The Yamasaurus 1st Edition

[Eyrie]

Dragyams Den - TV show in which a Lithuanian billionaire, a consortium of local businessmen, a group of former hoofballers and a fan's website compete for the cash in a child's piggy bank just over a month before Christmas.

[jacomo]

A unique, maroon-tinged ***** up. Eg: "First we lie to Robbo about what we need the money for to persuade him to front the whole thing, then we have to issue a clarification statement about our tax bills, now people are setting up rival funds left, right and centre and we can't even accept card payments! This share issue is an omniyambles."

Alt: A bloody mess.

[FranckSuzy]

Yamydia infection (from the Greek (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Ancient_Greek), χλαμύδα meaning "gullible") is a common sexually transmitted infection (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease) (STI) in humans caused by the bacterium Yamydia trachomatis (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Chlamydia_trachomatis). The term Yamydia infection can also refer to infection caused by any species (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Species) belonging to the bacterial family (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Family_(biology)) Yamydiaceae (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Chlamydiaceae). Y. trachomatis is found only in sub-humans.[1] (http://www.hibs.net/#cite_note-1) Yamydia is a major infectious cause of sub-human genital (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Genital) and eye disease (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Eye_disease). Yamydia infection is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections worldwide; usually caused by incest. It is estimated that about 400,000 individuals in the UK are infected with Yamydia.[2] (http://www.hibs.net/#cite_note-2)

[tbfhibs]

Yamydia infection (from the Greek (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Ancient_Greek), χλαμύδα meaning "gullible") is a common sexually transmitted infection (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease) (STI) in humans caused by the bacterium Yamydia trachomatis (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Chlamydia_trachomatis). The term Yamydia infection can also refer to infection caused by any species (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Species) belonging to the bacterial family (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Family_(biology)) Yamydiaceae (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Chlamydiaceae). Y. trachomatis is found only in sub-humans.[1] (http://www.hibs.net/#cite_note-1) Yamydia is a major infectious cause of sub-human genital (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Genital) and eye disease (http://www.hibs.net/wiki/Eye_disease). Yamydia infection is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections worldwide; usually caused by incest. It is estimated that about 400,000 individuals in the UK are infected with Yamydia.[2] (http://www.hibs.net/#cite_note-2). Brilliant

[PapillonVert]

Omniyambles

A complete and utter, unmitgated, 24-carat mess, whichever way you look at it. [with thanks to Malcolm Tucker].

[PapillonVert]

A unique, maroon-tinged ***** up. Eg: "First we lie to Robbo about what we need the money for to persuade him to front the whole thing, then we have to issue a clarification statement about our tax bills, now people are setting up rival funds left, right and centre and we can't even accept card payments! This share issue is an omniyambles."

Alt: A bloody mess.

Oops - you beat me to it! :thumbsup:

[le bill]

NOODLES YAMANOFF

1. Noodles Yamanoff - a pasta based dish with cream and cheese - particularly popular in gorgie land during the festive season of 2012 when cash was at a minimum and normal festive fare such as turkey and all the trimmings were outwith Yam budgets - this was primarily due to the clever scam perpetuated during November/Decemeber of same year by the Gangster, Noodles Yamanoff - see 2 below.......

2. Gangster Noodles Yamanoff, and his evil organization N.A.S.T.Y. (National Association of Sacrificing the Yams) duped 400,000 supporters of a local hoofball team into saving said pub team with false dreams of share ownership and slightly soiled calum elliot shirts.

Note:- not to be confused with the "Noodles Romanoff" of Roger Ramjet fame

[Phil D. Rolls]

Satchel - school bag.
Skacel - baw bag.

[on-the-level]

Yam K. Dons -; Made up team that plays in made up town
with lots of roundabouts and plastic cows

Yamird Lanark-; Defunked team from Yamickhshire

Yam Tarts-; Soon to be founded team formerly known
as Vlam Tarts, who will play 3rd div./Junior
football next season




P.S If you tolerate Vlad, then your Yam children will be Hibs:flag:

[Hibrandenburg]

Yammoth-creature that was formerly habitual in the west of Edinburgh area that was driven to extinction because of its inability to adapt and its walnut sized brain.

[Bostonhibby]

Yamlodyte

A simple cave dwelling creature that was initally thought to have been mythical until the year 2112 when archeologists excavating the site of the old Edinburgh West Poundland superstore discovered an unusually large skull with exceptionally thick bone density.

Further excavations revealed higher than normal asbestos samples and some ancient coins firmly gripped in one of what appeared to be three hands, each with 7 fingers. It is not known whether the coins were intended to be a gift for some visiting foreigner or as perhaps a sacrifice to an Idol or god they worshipped.

Initial skin sampling has revealed much thicker skin than normal but it is not clear whether this gave the creature any advantage in life or not. Experts suggest not given the speed of its disappearance from the planet.

Very little is known about this obscure creature now, but it has been suggested that it could be a distant relation of the Yammadon mentioned above. It is clear from analysis of DNA discovered when splitting open the fossil of a rather crudely made Fondant Fancy discovered close by that the creature once had an extraordinary ability to survive and procreate due to its ability to breed with anything including itself.

It is unclear how such an apparently successful entity could have come to an end. There are obscure scriptures written by a now unknown disciple, Bathgate, at the news journal formerly known as the Scotsman, they seem to suggest that they came to an end at the same time as the dinosaurs when the comet hit but that seems implausible as only their distant cousin the Hunbear failed to survive. This common factual link has led many to suggest that interbreeding amongst their own and across such similar species may have resulted in genetic deformity and ultimately their end. There are old photographs which tend to support this.

Far more likely is the theory that the density of the skull bone left little space for a functioning brain, or at least lacking the insight of other species they simply accepted all that they were told. Marine biologists working in Eastern Europe recently discovered an enormous amphibious creature thought to be of Lithuanian origin.

Latin name Vladus devourus It is thought that this normally fast super predator simply sunk to the bottom and drowned. Analysis of the stomach contents revealed a toxic combination of cheap cake mix, icing, childrens toys, asbestos and severed limbs bearing the very same seven fingered hands as the species discovered at the site.

[Eyrie]

Yamlodyte

A simple cave dwelling creature that was initally thought to have been mythical until the year 2112 when archeologists excavating the site of the old Edinburgh West Poundland superstore discovered an unusually large skull with exceptionally thick bone density.

Further excavations revealed higher than normal asbestos samples and some ancient coins firmly gripped in one of what appeared to be three hands, each with 7 fingers. It is not known whether the coins were intended to be a gift for some visiting foreigner or as perhaps a sacrifice to an Idol or god they worshipped.

Initial skin sampling has revealed much thicker skin than normal but it is not clear whether this gave the creature any advantage in life or not. Experts suggest not given the speed of its disappearance from the planet.

Very little is known about this obscure creature now, but it has been suggested that it could be a distant relation of the Yammadon mentioned above. It is clear from analysis of DNA discovered when splitting open the fossil of a rather crudely made Fondant Fancy discovered close by that the creature once had an extraordinary ability to survive and procreate due to its ability to breed with anything including itself.

It is unclear how such an apparently successful entity could have come to an end. There are obscure scriptures written by a now unknown disciple, Bathgate, at the news journal formerly known as the Scotsman, they seem to suggest that they came to an end at the same time as the dinosaurs when the comet hit but that seems implausible as only their distant cousin the Hunbear failed to survive. This common factual link has led many to suggest that interbreeding amongst their own and across such similar species may have resulted in genetic deformity and ultimately their end. There are old photographs which tend to support this.

Far more likely is the theory that the density of the skull bone left little space for a functioning brain, or at least lacking the insight of other species they simply accepted all that they were told. Marine biologists working in Eastern Europe recently discovered an enormous amphibious creature thought to be of Lithuanian origin.

Latin name Vladus devourus It is thought that this normally fast super predator simply sunk to the bottom and drowned. Analysis of the stomach contents revealed a toxic combination of cheap cake mix, icing, childrens toys, asbestos and severed limbs bearing the very same seven fingered hands as the species discovered at the site.

:top marks

[Golden Bear]

Yamlodyte

A simple cave dwelling creature that was initally thought to have been mythical until the year 2112 when archeologists excavating the site of the old Edinburgh West Poundland superstore discovered an unusually large skull with exceptionally thick bone density.

Further excavations revealed higher than normal asbestos samples and some ancient coins firmly gripped in one of what appeared to be three hands, each with 7 fingers. It is not known whether the coins were intended to be a gift for some visiting foreigner or as perhaps a sacrifice to an Idol or god they worshipped.

Initial skin sampling has revealed much thicker skin than normal but it is not clear whether this gave the creature any advantage in life or not. Experts suggest not given the speed of its disappearance from the planet.

Very little is known about this obscure creature now, but it has been suggested that it could be a distant relation of the Yammadon mentioned above. It is clear from analysis of DNA discovered when splitting open the fossil of a rather crudely made Fondant Fancy discovered close by that the creature once had an extraordinary ability to survive and procreate due to its ability to breed with anything including itself.

