Depression and anxiety

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

All joking aside about current circumstances, I'd say that a stroll around the Easter Road pitch on a non-match day would be a very effective therapeutic environment for any of us on this thread. It's a place where we all feel comfortable and one where we love to be. I could see good things coming from that. Kudos to the facilitators and to those who participate.

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Walk and talks were introduced in the first place s week programme and no one thought they’d take off as well as they did. Now, weather and health permitting, it’s almost essential.

We didn’t have one last night. Instead we had a discussion on Hibs and the Scottish national team. No guessing how that went! We also had a chat about mental health and a quiz as well.

Some great biscuits such as custard creams and Gold bars. And we also had a bit of a laugh too, there’s times I haven’t laughed as much as I have when going along to the Changing Room.

Who would have thought mental health could be so funny?

Better to laugh then to cry, I often see the funny side to my condition. Good to see some familiar posters here again, Hi Stu, hope you are ok pal.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

It's by far the best thread there's ever been on here.

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One hundred per cent!

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Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

One hundred per cent!

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It certainly is. I Haven’t contributed for a while due to being on a particularly low point for a good few months. It’s weird how I can try and ignore how I’m feeling by trying to pretend everything is alright, but it doesn’t really work in the long term. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of ending it all, but having spoken to other sufferers I realise that that’s completely normal. This thread is great and it makes me realise I’m not alone.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

It certainly is. I Haven’t contributed for a while due to being on a particularly low point for a good few months. It’s weird how I can try and ignore how I’m feeling by trying to pretend everything is alright, but it doesn’t really work in the long term. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of ending it all, but having spoken to other sufferers I realise that that’s completely normal. This thread is great and it makes me realise I’m not alone.

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Please hang in there, mate. As I've said in this thread, it's anxiety and not depression which has always been my issue, and I think that's more bearable, as it doesn't involve the despair of depression. Clinical depression must be torture and takes a strong person to bear it. As for your point on denial, it's a coping mechanism which helps survival, and it's only when we are strong enough to drop the denial that we can face the reality of our situation and take it on. Nobody wants to face their demons, as they make us feel inadequate; but, like you say, we all feel alone, when, in fact, that simply isn't so, which must be a manifestation of attitudes in society and staying silent when we shouldn't. If we could all discuss the problem openly, we would remove the stigma and thus find a solution much easier.

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Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

Please hang in there, mate. As I've said in this thread, it's anxiety and not depression which has always been my issue, and I think that's more bearable, as it doesn't involve the despair of depression. Clinical depression must be torture and takes a strong person to bear it. As for your point on denial, it's a coping mechanism which helps survival, and it's only when we are strong enough to drop the denial that we can face the reality of our situation and take it on. Nobody wants to face their demons, as they make us feel inadequate; but, like you say, we all feel alone, when, in fact, that simply isn't so, which must be a manifestation of attitudes in society and staying silent when we shouldn't. If we could all discuss the problem openly, we would remove the stigma and thus find a solution much easier.

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Thanks for your support mate it’s really appreciated. Things have been really hard recently. I’m self employed so no matter how I’m feeling I still need to work, at times I struggle to get out of bed, but I’ve not got a choice and that makes things harder. I’m struggling to pay the bills at times and it’s hard for my partner to understand why. Sometimes I go out to work and just park the taxi up because I can’t face doing it. Sometimes I just go home and pretend I got a good job that covered my days earnings. All the time the dark thoughts increase and the feeling of isolation gets stronger. I’m 100% going to go to the hibs thing at the stadium next week.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your support mate it’s really appreciated. Things have been really hard recently. I’m self employed so no matter how I’m feeling I still need to work, at times I struggle to get out of bed, but I’ve not got a choice and that makes things harder. I’m struggling to pay the bills at times and it’s hard for my partner to understand why. Sometimes I go out to work and just park the taxi up because I can’t face doing it. Sometimes I just go home and pretend I got a good job that covered my days earnings. All the time the dark thoughts increase and the feeling of isolation gets stronger. I’m 100% going to go to the hibs thing at the stadium next week.

