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View Full Version : Best Christmas cracker jokes and riddles


Hibbyradge
25-12-2021, 02:04 PM
What is wrong if it's pronounced right, but is right if it's pronounced wrong?
Hibrandenburg
25-12-2021, 04:04 PM
Wrong?
heretoday
25-12-2021, 10:45 PM
Have you got the chipolatas?

No, I always walk this way.
weedgiehibbie
26-12-2021, 09:33 AM
I really must clear up the Pringles I trod into my carpet yesterday. It's beginning to look a lot like crisp mush.
Hibbyradge
27-12-2021, 12:00 PM
Wrong?

Right! :greengrin
Shezza
27-12-2021, 05:29 PM
Have you seen the dog bowl?

No, I didn’t even know it played cricket.
Keith_M
29-12-2021, 03:33 PM
What's the most popular wine at Christmas?



"Oh no, not Brussels Sprouts again!"
Hibbyradge
30-12-2021, 12:22 AM
What's the most popular wine at Christmas?



"Oh no, not Brussels Sprouts again!"

👍
WoreTheGreen
31-12-2021, 02:48 PM
What is a jockey not permitted to have when riding in race?
Hibbyradge
31-12-2021, 04:36 PM
What is a jockey not permitted to have when riding in race?

I've been wracking my brain but nope, I can't guess the answer.
WoreTheGreen
31-12-2021, 04:41 PM
I've been wracking my brain but nope, I can't guess the answer.

Only relevant to male jockeys
speedy_gonzales
31-12-2021, 05:31 PM
Only relevant to male jockeys

A bra? Christ knows I'd need one to stop myself getting knocked out by these moobz over the jumps.
WoreTheGreen
31-12-2021, 05:42 PM
It’s facial hair
CropleyWasGod
31-12-2021, 06:12 PM
It’s facial hair

An urban myth, Shirley?

Does that mean that female jockeys are allowed facial hair?
WoreTheGreen
31-12-2021, 06:24 PM
An urban myth, Shirley?

Does that mean that female jockeys are allowed facial hair?

When’s the last time you’ve seen a jockey with a beard / moustache
CropleyWasGod
31-12-2021, 06:34 PM
When’s the last time you’ve seen a jockey with a beard / moustache

I don't follow racing, but a quick Google brings this up:-

https://www.racingpost.com/news/theyve-all-lost-out-by-a-whisker-but-why-do-so-few-jockeys-have-beards/301319

BHA spokesman Joe Rendall says: "It's a common misconception jockeys aren't allowed beards, and seems to be based more on pub quiz folklore rather than anything in the rules. As it stands, any jockey considering growing a beard who might be concerned about a close shave with the stewards needn't worry."

I'd take those crackers back :greengrin
WoreTheGreen
31-12-2021, 06:35 PM
I stand corrected
lord bunberry
01-01-2022, 12:49 PM
Have you seen the dog bowl?

No, I didn’t even know it played cricket.
:faf: