Depression and anxiety

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Originally Posted by pacoluna

Marsbet aren't even regulated by the UK gambling commison license, the are regulated offshore.

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That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

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Originally Posted by Keith_M

That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

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I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.

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Originally Posted by One Day Soon

I think it is genuinely impossible to communicate to others who have not lived it the completely crushing and rotting effect of alcoholism and gambling addiction - worse still, both - on a family. On every level it is horrendous. I cannot say what's worse, an episode taking place or the dread and fear from the anticipation of the next episode taking place.

The majority of people can drink or gamble in a controlled way I would imagine. But a very sizeable and significant minority cannot. I think that the relationship between football and the betting companies in particular has become so direct now that we are storing up a time-bomb on this front - both for the funding of football when betting connections are inevitably and rightly reduced or removed and for generations of people experiencing betting as a normalised daily activity, many of who are going to become addicted and damaged.

In some ways for me the most depressing thing about this is the lack of anything even remotely approaching serious regulation of the betting industry. They seem to get a free pass which I think is contemptible.

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Sounds like you've suffered too, mate, and you totally nailed how I feel about it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

:aok:

Sad to hear the accounts of people's experiences in their families, for what it's worth you have my sympathy. Working in a gambling addiction service in mental health it's part of pretty much every day talking to 'affected others' who are suffering from the fallout of another's addiction, most often a partner but many times parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and so on. Sometimes these cases are characterised by domestic abuse in its various forms, emotional, financal and so on.

Some of the cases are truly desperate and one feels for for the people involved. The consequences of the addiction can be varied but most commonly there are resultant relationship and mental health problems, debts that see people homeless, financially ruined or families in tatters and sometimes children suffering which needs careful screening.

In recent times in particular I've experienced several clients appearing in Crown Court guilty of fraud etc, they were all due for sentencing before seeking help. Three of them got custodial sentences of significant length and one, very, very luckily got off with a suspended sentence. All of them were identified all over their local media which caused great problems for their families in being marginalised and children being bullied at school. I would urge people to contact the relevant support services.

People are sometimes unaware that services which offer counselling and support to gamblers also offer the same to affected others.

GamCare are the main national providers of these services: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/

Further peer support for affected others can be sought from GamAnon: https://gamanon.org.uk/

Stu, you're a star.


:aok:


I'm a grown man now (quite an old one at that) and the stuff that affected me so badly in my childhood is (mostly) long gone, but there are probably thousands of people going through similar experiences every day.



As an aside: When I hear of people doing something so worthwhile, it makes me realise how trivial my own job is. All power to their elbow

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Originally Posted by Keith_M

That's ridiculous. They should be regulated in the country in which they operate.


FWIW, my Dad was addicted to alcohol and gambling, and it meant my Mum struggled to pay the bills all the way through my childhood.

We were often underfed, had our electricity cut off regularly, never went anywhere on holiday until I was 14, and we had to listen to regular screaming matches when my Dad came home drunk and had wasted his wages... again.

I had regular, and pretty serious, panic attacks at night and can remember crying in the street for no apparent reason when I was about eight. I also had a really bad stutter, until I was about 18/19. As you can imagine, that caused serious problems in trying to get a job when I left school.

All of that was as a result of childhood mental trauma, and my brother and sisters all have similar tales to tell.



I totally understand that most people can both drink and have the occasional flutter without serious issues but, I have to be honest, I'm not that keen on seeing those types of companies promote their products through our club.

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Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.

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Originally Posted by CMurdoch

Thanks for that Keith. I can't get close to appreciating the misery of that situation other than for a fleeting moment and similarly I don't think people realise or think enough about how badly it affects the children who have to grow up through it.
Things improved when women working became the norm and mens wages were paid into the bank instead of being given to them in a brown envelope every week. Unfortunately the online era has burnt all those bridges on the gambling front and we are back beyond square one.

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Cheers Colin.


I did think about adding the fact that my first holiday at 14 was to a caravan owned by my Gran's next door neighbour (so we didn't have to pay for it), it was in Fife (almost in sight of my house) and that there wasn't enough room in the caravan for me and my brother and we had to sleep in the van but.... even though it was true.... it was starting to sound the like The Four Yorkshiremen sketch by that point :greengrin

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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:top marks

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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mate, genuinely happy reading this, and it’s one of the most positive things I’ve heard/read in a while, well done

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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Well done.

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Originally Posted by Keith_M

Stu, you're a star.


:aok:


I'm a grown man now (quite an old one at that) and the stuff that affected me so badly in my childhood is (mostly) long gone, but there are probably thousands of people going through similar experiences every day.

As an aside: When I hear of people doing something so worthwhile, it makes me realise how trivial my own job is. All power to their elbow

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Thanks for the kind words, Keith. I think at the same time it's important to say that this work has helped me personally as well. Sometime people say things such as 'I couldn't sit listening to problems all day long' but actually, we get to hear of the successes too - people changing their lives, saving relationships, reuniting families and making progress again so that is always fantastic. Thanks too for sharing your story.

Paul Merson has a mention up the thread and this short video featuring him on the subject of brain activity after stimulous from gambling triggers is very interesting and enlightening I thought.

Paul Merson: Football, Gambling & Me
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09y3lgl

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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That is such a fantastic story to read.

Well done to you bud and keep it going eh. :aok: :not worth

Bump

On a train to York (to get to Manchester but that's another story). Train delayed due to someone getting hit by a train on the line.

There's a couple in front complaining as their son is picking them up and will be livid.

Some folk can't see beyond their own wee selfish world.

This thread should always be at the top of this forum.

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

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Originally Posted by Santa Cruz

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

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I might turn that question back to you and ask "how did it make you feel even writing that?" :agree:

Being "out" doesn't sit comfortably with everyone, that's for sure. Doing it on a semi-anonymous site, though, can be a halfway-house for some.

One of my mantras, that I use with clients, is "find what works for you, and keep doing it." If you feel better by sharing on here, or by just reading and absorbing, that's the way to go.

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

I might turn that question back to you and ask "how did it make you feel even writing that?" :agree:

Being "out" doesn't sit comfortably with everyone, that's for sure. Doing it on a semi-anonymous site, though, can be a halfway-house for some.

One of my mantras, that I use with clients, is "find what works for you, and keep doing it." If you feel better by sharing on here, or by just reading and absorbing, that's the way to go.

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Weirdly, very emotional while typing. I think for me just reading today helped.

