Hearts the banter years 23/24 season

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Originally Posted by overdrive

To be fair, no windows is probably a selling point. Would you want to look out on either the off-centre Tinycastle 7-aside size pitch or that 1970s office block car park or piazza or whatever they call it? Probably stops the negative Tripadvisor reviews as well... "I woke one morning and opened the curtains, only to see a bloated man with a maroon face and yellow teeth, wearing a Hearts tracksuit with the letters 'GL' on it, expose himself pitch side and take a leak on the narrow gap between the bus shelter and the pitch. How horrifying"

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Brilliant, that's the first trip advisor review sorted. I expect to see more like this when up and running.

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Originally Posted by Rumble de Thump

The stairs to nowhere are symbolic of where that club is heading.

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The stairs to nowhere are to replicate the tiny team winning the league cup so they can have league cup winning drills on the stairs going up to collect their imaginary medals

Is there any Italian word for building with no windows?

That’s what they’ll call it.

Just like the fancy name for their monoblock driveway at the front

The naewindio boutique stadium hotel

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Originally Posted by Hibs4185

Is there any Italian word for building with no windows?

That’s what they’ll call it.

Just like the fancy name for their monoblock driveway at the front

The naewindio boutique stadium hotel

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Senzafenestra?

Kinda like the Gunner used to be, without the charm.

They could name each room after
‘famous ‘ players.

Golden Shower Suite - Aptly named after the one and only Gary Locke. This room has an industrial style rubber floor and squeegee just incase! [emoji102]

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Originally Posted by Aldo

They could name each room after
‘famous ‘ players.

Golden Shower Suite - Aptly named after the one and only Gary Locke. This room has an industrial style rubber floor and squeegee just incase! [emoji102]

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Room 86 with the Craig levein toilet. Decorated with greeting fans from dens park

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Senzafenestra?

Kinda like the Gunner used to be, without the charm.

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I was thinking more along the lines of The Trappola Antincendio. Pretty exotic sounding for those half heids.....

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Senzafenestra?

Kinda like the Gunner used to be, without the charm.

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Russian dissident niche market opportunity, right enough

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Originally Posted by Hibs4185

Room 86 with the Craig levein toilet. Decorated with greeting fans from dens park

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The Craig Latrine room, with the golden cludgie en-suite

The medals Mackay room, its a budget room, very bare

The booked for being ugly Fulton room, has magic mirrors, they may or may not improve your looks

The Tiny room, experience staying in this tiny wee room and feel just like your idols playing on a tiny wee pitch, even comes with smellyvision so you can experience the tiny tiny smells of the tiny dressing rooms

The Davie Bowman room, its utter ****

The Shankland room, very high ceilings, plenty headroom for those who have massive craniums

The George Foulkes pishy breeks room, its just a pishy room

The Hans Eskillson Suite which comes with soundproofing.

Honeymoon suite could be the Giles Rousset Suite - legs too far apart being the norm........

The Kenny Garland Suite. Room 07 of course.

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Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

The Craig Latrine room, with the golden cludgie en-suite

The medals Mackay room, its a budget room, very bare

The booked for being ugly Fulton room, has magic mirrors, they may or may not improve your looks

The Tiny room, experience staying in this tiny wee room and feel just like your idols playing on a tiny wee pitch, even comes with smellyvision so you can experience the tiny tiny smells of the tiny dressing rooms

The Davie Bowman room, its utter ****

The Shankland room, very high ceilings, plenty headroom for those who have massive craniums

The George Foulkes pishy breeks room, its just a pishy room

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Here now, all the rooms will be tiny. Firstly to mimic the pitch dimensions, and secondly so they can squeeze an extra room in like they’ve done with the miniature seats

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Originally Posted by McD

Here now, all the rooms will be tiny. Firstly to mimic the pitch dimensions, and secondly so they can squeeze an extra room in like they’ve done with the miniature seats

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Also add that rogue dining room seat they have in the dug outs, what the **** is that all about, junior teams have a more professional dug out set up 🤣🤣

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Senzafenestra?

Kinda like the Gunner used to be, without the charm.

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:faf::faf:

The Josef Fritzl suite doesn't sound that appealing to me. But then, I like a view.

Just started reading the 'Should Steven Naismith be Sacked' thread over on Boakback and a poster called Carter came out with this shortly after the full time whistle:

"Too many of the *****bags that were part of that arse hole prolapse last season are still here stinking out the craphole."

