The Hibernian FC Cool Wall

[Northernhibee]

Time to put players/managers in the old Top Gear rating of seriously uncool all the way through to sub zero. What is cool and isn't is merely down to the individual and a bit of a laugh. Up to you if you use current or previous players. Do as many or as little as you want, up to you. Nothing to do if you like the player or not or if they're a good player or not.

Darren McGregor - Seriously cool. Just look at him. Doesn't give a ****, major cool guy, no denying it.
Shaun Maloney - Cool. Dresses sharply, likeable enthusiasm, has a cool Belgian mate or three.
Martin Boyle - Seriously uncool. Goofy humour, OTT. Loveable, great player, but seriously uncool.
Ryan Porteous - Uncool. Would be seriously cool going by the Darren McGregor rules but his association with Boyler drags him down.
Melker Hallberg - Seriously cool, bordering on sub zero.
Jamie Murphy - Cool. The grey hairs pull him up into cool, he rocks them well.
Matt Macey - Uncool. Too tall to be cool.
John McGinn - Seriously cool. Great attitude, his own man and loves a pizza crunch.
Paul MCGinn - Sub zero. Carries the McGinn name but without the English Premiership Football Player tag.


Lewis Stevenson is an absolute mystery and enigma to me.

[Lancs Harp]

Marvin Bartley ... Super cool, snappy wardrobe, eats Jam Tarts

[Craig_HFC]

Scott Allan. Effortlessly cool.

Niklas Gunnarsson. Sub zero.

[Glory Lurker]

The chat used to be that Lewis's taste in music sets him apart. Can only get him second place, though.

Gordon Smith. Zero kelvin.

[Tobias Funke]

Franck Sauzee and Russell Latapy, cooler than Yakutsk in mid winter.

[Pretty Boy]

Dominique Malonga - Cooler than sub zero. The Rangers comment and accompanying shrug clinches that status.

Mark Oxley - Uncool. Hipster beard and haircut combo. A look that is the definition of 'of it's time'. Will be looked back on as we look back on the mullet.

Liam Fontaine - Cool. Not much of a singer but put his work out there for us all to see. Deserves respect.

James Keatings - Sub zero. Didn't follow the crowd, went his own path.

[Since452]

Malonga is our coolest ever player. Didn't care about the Rangers. Just casually picking himself up off the ground after he'd been tackled as play raged on. What a man.

[007]

Nisbet....haircut....you decide....I know where I'd put it.

[Jones28]

David Murphy gets his own freezer.

[Northernhibee]

Jorge Claros - sub zero

[Northernhibee]

Florian Kamberi - one of the uncoolest players we have ever had. Made of moisturiser and teeth.

[Northernhibee]

Rod Petrie - cool. Exuberant.

[BILLYHIBS]

Dirk ‘Porn Star’ Lehmann uncool

Russell Latapy ubercool

[superfurryhibby]

Pat Stanton- colder than a well diggers ass.

[The 90+2]

The picture underneath your posts with Sir Dave and the cup is cool as I wasn't when Thommo saved it off the line at 2-2.

[Vault Boy]

Jackson Irvine - cool. If an independent Aussie coffee shop was pressed into a vinyl indie album and given a Simpsons tattoo.

Chris Mueller - uncool. I'm sorry Chris. Truly, I am. I can't wait to see you out there on pitch. However, I just get the sense that you use phrases like "what the frick" and "gosh dang it". Happy to be proven wrong. x

[stu in nottingham]

The epitome of cool in a Hibs player was Alan Gordon. Effortless, stylish and elegant.

A mention for Stevie Archibald too. Nonchalant, skill to die for and utterly cool and understated on the pitch.

[ajf]

The king of cool I give you Sloop John B

[HoboHarry]

Jackson Irvine - cool. If an independent Aussie coffee shop was pressed into a vinyl indie album and given a Simpsons tattoo.

Chris Mueller - uncool. I'm sorry Chris. Truly, I am. I can't wait to see you out there on pitch. However, I just get the sense that you use phrases like "what the frick" and "gosh dang it". Happy to be proven wrong. x
Gosh dang it, not everyone here in America talks like that......

[Bridge hibs]

Keith Wright - Coolness personified taking his goal v Dunfermline in the Skol cup final, cooler than a loony dook in the Forth

[Vault Boy]

Gosh dang it, not everyone here in America talks like that......

:greengrin

[Pagan Hibernia]

Can Hibs fans not get on the Cool Wall too?

if so I’d like to nominate myself

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Zitelli - future was so bright he had to wear shades indoors :)

[Since452]

Keith Wright - Coolness personified taking his goal v Dunfermline in the Skol cup final, cooler than a loony dook in the Forth

In all seriousness probably the best finisher I've seen at Hibs and that's a huge compliment. One on one with the keeper you just knew he was scoring.

[stuart-farquhar]

Gosh dang it, not everyone here in America talks like that......

They all say "awesome" though when clearly it isn't:)

[CockneyRebel]

They all say "awesome" though when clearly it isn't:)

Unless they are describing the Grand Canyon or Easter Road.

[CockneyRebel]

They all say "awesome" though when clearly it isn't/


Unless they are describing the Grand Canyon or Easter Road.

[andudare2]

In all seriousness probably the best finisher I've seen at Hibs and that's a huge compliment. One on one with the keeper you just knew he was scoring.
Seen a muppet on kickback today stating that Keith should be classed alongside Nisbet and Cummings as another Hibs loser
and total waste of money, poster im refering to seems to think he is something of a football guru,personally i think he is a brain transplant patient.

[Greentinted]

Guillaume Beuzelin - as cool as a Farmfoods warehouseman sooking on a jubilee in the middle of January.

Bobby Thomson - not so much.

[HoboHarry]

Guillaume Beuzelin - as cool as a Farmfoods warehouseman sooking on a jubilee in the middle of January.

Bobby Thomson - not so much.
Bit harsh on Bobby surely? Any player that fills in a linesman has to be up there on the cool chart no? :greengrin

[Greentinted]

Bit harsh on Bobby surely? Any player that fills in a linesman has to be up there on the cool chart no? :greengrin

That’s the reason I’m ‘’uncooling’ him. He’d have made the cut if he was a sublimely gifted footballer (shades of Cantona) but I only mind him being a radge! Mind you, it was a helluva right hook…clearly he taught Levein everything he knew…Graeme Hogg agrees! 🥊

[sadtom]

A lot of the previous names mentioned are supremely cool…but the degree of coolness that they are measured against?
is the Efe Scale. 😎

[lyonhibs]

Thierry Gathuessi - as uncool as a road builder's arsecrack at high noon on a roasting July Tuesday in Death Valley

Yannick Zambernardi - putting aside for a moment his near total lack of ability, for that hair and those aimless yet aesthetically pleasing crossfield dunts I'd say he's cool

[Northernhibee]

Elias Melkersen. Too good looking and I suspect those eyebrows are just too perfect. Uncool.

[Pretty Boy]

Elias Melkersen. Too good looking and I suspect those eyebrows are just too perfect. Uncool.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Sub zero. Looks like he belongs in an instantly forgettable 90s boy band but has the self confidence to rock those curtains with no shame.

[Northernhibee]

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Sub zero. Looks like he belongs in an instantly forgettable 90s boy band but has the self confidence to rock those curtains with no shame.

I did say to a friend that if you stare at him long enough he like each individual member of Westlife.