It is unclear how such an apparently successful entity could have come to an end. There are obscure scriptures written by a now unknown disciple, Bathgate, at the news journal formerly known as the Scotsman, they seem to suggest that they came to an end at the same time as the dinosaurs when the comet hit but that seems implausible as only their distant cousin the Hunbear failed to survive. This common factual link has led many to suggest that interbreeding amongst their own and across such similar species may have resulted in genetic deformity and ultimately their end. There are old photographs which tend to support this.

Far more likely is the theory that the density of the skull bone left little space for a functioning brain, or at least lacking the insight of other species they simply accepted all that they were told. Marine biologists working in Eastern Europe recently discovered an enormous amphibious creature thought to be of Lithuanian origin.

Latin name Vladus devourus It is thought that this normally fast super predator simply sunk to the bottom and drowned. Analysis of the stomach contents revealed a toxic combination of cheap cake mix, icing, childrens toys, asbestos and severed limbs bearing the very same seven fingered hands as the species discovered at the site.

:hilarious

Excellent, absolutely excellent.

[Bostonhibby]

:hilarious

Excellent, absolutely excellent.

To be honest I had 6 hours in the car on the way home last night to think about it :greengrin

[hibs0666]

iyam: Chat-up line commonly heard in the west of Edinburgh.

[Treadstone]

Succulent Yam (underling, dogsbody, subordinate)

noun
1. a journalist unwilling to ask a meaningful question
2. a person who believes without foundation any comment
3. a subordinate, especially one of slight importance.

Origin:
hibs.net (credit The Green Goblin); Middle English. See roaster.

Use:
See that Barry Anderson he is a succulent yam.

Synonyms
menial, flunky, lackey, hireling.

[jacomo]

Succulent Yam (underling, dogsbody, subordinate)

noun
1. a journalist unwilling to ask a meaningful question
2. a person who believes without foundation any comment
3. a subordinate, especially one of slight importance.

Origin:
hibs.net (credit The Green Goblin); Middle English. See roaster.

Use:
See that Barry Anderson he is a succulent yam.

Synonyms
menial, flunky, lackey, hireling.





:thumbsup:

Best applied to any Yam who not only believes, but is willing to proclaim their beliefs to as many people as possible, so as to persuade any doubters to stop asking awkward questions.

[Swedish hibee]

Happy to see this thread bumped up to where it should be... This is why I log on to Hibs net to chuckle & read about Hibs, not to listen to morons justify why violence is ok! (FYI it is never ok)

Well done jacomoseven for bringing this back :not worth

[Phil D. Rolls]

Omar Khayam: Despotic ruler of a once great empire.

[FranckSuzy]

Bump :greengrin

[TrickyNicky]

Yampagne

The drink of choice by those with Hibs class.

It's sweet tasting, sparkling beverage is produced from sour grapes fermented up in Gorgi.

Yampagne - vintage year 2013.

[IWasThere2016]

Yamlodyte

A simple cave dwelling creature that was initally thought to have been mythical until the year 2112 when archeologists excavating the site of the old Edinburgh West Poundland superstore discovered an unusually large skull with exceptionally thick bone density.

Further excavations revealed higher than normal asbestos samples and some ancient coins firmly gripped in one of what appeared to be three hands, each with 7 fingers. It is not known whether the coins were intended to be a gift for some visiting foreigner or as perhaps a sacrifice to an Idol or god they worshipped.

Initial skin sampling has revealed much thicker skin than normal but it is not clear whether this gave the creature any advantage in life or not. Experts suggest not given the speed of its disappearance from the planet.

Very little is known about this obscure creature now, but it has been suggested that it could be a distant relation of the Yammadon mentioned above. It is clear from analysis of DNA discovered when splitting open the fossil of a rather crudely made Fondant Fancy discovered close by that the creature once had an extraordinary ability to survive and procreate due to its ability to breed with anything including itself.

It is unclear how such an apparently successful entity could have come to an end. There are obscure scriptures written by a now unknown disciple, Bathgate, at the news journal formerly known as the Scotsman, they seem to suggest that they came to an end at the same time as the dinosaurs when the comet hit but that seems implausible as only their distant cousin the Hunbear failed to survive. This common factual link has led many to suggest that interbreeding amongst their own and across such similar species may have resulted in genetic deformity and ultimately their end. There are old photographs which tend to support this.

Far more likely is the theory that the density of the skull bone left little space for a functioning brain, or at least lacking the insight of other species they simply accepted all that they were told. Marine biologists working in Eastern Europe recently discovered an enormous amphibious creature thought to be of Lithuanian origin.

Latin name Vladus devourus It is thought that this normally fast super predator simply sunk to the bottom and drowned. Analysis of the stomach contents revealed a toxic combination of cheap cake mix, icing, childrens toys, asbestos and severed limbs bearing the very same seven fingered hands as the species discovered at the site.

Soooperb! :faf:

[TrickyNicky]

Yamlodyte

A simple cave dwelling creature that was initally thought to have been mythical until the year 2112 when archeologists excavating the site of the old Edinburgh West Poundland superstore discovered an unusually large skull with exceptionally thick bone density.

Further excavations revealed higher than normal asbestos samples and some ancient coins firmly gripped in one of what appeared to be three hands, each with 7 fingers. It is not known whether the coins were intended to be a gift for some visiting foreigner or as perhaps a sacrifice to an Idol or god they worshipped.

Initial skin sampling has revealed much thicker skin than normal but it is not clear whether this gave the creature any advantage in life or not. Experts suggest not given the speed of its disappearance from the planet.

Very little is known about this obscure creature now, but it has been suggested that it could be a distant relation of the Yammadon mentioned above. It is clear from analysis of DNA discovered when splitting open the fossil of a rather crudely made Fondant Fancy discovered close by that the creature once had an extraordinary ability to survive and procreate due to its ability to breed with anything including itself.

It is unclear how such an apparently successful entity could have come to an end. There are obscure scriptures written by a now unknown disciple, Bathgate, at the news journal formerly known as the Scotsman, they seem to suggest that they came to an end at the same time as the dinosaurs when the comet hit but that seems implausible as only their distant cousin the Hunbear failed to survive. This common factual link has led many to suggest that interbreeding amongst their own and across such similar species may have resulted in genetic deformity and ultimately their end. There are old photographs which tend to support this.

Far more likely is the theory that the density of the skull bone left little space for a functioning brain, or at least lacking the insight of other species they simply accepted all that they were told. Marine biologists working in Eastern Europe recently discovered an enormous amphibious creature thought to be of Lithuanian origin.

Latin name Vladus devourus It is thought that this normally fast super predator simply sunk to the bottom and drowned. Analysis of the stomach contents revealed a toxic combination of cheap cake mix, icing, childrens toys, asbestos and severed limbs bearing the very same seven fingered hands as the species discovered at the site.


:faf::faf:

[Treadstone]

Kickback Bluster (an assertion without foundation)

noun
1. refuting a story by proclaiming a best case scenario
2. offering a yearning as fact
3. brazenly side stepping details so as not to destroy their argument

Origin:
hibs.net (credit Part/Time Supporter); Middle English.

Use:
"We could walk away debt free" is Kickback Bluster

[TrickyNicky]

yambunctious - adjective: The opposite of rambunctious.

An unruly class of people that turn out be easy to control and handle.

" That yambunctious little sod just walked up to the cake-stall and gave all of his pocket money to that lovely man in an 80's Hearts shell-suit" !

[Twa Cairpets]

A mystical Lithuanian figure who is a the ying to St Nicks' yang

This entity goes round to the houses of children and relieves them of all their Christmas money and presents for no visible return.

[FranckSuzy]

Yamorrhoids - pitiful, swollen erseholes, sitting in the lower part of the league. They often go unnoticed and usually clear off after a few days, but can cause
long-lasting discomfort, odour and be excruciatingly embarrassing. Effective euthanasia is available, however.

[Treadstone]

All is Barry (phrase : spin, propaganda, manipulative)

Meaning
dire predicament advanced as positive hogwash

Origin:
Edinburgh Evening News, Twitter (credit Barry Anderson,@BarryAnderson_8); Middle English.

Use:
Event : "Tynecastle demolished"

All is Barry : "Tynecastle ready for re-development"

[TrickyNicky]

Barrymetric Pressure

Barrymetric pressure is measured by the amount of downward force that Romanov exerts per Hearts fan at Tynecastle.
This reading is taken by an All is Barrymeter.

[Speedway]

Yamoney! Gieusyamoney! (Skint Eastwood, Desperation)

The HoMoFC board of director's version of mayday! mayday! in their latest attempt to have their supporters shore up some of the grossest mismanagement ever seen in Scottish Football history.

[One Day Soon]

YAMAGEDDON

It's here Fuds, deal with it.

The End.