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You can only do your best and accept that it's enough. We are each just one person amongst billions alive today and tens of billions who went before us. I find that looking outward and accepting that each of us is but a tiny and temporary someone helps me gain perspective and thus peace of mind. I read the work of the writers whom I feel expressed this best. It works for me, but might not for others. We must all find our way to peace of mind, which is so much easier said than done. There is no magic formula which works for everyone: it's two steps forward and one step back, which is a shame, given how short a time we are here, but that's the reality. We have to keep searching and searching to find our own path to a sense of tranquility.

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Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

You can only do your best and accept that it's enough. We are each just one person amongst billions alive today and tens of billions who went before us. I find that looking outward and accepting that each of us is but a tiny and temporary someone helps me gain perspective and thus peace of mind. I read the work of the writers whom I feel expressed this best. It works for me, but might not for others. We must all find our way to peace of mind, which is so much easier said than done. There is no magic formula which works for everyone: it's two steps forward and one step back, which is a shame, given how short a time we are here, but that's the reality. We have to keep searching and searching to find our own path to a sense of tranquility.

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Good post mate, another in amongst hundreds. Looking through the many posts it is great to see so many alternate coping mechanisms, from CBT, medication or just sheer determination to get to the end of that dark and lonely path.

Hopefully whichever route folk on here have chosen to take, many have taken comfort from the great support offered by fellow hibs fans on this very thread, long may that continue, we are always here, reading and listening, your never alone.

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Originally Posted by MSK

Good post mate, another in amongst hundreds. Looking through the many posts it is great to see so many alternate coping mechanisms, from CBT, medication or just sheer determination to get to the end of that dark and lonely path.

Hopefully whichever route folk on here have chosen to take, many have taken comfort from the great support offered by fellow hibs fans on this very thread, long may that continue, we are always here, reading and listening, your never alone.

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:agree:

:top marks

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Originally Posted by LustForLeith

Walk and talks were introduced in the first place s week programme and no one thought they’d take off as well as they did. Now, weather and health permitting, it’s almost essential.

We didn’t have one last night. Instead we had a discussion on Hibs and the Scottish national team. No guessing how that went! We also had a chat about mental health and a quiz as well.

Some great biscuits such as custard creams and Gold bars. And we also had a bit of a laugh too, there’s times I haven’t laughed as much as I have when going along to the Changing Room.

Who would have thought mental health could be so funny?

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That's really interesting to hear. I think the activities you mention are things that a wide spread of people feel able to engage with. I am very much in favour of mental health support being accessible and easy to engage with in these ways. To relate it to people's normal lives can be vital rather than some stand-alone science in a language that people don't understand or relate to. Laughter is a universal language that we all love and understand. Anyone who was able to overhear the laughter sometimes coming out of my mine and my colleague's consultation rooms might not guess what was happening in there! Engagement - and the ways to make that happen are key I feel. Always, good things can happen when people start talking.

Fair play to the project. It's certainly something I'd offer my services to for fellow Hibbies, if living in the locality.

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Originally Posted by wpj

Better to laugh then to cry, I often see the funny side to my condition. Good to see some familiar posters here again, Hi Stu, hope you are ok pal.

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I'm good thanks mate and I hope you too? Anybody working in mental health and related areas will tell you that a little laughter is essential - even to the extent of a little graveyard humour!

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your support mate it’s really appreciated. Things have been really hard recently. I’m self employed so no matter how I’m feeling I still need to work, at times I struggle to get out of bed, but I’ve not got a choice and that makes things harder. I’m struggling to pay the bills at times and it’s hard for my partner to understand why. Sometimes I go out to work and just park the taxi up because I can’t face doing it. Sometimes I just go home and pretend I got a good job that covered my days earnings. All the time the dark thoughts increase and the feeling of isolation gets stronger. I’m 100% going to go to the hibs thing at the stadium next week.