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Originally Posted by Santa Cruz

Weirdly, very emotional while typing. I think for me just reading today helped.

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There is no "weird". It's you. Embrace it. :agree:

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Originally Posted by Santa Cruz

I've only ever read more recent posts on this thread. I started on page 1 this morning and will keep reading the rest of the thread. It really helped me, so thanks to everyone for that. Posting about my circumstance is not something I'd be comfortable ever doing, so I imagine that was quite a difficult thing to do for some posters. Can I ask anyone who has contributed, did it help once you had wrote down your thoughts/experiences, did you feel a bit of a release from your worries by doing that?

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For those of us who suffer from poor mental health, this thread has, for me, been very helpful. I do find the process of writing my thoughts and feelings down hugely helpful so I keep a diary. Some days might not write anything but just getting thoughts down does help me. As CWG says, there’s no “right” way, it’s what works for you to help you firstly get through it and cope and secondly, hopefully develop coping strategies to deal with the future. Everybody’s strategies are different, for me it’s exercise, giving up alcohol, yoga, reading and writing things down . Sharing experience through this thread is also part of this

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

For those of us who suffer from poor mental health, this thread has, for me, been very helpful. I do find the process of writing my thoughts and feelings down hugely helpful so I keep a diary. Some days might not write anything but just getting thoughts down does help me. As CWG says, there’s no “right” way, it’s what works for you to help you firstly get through it and cope and secondly, hopefully develop coping strategies to deal with the future. Everybody’s strategies are different, for me it’s exercise, giving up alcohol, yoga, reading and writing things down . Sharing experience through this thread is also part of this

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That's a good idea about the diary. Thanks for replying.

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Originally Posted by Santa Cruz

That's a good idea about the diary. Thanks for replying.

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No problem. The other good thing about writing things down is that sometimes you can identify certain triggers about what’s causing it when you feel bad. Hope it works for you 👍

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Originally Posted by Scorrie

No problem. The other good thing about writing things down is that sometimes you can identify certain triggers about what’s causing it when you feel bad. Hope it works for you 👍

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I'm not much of a diary keeper personally these days but I often find it really helpful for my clients. As you say CWG, very useful too for identifying patterns of behaviour and triggers.

For many there is a need for some kind of dialogue about how they are feeling and sometimes that dialogue can be with yourself. Actually just speaking with a professional and expressing your thoughts can be a very therapeutic experience just simply to 'get it out' especially after internalising those thought for a period of time. I would very regularly hear client say towards the end of their initial session that they feel so much better in just getting things off their chest and out there, particularly with a non-judgmental and impartial professional. It shouldn't be underestimated.

I hope everyone is keeping relatively well at this quite tricky time. Further, I hope they feel able to share a little if that's not the case. There are good people here to offer support.

It was a bit of a leap of faith for me to write on here as I’m fairly well known. But it was cathartic. I even blogged about it for a while and put my name out there.

One thing I do religiously is journal on a daily basis and that is a huge help. It’s motivating to look back at what i was writing a year ago and seeing how far I have come. If you’re ever feeling a wee bit down; being able to rewind and get that reassurance that you are so much better than you once were is motivation enough to snap out of your mini-funk and realise you’re on a pathway to happiness.

Morning Pages is the app I use on my iPhone to document my thoughts. Sometimes it’s not until you start writing that you begin to unravel so many things that had previously betwixt you.

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

It was a bit of a leap of faith for me to write on here as I’m fairly well known. But it was cathartic. I even blogged about it for a while and put my name out there.

One thing I do religiously is journal on a daily basis and that is a huge help. It’s motivating to look back at what i was writing a year ago and seeing how far I have come. If you’re ever feeling a wee bit down; being able to rewind and get that reassurance that you are so much better than you once were is motivation enough to snap out of your mini-funk and realise you’re on a pathway to happiness.

Morning Pages is the app I use on my iPhone to document my thoughts. Sometimes it’s not until you start writing that you begin to unravel so many things that had previously betwixt you.

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Good to hear you are on an upwards curve.

I hope everybody's doing well...

...and you're all getting over yesterday's result as best you can :greengrin

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Originally Posted by Pedantic_Hibee

Not so much a depression/anxiety input here, but as a contributor to this thread in the past, I’d just like to check in and say I’m doing well.

After last years heartbreak split and resultant homelessness, unemployment and financial hit, I’ve now got a settled job, renting a lovely, lovely house and I’ve been single pretty much for a year working on myself.

I workout a lot and the confidence boost gained from that is immeasurable. After a particularly heavy weekend two weeks ago, I took a split second notion to undertake sober October. I doubled up with Stoptober as well and can proudly say I’m now on my 9th day cigarette free which is the longest I’ve went in nearly twenty years. I was never really a weekday drinker but sobriety in the last two weekends has given me a significant boost and much more clarity in my headspace. I was at an all day wedding yesterday amongst a group of friends (about 15 of us who have known each other since we were about 4/5 years old and aside from a straight whisky for a toast with us all, I stuck to non alcoholic lager and didn’t cave with the fags despite obvious temptations)

It’s impossible to adequately convey just how important mindset is. Your situation can be dire or full of potential, it’s absolutely all in the mind.

I hope everyone is doing well and thinking positive.

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You should be very proud of yourself. You've been through hell, and it's a real achievement how far you've come. It's humbling to read of the experiences some people have endured, and it's great to learn your circumstances are much better. Long may your new start continue to prosper :aok:

For those of you for whom the darkness is an issue....

Happy Solstice.... the days will start to get longer now. :agree:

****ing covid restrictions

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy

****ing covid restrictions

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

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Yup.

Can see myself really struggling soon.

Me too. I've had enough of this ****.

Done everything we were asked to do and still at square 1.

**** it!!

Meant to be hosting this year’s Hogmanay gathering. Reluctantly cancelled but feel I’m being really proactive. One of our circle of friends is very strongly politically minded and we he brings everything from today up I will attack him quite frankly. Thankfully we are a supportive group of friends, folk know it’s a disaster waiting to happen given my mindset.

Someone else leathered him 4 years ago at Hogmanay and he didn’t managed to take anything on-board.