FACT

[brydekirk]

Yamistration - clear all debt and start again, #allisbarry

[Eyrie]

Heart of Midlothian Football Club

More commonly known as Hearts, they were a Scottish professional football club based in Gorgie in the west of Edinburgh from 1874 until liquidation in 2013. Home matches were played at Tynecastle Stadium from 1886 until 2013, when following the club's demise a branch of Tescos was opened on the site. Russian-Lithuanian businessman and banker Vladimir Romanov was the last owner of Hearts and largely responsible for the overspending which led to their demise.

[Woody70x2]

Yamended; a slow and painful death

[snooky]

Yamagmite
Found in caves - always points up. Formed by a steady succession of drips.

Yamagtite
Found in same caves - always pointing down. Same as Yamamite but correctly aims in the direction it's heading.

[hibs0666]

Yambuggered: A dawning realisation of long, slow and lingering decline.

[snooky]

Vietyam - giving a Churchill salute to a Merrickvillian

[Dunderhall]

Glockenspiel - Current yam manager talking pish.

[One Day Soon]

Glock Pistol

You'd think it would be a gun...

...rather than a sexual preference.

[Moon unit]

Land-Locked, when a Yammish manager realises that he has no where to go, No one to turn to and hasn't got 2 shackles to rub together!...his goose is cooked, he's up to his neck in pash!....etc!:greengrin

[JohnStephens91]

Beggar-teur: the act of taking money off of an amateur football side and robbing them of funds they need for survival.

[Dashing Bob S]

'Virtually debt free and second biggest transfer budget in the SPL.' - this is a rallying call for Yamkind (population estimated at between 5,000 and 400,000) replacing 'we only owe it to ourselves.'

It can mean various things from 'owner on run from authorities' 'owe 25 million pounds' 'can't pay wages' 'mass redundancies' 'cake sales' 'administration' 'no buyers' 'liquidation' 'playing in lower leagues' 'homelessness' and 'extinction'.

[HiBremian]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23212493

Jzombos - post-2013 Hearts supporters; ref: Zombie Yams; origs: Eastern Europe.

[Twa Cairpets]

"yamazing supporters"

Hearts fans with a cake dish or access to face paint.

[snooky]

Yam an' eggs = the possibility of moving to Murrayfield and changing sport

Yamusement Park = PBS

[Dunderhall]

Yamification:
A development or consequence growing out of and sometimes complicating a problem, plan, or statement: the ramifications of a court decision.

Synonym - #allisverycomplex.

[hibs0666]

Yarm in yarm: A 10,000 person human cord that designed to prevent HMFC being liquidated and Tynecastle demolished.

[StevesFamau5]

Not sure if this has been done. Yam Aid, a concert at the wongadome presented by king yam Rudolph Skacel who will bring the famous 5-1 band to perform the new anthem "never let them forget" all proceeds will go to the development of Tynecastle flats.. Flats for the man who has nothing but still wants SARS

[jacomo]

1. Source of income that provides a bigger budget and insulates a company from financial difficulty. #insafehands #weoweittoourselves #allisbarry

2. Morally and legally dubious source of foreign cash that corrupts an organisation completely and puts its very existence at risk. #allisverycomplex

Ex. (Hobo-friendly example) "I've got a positive funding arrangement with my dealer - unless I find £300 for him by tonight he's gonna break my ******* legs."

Source: http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20091215/in-safe-hands-fedotovas_2241384_1902130

Credit: steakbake

[Treadstone]

1. Source of income that provides a bigger budget and insulates a company from financial difficulty. #insafehands #weoweittoourselves #allisbarry

2. Morally and legally dubious source of foreign cash that corrupts an organisation completely and puts its very existence at risk. #allisverycomplex

Ex. (Hobo-friendly example) "I've got a positive funding arrangement with my dealer - unless I find £300 for him by tonight he's gonna break my ******* legs."

Source: http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20091215/in-safe-hands-fedotovas_2241384_1902130

Credit: stakebake

:applause: Excellent stuff .

[steakbake]

1. Source of income that provides a bigger budget and insulates a company from financial difficulty. #insafehands #weoweittoourselves #allisbarry

2. Morally and legally dubious source of foreign cash that corrupts an organisation completely and puts its very existence at risk. #allisverycomplex

Ex. (Hobo-friendly example) "I've got a positive funding arrangement with my dealer - unless I find £300 for him by tonight he's gonna break my ******* legs."

Source: http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20091215/in-safe-hands-fedotovas_2241384_1902130

Credit: stakebake

Kind of you - many thanks.

[jacomo]

Kind of you - many thanks.

Even though I misspelt your name?? Will amend now. :greengrin

[Bostonhibby]

Yam Pee

Like an MP, or Member of Parliament - elected to represent all of the members of a parliamentary constituency in all of the matters where their interests might be affected.

After election as an MP the Yam Pee quickly converts to using their position to look after their own personal hobbies and interests whilst still enjoying the salary, expenses and privileges of the actual MP role they were elected to do.

[Phil D. Rolls]

Yambledon : minor tournament in the world of tennis, which no Jambo has ever stooped to enter, let alone win. AKA "the wee major" . (See also US Open, and other tournaments on the Wee Tennis Tour.)

Not to be confused with the Craiglockhart and District Open Championship, which was recently watched by a gallery of Yam fuss from Sport and Showbusiness. Sir Cliff Richard ( via eMail), Stephen Hendrys best pal from primary school, Sean Connery (full sized picture) and Ronnie Corbett ( seen talking to the producer about stringing tennis racquets).

Forever in their shadows, 1-5, 1902, hobos, slum dwellers, non establishment, etc.

[jacomo]

Yam Pee

Like an MP, or Member of Parliament - elected to represent all of the members of a parliamentary constituency in all of the matters where their interests might be affected.

After election as an MP the Yam Pee quickly converts to using their position to look after their own personal hobbies and interests whilst still enjoying the salary, expenses and privileges of the actual MP role they were elected to do.

Not to be confused with Lord of the Yams - also a holder of political office, but of impaired judgement and bodily function due to general jakeyness. Worse than useless.

[jacomo]

Yambledon : minor tournament in the world of tennis, which no Jambo has ever stooped to enter, let alone win. AKA "the wee major" . (See also US Open, and other tournaments on the Wee Tennis Tour.)

Not to be confused with the Craiglockhart and District Open Championship, which was recently watched by a gallery of Yam fuss from Sport and Showbusiness. Sir Cliff Richard ( via eMail), Stephen Hendrys best pal from primary school, Sean Connery (full sized picture) and Ronnie Corbett ( seen talking to the producer about stringing tennis racquets).

Forever in their shadows, 1-5, 1902, hobos, slum dwellers, non establishment, etc.

:top marks

[Eyrie]

Yamnation of Faust - A modern take on the classic opera by Berlioz, in which an over-ambitious hoofball team willingly sells its soul to Mephistromanov in exchange for promises of football glory (featuring the "Big Team Overture"). The two combine to seduce the team's loyal fans with the famous "Champions League Duet", before deceiving them into robbing children of their piggy banks and Christmas presents (the "Share Scam Chorus"). Mephistromanov then makes off with the proceeds and abandons the hoofball team to administration. Despite the desperate efforts of the loyal fans (the heartbreaking "Cake Bake Aria") liquidation soon follows* and the theatre is converted to flats.










*Because you've got to have a happy ending :greengrin

[Moon unit]

Yambleside...lazy, meandering, quaint, rundown, overpriced home of cottagers!..:greengrin

[Speedway]

Yamily Fortunes

The new HTV game show hosted by Vernon Gay.

In the first episode we welcome the Romanov Family

Vladimir - Hiding Under The Desk
Gladysmir - His wife and sister
I-is-hir - His son and sister
Rodney - His son and uncle
Dave - The suspiciously non-Lithuanian looking one.

Then we have the Hartley family

Paul - The Matriarch
Julian - Paul's 'friend'
Sebastian - Paul's 'friend'
Adrian - Paul's 'friend'
Golden Gary - Paul's 'Service Provider'

First question:

We asked 100 people of sound mind, will the Yams stay up next season?

*Paul hits the buzzer*

Vernon: Paul!

Paul: Yes!

Vernon: If that answer's up there, I'll give you the money myself. Our survey said:

URRGGHH UUURRRRRGHGHGGGHGGHGH

[Jack]

Pegabacus. noun. A three or four arm rotory calculator sometimes seen in gardens misused for drying clothes. Similar to the Greek abacus pegs slide from side to side to make complex calculations. The beauty of a pegabacus is that three or four hoboconomists can work on the same calculation at the same time ensuring absolute accuracy.

Funny thing is is that this would actually work :-)

[One Day Soon]

Bump

YamMerry Christmas Requiem

It was christmas eve babe
In the CVA tank
An old Yam said to me: won't see another one
And then they sang a song
The rare old Romanov
You turned your face away and dreamed about BDO
Got on an unlucky one
Came in seven to none
I´ve got a feeling
This year´s F***** for you
So happy christmas
I love you Vlady
I can see a Bigger Team
Did all the bills get paid?