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Hi LB, know that your feelings are understood on this thread. I'd like to say a couple of things to you if I may? That you indicate you feel unable to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner I am sorry about, though understand. In the work I do - treating addictions and their related problems I see many that live in a similar way - in something of a bubble. This is noticeable particularly in those with 'hidden' addictions such as problem gambling. The principle and symptoms are similar though, that bubble has a feeling of you not being in control, in your case of your feelings and moods, it is characterised by loss in your life - the loss of your vitality and resilience due to depression for example. This can also affect your self-esteem, the feelings of you not being able to cope, to go out, do your job and earn money for example. The natural (though unnecessary) guilt resulting from that which can be so damaging. And so, you internalise these thought and they become unhealthy and difficult to deal with.

And so, you decide you can only try to deal with these feelings on your own.

I would like to ask who are you that doesn't deserve support with these feelings? Doesn't every single one of us? A little personal I know, I'm sorry, but I would be interested to understand the thoughts of your partner and if she would like to share these feelings of your with you and understand how best to support you if you talked about them with her. I think there's a possibility she would be sad and upset to think of you trying to deal with them on your own. You don't need to my friend, you really don't.

Think of that bubble bursting and how much better it would be not having to deal with these feelings on your own. Talk anytime buddy.

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

That's really interesting to hear. I think the activities you mention are things that a wide spread of people feel able to engage with. I am very much in favour of mental health support being accessible and easy to engage with in these ways. To relate it to people's normal lives can be vital rather than some stand-alone science in a language that people don't understand or relate to. Laughter is a universal language that we all love and understand. Anyone who was able to overhear the laughter sometimes coming out of my mine and my colleague's consultation rooms might not guess what was happening in there! Engagement - and the ways to make that happen are key I feel. Always, good things can happen when people start talking.

Fair play to the project. It's certainly something I'd offer my services to for fellow Hibbies, if living in the locality.



I'm good thanks mate and I hope you too? Anybody working in mental health and related areas will tell you that a little laughter is essential - even to the extent of a little graveyard humour!



Hi LB, know that your feelings are understood on this thread. I'd like to say a couple of things to you if I may? That you indicate you feel unable to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner I am sorry about, though understand. In the work I do - treating addictions and their related problems I see many that live in a similar way - in something of a bubble. This is noticeable particularly in those with 'hidden' addictions such as problem gambling. The principle and symptoms are similar though, that bubble has a feeling of you not being in control, in your case of your feelings and moods, it is characterised by loss in your life - the loss of your vitality and resilience due to depression for example. This can also affect your self-esteem, the feelings of you not being able to cope, to go out, do your job and earn money for example. The natural (though unnecessary) guilt resulting from that which can be so damaging. And so, you internalise these thought and they become unhealthy and difficult to deal with.

And so, you decide you can only try to deal with these feelings on your own.

I would like to ask who are you that doesn't deserve support with these feelings? Doesn't every single one of us? A little personal I know, I'm sorry, but I would be interested to understand the thoughts of your partner and if she would like to share these feelings of your with you and understand how best to support you if you talked about them with her. I think there's a possibility she would be sad and upset to think of you trying to deal with them on your own. You don't need to my friend, you really don't.

Think of that bubble bursting and how much better it would be not having to deal with these feelings on your own. Talk anytime buddy.

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:applause:

Superb post, Stu.

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Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

That's really interesting to hear. I think the activities you mention are things that a wide spread of people feel able to engage with. I am very much in favour of mental health support being accessible and easy to engage with in these ways. To relate it to people's normal lives can be vital rather than some stand-alone science in a language that people don't understand or relate to. Laughter is a universal language that we all love and understand. Anyone who was able to overhear the laughter sometimes coming out of my mine and my colleague's consultation rooms might not guess what was happening in there! Engagement - and the ways to make that happen are key I feel. Always, good things can happen when people start talking.

Fair play to the project. It's certainly something I'd offer my services to for fellow Hibbies, if living in the locality.



I'm good thanks mate and I hope you too? Anybody working in mental health and related areas will tell you that a little laughter is essential - even to the extent of a little graveyard humour!



