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matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:01 PM
Shamelessly nicked from the excellent Down the Slope guys and prompted by the now banned Yam fud that was on earlier, proclaiming “Gorgie Rules”…

What exactly are included in these Gorgie Rules?

Some starters:

You don’t always *have* to pay for poppies.

Charity money is anyone’s money.

Competitions to win TVs don’t always result in the winner getting a TV

It’s always St Mirren’s fault.

bigwheel
14-09-2021, 06:03 PM
You have to talk about your rivals anytime you make an important announcement

Bostonhibby
14-09-2021, 06:07 PM
You can use the Macraes Battalion trust charity money for anything but handing it over to the actual charity whilst simultaneously claiming a unique and special relationship with said charity.

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matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:07 PM
You have to talk about your rivals anytime you make an important announcement

You must mention size whenever you can, even if it’s just when talking to yourself in your Rover.

CL0762
14-09-2021, 06:08 PM
Effectively letting the world know you have a small ***** despite bragging about how big it is

Bostonhibby
14-09-2021, 06:08 PM
Poppies are not only free, but you actually get to keep the money you sell them for.



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Hibs1969
14-09-2021, 06:09 PM
Passing off a sh**ty, crumbling, Victorian stadium as a state of the art, white hot cauldron.

BILLYHIBS
14-09-2021, 06:10 PM
It’s ok to sell seats in the Away End even if they are ringed off

Our rools and our baw

matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:10 PM
Castle views do not have to include a view of any castles.

CL0762
14-09-2021, 06:13 PM
Creaming over the ‘frenzied hostile atmosphere’ despite their songbook after 2016 effectively being reduced to singing about going to Europe, despite only ever qualifying twice in the last 10 years.

Kato
14-09-2021, 06:13 PM
Baking lessons are compulsory.

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matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:16 PM
Being second is being Morally top.

WoreTheGreen
14-09-2021, 06:18 PM
The owl he’s one of our own

007
14-09-2021, 06:21 PM
Paying local businesses' invoices and tax is optional.

PatHead
14-09-2021, 06:21 PM
Relegation is not really relegation if you moan about it enough.

Estate agents can do your legal work for you.

Stands can be built without professional help.(they only cost twice as much and take twice as long)

3pm
14-09-2021, 06:21 PM
The stairway to nowhere.

Anybody got the picture of this? Tried to tell the Mrs that they took 4 years to build a stand, forgot the seats and they had a stair that leads into a wall. She doesn't believe me.

Dalianwanda
14-09-2021, 06:22 PM
We love chips

PatHead
14-09-2021, 06:24 PM
***** doesn't show on a maroon jersey.

007
14-09-2021, 06:25 PM
Applauding = Celebrating like f***.

007
14-09-2021, 06:28 PM
My superiority complex is better than yours.

gbhibby
14-09-2021, 06:29 PM
You must twirl you scarfs above your head to get rid of the smell of your BO.

matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:30 PM
League Cups are just for taking part in.

You should spend crucial games emptying your guts in Dens Park cludgies.

matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:31 PM
The Office is a suitable inspiration for your new stand.

matty_f
14-09-2021, 06:34 PM
Let proper wee teams like Brora beat you now and again.

rossevenil
14-09-2021, 06:36 PM
Sex with your sister is nothing to be ashamed of

gbhibby
14-09-2021, 06:36 PM
The Office is a suitable inspiration for your new stand.
Thought it was the old Co-op in Gt Junction Street that inspired their Glass wall, Matty.

Greenbeard
14-09-2021, 06:37 PM
Only use Jambo flies to make your fly-on-the-wall documentary.
Whenever you sign a player let the world know that you beat Hibs to his signature.

Mikey_1875
14-09-2021, 06:38 PM
Setting trends in fashion

Aldo
14-09-2021, 06:41 PM
The stairway to nowhere.

Anybody got the picture of this? Tried to tell the Mrs that they took 4 years to build a stand, forgot the seats and they had a stair that leads into a wall. She doesn't believe me.