They got world cup stars
They got Lith banks full of gold
But HMRC goes right through you
It´s a place full of fools
When you first took my shares on a cold christmas eve
You promised Champions League was waiting for me
You were Walter you were Mitty
Joke of Edinburgh city when the bank finished paying they yelled out for more
Nade was swinging all the Yam mugs they were paying
No pot to piss on a corner
Then closed overnight.

And the boys from the Hibee choir were singing on New Year's Day
And the bells were ringing out for Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.

You´re a Yam you´re a punk
You´re stadium's all junk
Lying there almost dead on a financial drip in that bed
You tax dodging maggot
You charity robbing faggot
Happy christmas your arse we know it´s your last.

And the boys of the Hibee choir's still singing every New Year's Day
And the bells ring out
For Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.

We could have been a Big Team
Well so could Gretna
Vlad took my savings from me
After Robinson
He kept them with him Merricks
He put them with his own
Can´t beat relegation
You´ve built your dreams on lies

And the boys of the Hibee choir's still singing every New Year's Day
And the bells ring out
For Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.

[Ronniekirk]

Bump

YamMerry Christmas Requiem

It was christmas eve babe
In the CVA tank
An old Yam said to me: won't see another one
And then they sang a song
The rare old Romanov
You turned your face away and dreamed about BDO
Got on an unlucky one
Came in seven to none
I´ve got a feeling
This year´s F***** for you
So happy christmas
I love you Vlady
I can see a Bigger Team
Did all the bills get paid?

They got world cup stars
They got Lith banks full of gold
But HMRC goes right through you
It´s a place full of fools
When you first took my shares on a cold christmas eve
You promised Champions League was waiting for me
You were Walter you were Mitty
Joke of Edinburgh city when the bank finished paying they yelled out for more
Nade was swinging all the Yam mugs they were paying
No pot to piss on a corner
Then closed overnight.

And the boys from the Hibee choir were singing on New Year's Day
And the bells were ringing out for Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.

You´re a Yam you´re a punk
You´re stadium's all junk
Lying there almost dead on a financial drip in that bed
You tax dodging maggot
You charity robbing faggot
Happy christmas your arse we know it´s your last.

And the boys of the Hibee choir's still singing every New Year's Day
And the bells ring out
For Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.

We could have been a Big Team
Well so could Gretna
Vlad took my savings from me
After Robinson
He kept them with him Merricks
He put them with his own
Can´t beat relegation
You´ve built your dreams on lies

And the boys of the Hibee choir's still singing every New Year's Day
And the bells ring out
For Pat Stanton and Frank Sauzee.
EXElLENT Can Hibs.Net not arrange for a group with Hibs connections to quickly record this We can all download it and push it to No 1 for X mass .How good would that be yams being able to hear it on the radio and play it over Tammy at the Derby game 2nd January . :dj::dj::music:

[Twa Cairpets]

The clinging vestiges of hope held on to by the insufferable in the desperate desire for the improbable

It's ok Craigie, we've a CVYam agreed in principle so that means we're the big team still and 5-1 and Mr Romanov and, and , and....

Nice work ODS by the way...

[Dan Sarf]

[QUOTE=Eyrie;3676338]Yamnation of Faust - A modern take on the classic opera by Berlioz, in which an over-ambitious hoofball team willingly sells its soul to Mephistromanov in exchange for promises of football glory (featuring the "Big Team Overture"). The two combine to seduce the team's loyal fans with the famous "Champions League Duet", before deceiving them into robbing children of their piggy banks and Christmas presents (the "Share Scam Chorus"). Mephistromanov then makes off with the proceeds and abandons the hoofball team to administration. Despite the desperate efforts of the loyal fans (the heartbreaking "Cake Bake Aria") liquidation soon follows* and the theatre is converted to flats.

Superb! :top marks

[MyJo]

Yaministration - The long drawn out process of trying to save a football club after living way beyond thier means for several years without the good concience or sense to notice they were being royally shafted by a mental submarine driver.

Yaministrator - Chief bloodsucker responsible for bleeding the 400,000 dry of all money during Yaministration on the pretence that the football club is not f***ed.

Yam-Grinch - (See Yaminstrator) Spoiler of christmas for mill....err.....thou.....eh....hund.....hmmm.....l iterally dozens of poor little kids.

[jacomo]

I Yam MP

baby-faced elected Member of Parliament and would-be saviour of the Yams. Wears a dark suit and serious expression to fool people into thinking his Foundation of Hearts has a hope of pulling their unlikely rescue plan off. Fools 400,000 people.

[Phil D. Rolls]

Budg-et

Unspecified sum used for the purchase of an unknown item.

[Dashing Bob S]

CVA agreement - a process by which all parties except the ones who have frozen the shares (the Lithuanian Courts) agree that the shares should be transferred. All the other parties also agree never to mention the existence of the party who has frozen the shares or why they have done this.

Rubber stamp - literally what it says, a stamp made out of rubber which bangs a seal on a piece of paper transferring the above CVA agreement to a CVA completion. But part of the above CVA agreement is to agree never to talk about who holds the rubber stamp and when they will issue it.

[Twa Cairpets]

"Doing a Stevo" - The act of committing a premature high five.
"Doing a Hamill" - The act of prancing about like a stumpy armed dwarf in stilleto's for no discernible output.
"Doing a Rudi" - A apparently non-existent act committed by a Hibs Gang/Fan/Tim on George Street.

[One Day Soon]

Cathrostrophic

The effect of an experience so traumatising that even shamelessly deluded Rover drivers are forced to stop polishing their grille badges and start to dimly perceive the harsh truth of financial reality.

"That Scottish Cup derby defeat last night was so Cathrostrophic that I'm beginning to think that maybe after all we're not......you know......big.'

[Northernhibee]

Cathroverspending


Rather than signing up the likes of world cup stars that actually improve the team on lucrative long term contracts, Cathroverspending is the act of signing up the likes of Martin on lucrative long term contracts who are utterly ****ing pony and will just sit on the bench.

"We've Cathroverspent on the latest bunch of journeymen so we can't afford bog roll or handwash for the public toilets again"

[jacomo]

Cathrostrophic

The effect of an experience so traumatising that even shamelessly deluded Rover drivers are forced to stop polishing their grille badges and start to dimly perceive the harsh truth of financial reality.

"That Scottish Cup derby defeat last night was so Cathrostrophic that I'm beginning to think that maybe after all we're not......you know......big.'

Brilliant.

[Kavinho]

Cathrartic: the act of playing football in a dazed and confused half asleep, comatosed non caring fashion

"That performance last night was so woefully Cathrartic, They management team had absolutely no idea of how to stop the rampaging Mighty Hibees, best revert to default halfarsed brain dead lumpkicking and diving

[Jones28]

Cathrolisism

Staunch and un-yielding belief that Ian Cathro is a football genius

[Jim44]

Cathronogenic - having the capacity to inflict painful and terminal harm to unsuspecting and deluded football clubs.

[Northernhibee]

Cathroflcopter

Slang term used to describe how hilarious Hearts are under Cathro

And they thought they were going to win 4-0 on Kickback! Cathroflcopter​

[wookie70]

Cathrotonic
adjective

To be struck into an immobile or unresponsive stupor when confronted with 11 green jerseys. Assossiated with the shorted lived Manager of Heart of Midlothian between Dec 2016 and Feb 2017.

[lyonhibs]

A Cathroclysm - The brutal and terrifying amount of damage done to the inflated egos and deluded souls of your average Yamosapien after yet another dry humping by your bitter rivals.

[jacomo]

Cathy come home

1. Seminal drama made by Ken Loach in the 1960s

2. Plea made by a worried mother last night, concerned that her child was in a hostile environment and out of their depth.

[Wee Effen Bee]

Cathropia: noun
The inability to see how bad or ineffective a recruit is despite everyone else acknowledging the obvious.

[wookie70]

Cathroters
Noun

tubular instrument used by Heart of Midlothian footballers to save embarrassment when they piss themselves at the mere mention of a Derby match against their Scottish Cup holding neighbours.

[AltheHibby]

Cathroters
Noun

tubular instrument used by Heart of Midlothian footballers to save embarrassment when they piss themselves at the mere mention of a Derby match against their Scottish Cup holding neighbours.

Close the thread now. That's the winner.
😁

[Dashing Bob S]

Cathro Nine Tales

A device used for flogging a dead yam side to the media. Famed for its multiplicity of excuses.

[wookie70]

Cathrologing
p. pr. & vb. n. - of Cathrologue

To nervously write notes to players with the intention of looking like you know what you are doing. The notes are typically written in binary but even when translated they are undecipherable pigeon English.

[Jim44]

cath(r)ode ray tube

noun:

a high-vacuum tube ( how appropriate) in which cath(r)ode rays produce a luminous image on a maroon screen, used in televisions and computer terminals........... especially laptops.

[One Day Soon]

Lycathropy

The process by which an individual appearing to be a football manager transforms before your eyes into a slavering creature disposed to howling at the moon in post match interviews.