Hi LB, know that your feelings are understood on this thread. I'd like to say a couple of things to you if I may? That you indicate you feel unable to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner I am sorry about, though understand. In the work I do - treating addictions and their related problems I see many that live in a similar way - in something of a bubble. This is noticeable particularly in those with 'hidden' addictions such as problem gambling. The principle and symptoms are similar though, that bubble has a feeling of you not being in control, in your case of your feelings and moods, it is characterised by loss in your life - the loss of your vitality and resilience due to depression for example. This can also affect your self-esteem, the feelings of you not being able to cope, to go out, do your job and earn money for example. The natural (though unnecessary) guilt resulting from that which can be so damaging. And so, you internalise these thought and they become unhealthy and difficult to deal with.

And so, you decide you can only try to deal with these feelings on your own.

I would like to ask who are you that doesn't deserve support with these feelings? Doesn't every single one of us? A little personal I know, I'm sorry, but I would be interested to understand the thoughts of your partner and if she would like to share these feelings of your with you and understand how best to support you if you talked about them with her. I think there's a possibility she would be sad and upset to think of you trying to deal with them on your own. You don't need to my friend, you really don't.

Think of that bubble bursting and how much better it would be not having to deal with these feelings on your own. Talk anytime buddy.

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Thanks for your reply Stu I really appreciate it. My problems aren’t hidden from my partner, it’s just that she isn’t very understanding despite suffering from depression herself. It’s probably a problem that’s more deeply rooted in our relationship. If I’m being honest it’s the lack of light at the end of tunnel in both my condition and my home life that makes things seem so impossible at times. I have a daughter who without doubt is my reason for carrying on, I absolutely worship the ground she walks on. Just typing this makes me smile as I’m thinking about her. For that reason alone I will always keep trying.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your reply Stu I really appreciate it. My problems aren’t hidden from my partner, it’s just that she isn’t very understanding despite suffering from depression herself. It’s probably a problem that’s more deeply rooted in our relationship. If I’m being honest it’s the lack of light at the end of tunnel in both my condition and my home life that makes things seem so impossible at times. I have a daughter who without doubt is my reason for carrying on, I absolutely worship the ground she walks on. Just typing this makes me smile as I’m thinking about her. For that reason alone I will always keep trying.

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I'm divorced now, I have an up to date photo on my wall at work and home of my daughter. Last week she started school and that photo is a constant source of joy for me (and the sqiddilion I have on my phone)

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your reply Stu I really appreciate it. My problems aren’t hidden from my partner, it’s just that she isn’t very understanding despite suffering from depression herself. It’s probably a problem that’s more deeply rooted in our relationship. If I’m being honest it’s the lack of light at the end of tunnel in both my condition and my home life that makes things seem so impossible at times. I have a daughter who without doubt is my reason for carrying on, I absolutely worship the ground she walks on. Just typing this makes me smile as I’m thinking about her. For that reason alone I will always keep trying.

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Good to say hello mate.

Of course it's not appropriate for me to talk too deeply about your relationship on a public forum but nevertheless, a few general comments in response. It's fair to say that if a partner has their own similar problems then it's sometimes difficult for them to offer support. I would say the number one and two problems that I see with relationships are those of communication and trust. If those can be steadily worked on and re-established then things can improve generally. One factor you both more than likely have in common is that of your daughter. Perhaps there lies your 'bridge' and a conduit for speaking gentle and understanding words with each other.

Seeing 'no light at the end of the tunnel' is a subject worth understanding how to think about. You have my acknowledgement of how difficult or even impossible, that can feel at times. A good subject for general discussion among all our friends on this thread too then.

Some define it as a 'dark tunnel' other as a 'maze' to find their way through. From a philosophical viewpoint, bringing about 'light' might be thought of as attempting to deliver yourself into a better place - one where you feel happier and more content. Sometimes this can be discovered in finding meaning or purpose in your life in some way. So how do we do that? It can present a daunting job to many.

I would like to propose a certain 're-framing' of expectations about one's life. This doesn't amount to 'settling' (for less) in my view (for this can indeed be a 'happier' place). It does though entail learning how to comprehend and enjoy those simple things in our lives that we sometimes find ourselves overlooking.