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

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Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

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Hi PH, totally understand what you're saying here. It's impossible to generalise about these things as there are so many variables concerning the person the type of medication the person is taking and the interaction between these things too. In many ways you answer your own question, you're right, it's not recommended. What would be helpful for you is to consult your GP regards a medication review. In that, you could discuss your reasons for wanting to stop taking the medication and how it felt for you during your recent experience. There is no need to do this this alone/unsupervised. Your GP is not there to deter or encourage you to take the medication and will discuss it with you. Some medication can cease fairly rapidly, others need more of a weaning off period. Your experience of the side effects you describe indicate that a discussion/review would be appropiate for you. Best wishes mate.

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Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

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Have tried to come off mine many a time and each time i'm certain i can do it, lasted a month and a half but the effects where over bearing so had to reinstate, while i dont want to be on them i feel i dont really have a choice as without some kind of rehab to get off them it just isnt going to happen for me.

As far as im aware depending on the length of time on them recovery can take a long time even years, its not a fast process, i had all of those effects when i tried to just not take them anymore, i made myself ill peeing blood, stomach agony, not eating, a what i describe as a vertigo feeling, high anxiety, random moments of crying etc (paroxetine), i would go to your GP and get checked out, at the end of the day you dont want to do anything that may make you ill or in hospital.

I would suggest you probaly need to reinstate for a while and once ready ask the doctor to wean you off as slowly as possible, i dont think many doctors even know the effects of coming off them from my own experience.

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Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is coping as best they can with this time of year which can be stressful and dark at the best of times but just feels horrible still with all the covid uncertainty.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has had bad experiences coming off anti-depressants.

I’ve decided to stop taking mine, i had got myself into quite a good place mentally and physically, I work out a lot and have got many coping strategies in place now that I simply didn’t have when I was struggling previously. So I thought I’d try to live without them. Almost as an experiment to see how I would feel.

it’s not going well. Frankly I feel ill. No appetite, constant pains in my stomach, pins and needles in my fingers, fatigue, and mentally hollow and empty. Like I’m walking around in a daze almost.

i suppose just coming off them is not recommended and I knew there would be some effects but has anyone else experienced it? How long does it last? And would you suggest any help?

thanks

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I have had extremely bad experiences coming off anti depressants in the past. To the point where it was far worse than the depression it was supposed to be dealing with. There are messageboards and support groups on line that I found very helpful and supportive. As Stu says, use your GP and any support you can, BUT be aware that everyone has different reactions to different medications, there are so many ADs out there. I tried Mirtazapine for a few weeks, found it wasnt working for me and then started to taper off and got really awful stomach cramps in the morning which lasted about 3 weeks. It was pretty scary. But Mirtazapine was recommended by a lot of people as one you could easily come off with little side effects! Which just goes to show that there is no one size fits all.

Coming off Seroxat (paroxetine) was just a horrible experience. If i had any idea what it was like i would have stayed on it. And theres no easy answers, for some people, meds work and trying to come off is a bad idea.

Your GP will probably advise you taper off gradually, by halfing your dose and halfing it again after a week or so, but I found i had to taper very very VERY gradually, with a few miligrams reduction each time which i could only do by moving to liquid from tablet. My personal experience is the medical establishment tends to advise some people to come off faster than they can deal with.

Im in a great place now but i remember what its like and its really tough and i sympathise, let us know how it goes.



Christmas can be a really difficult time for people, and this Christmas is uniquely hard with everything thats going on in the world and being separate from loved ones. God only knows how we're all coping. I just wanted to reach out to folk on this thread who have contributed and given us all food for thought and wish you all well over the festive period. Its such a great resource and ive learned a lot from it personally:not worth

Thanks guys.

I’ll speak to my gp and see what she says.

best wishes for Christmas to everyone.

Anxiety UK have developed a free guide for those who struggle with Christmas.

I can't upload it, but you can get it here:-

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/product...ant-downloads/

It might be the best present you give yourself or a loved one. :aok:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Anxiety UK have developed a free guide for those who struggle with Christmas.

I can't upload it, but you can get it here:-

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/product...ant-downloads/

It might be the best present you give yourself or a loved one. :aok:

---

:agree:

Must admit I'm feeling stressed out and can't get into the Christmas spirit. It's been a hell of a year for various reasons. Just trying to keep busy and hold off the OCD traits!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

:agree:

Must admit I'm feeling stressed out and can't get into the Christmas spirit. It's been a hell of a year for various reasons. Just trying to keep busy and hold off the OCD traits!

---

I’ve been feeling very stressed for a little while now, couple of very mild, almost panic attacks at work, and very low as well.

like yourself I’ve just not been feeling Christmas at all this year, putting a smile on for the bairn and family, but tbh I can see the 27th coming far enough

Always a difficult time of year. I think this year will prove particularly tough.

The expectation of a more normal Christmas snatched away late in the day. Plans being cancelled last minute as covid hits people who have thus far avoided it and a generally sombre mood.

For me it's about remembering it's one day. I have to put a face on for the kids, particularly my eldest. She's been a star dealing with the isolating and deserves as good a day as we can give her. We'll eat some nice food, do a Zoom call with extended family and watch crap telly and play games.

As I said it really is one day and hard as it sometimes might be to see sometimes, it's not the end of the world if it goes wrong. For anyone alone or struggling maybe consider going along to a Christmas Day Parkrun or one of the communal walks organised in a few places. There is one up Falkland Hill in Fife.

I hope everyone on this thread has a peaceful Christmas. There are so many good people contribute to this thread and you have all made a positive difference in the life of others by sharing your story.

Thanks all who posted on here this year. Been really helpful in this tough year. Hope everybody has a peaceful, healthy and stress free Christmas.

Wishing you all the very, very best.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by McD

I’ve been feeling very stressed for a little while now, couple of very mild, almost panic attacks at work, and very low as well.

like yourself I’ve just not been feeling Christmas at all this year, putting a smile on for the bairn and family, but tbh I can see the 27th coming far enough

---

Take care of yourself bud. I understand what you mean about 'feeling' Christmas. In all honesty, I'm not the greatest Christmas fan but I had a pal come round for a visit this afternoon and had to catch my thoughts to remember it was actually Christmas Day tomorrow.

I think that ironically, the ushering in of the 25th December again will bring some relief for many. The build-up and especially the expectations can be very high and when feelings of helplessness or inability in meeting those expectations comes along it can be deeply upsetting or unsettling. This is especially so when we feel it may affect others, say our loved ones, in a negative way. Many matters have been out of our control due to Covid and we witness the great sadness and disappointment mentioned within this forum by those who have had their hopes dashed of a 'traditional' Christmas dashed at the eleventh hour due to isolating in particular.