[The_Exile]

Cathromnia

Used to describe the condition whereby an individual finds themselves unable to sleep due to experiencing their famous team getting spanked and sent home by their Scottish Cup Holding neighbours.

Example: "Ah stull cannae sleep efter that pumping frae the Hubs, the doc says it's Cathromnia, hopefully it passes as ah'm takin' mah sister oot oan a date oan Friday and ah need tae buld up mah enuhrgy"

[21.05.2016]

Cathroda - The inability to string words together properly in a sentence. To come across as a bumbling, illiterate fool

Example - draw we did, beat them again we need to

[Jim44]

Cathrodent - ratlike/mouselike (usually in Derby matches) member of the genus Cathro, commonly but not exclusively, found in western districts of Edinburgh.

[HiBremian]

Cathrows 95.

Failed computer operating system. Also known as BYOD (Blue Yam of Death).


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[One Day Soon]

Cathroectomy

A form of organ transplant in which the heart is removed from the body. It is not replaced.

[snooky]

A-La-Cathro

A performance of football players who play as individuals instead of as a team.
You also get exactly what you pay for.

[Scouse Hibee]

Cathrow: The state of believing fictional and aminated production is real life.

Symptoms Include:


Living your actual life as if you are playing a computer game

Talking like a cartoon character

Believing your online game status represents your real life abilities

Believing quantity is better than quality

[Springbank]

ISMA

1) noun: journeyman forward who perfected the art of scoring after a penalty AND initial rebound had both been saved (thereby boosting the "shots on target" stat so beloved of the Cathro...see above)

2) verb: a horrified and often high pitch noise, seeking pastures new to a "better club" (initial copyright A. Djoum)
Example: "ISMA agent there, I need OUT"

[snooky]

Scathroom - The smallest room in the house. Where you go for a .....

[jgl07]

The Wee Cup.

Any competition which has not been won by the Yams for over 50 years.

[007]

Cathrowing Machine - Great at training but can make you think you are better than you really are. When it comes to the real event you'll discover that all along you've been going nowhere.

[Jim44]

Cathrology - the meaningless study of poor and essentially inarticulate football managers.

[ArmadaleHibs]

CATHROMETER

Used to measure how much abuse a person can take from there own support


CATHROACH

Small soft shelled insect usually found crying after so called smaller bugs have once again put it in its place.


CATHROM

A computer storage device that holds data permanently but cannot be changed or altered. Oh dear, your FU£*ED then Mr. Cathro

[fiolex1]

Catheter: Really does take the pisss!

[snooky]

Cathrometics :

Existing squad + new players = 3 - 1

[Hibbyradge]

Cathrolicon (n)

[kuh-throl-i-kuh n]

A well researched and highly regarded panacea for all yam ails which does not work.

[hibby6270]

Cathroine Wheel - Promises a sparkling display (fireworks) but more often than not turns out to be a damp squib.

[fiolex1]

Cathros-a-Clown: Classic Everly Brothers track about a clueless manager

[fiolex1]

Cathro loves the Brown: e.g Cleaning out a Budges cage

[snooky]

Cathro Come Home.
Tragic story of a high-flying team who lost everything and resorted to stealing to survive.

[GreenLake]

Cathroid - A football team that is entirely lacking or free of form.

Scathrological - football relating to or characterized by an interest in excrement.

[Deansy]

Cathrohorrea - the condition (affects only players, manager, supporters and board at the PBS) of having at least three loose or liquid bowel movements (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowel_movement) before, during and after modern-day derby-games. The condition also affects them vocally.

Causes - gradually realising that after 30+ years of 'Finance Football'' things are only going to get worse as nautural justice takes effect.

[Eyrie]

Cathstration - the neutering of a hoofball club by firstly hounding out a competent manager, then replacing him with a teenage computer nerd with no social skills and finally bringing in a large number of ageing and overpaid foreigners who have never heard of the club or its traditions.

[fiolex1]

Cathropractor: Manipulation of the backbone of a team with the use of electronics via an iPad or laptop

[AltheHibby]

Alcathrolic. One who uses drink to blot out the haunting memories of spineless performances against local rivals. Characteristics include the partaking of 3 alcoholic drinks to 1 non-alcoholic.

[scm70nyd1973]

Cath - ro oh - 1980's song by the Bluebells with the following ironic lyrics
Cath roah roah
It takes a lot to make me laugh woah woah
You led me up the garden path woah woah
It takes a lot to make me laugh

So weary and low
I'm sad to the core
Of all your lying and I'll have no more

Too tired to care
No emotion to spare
I rant and rave and scream and slash and tear

Whoa Cath roah roah
It takes a lot to make me laugh woah woah
You led me up the garden path woah woah
It takes a lot to make me laugh

I'm shaking with fright
And nothing's going right
You've spoilt my day for the rest of the night

Whoa Cath roah roah
It takes a lot to make me laugh woah woah
You led me up the garden path woah woah
It takes a lot to make me laugh

And you're not there Cath
Cath roah roah
You know you always make me laugh woah woah
I led you up the garden path woah woah
So, just forget about it Cath
Oh, Cath

Al I'm saying is enough is enough
You can't take a joke then lady that's tough
Oh oh lady that tough
Enough is enough
Enough is enough
Enough is enough
Enough is enough

[snooky]

Cathronova - Young gigalo who has his followers swooning and wondering when he'll start needing to shave.

[Time For Heroes]

Cathrover: The ability to end a football season by mid February.

[Itsnoteasy]

These are all brilliant.

[snooky]

Edinburgh Cathrol - Built on solid foundations but historically easily overrun when attacked.

[Mixu62]

Audi Cathro - a cheap import version of a classic. Lots of computer designed features that just don't work and it can't handle corners.

[fiolex1]

Cathro-phonics: Constant mumblings and gibberish at interviews of an employee who is clearly out of their depth!

[fiolex1]

Cathro-genics: The terrible condition that may effect the ability to think straight and is similar to Brain Freeze whilst sooking a Jubbly!

[Rory]

Fidel Cathro

A Gorgie revolutionary and keyboard warrior.

Cathro had come to power with the support of most Gorgie city dwellers on the basis of his promises to restore the 'Big Team' constitution, create an honest administration, and reinstate Heart of Midlothian as a non-hoofball footballing entity.

However, a heavy defeat at the hands of his rivalssoon put an end to his ambitions and he was assasinated by a dissolusioned Yam soon after.

[Cat Stanton]

Cathrow row row your boat:

An English language nursery rhyme and children's song, popular among those of Yam origins to describe someone being up s**tcreek without a paddle (but possibly with a laptop).

[squire]

Cathroturf - the surface of the second best pitch in Gorgie, after Gorgie Farm.

"Football is played on Cathroturf around here."
"You're right, let's get another hammer thrower in"

[A Hi-Bee]

Cath ederal :- like silence at the Wonga-dome when it finally begins to sink in that there seasons once again has been ******ed up by Scottish Cup Holders.

As they sit in the piggery suitably attired in the traditional cardigan, a murky sort of broon colour or even a fashionable new fawn type colour fiddling with the large wooden buttons on the front or with hands dug into the very fashionable deep pockets of said attire watching the sheite season unfold, dreams in tatters just becuase they couldnie beat a team fi the division below there own lofty perch.

[Topographic Hibby]

Cathrolepsy

(1) Excessive daytime sleepiness at inappropriate times, e.g. in the midst of a key Derby cup replay at the home of the cup holders.
(2) Stress condition brought on by dull, boy-child from Dundee, the living embodiment of The Peter Principle (q.v.)

[Dashing Bob S]

Emergency loan: Cheating by securing a player to replace injured players, under the football authorities regulations.

Opp: 'Owing it ourselves' Not cheating by running up debts you cannot afford to pay back, then going into administration, thus bumping registered charities, local small businesses and Lithuanian taxpayers.

[Eyrie]

Cathro-oh-seven: A secret agent embedded in an enemy's key management role to destabilise and ruin a hoofball team by signing duds. Licensed to dull.

[Sergey]

Cathroter [noun] - A tube that is placed in the urinary tract that allows one to speak complete and utter pish.

[AltheHibby]

Cathrode Ray tube.

A high-vacuum tube in which cathrode rays produce a luminous image on a fluorescent screen, used in televisions and computer terminals.

[Jim44]

Cathro - a Hibernian supporter's comfort blanket.

[Austinho]

Cathroller Coaster
A term used to describe the ups and downs of HoMFC's 2016/17 season. Specifically, helping your side plummet from second in the league to a distant 5th through months of playing like relegation candidates.

[Dashing Bob S]

Cathrotharisus - a Jambo orgasm.

"When I humped my sister in the
Wheatfield bogs I achieved cathritharisus."

[Austinho]

Russian Cathroulette
Blowing your entire annual player budget in the January window for a 1 in 6 chance of beating Hibs in the cup.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Cathroter something you insert into a team that makes opposition fans pish themselves.