I often think of this change process as a stepped approach. Psychology for example can be so effective in helping with this and yet effective psychological support can be a longer process which takes time to help and re-orient people's thought and behaviours. Rather, for me, a behavioural approach initially can be helpful - the 'first aid' if you like. Clearly, psychology is suited to treating deeper causes rather then just resultant effects/symptoms. However, it may take time, that's a given. By contrast, behaviours - from a behavioural approach can change overnight and quite possibly give you the lift needed to get you on the road. Maybe we should consider some of those behavioural factors for a situation just like this. Some of them will been overlooked because they feel 'difficult' for someone lacking motivation to help themselves into recovery. Nevertheless, they are worth examining.

We can focus on the fact that, yes, some days will just feel s**t. I think it's helpful to have an acceptance of that. What we can say though is that there will be times also when that hurtful feeling will pass and you will feel more well. Remember that too.

Social comparisons - try to avoid them, upwards or downwards. Downwards social comparisons (comparing yourself to others who are less fortunate in order to make you feel better about your life does not work. Indeed it can be counter-productive in the way it may make you experience guilt feelings about this. Making upward social comparisons towards people you see in a 'better' position than you can of course be sapping and soul destroying. I think the principle here is don't judge yourself by others. In fact don't judge yourself at all if you can begin to avoide doing that.

Look to those simple pleasures as much as you can and concentrate on those small things tha fleetingly make life feel beautiful. Holding your daughter, her laughter and smiles and you nurturing her to adulthood. On the note of children, I have a psychotherapist friend who has a picture of herself as a youngster, growing up in the country she came from. Her intention is to look after that little girl every single day as she sets off to to carry out life's sometimes tough and demanding business.

Further, we all know the little things than can help us. A splash of fresh air and daylight, being active, enjoying friends and family, taking a little exercise, loking after your sleep and eating good food. Getting into 'good habits' as a certain football manager from these parts who was 'the best in a group of one' would say.

I hope some of this makes a little sense to anyone reading and doesn't sound too fanciful. They are, for me, things that have taken a long time to understand better in some cases. this is not just through education and training but just as much through passing through a few things in my life too. One or two here might remember that I had a personal tragedy a few years ago, the quite violent suicide of a partner, one that took a lot of thinking, hard work and yes, sheer bloody perseverence to get through. There were certainly times when I couldn't 'see the light at the end of the tunnel' either and felt like I'd be better off not being here. I made mistakes because I'm human, tried and tried again and I probably feel more content these days than I have in many a year, even through my personal losses. A huge factor in arriving at that point was finding something I could do that brought great meaning and purpose to my own life but's another subject for another day.

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Originally Posted by lord bunberry

Thanks for your reply Stu I really appreciate it. My problems aren’t hidden from my partner, it’s just that she isn’t very understanding despite suffering from depression herself. It’s probably a problem that’s more deeply rooted in our relationship. If I’m being honest it’s the lack of light at the end of tunnel in both my condition and my home life that makes things seem so impossible at times. I have a daughter who without doubt is my reason for carrying on, I absolutely worship the ground she walks on. Just typing this makes me smile as I’m thinking about her. For that reason alone I will always keep trying.

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This post resonated with me more than probably any on this thread. For a few months now my depression has got progressively worse. Mostly down to a longstanding pain problem that ****s me up mentally and gets me very anxious about the future as a 30 year old young dad and similarly no light at the end of the tunnel.

Suicidal thoughts have been on my mind a fair bit during that period but the biggest contributing factor to me not following through with it is my almost 2 year old daughter. Almost everything she does can put a smile on my face if only even for a second. She means more to me than anything in the entire world.

Your post is actually quite scary how many similarities there are here and gave me the inspiration to share how I'm feeling myself.

I've got new antidepressants which I've been on for nearly a month now and although the suicidal thoughts have reduced, i have no energy, ever. I'm eating and piling on the weight and still can't see a scenario where mentally and physically I'm in a decent enough position. Frustrating

I've got a follow up appointment on Friday morning with my doctor so will see where that leads

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Originally Posted by GreenNWhiteArmy

This post resonated with me more than probably any on this thread. For a few months now my depression has got progressively worse. Mostly down to a longstanding pain problem that ****s me up mentally and gets me very anxious about the future as a 30 year old young dad and similarly no light at the end of the tunnel.

