***Los Yambolinos vs Killie***

[Dashing Bob S]

22:51 SCRAN! Early strike from Christian Nade, slipping his marker in the queue at the Rapido in Broughton Street. "We were in the queue and I just turned for a split second to ask my bird if she wanted a pickled onion on her single fish, and that was all it took for this big black guy to steal in and clean out everything..."

22:55 SCRAN! Number 2 for Chris Nade who stole up the street and into the Piccante devouring a deep fried Mars Bar supper with the Kilmarnock defence in utter disarray.

[matty_f]

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22:51 SCRAN! Early strike from Christian Nade, slipping his marker in the queue at the Rapido in Broughton Street. "We were in the queue and I just turned for a split second to ask my bird if she wanted a pickled onion on her single fish, and that was all it took for this big black guy to steal in and clean out everything..."

22:55 SCRAN! Number 2 for Chris Nade who stole up the street and into the Piccante devouring a deep fried Mars Bar supper with the Kilmarnock defence in utter disarray.

23:10 SCRAN! Nade's at it again as he tries to figure out if Derren Brown has made him go back to Rapido's for a Pizza Crunch supper.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

23:17 DELIVERED! Susan presents a white pudding supper to Christian Nade on a silver platter with compliments from the chef.

[Chuckie]

23:20 Munched!!

Nade on top of his game.

Ducks and pheasants are *****ting themselves.

[matty_f]

23:40 SCRAP!! Zaliukas and Stewart come to blows arguing about who's next to get sent off.

[iwasthere1972]

23:42 Nade shown yellow card which he promptly devours. Yum

[Hibercelona]

23:51: Nade's running past the subways with terrific pace...oh, thats excellent skill... running in and out of the local chip shops!................................... McDonalds!..... fantastic play by Christian Nade! He never looked like giving up. He had his eyes set on goal... and nothing was getting in his way! Superb stuff!

[matty_f]

00:05 EMERGENCY SCRAN! It's past midnight so most chippies are shutting up shop. Nade nips out for one of the few options left - kebabs! On his way home, Nade scours the area for all night garages for later on.

[HibbyAndy]

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00:05 EMERGENCY SCRAN! It's past midnight so most chippies are shutting up shop. Nade nips out for one of the few options left - kebabs! On his way home, Nade scours the area for all night garages for later on.

[iwasthere1972]

24.26 Derren Brown is spotted in the main stand busy writing down 6 numbers. Yams nearby are all on their feet trying to sneak a peak at the numbers hoping for a big lottery win. They are soon brought down to earth when Derren shouts to Nade "Christian the Lotus Garden haven't got a 23 will a 36 be okay"

[_hucks_]

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23:20 Munched!!

Nade on top of his game.

Ducks and pheasants are *****ting themselves.

Best pun i've heard in ages

[Hibercelona]

*BBC Update*

The BBC would like to send out its sincerest apologies to its loyal viewers on the Hearts v Kilmarnock update.

There seemed to have been a technical fault with our messaging service. Nade was infact *****e and Hearts got gubbed 6-0 by Kilmarnock. We hope this new update did not upset any of our loyal viewers.

Yours Faithfully

BBC Sportsound

[Dashing Bob S]

Christian Nade reported ill this morning and is doubtful for today's game. The club doctor said; "Christian has sadly fallen rather short of the 400,000 calories per day he needs to sustain his bustling frame. We have him on an intensive round-the-clock diet of breakfast rolls but it's not looking good."

[bobbyhibs1983]

13 00 hrs, pies arrive for the game, a massive 30000 pies for the game

1303 hrs 26270 pies sent to heartz dressingroom where 26250 have been ate by a certain nade

1306hrs
new world record set by nade for amount of pies ate in a minute

1307 another new world record set again by nade, beats old record by 340 pies

[The_Todd]

SCRAN! 05:00 Hours: After walking the length of Broughton Street and Rodney Street for munchies options, Nade ramraids the Esso station at Canonmills.

Someone should have told him it was open 24 hours, and that'll be a caution for the big forward.

[Mibbes Aye]

20:14 SCRAN! Having just watched Celebrity Masterchef on iPlayer Nade has eaten his laptop. He is surprised to discover it tastes of plastic and metal rather than sea bream on a bed of spiced lentils. Never mind, big man.

[Sergey]

20:30 SCRAN!

Nade just finishes his elevenses and is ready for a late lunch of leftover pies and hot-dogs from the catering wagons strategically placed around the PBS.

Lucky for him. No access to the training facilities in the morning. The Uni's Greco Roman Wrestling folks have priority.

[Ozyhibby]

All joking aside, Nade was at dominoes pizza in Corstorphine tonight at 6.30pm. I can't provide any more info on what he ordered i'm afraid. Nice motor though.

[One Day Soon]

20:52 SCRAN!

The truth emerges of an elaborate and far reaching conspiracy concoted to protect Scottish football's reputation from the horrible truth about the cancellation of today's game. There was no lorry ablaze on the M8. There was no Killie team bus stranded on the M8. All players from both sides were at the ground before 12.30 today. So was the referee.

At approximately 12.48 this afternoon, the referee was consumed alive in a feeding frenzy for which no formal explanation has yet been given. A Hearts player however was subsequently discovered trying to force a linesman between two slices of bread, with the other one already garnished with mustard, stuffed into a giant baguette and stored in the groundsman's broom cupboard 'for later'. The fourth official was apparently found some time later dementedly trying to shower himself clean of chutney and mayo.

[Mibbes Aye]

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All joking aside, Nade was at dominoes pizza in Corstorphine tonight at 6.30pm. I can't provide any more info on what he ordered i'm afraid. Nice motor though.

The server isn't strong enough to handle that amount of information in a one-er.

[Woody1985]

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20:52 SCRAN!

The truth emerges of an elaborate and far reaching conspiracy concoted to protect Scottish football's reputation from the horrible truth about the cancellation of today's game. There was no lorry ablaze on the M8. There was no Killie team bus stranded on the M8. All players from both sides were at the ground before 12.30 today. So was the referee.

At approximately 12.48 this afternoon, the referee was consumed alive in a feeding frenzy for which no formal explanation has yet been given. A Hearts player however was subsequently discovered trying to force a linesman between two slices of bread, with the other one already garnished with mustard, stuffed into a giant baguette and stored in the groundsman's broom cupboard 'for later'. The fourth official was apparently found some time later dementedly trying to shower himself clean of chutney and mayo.

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The server isn't strong enough to handle that amount of information in a one-er.

It was this he ordered.

http://www.canpages.ca/blog/wp-conte...gest-pizza.jpg

[Dashing Bob S]

BLOCK a brilliant interception of the entire advancing Killie side on the M8 by Christian Nade, described like an oil tanker turning and falling, rescued the Tynecastle men from almost certain defeat at the hands of a rampant Kilmarnock today.

"When Christian saw that Harthill services M and S stocked scotch eggs, there was only going to be one winner."

[Mibbes Aye]

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It was this he ordered.

http://www.canpages.ca/blog/wp-conte...gest-pizza.jpg

On a buttered roll.