[Hibs1969]

Things Can Only Get Berra - Catchy electronic ditty from the early 90s. Alt an overhyped throwback to better days. A panic recruitment arising from previous desperate selections, poor performances and even worse results.

[Callum7]

I don't think they know this one.

goalpost
ˈɡəʊlpəʊst/
noun
noun: goal-post
either of the two upright posts of a goal.

[Brunswickbill]

Cathectic - To invest emotional energy in a person. Real word real definition. Defo applies to Budge and Levein.

[Smartie]

Cathrowaway - disposable signing made in the January transfer window then discarded months later. Normally a disinterested foreign journeyman, other features of these signings include an ability to take your team from 2nd to 5th in the league and a total lack of bottle or understanding of an Edinburgh derby, however they are known to generate a lot of cash for John Colquhoun.

[Smartie]

Milton Keynesian economics - to usher hard times into your club by hounding out a talented and successful manager who happened to have a single bad result against one's greatest rivals, thus forcing him to take the first job that comes his way, normally somewhere like bloody Milton Keynes.

[ano hibby]

Cathroter something you insert into a team that makes opposition fans pish themselves.

Outstanding :)

[Jag7]

Cathroter something you insert into a team that makes opposition fans pish themselves.

Clever 😂😂

[snooky]

Cathrosphere
That eerie moment when fans go quiet after just seeing their team lose a two goal lead.

Canberra
1: noun Capital of Australia
2: verb Dropping a new signing after one game realising they are s***e

[jacomo]

Nanny McPhee

1. A popular family movie from 2005
2. A helper brought in to nurse your precocious and inadequate manager

[Smartie]

Cathroter something you insert into a team that makes opposition fans pish themselves.

How about a second meaning -

Cathroter - a tube inserted into the Tynecastle home dugout in order to deliver pish results?

[Peevemor]

How about a second meaning -

Cathroter - a tube inserted into the Tynecastle home dugout in order to deliver pish results?

:top marks

[Treadstone]

Malaury (Martin)

1: noun Referring to an overlong deal with little benefit.
2: uses "that Vodafone contract is a proper Malaury"
3: synonyms Cowie, Lafferty, Esma

[One Day Soon]

To Peterhead

A verb indicating the attainment of an advanced state of massive underachievement.

"After last season's performances and results they thought I couldn't make things any worse but then I just went and Peterheaded"

[Green Blood]

Cathrowaway - an adjective, something that someone says without thinking (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/thinking) carefully (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/carefully) and is not intended (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/intended) to be serious (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/serious)

Cathrowback - a noun, an earlier version, something from the past

Cathroscopy - a noun, a tube measuring around 5'8" which spouts faecal matter and urine

[HibbyDave]

Penalty shootout:- a descriptive term for the opportunity to completely embarrass yourself and team by punting the ball high over the crossbar into the remaining crowd after the majority had walked out in disgust.

[lyonhibs]

Cathartic : the feeling felt watching a standard grade computer science nerd managing your local rivals into the footballing hinterland whilst giving interviews that crash the Google translate code.

Cathratonic: state that can only be achieved by excess exposure to the "continental style" football of 1 I.Cathro Esq.

[Smartie]

League Cup - an annual opportunity for most Scottish clubs to get their hands on an important piece of silverware. For Heart of Midlothian the League Cup is more commonly referred to as the "Diddy Cup" and represents and annual opportunity to play like a shower of diddies, to get hoofed out of the competition and to fail to reacquaint the League Cup trophy with the Tynecastle Trophy Room for the first time since John F Kennedy was the American President.

[Callum7]

goalposts
ˈɡəʊlpəʊst/
Plural noun


two upright posts of a goal that are spread 7.32 metres apart. Please note that they cannot be moved/removed to your satisfaction.

[Northernhibee]

Bjorn Again Cathrolic: Someone who realises that the person who leads them in their day to day life is dragging them down and pisses off to any team to be lead by someone who knows what they're doing.

[KSA Hibee]

"Big Team" ... equivalent or A.K.A - an oxymoron!

In Scottish .. same as a "aye right" a double negative meaning the complete opposite

🤔

[007]

Cathrover: The ability to end a football season by mid February.

This will be revised to late July in the Yamasaurus 2nd Edition.

[Speedway]

'Cathrover'

The tragic end to a career before the age of 30

[007]

It's okay - It's not okay

[Green Blood]

Cathrotic, the ability to excite the opposition fans

[Dashing Bob S]

"Sex Offenders Disappointed in Peterhead" - Newspaper reaction to a recent bad defeat suffered by Hearts FC in the wee cup or disquiet suffered by criminals of a certain nature due to their incarceration at the local prison.

[One Day Soon]

To give good Peterhead

The ability to induce an advanced state of bliss in your rivals by making something quite small and minor into something much bigger and harder than it should be.

See also; anti-climax, shooting over the bar and persistent premature eviction from the League Cup.

[snooky]

Cathtaway: person thrown overboard to lighten a sinking ship.

[AltheHibby]

To give good Peterhead

The ability to induce an advanced state of bliss in your rivals by making something quite small and minor into something much bigger and harder than it should be.

See also; anti-climax, shooting over the bar and persistent premature eviction from the League Cup.

When even Mrs Al is laughing out loud at an entry (not mine!) you know it's quality.

[Jack Hackett]

Cathtaway: person thrown overboard to lighten a sinking ship.

:faf:

Top drawer :top marks

[Jack Hackett]

To give good Peterhead

The ability to induce an advanced state of bliss in your rivals by making something quite small and minor into something much bigger and harder than it should be.

See also; anti-climax, shooting over the bar and persistent premature eviction from the League Cup.

... As is this :faf:

[One Day Soon]

CathroStokes Syndrome

A condition in which startlingly contrasting fortunes cause the individual to fret incessantly about their worst fears for the future or to look forward with anticipated joy.

One of the world's rarest conditions in that it can bring the patient either extreme anxiety or extreme satisfaction depending upon whether or not they are poppy thieves.

[snooky]

Dalymation - An animal best known for obeying its master

[Treadstone]

Daly Record

1. Low quality tabloid
2. Quick time for negotiating stairs in sports stadia.

[snooky]

Daly Record

1. Low quality tabloid
2. Quick time for negotiating stairs in sports stadia.



Daly = Dalry withoot the wee ar$e

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Dalry Lama - A much persecuted and ridiculed visionary - unfortunately for this individual at the hands of his own followers and supporters. A managerial Icarus who's wings were stripped feather by feather by the hands of an evil overlord.
A(n often pointless) revolutionary fighting to the ultimate death in the struggle between the future and the past.

[Jim44]

Serger - Portuguese sewing machine designed to prevent fraying of edges. Recent reviews suggest it does not have capabilities to cope with damage beyond repair.

[Springbank]

To Get Off at Haymarket

(1) A well known Edinburgh euphemism that is sometimes applied to coital matters;

(2) Hearts, 1985/86 "did well for a while then got off at Haymarket just when it was getting interesting"

(3) Robbie Neilson, at half time v Hibs in Feb 2016 when 2-0 up at tynecastle (ditto)

(4) Hearts league cup "runs" since 1960 (ditto)

[007]

Dalry Lama - A much persecuted and ridiculed visionary - unfortunately for this individual at the hands of his own followers and supporters. A managerial Icarus who's wings were stripped feather by feather by the hands of an evil overlord.
A(n often pointless) revolutionary fighting to the ultimate death in the struggle between the future and the past.

Daly Lama - Dr Who style regeneration of the Dalry Lama. Don't get too close, he might spit.

[One Day Soon]

Cathro/Levein Deficiency

A condition in which the patient's initial symptoms present as a distressing inability to communicate intelligibly, verging on self-parody. Following treatment with a cheap home-made remedy the patient subsequently deteriorates into full blown Hoofball.

Note: This condition often develops after an earlier stage Vladectomy, causing the patient years of consequent suffering on a severely impoverished diet. In extreme cases the patient enters an hallucinogenic state in which regular denial of poppy thievery takes place.

Other complications can include; wee stadium, direct debit diversion and Hampden nosebleed. In almost every case the patient will try to obsessively apply 5-1 as a suppository salve, but this now simply results in an outbreak of 21st May 2016 euphoric joy in non-sufferers thus aggravating the original condition.

See also Level Playing Field

[renato]

Cathro/Levein Deficiency

A condition in which the patient's initial symptoms present as a distressing inability to communicate intelligibly, verging on self-parody. Following treatment with a cheap home-made remedy the patient subsequently deteriorates into full blown Hoofball.

Note: This condition often develops after an earlier stage Vladectomy, causing the patient years of consequent suffering on a severely impoverished diet. In extreme cases the patient enters an hallucinogenic state in which regular denial of poppy thievery takes place.

Other complications can include; wee stadium, direct debit diversion and Hampden nosebleed. In almost every case the patient will try to obsessively apply 5-1 as a suppository salve, but this now simply results in an outbreak of 21st May 2016 euphoric joy in non-sufferers thus aggravating the original condition.

