord a year later.

Wayne Wanklyn

The midfielder that dare not speak his name makes it into our squad list on account of having played in the same Reading side as keeper Steve Death in 1978.

Since retiring as a player, Wanklyn went on the manage such giants of the football world as Fleet Town and Bracknell Town.

Ars Bandeet

Played for Algeria in 1970s as a midfielder. That's all we're saying.

Ralf Minge

The first half of our strike pairing scored 103 goals during his spell with Dynamo Dresden from 1980 to 1991, picking up 36 caps for East Germany.

After his playing career ended, Minge became coach with Dresden before his big career break as number two to Klaus Toppmuller during Bayer Leverkusen's successful era at the start of this century.

Mario Turdo

Minge is assisted up front by our man Turdo.

When you're a striker who's not banging them in the last thing you want is a surname's like the Argentinian's.

Turdo's scored only 20 goals in 157 appearances at a litany of clubs including Celta Viga and Rennes.

He now plies his trade back in Argentina with San Martin de Tucuman.

http://sport.scotsman.com/sport/The-...mes.6002533.jp

***Hibbie_Cameron*** · 21-01-2010 04:22 PM

Allardyce signed plenty other Fanni's for Newcastle so they never missed out

**jgl07** · 21-01-2010 05:31 PM

Justin Edinburgh always amused me.

He could have a Brazilian style name of Portobello.

Then there were the Celtic duo of Olivier Terrible and Rafael Sheight.

**Broken Gnome** · 21-01-2010 05:44 PM

Stefan Kuntz.

Noticed one in the paper the other day too, Aberdeen is home to probably the only amateur footballer who doesn't want to make it as a pro as he'd have to have 'TWATT' on the back of his shirt.

**Bunter** · 21-01-2010 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by jgl07

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Justin Edinburgh always amused me.

He could have a Brazilian style name of Portobello.

Then there were the Celtic duo of Olivier Terrible and Rafael Sheight.

That reminds me that Celtc were allegedly after an Everton CH at the time.
They were going to play three at the back.....

WEIR----TEBILY----SCHEIDT

It could've happened, you know!!!

**Lofarl** · 21-01-2010 08:01 PM

I laugh when I hear David Goodwillies name

**~~sunshine1875~~** · 21-01-2010 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by Easterroadbunny

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I laugh when I hear David Goodwillies name

I know it is not football, but I always laugh when I hear the cricket commentator during an England - West Indies match describing the bowler about to bowl to the batsman by saying the classic "The batsmans Holding, the bowlers Willey".

**Oscar Lomax** · 21-01-2010 08:33 PM

I like Czech defender Milan ***al and good old David Seamen!
My fave is Danger Fourpence ! Class, oh and Paul Dikov too...

***Tricla*** · 21-01-2010 08:35 PM

Ars Bandeet and Ralf Minge!

**ballengeich** · 21-01-2010 09:03 PM

Efe Sodje - rumoured to have been sent off by the first referee who asked his name.

More innocent - Wolfgang Wolff was manager of Wolfsburg.

***Bayern Bru*** · 22-01-2010 12:48 AM

Ars Bandeet MUST be made up!?

Few more for you:

Chiqui Arce - Paraguayan RIGHT BACK.

Bongo Christ

Johnny Moustache

Creedence Clearwater Couto

**~~Captain Trips~~** · 22-01-2010 01:51 AM

Helmut Schon, raises a giggle.

***degenerated*** · 22-01-2010 06:43 AM

Quim, the Portuguese keeper. I always found that mildly humourous

**aberhibsfc** · 22-01-2010 08:56 AM

Willie Column..... sounds like a dick!

**aberhibsfc** · 22-01-2010 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by degenerated

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Quim, the Portuguese keeper. I always found that mildly humourous

My all time favourite football name.

**Woody70x2** · 22-01-2010 11:48 AM

Andre Arshavin

Nwankwo Kanu

**MWHIBBIES** · 22-01-2010 11:51 AM

Geoff Horsefield

**Woody70x2** · 22-01-2010 11:54 AM

25 Funny Football Player Names:

Stefan Kuntz
Chiqui Arce
Bongo Christ
Have-a-Look Dube
Ars Bandeet
Segar *******
Rafael Scheidt
Rod Fanni
Johnny Moustache
David Goodwillie
Danny ****tu
Johan de Cock
Milan ***al
Quim
Brian Pinas
Bernt Haas
Uwe Fuchs
Two-Boys Gladstone Gamede
Wolfgang Wolf
Creedence Clearwater Couto
Norman Conquest
Danger Fourpence
Paul Dickov
Argelico ****s
Harry Daft