Originally Posted by
Victor Park
Worse than that though are the fudwits who, as soon as they get to the carousel, stand as close as possible to it with their shins pressing against the side of the carousel so they don't miss their bag. This is usually about 60% of people getting off the plane, just enough to block off the whole carousel.
Usually they will stand there like plums doing hee haww for 15 minutes until the bags actually appear, at which point they somehow manage to huddle even closer. This means, that for the 40% who have stood back like everyone else should have, when your bag eventually makes its way round you have to battle your way through a rigid human wall of panicky, impatient, unaware of whats happening behind them dunderheids. :grr:
So when your bag does arrive, the best antidote to this ridiculous situation is to advance from your retreated position at great pace whilst screeching “Excuse Me, Excuse Me!” in a pitch as high as your voice will allow for, before briskly ploughing through anyone in your way and in one fluid movement lifting your case and swinging it forcefully backround yourself at head height in the hope of decapitating, or at the very least knocking unconscious one of these thoughtless dimwits.
If you are good, you can make the case land on its wheels and have the handle up and out in the one movement and elegantly glide off into the distance like Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory, leaving a shocked sea of bodies behind you to have a good think about things.