See also Level Playing Field

:faf:

[Callyballybe]

Cathro/Levein Deficiency

A condition in which the patient's initial symptoms present as a distressing inability to communicate intelligibly, verging on self-parody. Following treatment with a cheap home-made remedy the patient subsequently deteriorates into full blown Hoofball.

Note: This condition often develops after an earlier stage Vladectomy, causing the patient years of consequent suffering on a severely impoverished diet. In extreme cases the patient enters an hallucinogenic state in which regular denial of poppy thievery takes place.

Other complications can include; wee stadium, direct debit diversion and Hampden nosebleed. In almost every case the patient will try to obsessively apply 5-1 as a suppository salve, but this now simply results in an outbreak of 21st May 2016 euphoric joy in non-sufferers thus aggravating the original condition.

See also Level Playing Field

Haaaahaaaaa!

[Joe6-2]

Cathro/Levein Deficiency

A condition in which the patient's initial symptoms present as a distressing inability to communicate intelligibly, verging on self-parody. Following treatment with a cheap home-made remedy the patient subsequently deteriorates into full blown Hoofball.

Note: This condition often develops after an earlier stage Vladectomy, causing the patient years of consequent suffering on a severely impoverished diet. In extreme cases the patient enters an hallucinogenic state in which regular denial of poppy thievery takes place.

Other complications can include; wee stadium, direct debit diversion and Hampden nosebleed. In almost every case the patient will try to obsessively apply 5-1 as a suppository salve, but this now simply results in an outbreak of 21st May 2016 euphoric joy in non-sufferers thus aggravating the original condition.

See also Level Playing Field

Funny!!! 👍

[Smartie]

PyongYam - an utter hell hole, inhabited by possibly 400,000 peasants, led by a dictatorial megalomaniac who maintains a life of luxury at the peasants' expense.

Prone to indulging in pointless willy waving they excel at going grossly over budget on vanity infrastructure projects they also have a tendency to make exaggerated claims in relation to their achievements during warfare.

[Bostonhibby]

PyongYam - an utter hell hole, inhabited by possibly 400,000 peasants, led by a dictatorial megalomaniac who maintains a life of luxury at the peasants' expense.

Prone to indulging in pointless willy waving they excel at going grossly over budget on vanity infrastructure projects and are prone to making exaggerated claims in relation to their achievements during warfare.[emoji23]

And they've got their own missile launcher.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171129/088789bd3168cb9169af5891cdbb34de.jpg

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[Viva_Palmeiras]

[emoji23]

And they've got their own missile launcher.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171129/088789bd3168cb9169af5891cdbb34de.jpg

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The seating looks like a warped defender screenshot

[snooky]

Will.I.Yam = An opportunity offered by HoMFC to bequeath your entire estate to help pay for the ongoing construction of a monolithic icon at Gorgie in return for a lifetime seat with the view of one goalmouth.

[Bostonhibby]

Will.I.Yam = An opportunity offered by HoMFC to bequeath your entire estate to help pay for the ongoing construction of a monolithic icon at Gorgie in return for a lifetime seat with the view of one goalmouth.In recognition of your contribution you get an official plastic owl instead of the headstone your family will no longer be able to afford.

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[Viva_Palmeiras]

Will.I.Yam = An opportunity offered by HoMFC to bequeath your entire estate to help pay for the ongoing construction of a monolithic icon at Gorgie in return for a lifetime seat with the view of one goalmouth.

Cathros Law - states a football visionary shall first be ridiculed by the naysayers and ultimately thrown to the wolves by their own followers.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Will.I.Yam = An opportunity offered by HoMFC to bequeath your entire estate to help pay for the ongoing construction of a monolithic icon at Gorgie in return for a lifetime seat with the view of one goalmouth.

Brilliant!

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Jambos Law - states a support can delude themselves on almost any given topic provided the recently discredited principles of yamonomics (mainly owing things to yourselves and shafting taxpayers and charities) are applied. See also Flat Earthers

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Cling-ons - a state of being whereby the Jambo support hold on to past history as an antidote to horrendous reality of present day. Involves quoting stats (prior to the ‘money spinning replay”) chanting and frequently gesticulating 5-1 In quiet desperation. Chiefly Ignoring stats post 2012.

[Jim44]

Pottering Around

What they do.

[lyonhibs]

A Yamorama:

A wide angle, stunning picture of the view from the new modular Main Stand, featuring "CHIPS" as the main attraction. May be spoiled by such encumbrances as a) the police control box, b) handrail, c) Floodlight support blocking the view of 1 whole goal or d) all of the above

[majorhibs]

Pottering Around

What they do.

What they DDdo.

[Mixu62]

Sell out - a venue that is about 60% full.

[wookie70]

Glass Curtain Wall - Windows

Budgieradar - An eagle like 360 degree sense mostly seen in aging women and used to spot opportunities to raise money from those beneath and around her

Budgeteer - The liquid founded dropping from old ladies eyes when a cheque needs to be signed

Leveinathans - Beasts that predate modern football. They roamed the pitch looking up for a mythical ball that landed once or twice a game. The smaller Leveinathans found it very difficult to stay on their feet whilst the larger uglier Leveinathans made it difficult for the opposition to stay on their feet. While their brains were simplistic in terms of the early version of football they had already evolved past most modern players in the ability to think up excuses and blame others. Rarely found in pairs near the opposition's goal.

[Mixu62]

4-6-0; not a levein formation but a yam business strategy. Spend 4 times what you can afford for 6 years with the intention of paying back 0 of it. 4-6-0, simple.

[MyJo]

Piazza - A colourful word used by yams to describe an extensive monoblock driveway

example - "I've parked my Brown Rover further up the piazza so as to not obstruct the view of the shoddy badge design"

[007]

Plaza: see Piazza.

[HoboHarry]

Piazza - A colourful word used by yams to describe an extensive monoblock driveway

example - "I've parked my stolen Brown Rover further up the piazza so as to not obstruct the view of the shoddy badge design"

Fixed that for you......

[Springbank]

Safety Certificate - in keeping with their visionary and truly pioneering spirit, Hearts were the first (and so far only) professional sports team to waken up to the opportunities that a Safety Certificate for a stadium could bring, in terms of drama for the fans, and in terms of their media profile.

Rather than be boring, and apply for (and comply with) the so-called "health & safety" laws, Hearts were unique in spying the opportunity to apply for (and very nearly fail to achieve) a "temporary safety certificate".

This certificate would not last for the season, no sir, where would be the thrill in that? Dramatically, Hearts used Temporary Safety Certificates to uncork a thrill that could be relived on a game-by-game basis. Every game needed a new certificate. Every game meant another brush with the authorities.

This meant Hearts were in the headlines all through the evening and night of the day before matchday, in a "will-they-won't-they" drama that would have graced the scriptwriters of Friends (think Ross and Rachel) or, perhaps more accurately, like something out of the Fast Show (think Ted and Ralph)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSMWswNqs0o

[Hibee Daft]

Yam Busters:

A team which regularly pumps Hearts,
(See the Hibees 8 in a row unbeaten run)

[Tornadoes70]

Sta press/Boating Jacket/Cardigans/Dr Martens oxblood shoes - Typical yam wardrobe.

[hibbyfraelibby]

Austin Morris...HMFC company car allocated to the coaching staff on which the wheels have come off.

[snooky]

Yama-lama-ding-dong = Alt. name for New Year's Day 1973 when a team got 7 bells knocked out of them.

[Topographic Hibby]

Yam-inista
A lady Yam with with no fashion sense or any sense of subtlety, decorum or good taste.

Always dressed in her Granny’s old maroon curtains or off-cuts from a maroon tartan rug found in the skip behind Carpetright.

A person best avoided, she constantly shakes a collecting tin under your nose and will charge you 6% on your donation.

[LithgaeHibby]

Vomitorium: pretentious term used by those with delusions of grandeur and an over-inflated sense of importance, generally belonging to organisations with an elevated superiority complex (see big team), to describe a portal of egress from an area devoid of entertainment (see library), commonly known as an exit.

Example usage: ah'm away tae the vomitorium, ah cannae stand any mair ay this p**h.

[Bostonhibby]

Yamalarmadingdong.

Popular scream just before everyone panics and the council have to backdate the inspection certificate.

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[hibbyfraelibby]

Yamboo...a loud and continuous encouraging utterance heard eminating from the home stands (normally at the 45th and 90th minutes at the Vomitorium.)

[snooky]

Pandemoniyam : The new Christmas panto at The Gorgie Paladiyam

[LithgaeHibby]

Library: an area where noise is conspicuous by its absence, with the exception of 1650 on Saturdays (or 1705 if there has been a fire alarm) when there is a short intermission comprising booing. The Library may be exited via a vomitorium.

[JohnMcM]

Yammy-Dodgers

A phenomenon seen in the Yam dugout.