It seems simplistic to say but it really does revolve around one day of our lives, sacrosanct though we may see that day. That time passes whether we wish it to or not and very quickly it is history with the rush of Christmas quickly trailing into a distant blur.

A few years ago, after losing my partner and being faced with a very quiet and subdued situation in the home, full of grief and sorrow, I wondered how to 'survive' the days of Christmas. A friend who was full of wisdom offered me similar thoughts to the above. I remained conscious of my feelings through that first Christmas and understood on reflection that it really didn't hurt me. The time passed and I got on with my life as we all do.

At the risk of repeating myself, we really need to manage those expectations, about this time of year and indeed generally in life. To not challenge them can be anxiety inducing, uncomfortable, even painful.

I'd like to wish all here a pleasant and peaceful time, also thank each and every person for their meaningful and sincere thoughts on the conversations we've had here and no doubt will continue to have. I know that I learn a lot from those contributions. Thank you.

Happy Christmas all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Take care of yourself bud. I understand what you mean about 'feeling' Christmas. In all honesty, I'm not the greatest Christmas fan but I had a pal come round for a visit this afternoon and had to catch my thoughts to remember it was actually Christmas Day tomorrow.

I think that ironically, the ushering in of the 25th December again will bring some relief for many. The build-up and especially the expectations can be very high and when feelings of helplessness or inability in meeting those expectations comes along it can be deeply upsetting or unsettling. This is especially so when we feel it may affect others, say our loved ones, in a negative way. Many matters have been out of our control due to Covid and we witness the great sadness and disappointment mentioned within this forum by those who have had their hopes dashed of a 'traditional' Christmas dashed at the eleventh hour due to isolating in particular.

It seems simplistic to say but it really does revolve around one day of our lives, sacrosanct though we may see that day. That time passes whether we wish it to or not and very quickly it is history with the rush of Christmas quickly trailing into a distant blur.

A few years ago, after losing my partner and being faced with a very quiet and subdued situation in the home, full of grief and sorrow, I wondered how to 'survive' the days of Christmas. A friend who was full of wisdom offered me similar thoughts to the above. I remained conscious of my feelings through that first Christmas and understood on reflection that it really didn't hurt me. The time passed and I got on with my life as we all do.

At the risk of repeating myself, we really need to manage those expectations, about this time of year and indeed generally in life. To not challenge them can be anxiety inducing, uncomfortable, even painful.

I'd like to wish all here a pleasant and peaceful time, also thank each and every person for their meaningful and sincere thoughts on the conversations we've had here and no doubt will continue to have. I know that I learn a lot from those contributions. Thank you.

Happy Christmas all.

---

thanks for this Stu

i think you make a really important point, that struggling with anything in the time leading to Christmas, doesn’t just ‘go away’ because it’s Christmas, and it’s important to take time for self care


I’d also like to wish everyone a peaceful, relaxing and happy time, not just over Christmas, but hopefully this is a time for most, if not all of us to get some space, and find some comfort and respite from the challenges each of us is dealing with

merry Christmas

Just to give a bit of hope to folk. I came off sertraline early November under the advise of gp and to start with it was a real struggle. Another gp said that it was totally the wrong time of year for me (dark days and my sons anniversary) and if my mood didn’t pick up soon to get back on my meds until spring. I reckoned after a fortnight of misery I’d stick it out for another week, and I’m glad I did!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments of crying for no apparent reason and been a grumpy ******* at times but saw it through.
Today was going to be a real test with my wife testing a positive LFT so not seeing the bairns but speaking on FaceTime and doing a virtual quiz was a bit of a giggle, so all good so far. Hopefully I’ve turned the corner!!
Merry Christmas and the very best of health to everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
Cabbaged
Apologies if that’s a bit of a ramble, too many vino’s 😂

Quote:

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Originally Posted by I'm_cabbaged

Just to give a bit of hope to folk. I came off sertraline early November under the advise of gp and to start with it was a real struggle. Another gp said that it was totally the wrong time of year for me (dark days and my sons anniversary) and if my mood didn’t pick up soon to get back on my meds until spring. I reckoned after a fortnight of misery I’d stick it out for another week, and I’m glad I did!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments of crying for no apparent reason and been a grumpy ******* at times but saw it through.
Today was going to be a real test with my wife testing a positive LFT so not seeing the bairns but speaking on FaceTime and doing a virtual quiz was a bit of a giggle, so all good so far. Hopefully I’ve turned the corner!!
Merry Christmas and the very best of health to everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
Cabbaged
Apologies if that’s a bit of a ramble, too many vino’s 😂

---

:aok:

It remains a difficult time for many with much uncertainty and hardship. Just a gentle reminder to keep an eye on friends, family and others close to us.

This morning I noticed a series of concerning Facebook posts from an acquaintance. There were many responses asking if the person was okay etc,. An occasional person asking if someone local could go round and pay him a visit to see if he's okay but with nobody responding to that nor doing anything but showing concern.

It's really important if you have any concerns at all of this nature to contact emergency services to request a welfare call in these circumstances. I can understand that sometimes people might feel a bit silly or that they're overacting if the person turns out to be okay but try and put those personal feelings aside and make sure the person is safe. I know of instances, even with professionals, where this has not happened and people have lost their lives.

My acquaintance today was found to be safe thankfully but not in great shape and wasn't responding to people either on the phone or at his property.

Take care of each other.

Kevin McNaughton sending some really troubling tweets last night. Thankfully found safely by the police today.

Attachment 25505

Horrible thing to see but glad he has been found.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lendo

Kevin McNaughton sending some really troubling tweets last night. Thankfully found safely by the police today.

Attachment 25505

Horrible thing to see but glad he has been found.

---

That's awful. Glad he's been found and hopefully he can get the help he needs.

Cracking player.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lendo

Kevin McNaughton sending some really troubling tweets last night. Thankfully found safely by the police today.

Attachment 25505

Horrible thing to see but glad he has been found.

---

That's really sad to hear.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Keith_M

That's really sad to hear.


My own life at the moment is probably familiar to a lot of people, as it seems to be one long pointless malaise.

I get up, do my work, go through normal routines and it all feels so pointless. I have had some short breaks, go out for a wander every weekend, sometimes visit family, go to the football... but I honestly can't remember the last time I actually really enjoyed doing anything, though I pretend to, so I don't upset anybody.

I expect there's loads of folk feel the same, though.

