Gorgie Rules

[1two]

My timeline has been littered with post about “Gorgie Rules” and “Gorgie Rules apply” this week for some unknown reason.

This has got me thinking, just what are the Gorgie rules?

Presumably some sort of local bylaws that are in place around those parts to keep the residents safe?

Can you please help me complete this list of what these Gorgie rules are;

1. Must own a selection of fine quality beige coloured cardigans, plus one maroon version for match days.
2.



(Apologies if this has been done before).

[bigwheel]

Must reference Hibs in an insecure way in any announcement , as we have a major chip on our shoulder about them

[matty_f]

My timeline has been littered with post about “Gorgie Rules” and “Gorgie Rules apply” this week for some unknown reason.

This has got me thinking, just what are the Gorgie rules?

Presumably some sort of local bylaws that are in place around those parts to keep the residents safe?

Can you please help me complete this list of what these Gorgie rules are;

1. Must own a selection of fine quality beige coloured cardigans, plus one maroon version for match days.
2.



(Apologies if this has been done before).

I’m sure it’s been done before but it’s 100% worth revisiting.

- size is important, you must mask your own inadequacies by loudly proclaiming that you’re “big”, “famous” or both.

- charity begins at home, therefore charity money is your money. Take it as you like.

- washing is optional.

[Alex Trager]

If the question is ‘Gorgie rules what?’ The answer is and always has been ‘ **** all’

[gbhibby]

Must get journalists wet when it rains.

[snedzuk]

Must rake in the bucket for something to eat

[Pagan Hibernia]

Sex to be kept to a minimum, so as not to wake the neighbours in the bungalow next door. Missionary position preferable, none of this continental nonsense. Absolutely no kinky stuff.

[Hibernian Verse]

Employ sex offenders where possible.

[degenerated]

Don't park your rover in the committee's parking spaces at the bowling club.

[Alfiembra]

Residents must never step in a puddle whilst others are drinking from it, in fact residents must never step in a puddle under any circumstances.

[Mcbizz1998]

It seems to be an interchangeable phrase. Sometimes it’s just “Gorgie Rules” as in they are in control of something.

Then sometimes it’s “Gorgie Rules apply” which would mean there is presumably some kind of set of actual rules they follow. So which is it? Either way it’s utter cringe.

[Bostonhibby]

Don't worry about debt, we owe it to ourselves.

Debt can always be made to go away by firing up the oven and knocking out a few battenburgs and fondant fancies.


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[Waxy]

Chips

[007]

Paying creditors is optional.

Ifsomething doesn't go your way, squeal as loud and long as possible. 🐷

[Since452]

Sisters are fair game - Gorgie rules.

[Iain G]

Staircases can just be, they don't need to lead to anywhere.

Pink paint will eventually rust enough to become maroon.

Russian Hats are to be retained in good condition and stored in your wardrobe in the original hat box, ready for the second coming of Saint Vlad.

Everything is the biggliest in Edinburgh and 3rd biggliest in Scotland.

It is perfectly acceptable to ignore convention and invent new methods of measurement and counting to ensure everything appears to be biggliest (or 3rd biggliest).

Ronnie Corbett was the funnier of the Ronnies.

[Bostonhibby]

Always buy shares that are cash only issues and aren't actually issued.

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[Bostonhibby]

Moving into administration should always follow declarations of self sufficiency.

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[Saint Hibee]

... from the back of a taxi.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Substitute the word relegated with demoted at every opportunity.

[Jones28]

Castle views are essential*










Castle views may not apply to actual views of Edinburgh castle as advertised.

[Bostonhibby]

Substitute the word relegated with demoted at every opportunity.[emoji16]

Always get the finest legal minds to fight being relegated for being in the relegation spot when the season ends.

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[Bostonhibby]

Remember "we just need to beat St Mirren".

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[DIXIHIBS]

You must have a superiority complex and an inferiority complex at the same time.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Go fighting amongst yourselves in the pubs around Tynecastle at about 10pm after any game v Hibs or either Old Firm team.

[Alfred E Newman]

Only buy maroon coloured shirts and jumpers and wear them all the time.
Always drink your coffee from a Hearts mug and have your scarfs and baseball cap hanging in full view of any visitors.
A Hearts programme must be visible and left on the coffee table.
A "Don't follow me follow Hearts" sticker must be in clear view on the rear window of your maroon rover and a Jam Tarts air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.
When in the unfortunate company of any Hibs supporters remember to comment constantly about the Big Team and always chip in with a few 5-1,'s.it always raises a laugh.

[tynehibs]

Stick a pair of socks in the crotch of your maroon slacks and dream of another glorious league cup run

[basehibby]

Cleanliness is next to godliness so remember to lick your windaes clean at least once a week.

Always remember the underlying foundations of success - poppy funds and Lithuanian pensioners' life savings.

[Pagan Hibernia]

Stick a pair of socks in the crotch of your maroon slacks and dream of another glorious league cup run

😂

[Iain G]

[emoji16]

Always get the finest legal minds to fight being relegated for being in the relegation spot when the season ends.

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An estate agent is actually better than the best Barrister or Lawyer..if Perry Mason was a Jambo he would have rented flats in Roseburn

[Groathillgrump]

Castle views are essential*



Castle views may not apply to actual views of Edinburgh castle as advertised.


