Do you think this fan rates his team?

[Rory89]

This is a post made on a Grimsby town messageboard, which is becoming quite famous after the hilarious rant of a Grimsby fan has started circulating around different messageboards in Britain and beyond. The Grimsby fan said:

Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

"I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible. In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my onebedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w'king furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p'flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely f all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush – you won't need it. In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the
flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to. Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate *******s; leave this club now and don't you f'ing dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all f off – don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again. I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner"

http://thefishy.co.uk/cgi-bin/forum/...257631840/s-0/

Now I'm sure we've all read some good rants across the road from our less fortunate neighbour's, but none have been as good as this one.

[hibsbollah]

But they're not even bottom of the league,they're one place above Darlington...he should count his blessings

[MacBean]

This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote

This is a post made on a Grimsby town messageboard, which is becoming quite famous after the hilarious rant of a Grimsby fan has started circulating around different messageboards in Britain and beyond. The Grimsby fan said:

Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

"I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible. In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my onebedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w'king furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p'flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely f all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush – you won't need it. In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the
flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to. Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate *******s; leave this club now and don't you f'ing dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all f off – don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again. I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner"

http://thefishy.co.uk/cgi-bin/forum/...257631840/s-0/

Now I'm sure we've all read some good rants across the road from our less fortunate neighbour's, but none have been as good as this one.

contradicts himself a bit there at the end eh

[Woody1985]

[Bad Martini]

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This is a post made on a Grimsby town messageboard, which is becoming quite famous after the hilarious rant of a Grimsby fan has started circulating around different messageboards in Britain and beyond. The Grimsby fan said:

Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

"I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible. In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my onebedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w'king furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p'flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely f all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush – you won't need it. In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the
flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to. Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate *******s; leave this club now and don't you f'ing dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all f off – don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again. I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner"

http://thefishy.co.uk/cgi-bin/forum/...257631840/s-0/

Now I'm sure we've all read some good rants across the road from our less fortunate neighbour's, but none have been as good as this one.

I rather liked...

"...you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible"

...but are we sure he's not actually referring to George Burley's skills in management, particularly around the national team selection? OR maybe he's talking about Nade's ability to finish? He might also be referring to the huns exploits in Europe?

Fantastic rant though

[TornadoHibby]

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contradicts himself a bit there at the end eh

Pedant alert!

A masterpiece of ironic English literature!

[Nando™]

"strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something."

[jgl07]

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But they're not even bottom of the league,they're one place above Darlington...he should count his blessings

Some people are never happy!

[jabis]

Blackpoolhibs supports Grimsby aswell

[Horse]

This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote

This is a post made on a Grimsby town messageboard, which is becoming quite famous after the hilarious rant of a Grimsby fan has started circulating around different messageboards in Britain and beyond. The Grimsby fan said:

Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

"I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible. In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my onebedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w'king furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p'flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely f all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush – you won't need it. In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the
flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to. Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate *******s; leave this club now and don't you f'ing dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all f off – don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again. I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner"

http://thefishy.co.uk/cgi-bin/forum/...257631840/s-0/

Now I'm sure we've all read some good rants across the road from our less fortunate neighbour's, but none have been as good as this one.

That is indeed a rant of the highest order - even he great Grumpy Gibby would struggle to produce a letter of such gargantuan discontent!

[MB62]

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That is indeed a rant of the highest order - even he great Grumpy Gibby would struggle to produce a letter of such gargantuan discontent!

Now there's a challenge. I might just this to him next time I see him (I believe he has not returned yet from the Korean war, so it might take a while )

[Keith_M]

It's over to you Blackpoolhibs, will you take the challenge from this Johnny-Come-Lately of Moaners?








Actually, BH has me worried. He's been awfully cheery lately! Is it really the case that BH is now a HappyClapper?

[hibbie02]

I am sure all Jamboids can sympathise with the bit about the kidney stones.

[Craig_in_Prague]

There must be cinema's in Grimsby

In fact, when did Fat Boab take charge of them

Sounds like BW with Mixu as his right hand man are in charge there.

Quality rant though

[MacBean]

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Pedant alert!

A masterpiece of ironic English literature!

[Horse]

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Now there's a challenge. I might just this to him next time I see him (I believe he has not returned yet from the Korean war, so it might take a while )

Aye, the last I heard he'd been taken prisoner whilst fighting the Korean war in the Falklands! Damn, I really miss Grumpy Gibby and his enlightening rants!

[Speedway]

A Blundell Park attending mate of mine tells me that this letter doesn't even begin to sum up how bad the Mariners are at the moment.

[Phil D. Rolls]

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I am sure all Jamboids can sympathise with the bit about the kidney stones.

They'll certainly agree with the idea of sending an open letter. Do they have any Russian Hat shops in Grimsby?

[chorley_fm]

In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w'king furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.


I will use this sentence in the future !!