Some Light Relief - A Hearts Relegation poem

First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


The Unflushable Jobbie
(the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
A deserved relegation, for being inept.

At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
Value for money, very little was notched.

This season started, with few points gotten
But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
In his first few games, little points they would score
But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

That fateful night, a bitter pill
The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
A fact undoubted, clear and plain
St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
"All of you wee teams, had better beware
Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
Consideration was given and details duly noted
Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


AMEN

Outstanding :not worth :top marks

Brilliant !

William Mcgonagall is alive and well and a hibby to boot. :not worth

Best first post ever.

Brilliant! :top marks

If all your poems are of that standard keep 'em coming. :greengrin

Fantastic effort!!

There once was a team in maroon
who thought they were talk o the toon
but the vote it was taken
wee Anne she was shaken to find that they were going doon

Well done 👍

Tremendous reading, must have took you ages getting all that to rhyme

Brilliant!!



Sent from my POT-LX1 using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lochend 7062

First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


The Unflushable Jobbie
(the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
A deserved relegation, for being inept.

At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
Value for money, very little was notched.

This season started, with few points gotten
But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
In his first few games, little points they would score
But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

That fateful night, a bitter pill
The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
A fact undoubted, clear and plain
St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
"All of you wee teams, had better beware
Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
Consideration was given and details duly noted
Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


AMEN

---

A true bard sir.

Outstanding poem 😂😂👍👍

That Sir is sublime.👏👏😂😂

Thanks everyone for your positive feedback. It takes a wee while to pull it all together but well worth it when it’s appreciated.
Probably why you never hear of any millionaire poets.
🇳🇬👍

Brilliant just brilliant

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lochend 7062

First ever post by a lifelong Hibby.

To try to brighten the mood a little in these difficult times, I thought I'd put some thoughts on our neighbour's relegation into rhyme and share it.

Enjoy, stay safe and keep the faith. GGTTH


The Unflushable Jobbie
(the poetic tale of Hearts 2020 Relegation)

This is the story of the unflushable Jobbie
That became more annoying, than Mr Blobby
Seven weeks of nonsense, before they'accept'
A deserved relegation, for being inept.

At their perceived injustice, you have to laugh
The team, worst performing, for a year and a half
From 'winning the league by the middle of October'
To 'You can't send us down, when the league isn't over.'

Much greetin' 'n' moanin' 'n' gnashing of teeth
Rage at Edina's top team, over in Leith
It all started going wrong, when they sacked their Robbie
Because Hibs won the cup, a new Hearts manager lobby.

To cut a long story short, recruitment -disaster
Budge thought Levein, was a footballing master
Millions were spent, or more accurately, botched
Value for money, very little was notched.

This season started, with few points gotten
But Hibs were struggling, and St Johnstone were rotten
For dual-role Levein, there were very few passes
Dissent from the ranks, call for change from the masses.

Poor Craigie was sacked, but with plenty ado
Stendel appointed, their 'Jurgen Klopp 2'
In his first few games, little points they would score
But the masses had faith, so this fact did ignore.

Around the same time, the Hibees got Ross
And pulled up the league, ahead of the dross
Hearts won an odd game but the players were termed 'wooses.'
But '5-1, the Big Team' and injury excuses.

By March, last by one point, to Paisley,they headed
In the sporting gods hands, their hopes were wedded
A now famous Kickback post, confidently raved
'Beat St Mirren two - nil, and then by Covid, we're saved.'

That fateful night, a bitter pill
The Buddies ONE, the Jambos NIL
A fact undoubted, clear and plain
St Mirren had screwed their season, AGAIN.

Karma delivered, for those previously stiffed
Corona brought lockdown, with them 4 points adrift
"All of you wee teams, had better beware
Because we're big, hugely famous, and it just is'nae fair."

We had Dundee-gate & WhatsApp insider dealing
The Jobbie in the pan, Hearts supporters were feeling
After a farcical episode, the leagues were called
The Championship beckoned, for those black-balled.

A strong sense of entitlement, then abounds
No sense of irony, re their 'moral grounds'
Conniving, whining, wriggling like hell
To 'save' Scottish football and the SPFL.

Despite the press box at 'Tiny', being open and wet
Sportsound as biased, as it's possible to get
Not being able, to see the wood, from the trees
And pandering to the Jambos, so as Budgie to please.

But after numerous restructure proposals,were ditched
Threats of legal action, plus funding,were pitched
Consideration was given and details duly noted
Then sense prevailed and restructure outvoted.

SO, the unflushable Jobbie of the colour maroon
'Wheeched' through the plumbing, finally doon
Take yer 'maroon pound', to Inverness Caley
And finish off yer stand so don't dilly dally.


AMEN

---

Genius!

That is a brilliant poem. Thanks.:top marks

Well done - had a good chuckle at that.