As if by magic……

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210914/db6d7464c819813b6b7cf37dd20b1e08.jpg


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JoeT_WasTheBest
14-09-2021, 06:45 PM
You’re not really in debt if you owe the money to yourself.

3pm
14-09-2021, 06:48 PM
As if by magic……

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210914/db6d7464c819813b6b7cf37dd20b1e08.jpg


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Just pissed herself laughing.

Must admit I hadn't really thought about the requirement for the bannister to make you sure you get to the wall safely until she said. Health and Safety : The Gorgie Rules.

Aldo
14-09-2021, 06:50 PM
We owe it to ourselves!


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Aldo
14-09-2021, 06:51 PM
Just pissed herself laughing.

Must admit I hadn't really thought about the requirement for the bannister to make you sure you get to the wall safely until she said. Health and Safety : The Gorgie Rules.

I keep that to hand along with the list of creditors…. Sad I know but always makes me smile and the stairway is just pure amateurish…. However it’s what big teams do!


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Magpie
14-09-2021, 07:00 PM
Building a new stand and not ordering seats is standard procedure.

matty_f
14-09-2021, 07:03 PM
Thought it was the old Co-op in Gt Junction Street that inspired their Glass wall, Matty.

:greengrin

HibbyAndy
14-09-2021, 07:04 PM
Creaming over the ‘frenzied hostile atmosphere’ despite their songbook after 2016 effectively being reduced to singing about going to Europe, despite only ever qualifying twice in the last 10 years.


Post of the year :top marks


The reason Tiny was like a morgue on Sunday is they have absolutely hee haw over us anymore , When Sir David Gray headed home in 90 plus 2 there songbook died forever

matty_f
14-09-2021, 07:06 PM
Claiming a special relationship with the Scottish Cup that you’ve won something like 5 times in 147 years is ok.

He's here!
14-09-2021, 07:10 PM
Money-spinning replays are just as good as beating Hibs.

Bostonhibby
14-09-2021, 07:19 PM
Just pissed herself laughing.

Must admit I hadn't really thought about the requirement for the bannister to make you sure you get to the wall safely until she said. Health and Safety : The Gorgie Rules.In Budge speak it's actually more properly referred to as a negative vomitorium.

When they work out how to make a hole at the top and have somewhere to go to on the other side there will be a grand opening of an actual vomitorium like before.

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LongJohnBanger
14-09-2021, 07:20 PM
Gorgie Rules:

3) Showers are optional

4) Personal grooming is discouraged

5) We start counting at 3

6) Contractually, demoted employees must show around the new guy

7) Tenuous links to Hibernian F.C. actively encouraged

8) Unlikely hero candidates will be welcomed with open (tynecastle) arms

9) You owe the money to yourself

10) There will be chips.

Peevemor
14-09-2021, 07:22 PM
That 19,852 = 20,099.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210914/0109df994f10db2b4aeac0ff84e44d13.jpg

Since90+2
14-09-2021, 07:27 PM
That 19,852 = 20,099.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210914/0109df994f10db2b4aeac0ff84e44d13.jpg

That just shows up how shallow and obsessed they are with being perceived as a big club.

Their ground doesn't hold 20,000 but their happy to continually claim it does.

Imagine being that utterly obsessed about wanting fans of other clubs to see you as a "big club". Pathetic and sad.

Aldo
14-09-2021, 07:31 PM
That just shows up how shallow and obsessed they are with being perceived as a big club.

Their ground doesn't hold 20,000 but their happy to continually claim it does.

Imagine being that utterly obsessed about wanting fans of other clubs to see you as a "big club". Pathetic and sad.

But they don’t! I have never heard Budge and co mention the capacity and you can be certain that if it was over 20k or more than ours, we would hear about it at every opportunity! Their silence in this is deafening


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Eyrie
14-09-2021, 07:31 PM
Don't let training overrun because the students have booked the pitch for quidditch at noon.

flash
14-09-2021, 07:38 PM
We owe it to ourselves!


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You must never win either the League Cup or anything whatsoever on goal difference.

