The Yamasaurus 1st Edition

The Four Stages of Yam Believer:

Cardiganed

We've lost ownership. We're locked in the boot of someone else's car and we don't know where we're going. We talk about the Docksiders.

Yellow Cardiganed

We've become a complete laughing stock. We've lost all our dignity and self respect. We're pretending that everyone else is against us and doesn't understand business like our saviour does. We think about what the beautiful people will be wearing this summer.

Rovered

We've lost the plot. Where did all the transfer money go? We're praying its all Hobonomics. We repeat 108 years to each other.

Mid Level Financial Services Managered

Every time we go for a drive we end up in Gretna. We nurse our deep, deep bitterness.

We are polishing our grille badges. We polish and we polish and we polish. They don't make Rovers any more.

Yamster Wheel

Designed like a huge hamster wheel capable of fitting all 400 000 yams inside.
The idea being that they all run as fast as they can.spinning the earth on it axes turning back time and making all this debt just go away

Yamstand - Immense structure of polished marble, soaring turrets and constructed as a result of just the bestest planning application ever, the Yamstand is reputedly capable of holding up to 400,000.

The Yamstand has ample storage room for the emperors new clothes.

Pick a meaning folks :greengrin

yambunctious -

adj. Boisterous and disorderly behaviour, normally within a 'piggery' following another ramming at the hands of your closest rivals reserve team.

Behaviour to include sprinting onto a pitch like a warrior, getting a slap from a ghost and skulking off after following through on yourself.

Yampost-

A long lanky more often dim instrument found in the middle of the street reechin of pish

Yamonthapitch - Finding oneself on a playing surface at a sports arena and behaving like a ned. Usually followed by legs giving way, falling over and getting carted off to the cells by the police while claiming a mythical injury

Yambisextrous - (adj) in the condition of being so fat and ugly that no one can tell whether the creature described is a man or a woman.

Yamlet - an early Elizabethan tragedy set in Lithuania, the eponymous hero of which spends much of his time in a state of acute indecision due to the non-arrival of a Yamfax (q.v.) from his father, King Vladimir. The action of the play centres upon the often-postponed destruction of Castle Swineswill, the stronghold of Duke Wallace the Smirker, and its replacement by a happy village of peasant dwellings overseen and protected by the nymph Cala. There is a grotesque comic character, Gruesome George the Gelatinous, who comments sycophantically upon the action in a series of drunken rants and demented slaverings.

"This Castle hath a sour and stinking stench;
Let me demolish it, and in its place
Erect a sweet and airy dwelling-place
For such as have much dosh. Flats shall I build,
Flat upon flat upreaching to the sky,
And none shall know that ever in this place
A noxious den once stood where trolls did once,
Repulsive and corrupted in their minds,
Mouth out their mindless murmurings, until
The world grew weary of them...."

Yommelette - a sacrificial offering (see Captain Caveman), an employee of HoMFC sacked to protect the position of Chairman Vlad, as in "You can't make a Yommelette without breaking their legs".

Yamgry - emotional state of high tension and fury. Caused by getting yer erse felt by local rivals in your own patch. Also brought on by lack of food coupled by a realisation of your own pishness.

e.g. Nade went for Chis as he was so Yamgry at not scoring, he realised he was pish, and he hadnae had a Big Mac for literally minutes.

Calyamity

Clever construct relating to the act of being felled with just the one punch by (a) a Hibs player, (b) a referee, or (c) nothing at all

"Phillips, the electrician, suffered a calyamity when invading the pitch"

The shock of suddenly finding yourself confronted by someone who isn't scared of you despite your fashionable hat then getting laid out on national TV by a referees whistle.

Sometimes used as a defence in legal proceedings. Tends to be more successful if you appear in court with a large damp stain in the crotch area.

Slyammer
A place where naughty yams are locked up.

Whambamthankyouyam
Traditional expression of gratitude after cell-mate has "introduced himself" to said naughty yam.

Yamseason - The tendency for a club known for fast, free-flowing passing football to have a season of hoofball but inexplicably take 8 points out of 12 against their local rivals. "I didn't buy a Hibs ST to be treated to a yamseason, but i'll take the derby points."

Yamoron

Typical definition of a yam, can also be used to describe someone who has the IQ equivalent to that of a glass of water

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JennaFletcher

Yamoron

Typical definition of a yam, can also be used to describe someone who has the IQ equivalent to that of a glass of water

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Ewan Yamoron - Real Radio presenter known for suffering HUMILIATION

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 2468

Ewan Yamoron - Real Radio presenter known for suffering HUMILIATION

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Yamiliation, surely?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 2468

Ewan Yamoron - Real Radio presenter known for suffering HUMILIATION

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A pedant writes:
He definitely spells his first name Ewen. Surname might be Yamoron or Yammeron - not sure. :dunno:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lapsedhibee

A pedant writes:
He definitely spells his first name Ewen. Surname might be Yamoron or Yammeron - not sure. :dunno:

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I think you'll find it is in fact spelled "T,O,O,L"

Yamazombie

A Hearts supporter who attends Tynecastle sitting near to the press box who resembles a member of the cast of Shaun of the Dead.

Yamirony

The inability of most Hearts supporters to fail to recognize irony even when it smacks them in the face. This manifests in any jokey comment made by the press regarding Hearts ar their supporters to be taken literally.

The response usually involves pompous 'open letters' [bound volumes if written by Shaun (of the dead) Lawson], threats to boycott the publishing stable concerned, references to the press council and the European Court of Human Rights.

For example see the comments about Yamazombie (qv).

International standard signing with value expected to rapidly rise at an exponential rate until the only player in the world worth more is Andy Driver.

Logarithyam

A mathematical proof which involves one team's attempts on goal exceeding those of their opponents by a factor of 14

Yaminchoate

Descriptive term which captures the state of a Yam at any given point where reality intrudes upon delusion.

eg the Wee Team signs players you would like but cannot afford, while you fail to sign any striker fitting the term despite the fact that all europe is currently awash with out of work footballers seeking clubs at cut price wages

For example: "Did you see (insert Yam fud name here) this morning? He was so upset about Lee Miller that he was completely Yaminchoate. That's the second time this week."

Yamonition

A belief/knowledge/premonition of something about to happen. See also FatJimKnew.

this is top class.

admin....do u have access any print facilities similar to the desktop calenders?
this would make a fantastic novelty gift in the form of a booklet:agree:

Yamagram.

A medical scan where the medical team scan a breast to confirm it definately supports Hearts.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by greenlex

Yamagram.

A medical scan where the medical team scan a breast to confirm it definately supports Hearts.

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No doubt, if this is done correctly, it will prove that at least 50% of Yams are right tits?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Filled Rolls

No doubt, if this is done correctly, it will prove that at least 50% of Yams are right tits?

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Yup with the others left ones. :agree:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by greenlex

Yup with the others left ones. :agree:

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Who says the NHS don't provide value for money? :dunno:

Stadiyam

A shiny new £51million building that cost many lithuanian pennies to plan, however will never become a reality.