Placement of children after both parents death.

Love my wife to bits, she’s a great wife and mother.

Her family however, I just don’t respect them after incident upon incident surrounding her older sister. She is from Ireland and my wife was over for her younger sister’s hen at the weekend and it was a disaster. Another significant incident perpetrated by the older sister.

I need to make sure that upon my death, my children don’t live over there. Three scenarios:

My wife passes away before me then I pass away - I need to legally make sure the kids go to my sister / family here in Scotland.

We both pass away at the same time - same as above.

The tricky one, I pass away with my wife surviving me, can I legally appoint my sister now as a guardian or legally register my objection to this being a scenario in terms of the kids moving to Ireland.

I know folk will want details re why I feel so strongly about this but I don’t want to elaborate. I’d appreciate if folk just trusted my judgement.

I think you can make an expression of wish in your Will but I’m not clear on the legal standing of it - as in if it can be over ruled.

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Originally Posted by Danderhall Hibs

I think you can make an expression of wish in your Will but I’m not clear on the legal standing of it - as in if it can be over ruled.

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I had a look online tonight and it is so difficult to find the information.

If your wife is in agreement then it should be fairly straightforward, if not then I think you might struggle with any scenario except your wife passing before you. I would imagine the other two scenarios would require both parents to agree.

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Originally Posted by EH6 Hibby

If your wife is in agreement then it should be fairly straightforward, if not then I think you might struggle with any scenario except your wife passing before you. I would imagine the other two scenarios would require both parents to agree.

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I think your wife being in agreement is probably the biggest impediment being sorted.

if you both feel the same way, I’d imagine this wish being expressed in your will(s) and presumably you speaking with your sister to make sure she also agrees and understands your wishes.

if your wide disagrees, I’d imagine it could be much more difficult. Perhaps a consultation with a lawyer can help give you some clear guidance and hopefully some peace of mind mate.

PS, I’m hoping whatever the outcome that it’s not something that ever needs to become a reality, and that you and your wife live long and happy lives watching your children grow up

Funnily enough we have been discussing this as well recently, we are waiting on a call back from a lawyer regarding our will so hopefully its a straight forward process

I’ve managed to get a hour consultation for free via my union which is great.

My wife seemed to essentially be in agreement when I brought it up although it did upset her so we agreed to speak about it again in a week or so. The weekend incident is fresh in her mind. Sadly more information came out in that discussion so I calmly explained why I don’t want our kids to see her sister at all now. My wife has told my mother in law.

I’m no legal expert, particularly not with child placement, but my feeling would be similar to the above.

I think if this proves to be the wishes of both of you, then you shouldn’t have too much bother - maybe just a few lawyer fees for them ‘processing’ and advising on it!

If your wife doesn’t agree with your sentiments and survives your death while the child is still… a child.. then I can’t see that you’ll have much clout at all unfortunately.

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Originally Posted by H18 SFR

I’ve managed to get a hour consultation for free via my union which is great.

My wife seemed to essentially be in agreement when I brought it up although it did upset her so we agreed to speak about it again in a week or so. The weekend incident is fresh in her mind. Sadly more information came out in that discussion so I calmly explained why I don’t want our kids to see her sister at all now. My wife has told my mother in law.

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It's probably too late now but it might have been better to couch it in positive terms: "we really need to plan for this just in case, how about my sister's family who are more local and would probably provide the best stability?". Rather than negative: "your witch of a sister is having nothing to do with our kids, period."

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Originally Posted by JeMeSouviens

It's probably too late now but it might have been better to couch it in positive terms: "we really need to plan for this just in case, how about my sister's family who are more local and would probably provide the best stability?". Rather than negative: "your witch of a sister is having nothing to do with our kids, period."

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I know. Good advice.