---

I was feeling like that in the run up to Christmas. Working from home was making things tougher. Every day just feels like the day before, nothing to look forward to or get excited about. Plus just prior to Christmas I lost my best mate to cancer.

Since New Year I’ve started running again and hitting the gym three times a week. I’ve signed up to a few races to give me something to work towards. All I’m focused on now is my Fitness graph on Strava and making sure it continues to go up. It’s such a small thing but having something to motivate me has helped hugely.

It’s really difficult to get yourself out of a rut but it is possible and once you do things get a hell of a lot easier as the weeks go by.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Keith_M

That's really sad to hear.

---

This is the misery guts thread, so not only is it allowed, it’s actively encouraged.

This for any LGBT posters. Pretty appalling stuff, but worth being aware of.

https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz/status/1486997717410795529?t=bbJaxh3QEGf0yr2uCXqoJw&s=19

This for any LGBT posters or allies. Pretty appalling stuff, but worth being aware of.

https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz/s...r2uCXqoJw&s=19

https://timetotalkday.co.uk/about/

Today is TTTD, a mental health awareness day run by Mind in partnership with the Scottish Association for Mental Health and See Me in Scotland. The aim of the day is to encourage open and frank conversations about mental health with friends, family, and colleagues with the aim of building supportive and transformative communities across the country.

Been going through that worthless feeling of late, just seems like I can do nothing right, high anxiety, depression etc, hoping in the long term I can get out of that feeling its not a nice place to be in. Mental health is something you don't really get I feel until you go through it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LunasBoots

Been going through that worthless feeling of late, just seems like I can do nothing right, high anxiety, depression etc, hoping in the long term I can get out of that feeling its not a nice place to be in. Mental health is something you don't really get I feel until you go through it.

---

You’ve taken a massive step by even just opening up about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling by posting here. DM are always open, as I’m sure they are for most people on this thread if you need to talk.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LunasBoots

Been going through that worthless feeling of late, just seems like I can do nothing right, high anxiety, depression etc, hoping in the long term I can get out of that feeling its not a nice place to be in. Mental health is something you don't really get I feel until you go through it.

---

I've been feeling very similarly for a few months now mate, and know exactly what you mean. The enjoyment seems sucked out of everything, little interest in doing things you normally enjoy, even wee things

Don’t know if any of you are aware, there is a good podcast that seems to be getting recored weekly about mental health by the longbangers guys.

They are open to having new people join so just get in touch.

Otherwise, I find it an immensely interesting discussion every week. It’s good to know some people feel the same way you do.

Here’s the spotify link, it’s called Heidbangers.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oD...R2eQUxQobXBnBw

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alex Trager

Don’t know if any of you are aware, there is a good podcast that seems to be getting recored weekly about mental health by the longbangers guys.

They are open to having new people join so just get in touch.

Otherwise, I find it an immensely interesting discussion every week. It’s good to know some people feel the same way you do.

Here’s the spotify link, it’s called Heidbangers.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oD...R2eQUxQobXBnBw

---

It’s really good this.

Well worth a listen

I've had anxiety for a few years.ive been off medication for over a year.But in the last few months ive had to deal with my dad & uncle both getting diagnosed with prostate cancer.ive split with my girlfriend.my sister has been sectioned with mental health issues. I'm back on pills now.ive bit the bullet and asked for help.i can't cope on my own.but ive realised there is help out there.if only one person struggling reads this.please get help.there are folk out there that love you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lendo

You’ve taken a massive step by even just opening up about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling by posting here. DM are always open, as I’m sure they are for most people on this thread if you need to talk.

---

Thanks mate, have been in weekly CBT therapy which has been a eye-opener to problems throughout my life, basically has said I've been very let down by certain professionals and even some family who don't get the whole mental illness thing and just act like I'm normal and can do everyday life things like them when that's not the case. One day I'm fine next I can be right down in the dumps, just try my best to live with it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LunasBoots

Thanks mate, have been in weekly CBT therapy which has been a eye-opener to problems throughout my life, basically has said I've been very let down by certain professionals and even some family who don't get the whole mental illness thing and just act like I'm normal and can do everyday life things like them when that's not the case. One day I'm fine next I can be right down in the dumps, just try my best to live with it.

---

Your last sentence is key. Taking each day as it comes is so important and on the bad days remember that it will pass and, importantly, be kind to yourself

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ArnoldGrove

I've had anxiety for a few years.ive been off medication for over a year.But in the last few months ive had to deal with my dad & uncle both getting diagnosed with prostate cancer.ive split with my girlfriend.my sister has been sectioned with mental health issues. I'm back on pills now.ive bit the bullet and asked for help.i can't cope on my own.but ive realised there is help out there.if only one person struggling reads this.please get help.there are folk out there that love you.

---

Ive read pages upon pages of this thread, Ive had my moments but know what, the sheer balls that folk and fellow hibs fans have in sharing their experiences with fellow fans (hope guest fans are reading too as we are as one) trumps anything football has to offer, 10/10 hibs.net for this thread

Kick on mate, you are not and will never be alone

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ArnoldGrove

I've had anxiety for a few years.ive been off medication for over a year.But in the last few months ive had to deal with my dad & uncle both getting diagnosed with prostate cancer.ive split with my girlfriend.my sister has been sectioned with mental health issues. I'm back on pills now.ive bit the bullet and asked for help.i can't cope on my own.but ive realised there is help out there.if only one person struggling reads this.please get help.there are folk out there that love you.

---

Speaking up is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Similarly, I found (and still do) that writing a daily journal helps massively in unravelling my thoughts.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ArnoldGrove

I've had anxiety for a few years.ive been off medication for over a year.But in the last few months ive had to deal with my dad & uncle both getting diagnosed with prostate cancer.ive split with my girlfriend.my sister has been sectioned with mental health issues. I'm back on pills now.ive bit the bullet and asked for help.i can't cope on my own.but ive realised there is help out there.if only one person struggling reads this.please get help.there are folk out there that love you.

---

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling, understandable given your circumstances.

It's good to hear you've reached out for help and I really hope you get the help you need.

Anybody heard of this?

https://www.iflscience.com/health-an...t-of-patients/

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg

Anybody heard of this?

https://www.iflscience.com/health-an...t-of-patients/

---

Yeah. There was a wee discussion on here about it a few months back.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ArnoldGrove

I've had anxiety for a few years.ive been off medication for over a year.But in the last few months ive had to deal with my dad & uncle both getting diagnosed with prostate cancer.ive split with my girlfriend.my sister has been sectioned with mental health issues. I'm back on pills now.ive bit the bullet and asked for help.i can't cope on my own.but ive realised there is help out there.if only one person struggling reads this.please get help.there are folk out there that love you.