Now I'm no Sigmund Freud but I think our jambo friend Carter may have gone through a difficult anal-retentive phase as a child. :greengrin

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Originally Posted by Groathillgrump

Just started reading the 'Should Steven Naismith be Sacked' thread over on Boakback and a poster called Carter came out with this shortly after the full time whistle:

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Originally Posted by Groathillgrump

"Too many of the *****bags that were part of that arse hole prolapse last season are still here stinking out the craphole."

Now I'm no Sigmund Freud but I think our jambo friend Carter may have gone through a difficult anal-retentive phase as a child. :greengrin

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Maybe Craig Levein is his dad.

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Originally Posted by McD

Here now, all the rooms will be tiny. Firstly to mimic the pitch dimensions, and secondly so they can squeeze an extra room in like they’ve done with the miniature seats

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You might have a point, was initially going to be 22 Boutique rooms, now saying there will be 25 rooms
Let’s to be fair to Hearts, they had to do something with space they have in the Mega stand. You have to wonder what the initial plans were for this large space

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Originally Posted by Jakhog1

Brilliant, that's the first trip advisor review sorted. I expect to see more like this when up and running.

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Yes, I can see us having some fun with this. :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Billy Whizz

You might have a point, was initially going to be 22 Boutique rooms, now saying there will be 25 rooms
Let’s to be fair to Hearts, they had to do something with space they have in the Mega stand. You have to wonder what the initial plans were for this large space

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Trophy room. :confused:

I had forgotten about that fan who wanting us to win in 2016, changed his username. Still getting called out for it to this day.

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Originally Posted by McD

Here now, all the rooms will be tiny. Firstly to mimic the pitch dimensions, and secondly so they can squeeze an extra room in like they’ve done with the miniature seats

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Originally Posted by Billy Whizz

You might have a point, was initially going to be 22 Boutique rooms, now saying there will be 25 rooms
Let’s to be fair to Hearts, they had to do something with space they have in the Mega stand. You have to wonder what the initial plans were for this large space

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They have form... they'll probably stick a bed in the corner of the kitchens, they have put dining chairs out in the dug out after all :agree:

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Originally Posted by Just Alf

They have form... they'll probably stick a bed in the corner of the kitchens, they have put dining chairs out in the dug out after all :agree:

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Made me laugh😂

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Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

The Craig Latrine room, with the golden cludgie en-suite

The medals Mackay room, its a budget room, very bare

The booked for being ugly Fulton room, has magic mirrors, they may or may not improve your looks

The Tiny room, experience staying in this tiny wee room and feel just like your idols playing on a tiny wee pitch, even comes with smellyvision so you can experience the tiny tiny smells of the tiny dressing rooms

The Davie Bowman room, its utter ****

The Shankland room, very high ceilings, plenty headroom for those who have massive craniums

The George Foulkes pishy breeks room, its just a pishy room

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The Ian Black room. A very small room, bit like the Forth Bridge - it's constantly being painted.

The Not Relegated room. It's actually a tier below all the other rooms but this is vehemently denied by staff. Seeing as there are no windows it's hard for guests to know where they actually are.

What happens if Hearts get into Europe next season? Naismith still won't have his badges 🤣

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Originally Posted by Scooter

What happens if Hearts get into Europe next season? Naismith still won't have his badges [emoji1787]

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Could he wear a Frank McAvoy mask?

Because they definitely outsmarted EUFA last time around.

Sent from my SM-A750FN using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

The Craig Latrine room, with the golden cludgie en-suite

The medals Mackay room, its a budget room, very bare

The booked for being ugly Fulton room, has magic mirrors, they may or may not improve your looks

The Tiny room, experience staying in this tiny wee room and feel just like your idols playing on a tiny wee pitch, even comes with smellyvision so you can experience the tiny tiny smells of the tiny dressing rooms

The Davie Bowman room, its utter ****

The Shankland room, very high ceilings, plenty headroom for those who have massive craniums

The George Foulkes pishy breeks room, its just a pishy room

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The Graham Rix Room - er, maybe not......

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Originally Posted by Irish_Steve

The Graham Rix Room - er, maybe not......

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The Rixy

"Bloodstains don't show on a maroon bedspread"