Save Hearts In Trouble…preferred bidder for Yams of Midlothian Football Club in Admin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dashing Bob S
I doubt it was ever intended to be, or for Hearts themselves. There's a reason why a warrant has been issued for his arrest and that he's on the run from the authorities. I think the ongoing criminal investigations on where the money came from that was put through Hearts to pay for those salaries, are potentially far more damaging for the club than anything we have seen so far. It's daft to speculate, but here's what I think will happen...
…Portly round faced man in bright stripy blazer enters room…
Mr MP: Hi, I’m Mr MP, Chairman of Save Hearts In Trouble...We are very pleased to have been confirmed as preferred bidders for YOM FC. I’m here to see the books…
Mr BJ [rising from large desk held together with duck tape and supported by bricks): Good to meet you…was that S.H.I.T. you said? I’m with BOD the YOM FC administrators and I’m looking forward to doing business with S.H.I.T..
…the two men shake hands warmly.
Mr BJ: We’ve prepared a diligence room with all the supporting documentation which I’ll take you to shortly…
…Mr BJ rises from his desk. He opens a door into a cupboard and brings out two one piece white overall suits and two protective masks…
Mr BJ: You’ll need to put on this protective clothing I’m afraid, the diligence room is caked in flaking asbestos. You’re wheezing enough as it is and I’m not sure our liability insurance covers you…Ha!Ha!Ha!
…Mr MP struggles to fit his huge torso into the white suit and the mask barely covers the small nose on his massive round head. The two men exit the BOD office and head down a dark, unlit, corridor…
Mr BJ [opening another door, freshly painted]: here it is. The diligence room. I’ll leave you to it because my wife doesn’t like me being in here for long.
Mr MP: Ok, no worries. Surely it can’t be that bad?...
…Mr MP looks around and all he can see is a huge pile of what looks like hamster bedding filling the room…
Mr MP: HOLD ON! Where’s the books?
Mr BJ [pointing at the huge pile of shredded paper]: That’s them there…Mr Ramius the previous owner told us, as he jumped into a taxi, that this was standard practice at the beginning of Administration in his mother Russia.
Mr MP: But what can we do with that?
Mr BJ: Well we got the under 20 team to try and stick the bits together with sellotape for a few days but frankly that caused more problems than it solved, even though every one of them is worth at least £10m…they’re not the brightest. Don’t you know anyone who can help?
Mr MP: Only Lord Pishybreeks but we can’t afford his expenses.
…to be continued