I was at their Skyline restaurant a few weeks ago for lunch (I wasn't paying!) and can confirm that you have a lovely view of... the Tynecastle High School roof. :greengrin

Anyway, Gorgie Rules: Always refer to St Mirren as St Liedown as they absolutely cost Hearts the league title in 1986 by deliberately losing 0-5 to Celtic.

The fact the gunts only needed to draw at Dens Park and bottled it is totally irrelevant. :rolleyes:

[Chorley Hibee]

Remember "we just need to beat St Mirren".

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And avoid defeat at Dundee.

[Keith_M]

Planning applications must be extremely impressive.... and highly unlikely to come to fruition.

26130


Or if they do, they don't need to look anything like the original and/or revised proposal.

26131

....


26132

[Waxy]

Planning applications must be extremely impressive.... and highly unlikely to come to fruition.

26130


Or if they do, they don't need to look anything like the original and/or revised proposal.

26131

....


26132Someones cut that hedge a bit low.

[stuart-farquhar]

Beware of pickpockets.

[DIXIHIBS]

Be all excited about playing in europe for the first time in 6 years....but trying to play it cool so people dont notice youve not played in europe for 6 years.

[CentreForward]

Was in the airport early this morning and because of extensive delays was there for longer than normal waiting on a flight. In all that time I saw quite a few guys wearing Celtic tops and one guy wearing an Aberdeen shirt. Despite the fact that they have a supposedly massive European game tonight I didn’t see one single Hearts fan in all the time I was there, genuinely not one piece of evidence that they are playing tonight despite the fact that it was early morning and it would have been easy for them to get there in the time remaining before the match. The moral of the story is that that tiny wee tinpot club rule the square root of **** all !!!!!

[Carheenlea]

Don’t do drums or pyros on European trips - strike fear into the opposition with a display of clapping unlike anything seen before.

The Gorgie Boys are in Town :lolyam:

https://i.postimg.cc/J7kt3NNk/7-AEEB6-E0-9949-47-E4-95-BE-A1-E47239-E212.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[marinello59]

Don’t do drums or pyros on European trips - strike fear into the opposition with a display of clapping unlike anything seen before.

The Gorgie Boys are in Town :lolyam:

https://i.postimg.cc/J7kt3NNk/7-AEEB6-E0-9949-47-E4-95-BE-A1-E47239-E212.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

Wait until they start twirling their scarves. :greengrin

[Bostonhibby]

Wait until they start twirling their scarves. :greengrinMaybe buy a couple of those giant toblerone's that you get at duty free, then stamp on them like the guy did with the Russian hat.

That'll show them who the Gorgie "boys" are.

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[gbhibby]

Maybe buy a couple of those giant toblerone's that you get at duty free, then stamp on them like the guy did with the Russian hat.

That'll show them who the Gorgie "boys" are.

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None of them gave any teeth to bite into a Toblerone

[Kato]

Remember "we just need to beat St Mirren".

Sent from my SM-A750FN using TapatalkHope you beat St Mirren the last game before Covid so they get relegated and you can laugh really really hard - but when it turns you are to go down choose to whine, call for the complete restructure of Scottish Football, moan, sue all the other clubs, sue the spfl, screetch about Dundee for months, whine/moan, go into denial, get the champagne corks ready for the court case which will win you £8million, believe gonks on message boards who are saying "it's in the bag", lose the court case and get relemugated anyway.

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[Kato]

Beware of pickpockets.Those words trigger the smell of weewee in my memory.

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[Jones28]

Planning applications must be extremely impressive.... and highly unlikely to come to fruition.

26130


Or if they do, they don't need to look anything like the original and/or revised proposal.

26131

....


26132

It will never not be funny that tynecastle looks more like a high school than tynecastle high school.

[gbhibby]

https://images.app.goo.gl/UnQM2U13BccqQnVBA
I knew I had seen the main stand glass wall somewhere before.

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[JammyDoidger]

Wee boy quote, same as their hibs make us spew up song, nothing but utter dafty's.

[PatHead]

Blame everyone else for everything.

[Pretty Boy]

100 yards long is merely a suggestion for minimum pitch size. Georgie rules innit.

[Eyrie]

Plastic owls cost £4,000.

An old carpet makes an acceptable outfit for a woman impersonating Christ the Redeemer.

[allezsauzee]

Being under the misapprehension that five is more than seven?

[Scotty Leither]

Hail the solitary Labour MP in Scotland in red Morningside as an all-conquering hero, and take George Foulkes' pishy troosers to the dry clean for him. Them's Gorge rules, them is.

[sadtom]

The Gorgie ‘rule’.
It claims to be 12 inches…but is in fact only 3 inches.

[jacomo]

Describe everything Hearts related as ‘the Famous’. If someone else refers to ‘the Famous’, nod sagely as if it were incontrovertible fact.

It helps to soothe away feelings of inadequacy.

[007]

Feigning injury, committing fouls and time wasting = controlling the game.

[xyz23jc]

Always count in multiples of six.... Never seven! :greengrin

[Nakedmanoncrack]

Must fly the UJ, proudly emblazoned with poppy on rare European adventures - 'lest we forget' (to live up to mini-Hun trope).

[Johnny_Leith]

If you've any registered sex offenders at the club, embrace them, don't sack them, hell even hire them if you like.

[Jones28]

Chug yourself stupid if you ever see a 5 and a 1 together.

[flash]

Your dad must also be your uncle.

[Kato]

Your dad must also be your uncle.And your uncle is your six-fingered Grandad.

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