Suicidal thoughts have been on my mind a fair bit during that period but the biggest contributing factor to me not following through with it is my almost 2 year old daughter. Almost everything she does can put a smile on my face if only even for a second. She means more to me than anything in the entire world.

Your post is actually quite scary how many similarities there are here and gave me the inspiration to share how I'm feeling myself.

I've got new antidepressants which I've been on for nearly a month now and although the suicidal thoughts have reduced, i have no energy, ever. I'm eating and piling on the weight and still can't see a scenario where mentally and physically I'm in a decent enough position. Frustrating

I've got a follow up appointment on Friday morning with my doctor so will see where that leads

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keep clinging on to that positive thought my friend. Remember that there’s always someone here for you. Pm me if you need to talk further.

Interesting programme on Ch5 last night, Suicidal - In our own words, some of the sentiments expressed were a bit too close to home (regarding past times in my life) fortunately not so much now.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Interesting programme on Ch5 last night, Suicidal - In our own words, some of the sentiments expressed were a bit too close to home (regarding past times in my life) fortunately not so much now.

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Watched that last night, very thought provoking

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Interesting programme on Ch5 last night, Suicidal - In our own words, some of the sentiments expressed were a bit too close to home (regarding past times in my life) fortunately not so much now.

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I will take a look at that. Glad you are in a better place, mate.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Interesting programme on Ch5 last night, Suicidal - In our own words, some of the sentiments expressed were a bit too close to home (regarding past times in my life) fortunately not so much now.

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Anyone else apart from MSK watched it yet? My mind keeps darting back to it, it's a bit unnerving.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Anyone else apart from MSK watched it yet? My mind keeps darting back to it, it's a bit unnerving.

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I'm fine though, just a bit weirded out.

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Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY

Anyone else apart from MSK watched it yet? My mind keeps darting back to it, it's a bit unnerving.

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I've recorded it but I always find these programmes a bit unsettling as well. I'll watch it but I'll need to be in the right frame of mind when I do.

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Originally Posted by Pretty Boy

I've recorded it but I always find these programmes a bit unsettling as well. I'll watch it but I'll need to be in the right frame of mind when I do.

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I’m the same, I need to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. I don’t think I’ve been near that right frame of mind recently!

The next Changing Room drop in is on Monday. If anyone is interested feel free to come along to the West Stand at Easter Road did 6. Again it’s completely free, confidential and a safe environment. You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to but there’s a great bunch of folk and a really good selection of biscuit. The last time we had custard creams!

See you there!

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Originally Posted by LustForLeith

I’m the same, I need to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. I don’t think I’ve been near that right frame of mind recently!

The next Changing Room drop in is on Monday. If anyone is interested feel free to come along to the West Stand at Easter Road did 6. Again it’s completely free, confidential and a safe environment. You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to but there’s a great bunch of folk and a really good selection of biscuit. The last time we had custard creams!

See you there!

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A wee bump for tonight’s drop in

A very honest message. Lovely to see so many supportive messages for her
BBC News - Denise Welch praised for 'brave' depression videos
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49877727

We've released a special episode tonight, coinciding (conveniently, but not deliberately) with World Mental Health Day, to promote The Changing Room initiative at Hibs.

Brian and I were joined by Neil Renton, who was a brilliant guest.

Less Hibs chat in this episode but we hope you'll tune in to a great discussion on men's mental health.

iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcas...s/id1474463560

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/58o...S7erQbG8FIpspg

Web
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episod...ng-Room-e6fl52

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Originally Posted by matty_f

We've released a special episode tonight, coinciding (conveniently, but not deliberately) with World Mental Health Day, to promote The Changing Room initiative at Hibs.

Brian and I were joined by Neil Renton, who was a brilliant guest.