It goes like this, Craig (I'm the celebrity manager get me out of here) Levein sees how a match is developing, decides to dodge responsibility for another up coming poor home result and contrives a way to get sent to the stand, thus handing said responsibility to his right-hand man.

The right-hand man, in this case Nanny (I prefer to stay in the background) McPhee, cottons on to what his boss has done and says to himself, "Oh no you don't, I'm not carrying the can for this one, I'm coming up into our shiney new stand with you and leaving Mr Daly with this problem", proceeds to picks a fight with the opposition so he can join his boss.

Poor Mr Daly is stuck with the responsibility and can't even reach a fire-alarm to set off thus having the match abandoned.

Meanwhile, Messrs Levein and McPhee sit in the shiney new stand with a bag of world-class chips and hope the gullible hoards will blame the referee for their team's performance.

[heretoday]

A Cannyseeyam. One of several "restricted view" seats in an Edinburgh football stadium.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

National Yamthem

To the tune of God Save the Queen (Budgie)

Oh what an aahhhs-I-yam
Oh what an aahhhs-I-yam
Oh what a twit...

See also National anthem of Siam.

[gogsy23]

Yamspiracy: Thinking the world is against you and evreyone wants you to lose, like playing against 12 men evrey week.

[-Jonesy-]

Fire Drill: When an overworked contractor slips up with his power tools causing random evacuations at unwanted times.

[Northernhibee]

Anne Budgement Day - When the Queen of Chips realises that her latest manager is the latest in a long line of duds and starts the ball rolling to get them punted.

[hibbyfraelibby]

Yam Chips

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Place sliced yams in a large mixing bowl and pour the oil over them.
Use your hands to toss .(honest this is genuine recipe)
Spread the slices out on a baking sheet (use 2 if you need to) and sprinkle with the salt, pepper and chili powder.
Bake 8-10 minutes until they begin to turn brown.
Then flip and and cook for another 8-10 minutes (check once or twice to make sure they don't burn).Let cool for at least 10 minutes, then serve or store in an airtight container for up to a week.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Silence of the Yams

21.5.16 As Sir David Gray rose to nod into the net the simultaneous combustion of stats and songsheets left the yams devoid of material resulting in a subdued crowd of nearly 400,000 former Vladsheep yams. At time of writing they have still to find their voice - also see Yammute - not to be confused with the other use of the word which means the disorientation caused by a temporary relocation to Murrayfield.

[Greenfly]

Leveintation - the art of floating from a Tynecastle dugout to a seat two rows above in the stand upon instructions from a referee (typically carried out with infantile tantrum and lack of grace).

[Greenfly]

Austinsible - the obvious truth that he'll inevitably by joined shortly by his Assistant.

[-Jonesy-]

Austinsible - the obvious truth that he'll inevitably by joined shortly by his Assistant.

Aka McPheesable

[Scott Allan Key]

Transfer Budge-t

A transfer of DD to the pockets of a scrounging old dear to pay for a carbuncle on the backside of Edinburgh with no promise of any end in sight.

[cabbageandribs1875]

Yams in the news again

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762

[-Jonesy-]

Yams in the news again

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762

Can't even power a set of floodlights, never mind a nation

[wookie70]

Austintatious - Showy display used to try and cheat the referee and get a player from an opposing team sent off.

Austin Allegro - A quickstep dance routine performed by two males, one who wears a wig to look like the female. The speed of the dance often leads to dancers falling over and in some cases having to retire for a wee sit doon.

[snooky]

Scary headline

http://http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762)

[cabbageandribs1875]

Can't even power a set of floodlights, never mind a nation



:hilarious that's true

[Springbank]

Seems like verse 2 of the Djoum Song is being written for us on the BBC : http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762

Djoum Djoum Djoum Djoum
He comes from Cameroon
He's never won a derby
A derby in Maroon

Yam Yam Yam Yams
And their fire alarms
They cannot power a nation
Got no sophistication

[hibbyfraelibby]

Pjyamas - A term used to describe what the Tena Lady and Lord Pishy Breeks do in their bed clothes

[snooky]

Yamsterjam = 40,000 fans squeezed into 3 stands.

[jgl07]

Scary headline

http://http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-42197762)
When I was in Nigeria a few years back, there were signs all over the airports to the effect that no Yams were allowed on aircraft.

[-Jonesy-]

Potter's Field - A small area of rough mud and patches of grass, surrounded by crumbling and dilapidated walls where anonymous no name footballers are sent to die, usually around the last week of January.

[hibbyfraelibby]

0-1 = Draw

[Alfiembra]

Yamustbe


A linking word used by Yams regularly.


e.g.


Yamustbe mad - if an opposing team scores a perfectly good goal and the referee does not award it.


Yamustbe joking - if an opposing team scores a perfectly good goal and the referee does award it


Yamustbe my cousin - when Yam supporters wave to each other displaying 6 fingers on each hand.


Yamustbe clever - when a Yam supporter can count to 12.

[snooky]

Yammerthrowers - no explanation required. :cb

[Liberal Hibby]

19,316 - largest capacity football crowd in Edinburgh

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Yama-Lama-ding-dong internal strife caused by the recruitment of Ian Cathro

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Yamaha - metaphor used by a number of Hearts regimes - their collective view on the maleability of the yam support - you can play them like a Yamaha (piano).

[Treadstone]

Yosemite Yam. - fruitless pursuit of a more graceful rival. Often ends in disaster.

[jacomo]

Schematic mathematics

A controversial and little-followed mathematical discipline, in which the right answer is simply whatever the Top Brass tell you it is.

E.g. 'The new £12m stand has increased Tiny Park capacity to over 20,000. Formula unavailable.'

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Taking the biscuit - when a yam spraffs about football from a baseless position contrast with Mikey Stewart.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

“I was in the changing room when I took the call” a desperate sign of desperate measures being taken to resolve a managerial recruitment problem.

[snooky]

"Play it again, Yam" = Famous Humphrey Bogart line about anti-football tactics.

[Joe6-2]

Yosemite Yam. - fruitless pursuit of a more graceful rival. Often ends in disaster.

😂😂😂

[Joe6-2]

Schematic mathematics

A controversial and little-followed mathematical discipline, in which the right answer is simply whatever the Top Brass tell you it is.

E.g. 'The new £12m stand has increased Tiny Park capacity to over 20,000. Formula unavailable.'

Truth - £15m+ truth - 19,000something

[-Jonesy-]

Great Result - 0 shots on target and 0 corners and 0 competitive edge at home against an "inferior" team

[eezyrider]

The ever popular xmas favourite.

Harry Potter and the Half Built Stadium

EZ

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Dalry Yama

Spiritual head coach of the yams. Devine ruler and font of all yam-dom.

When Potter is about ninety players in he will consult the high yamas of Gorgie to re-evaluate whether the institution of the Dalry yama should continue. On that basis they will take a decision. If it is decided that the reincarnation of the Dalai Yama should continue and there is a need for the Umpteeth Dalry yama to be recognized. Potter will leave clear written instructions about this. Bear in mind that, apart from the reincarnation recognized through such legitimate methods, no recognition or acceptance should be given to a candidate chosen by the Gorgie faithful.

[Smartie]

"Goal"

An event during a football match, the thought of which is so terrifying it gives Craig Leveins the skitters, leading him to retreat to his cludgie/bunker deep below Tynecastle in order to create uber-defensive football formations that threaten the very existence of "goals".

What actually counts as a goal in Yamland is a very grey area indeed - simply getting the ball over the line (as seen in matches involving all other teams) does not seem to be sufficient to count as a goal, and some bold commentators have proposed theories that the ball actually needs to touch the net in order to count.

[WoreTheGreen]

Thank fk England never won in 66 over to you jimmy s

[Eyrie]

Craig Levein Suites - private cubicles for those unfortunate moments when your bottle has just dropped out of your arse. Complete with lockable doors to prevent teammates disturbing you with reminders that you're going to let them down for an important game. A choice of the Daily Record or Sun is provided for dual purposes. Also include hand washing facilities, although these are ornamental as there is no expectation that they will be used.

[hibbyfraelibby]

Deathtrap...a description given to a half finished library extension facing a football pitch.

[Tornadoes70]

Diving Coaches -

Normally reserved for the swimming arenas however the yams for a number of years have employed diving pool coaches to teach their players intricate techniques whereby enabling them to dramatically dive and throw themselves to the ground at the slightest touch or no touch at all when opposition players come close to them.





Mon the Cabbage!!!

[snooky]

Jamble Sale : Selling off two items you don't want to buy another item that you do but, will have to sell soon because it isn't what you thought you wanted in the first place.

[AltheHibby]

50 Shades of Grey- wins a Razzie.

86 Shades of Brown- wins nothing.

[Aim Here]

Yamboni - a slow-moving powered vehicle which is designed to polish the surface of the Tynecastle field to the groundskeeper's preferred level of smoothness.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/800/cpsprodpb/14490/production/_94788038_13300539.jpg
The Tynecastle yamboni crew in action, preparing the pitch for a league game later on that afternoon.