---

Sorry to hear you’re having a particularly tough time of it pal, never easy.

I know someone that experienced pretty similar to what you described above. It can be a long grind but there is a light at the other side as there is absolutely no shame in reaching out for help.

It’s also quite surprising how much of a difference the weather and light can make, which should begin to improve quickly.

In addition - I wouldn’t describe myself as in a depressive or anxious state at all right now. But I am aware with everything going on in the world right now, that it makes my mood less ‘hopeful’ when I do feel less then great.

Hopefully things pick-up for you before long.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg

Anybody heard of this?

https://www.iflscience.com/health-an...t-of-patients/

---

Yes, I was involved in setting up an experiment using TMS a few years ago at The Institute of Mental Health, University of Nottingham. At the time the thinking was that it had potential regarding the benefits for people with depression that had been found. However, these benefits were short-lived, maybe just a day or so. The treatment used a skull cap which passed magnetic impulses through the brain. Non-invasive. Participants in the experiment were offered a £20 voucher as I recall.

Bumping this thread. Way to important to sit hidden on page 3.

It has helped me so much just reading others experiences/advice. Thanks again for sharing.

New series on Netflix about psychedelics. How To Change Your Mind. Might be worth a look.

I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

ah well. Time to work on it again.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia

I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

ah well. Time to work on it again.

---

Sorry to hear that.

However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

Get the tool box out again 😀

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Sorry to hear that.

However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

Get the tool box out again 😀

---

thanks mate

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia

I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

ah well. Time to work on it again.

---

Can sympathise with this.

I was in a place for a period where I couldn't enjoy good moments to their fullest because I 'knew' something ***** would inevitably be round the corner that would plunge me deeper into a hole that became more and more difficult to get out of with every passing occasion.

Therapy helped me massively. Among other things I was able to learn to ride the peaks and troughs of life much better than I ever have.

It's very easy to say but your car getting stolen (though an absolute pain in the arse) shouldn't be the setback to your mental health that you're feeling it is.

Therapy (and time) is a great way to tackle those feelings but in the meantime, take a breather, try not to be so hard on yourself and practice a bit of self-care (e.g. whatever calms you).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Sorry to hear that.

However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

Get the tool box out again 😀

---

I would agree 100% with this. Unfortunately life does throw crappy things at you which can seem to set you back. But remember how far you’ve come, try to realise that these things happen to everybody (not just you for being “weak” and use the tools you have to get through it. I have to use the tools that therapy gave me almost every morning when I wake up. They do help

Put this in the main three as but there’s a drop in session for the changing room next Monday. Meeting at 6 at the famous five stand.

A chance for men to tackle their mental health through Hibs.

It’s free, safe and confidential. And there’s tea and biscuits!

Interesting new study on the question of low serotonin .

https://neurosciencenews.com/serotonin-depression-21074/

Moving this up. Not depression or anxiety as such but a bit advice.

My Mum died in May. She had MND. I mentioned it before on other threads and it wasn't unexpected due to her diagnosis.

However, I took time off work following it probably, obviously. Work have been excellent in that they've basically said take as much time as I need and mean it. I had a meeting about going back, with OH but they want me to speak to a bereavement Counciller before I go back. I'm not even sure where to start really...

My work offers a thing through a third party where you call call up and they arrange over the phone councilling. I'm not really interested in speaking to someone over the phone, it's impersonal and I don't particularly like it. However, the service has been crap, I've called three times;

Once to set it up, they complained it was a bad line but I could hear them. Eventually I gave up. Secondly I managed to speak to some admin guy in a call centre who said he'd arranged an appointment between a two hour window on a day. They didn't call.

I called this morning to chase it up and was told someone would call back. Still waiting.

I've contacted another option through an insurance scheme I pay into via work and I was told to call back cos everyone was busy.

I'm not invested in it. I'm not particularly interested in doing it, I'm doing it so I can go back to work but I'm getting massively pissed off because they're telling me to access it but I'm having to jump through hoops to try and just talk to someone I've no real interest in talking to anyway...

I'd much prefer face to face. I hate relying on phone calls and other people letting me down constantly.

Has anyone been in this situation or can anyone offer advice?



Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy

Moving this up. Not depression or anxiety as such but a bit advice.

My Mum died in May. She had MND. I mentioned it before on other threads and it wasn't unexpected due to her diagnosis.

However, I took time off work following it probably, obviously. Work have been excellent in that they've basically said take as much time as I need and mean it. I had a meeting about going back, with OH but they want me to speak to a bereavement Counciller before I go back. I'm not even sure where to start really...

My work offers a thing through a third party where you call call up and they arrange over the phone councilling. I'm not really interested in speaking to someone over the phone, it's impersonal and I don't particularly like it. However, the service has been crap, I've called three times;

Once to set it up, they complained it was a bad line but I could hear them. Eventually I gave up. Secondly I managed to speak to some admin guy in a call centre who said he'd arranged an appointment between a two hour window on a day. They didn't call.

I called this morning to chase it up and was told someone would call back. Still waiting.

I've contacted another option through an insurance scheme I pay into via work and I was told to call back cos everyone was busy.

I'm not invested in it. I'm not particularly interested in doing it, I'm doing it so I can go back to work but I'm getting massively pissed off because they're telling me to access it but I'm having to jump through hoops to try and just talk to someone I've no real interest in talking to anyway...

I'd much prefer face to face. I hate relying on phone calls and other people letting me down constantly.

Has anyone been in this situation or can anyone offer advice?



Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

---

Hi Jimmy

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. I'll try to offer a few thoughts and suggestions about your problem. I understand that it's an obligation for you to have support and I'll speak on that basis.

Sorry too about your experience so far. It sounds as though the organisation you're dealing with may possibly have a lack of resources and or staff. Such is the way nowadays.

