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See also: Pryamier Inn
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Primarking - often mistaken as an innovative defensive tactic - mainly dark arts and clogging - but in fact where the beautiful people with Hearts leanings go to shop.
Natural* Light - The ambient light coming from a TV set
Nouview - a new type of dining experience Similar to nouveau but in a restaurant with no views and a bedroom with no windows and no view.
Nouview is only available to rover driver’s, bowling club committee members, pishy stained trouser wearers or windae lickers.
The Shankland Tax - When Lawrence Shankland goes to a £20 per head all you can eat buffet, he has to pay £30. That extra tenner is the Shankland Tax
JamboVoid
- a vast expanse devoid of intelligent life forms. Distinguished by a population of maroon clad scarf twirlers. Until studies were concluded it was not thought possible for a population to exhibit such levels of density. Indeed many ideas for the classic cult film Idiocracy were taken directly from the anthropological studies based on this population between 1986 and 2005.
CritchGlitch. A temporary lapse in form, unexplained by any analytical devices, before natural order is resumed. "We might be total ***** right now, but I'm confident that this is just a CritchGlitch."
Spreading yam on it=same as spreading sheite around.
The Plaza - ie the slabs out the front
Jamboozle - the art of tricking, fooling or getting the better of the delusion support into beLIEving that everything they do is the bestest, bigliest and most innovative in the footballing world!
Christ-ley - watching opponents come back from the dead
Critchled - a journey to relegation.
Boxing Day: Receiving a knockout blow at Tynecastle on 26th December.
Jamboo: an expression of discontent at a Heart of Midlothian FC's performance.
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Critchmiss A grim Jambo festive holiday which all Jambos paradoxically want to miss but can't. "My Critchmiss started badly with the derby defeat on boxing day and carried on to the double deep-in-stoppage time concedes at Dingwall. Next year I plan to sit it out."
Fudlights Basically floodlights, but at Tynecastle. "Despite the recent defeat and exit from Europe at the hands of Moldovian postmen, you can't beat the big European games at Tynie under the fudlights."
Pre-tendance - actually say 20k are in the ground when everyone knows the only 20K stadium is in the green side of Edinburgh
Yam on everything. Pleasing.
Grinchley - Anne Budge and Neil Critchely love child
Gambo-Nae surrender, sink the boats type cardigan wearing hypertonic Gorgie loyalist.