Less Hibs chat in this episode but we hope you'll tune in to a great discussion on men's mental health.

iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcas...s/id1474463560

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/58o...S7erQbG8FIpspg

Web
https://anchor.fm/longbangers/episod...ng-Room-e6fl52

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I really got a lot out of that, I found myself nodding away in recognition at some of the things you were describing.

The stigma at work thing. Fifteen years ago I went on the sick from work, initially like you I got the doctor to say it was something else, and then finally spoke to my boss and told them I'd been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was signed off for a while, tried a phased return, still wasn't feeling right so my contract was terminated and i was out of a job. The worst thing about it, and the thing that shows how things have improved in relation to society's understanding about mental health since then, is that even when I recovered and was fit and healthy again, I was unable to get jobs in the same specialised field I was working in, because of the stigma. I've been told by people since that my old bosses overlooked me for jobs I was well qualified for because I had a 'mental problem', instead of a temporary illness like any other. Some of these senior people I used to consider good friends, and I still find it hard to forgive their lack of understanding. But because of increased understanding these days I don't think that would happen anymore and I would be treated with a lot more respect today (and that's partly thanks to things like the Changing Room initiative I guess)

Thanks to all three of you, you did it really well:aok:

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

I really got a lot out of that, I found myself nodding away in recognition at some of the things you were describing.

The stigma at work thing. Fifteen years ago I went on the sick from work, initially like you I got the doctor to say it was something else, and then finally spoke to my boss and told them I'd been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was signed off for a while, tried a phased return, still wasn't feeling right so my contract was terminated and i was out of a job. The worst thing about it, and the thing that shows how things have improved in relation to society's understanding about mental health since then, is that even when I recovered and was fit and healthy again, I was unable to get jobs in the same specialised field I was working in, because of the stigma. I've been told by people since that my old bosses overlooked me for jobs I was well qualified for because I had a 'mental problem', instead of a temporary illness like any other. Some of these senior people I used to consider good friends, and I still find it hard to forgive their lack of understanding. But because of increased understanding these days I don't think that would happen anymore and I would be treated with a lot more respect today (and that's partly thanks to things like the Changing Room initiative I guess)

Thanks to all three of you, you did it really well:aok:

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Thanks - there will be a lot of people who will relate to your experience. I was lucky, my employer was first class with me when I came back, and have been since, to be fair.

Appreciate the feedback for the episode.

As a footnote, if anyone wants to join us on the podcast to discuss their experiences, they're more than welcome.

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Originally Posted by hibsbollah

I really got a lot out of that, I found myself nodding away in recognition at some of the things you were describing.

The stigma at work thing. Fifteen years ago I went on the sick from work, initially like you I got the doctor to say it was something else, and then finally spoke to my boss and told them I'd been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was signed off for a while, tried a phased return, still wasn't feeling right so my contract was terminated and i was out of a job. The worst thing about it, and the thing that shows how things have improved in relation to society's understanding about mental health since then, is that even when I recovered and was fit and healthy again, I was unable to get jobs in the same specialised field I was working in, because of the stigma. I've been told by people since that my old bosses overlooked me for jobs I was well qualified for because I had a 'mental problem', instead of a temporary illness like any other. Some of these senior people I used to consider good friends, and I still find it hard to forgive their lack of understanding. But because of increased understanding these days I don't think that would happen anymore and I would be treated with a lot more respect today (and that's partly thanks to things like the Changing Room initiative I guess)

Thanks to all three of you, you did it really well:aok:

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My line manager has been great with me and has attended mental health courses to understand it better (not just for me but in general). Some previous managers and current colleagues not so much. The highest cause of absenteeism at my workplace is anxiety depression and my employees pay great lip service to addressing it but some of the managers are quite openly dismissive. My employers? The NHS.

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Originally Posted by wpj

My line manager has been great with me and has attended mental health courses to understand it better (not just for me but in general). Some previous managers and current colleagues not so much. The highest cause of absenteeism at my workplace is anxiety depression and my employees pay great lip service to addressing it but some of the managers are quite openly dismissive. My employers? The NHS.

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Unsurprisingly it's the same for the other emergency services.

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