The first people I think of for bereavement support are Cruse, a non-profit organisation. I see their business address in Scotland is in Edinburgh (not sure where you're based) and I'm wondering if there might be 1-1 face to face support for you locally with them. Have a check through their site, it mentions slightly different support for those bereaved within the past six months and those bereaved beyond that time. There's opinion that for some, support after the first six months can be more beneficial at a time when family and friend support has decreased and people have passed through stages of grief.. You may want to make this point with your employer.

https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/how...rt-for-adults/

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Regarding telephone counselling I have several years experience in carrying this out and recognise the pros and cons of it. I am given little choice but to offer anything but telephone or Zoom calls and find the majority of people are happy enough with it. I also recognise that some are disappointed that they cannot meet face to face and totally understand that sentiment.You may find a videocall a little better but for some it presents another layer of difficulty. I find people who choose telephone work way outnumber those who like a Zoom call.

The pandemic accelerated use of telephone and online work and many services have not returned or returned fully to offering in-person counselling, my employers mostly included in that.

I think many practitioners have become more skilled at giving support by these means in recent times though some undoubtedly still don't like it or buy into it fully. If it's the case that you have no other options, let's then consider a few positive aspects of it. I should say firstly that my own organisation's results since employing these methods have actually been slightly more successful, believe it or not! A key might be in the attendance figures.

With telephone counselling the only cue or clue to what's actually happening with the client is of course their voice. Active listening by the practitioner should always be of great inportance and this is increasingly so when there are none of the traditional cues and clues given by someone presenting in front of you. You can be sure that any practitioner is listening double-hard in my view!

From a practitioner's view on how they can help you they can have a range of resources and research at their fingertips online as you both speak.

Many clients enjoy that they can relax in their own environment at home. They find it less tense and anxiety-inducing than having to get to a building somewhere, sit in an unfamiliar room, out of their own comfort zone. Instead, they can sit at home and chat with a cup of coffee and let the session roll out.

I have had many clients who were at first dead set against telephone support but quickly settled into it after committing. I guess part of that is in the practitioner's skill and experience in working this way.

Let me know either here or by DM if I can answer any other questions for you mate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

Hi Jimmy

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. I'll try to offer a few thoughts and suggestions about your problem. I understand that it's an obligation for you to have support and I'll speak on that basis.

Sorry too about your experience so far. It sounds as though the organisation you're dealing with may possibly have a lack of resources and or staff. Such is the way nowadays.

The first people I think of for bereavement support are Cruse, a non-profit organisation. I see their business address in Scotland is in Edinburgh (not sure where you're based) and I'm wondering if there might be 1-1 face to face support for you locally with them. Have a check through their site, it mentions slightly different support for those bereaved within the past six months and those bereaved beyond that time. There's opinion that for some, support after the first six months can be more beneficial at a time when family and friend support has decreased and people have passed through stages of grief.. You may want to make this point with your employer.

https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/how...rt-for-adults/

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Regarding telephone counselling I have several years experience in carrying this out and recognise the pros and cons of it. I am given little choice but to offer anything but telephone or Zoom calls and find the majority of people are happy enough with it. I also recognise that some are disappointed that they cannot meet face to face and totally understand that sentiment.You may find a videocall a little better but for some it presents another layer of difficulty. I find people who choose telephone work way outnumber those who like a Zoom call.

The pandemic accelerated use of telephone and online work and many services have not returned or returned fully to offering in-person counselling, my employers mostly included in that.

I think many practitioners have become more skilled at giving support by these means in recent times though some undoubtedly still don't like it or buy into it fully. If it's the case that you have no other options, let's then consider a few positive aspects of it. I should say firstly that my own organisation's results since employing these methods have actually been slightly more successful, believe it or not! A key might be in the attendance figures.

With telephone counselling the only cue or clue to what's actually happening with the client is of course their voice. Active listening by the practitioner should always be of great inportance and this is increasingly so when there are none of the traditional cues and clues given by someone presenting in front of you. You can be sure that any practitioner is listening double-hard in my view!

From a practitioner's view on how they can help you they can have a range of resources and research at their fingertips online as you both speak.

Many clients enjoy that they can relax in their own environment at home. They find it less tense and anxiety-inducing than having to get to a building somewhere, sit in an unfamiliar room, out of their own comfort zone. Instead, they can sit at home and chat with a cup of coffee and let the session roll out.

I have had many clients who were at first dead set against telephone support but quickly settled into it after committing. I guess part of that is in the practitioner's skill and experience in working this way.

Let me know either here or by DM if I can answer any other questions for you mate.

---

Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service. That's maybe unfair as you suggest, I'm absolutely less tolerant of things atm.

I'm open to speaking, I don't particularly feel I need it yet but it's likely I'm just not recognising that. If its as successful as you suggest it might be, I'll give it a shot and see. My wife suggested earlier that being closed to it means it'll fail either way and as normal... she's right.

I'll drop you a PM in a bit if I have anything else I need to discuss. I'm currently waiting on another call back from them so I'll see how it goes.

Thanks again.

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy

Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service.

---

I hear you and I agree.

Sounds to me as though you have a fairly progressive employer (since they've been helpful and have these services available). In your position, I think I'd be speaking to my employer to let them know your feelings about the service that their contractor is providing. I expect they'll have someone whose job it is to look after your employer's relationship with this provider, and they could get involved to assist?

I'd also echo Stu's comments about CRUSE. They were very helpful to a relative of mine.

PS hope you don't mind my commenting on your post, and I wish you well in managing to deal with your loss. Loss of our loved ones hits us all differently, IMO there's no one way to handle it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy

Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service. That's maybe unfair as you suggest, I'm absolutely less tolerant of things atm.

I'm open to speaking, I don't particularly feel I need it yet but it's likely I'm just not recognising that. If its as successful as you suggest it might be, I'll give it a shot and see. My wife suggested earlier that being closed to it means it'll fail either way and as normal... she's right.

I'll drop you a PM in a bit if I have anything else I need to discuss. I'm currently waiting on another call back from them so I'll see how it goes.

Thanks again.

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

---

No worries mate, I quite understand how frustrating that must be, it's disappointing service and that must be offputting. It's ironic that your company is paying for this service. The non-profit organisation I work for is free and undertakes to put referrals through to counsellors in a set number of days and has to document that. It is audited too.

Good luck with everything. :aok:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by grunt

I hear you and I agree.

Sounds to me as though you have a fairly progressive employer (since they've been helpful and have these services available). In your position, I think I'd be speaking to my employer to let them know your feelings about the service that their contractor is providing. I expect they'll have someone whose job it is to look after your employer's relationship with this provider, and they could get involved to assist?

I'd also echo Stu's comments about CRUSE. They were very helpful to a relative of mine.

PS hope you don't mind my commenting on your post, and I wish you well in managing to deal with your loss. Loss of our loved ones hits us all differently, IMO there's no one way to handle it.

---

No issue at all mate. Thanks for reading.

I should have said I contacted cruse last week and they emailed me right away, but they have a 10 or 12 week lead time which isn't great because I want to go back to work.

You're right in that my employer has been excellent and I'll feed it back when I have my next meeting. I'm sure they'll be disappointed to hear about it.

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by stu in nottingham

No worries mate, I quite understand how frustrating that must be, it's disappointing service and that must be offputting. It's ironic that your company is paying for this service. The non-profit organisation I work for is free and undertakes to put referrals through to counsellors in a set number of days and has to document that. It is audited too.

Good luck with everything. :aok:

---

I've looked at a couple of services but I'm reluctant to go to a non profit etc and use a space someone who needs it could use, whilst my employer offers a third party they pay for.

I might end up being a solution for me and I'll make a donation or whatever to them.

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

World Suicide Prevention Day falls on 10th September.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that more than 700,000 people die due to suicide each year. For every suicide there are many more who attempt suicide or have suicidal thoughts. Suicidal behaviour profoundly impacts families and communities and remains a universal challenge with millions impacted. The reduction of suicide mortality is of global importance and a vital public health consideration.

World Suicide Prevention Day was established in 2003 by the International Association for Suicide Prevention in conjunction with the World Health Organisation. The 10th of September each year focuses attention on the issue, reduces stigma and raises awareness among organisations, government, and the public, giving a singular message that suicide can be prevented.

“Creating hope through action” is the theme for World Suicide Prevention Day from 2021 - 2023. This theme is a reminder that there is an alternative to suicide and aims to inspire confidence and light in all of us.


https://www.who.int/campaigns/world-...ntion-day/2022

https://www.iasp.info/wspd/

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay

Creating Hope Through Action.

I've been feeling a bit crap for a couple of weeks. I can always tell that I'm struggling when my OCD habits intensify, particularly hair pulling. Intrusive thoughts are a big problem. Luckily, I've been dealing with it all my life, so I know the drill by now regarding coping strategies.

I witnessed a very intense panic/anxiety attack today and I don’t think it’s something I would wish on anyone.

I was told that the guy was trying to stop drinking and it was related to that.

The noises he was making were of pure terror, and this is a big, scary looking guy.

There’s an interesting programme on Netflix about the tennis player Mardy Fish where he discusses some of his own mental health issues.

He got into the best physical shape of his life, his game improved accordingly and then the pressure that came with being the number 1 American tennis player at that time came crashing down on him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba

I've been feeling a bit crap for a couple of weeks. I can always tell that I'm struggling when my OCD habits intensify, particularly hair pulling. Intrusive thoughts are a big problem. Luckily, I've been dealing with it all my life, so I know the drill by now regarding coping strategies.

---

Sorry to hear mate but also pleased you know the script with what works for you in dealing with those feelings. It's different for every person of course but if there is anything you feel able to share for others' benefit, please do. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jones28

I witnessed a very intense panic/anxiety attack today and I don’t think it’s something I would wish on anyone.

I was told that the guy was trying to stop drinking and it was related to that.

The noises he was making were of pure terror, and this is a big, scary looking guy.

---

Reminds me of something I learned when first being trained in this stuff and it stuck in my mind. It's that at their very worst, people can actually feel like they're dying when they experience panic attacks. I hope the guy is okay.

Interesting study.

https://neurosciencenews.com/tob-depression-anxiety-21383/

My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞

---

Do you have someone to talk to?

If not,

PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK
0800 068 4 1 4 1
07 786 209697 (TEXT)
[email protected]
PAPYRUS-UK.ORG
CONFIDENTIAL SUPPORT FOR
UNDER-35S AT RISK OF SUICIDE
AND OTHERS WHO ARE
CONCERNED ABOUT THEM. OPEN
DAILY FROM 9AM–MIDNIGHT.


SAMARITANS
116 123 (FREEPHONE)

SAMARITANS ARE OPEN 24 / 7 FOR
ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO TALK.
YOU CAN VISIT SOME
SAMARITANS BRANCHES IN
PERSON.

SHOUT
85258 (TEXT SHOUT)
GIVEUSASHOUT.ORG
CONFIDENTIAL 24 / 7 TEXT SERVICE
OFFERING SUPPORT IF YOU ARE
IN CRISIS AND NEED IMMEDIATE
HELP.

STAY ALIVE
PREVENT-SUICIDE.ORG.UK
APP WITH HELP AND RESOURCES
FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL SUICIDAL
OR ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE
ELSE.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞

---

I'd advise calling samaratins or such 116 123. I personally think there's is not a chance he sends a nuke. If you are wanting to go to hibs St j next Friday, I'd defo meet for a pint before. I would happily boar you to tears talking about why I think he won't. Defo phone someone regardless please mate

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod

Do you have someone to talk to?

If not,

PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK
0800 068 4 1 4 1
07 786 209697 (TEXT)
[email protected]
PAPYRUS-UK.ORG
CONFIDENTIAL SUPPORT FOR
UNDER-35S AT RISK OF SUICIDE
AND OTHERS WHO ARE
CONCERNED ABOUT THEM. OPEN
DAILY FROM 9AM–MIDNIGHT.


SAMARITANS
116 123 (FREEPHONE)

SAMARITANS ARE OPEN 24 / 7 FOR
ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO TALK.
YOU CAN VISIT SOME
SAMARITANS BRANCHES IN
PERSON.

SHOUT
85258 (TEXT SHOUT)
GIVEUSASHOUT.ORG
CONFIDENTIAL 24 / 7 TEXT SERVICE
OFFERING SUPPORT IF YOU ARE
IN CRISIS AND NEED IMMEDIATE
HELP.

STAY ALIVE
PREVENT-SUICIDE.ORG.UK
APP WITH HELP AND RESOURCES
FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL SUICIDAL
OR ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE
ELSE.

---

Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though

---

:aok:

Take care of yourself..... the last word being the most important.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bridge hibs

Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though

---

That’s never nice, I really hope you’re feeling better soon. I have some experience with an anxiety disorder and just patiently controlling your breathing really is the first step to getting yourself grounded and dealing with everything else. Keep us posted :aok:

Thanks so much guys, really appreciate the support. Some really horrible and uncontrollable thoughts went through my head, havent experienced that before.

Apologies, Ive been ill for a wee while and that may have contributed. Ive taken a tablet and Im going to try and get a sleep