Peevemor
14-09-2021, 07:41 PM
That just shows up how shallow and obsessed they are with being perceived as a big club.

Their ground doesn't hold 20,000 but their happy to continually claim it does.

Imagine being that utterly obsessed about wanting fans of other clubs to see you as a "big club". Pathetic and sad.There's some clown who keeps changing the figure to 20,099 on wiki, despite the referenced document stating otherwise.

No complex there then.

He's here!
14-09-2021, 07:41 PM
You must never win either the League Cup or anything whatsoever on goal difference.

And when Hibs are top of the league and you're second it's OK to ignore goal difference and pretend you're top.

Aldo
14-09-2021, 07:42 PM
You must never win either the League Cup or anything whatsoever on goal difference.

[emoji23]


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Peevemor
14-09-2021, 07:42 PM
But they don’t! I have never heard Budge and co mention the capacity and you can be certain that if it was over 20k or more than ours, we would hear about it at every opportunity! Their silence in this is deafening


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkBudge has vaguely mentioned "over 20k" a few times.

Aldo
14-09-2021, 07:43 PM
There's some clown who keeps changing the figure to 20,099 on wiki, despite the referenced document stating otherwise.

No complex there then.

We know that they know and that really bugs them!


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jeffers
14-09-2021, 07:43 PM
But they don’t! I have never heard Budge and co mention the capacity and you can be certain that if it was over 20k or more than ours, we would hear about it at every opportunity! Their silence in this is deafening


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Interestingly Boyce did during the pre match build up on Sunday. It must be included in their welcome pack when they sign for them.

Togs91
14-09-2021, 07:43 PM
Relegation isn't actual factual relegation

Aldo
14-09-2021, 07:44 PM
Interestingly Boyce did during the pre match build up on Sunday. It must be included in their welcome pack when they sign for them.

Did he. Yeah they must but they are still quite a way off with no room for expansion. Unless they borrow some benches from the Tiny High School gym hall!


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DaveF
14-09-2021, 07:45 PM
All gatherings must start with "we are heart of Midlothian" (thanks Roy Barry)

007
14-09-2021, 07:45 PM
That 19,852 = 20,099.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210914/0109df994f10db2b4aeac0ff84e44d13.jpg

And we'll change it back whenever anyone corrects it.

Aldo
14-09-2021, 07:51 PM
And we'll change it back whenever anyone corrects it.

Looks like someone’s added the official safety certificate to the wiki page [emoji23]


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LongJohnBanger
14-09-2021, 07:53 PM
Looks like someone’s added the official safety certificate to the wiki page [emoji23]


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Funnily enough, I went to the wiki page in the last few minutes and saw that too.

Gorgie Rules (updated):

11) Wiki MUST be maintained.

CloudSquall
14-09-2021, 07:54 PM
Leagues are won in September.

calumhibee1
14-09-2021, 08:07 PM
Creaming over the ‘frenzied hostile atmosphere’ despite their songbook after 2016 effectively being reduced to singing about going to Europe, despite only ever qualifying twice in the last 10 years.

Had to laugh at that on Sunday.

Quite a few airings of “make some noise, the Gorgie boys are going to Europe” as there always is. These sort of things dont seem to matter though.

Don’t qualify for Europe? Just sing that you have.

Aren’t top of the league? Just say that you are.

Aren’t second in the league? Just say that you are.

3pm
14-09-2021, 08:12 PM
I keep that to hand along with the list of creditors…. Sad I know but always makes me smile and the stairway is just pure amateurish…. However it’s what big teams do!


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Not sad mate. It's to be admired.

Magpie
14-09-2021, 08:14 PM
Appreciating the turn out of your supporters is well known as celebrating whether you win, lose or draw.

O'Rourke3
14-09-2021, 08:38 PM
Spraff 1M providing a decent playing surface then destroy it after remembering you dont want one as it only helps the opposition play football.

Finish the infrastructure shell of the new stand forgetting to remove the crane which had been supporting it and locking said crane inside the ground leaving you no choice but to damage the pitch.

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gbhibby
14-09-2021, 08:47 PM
The club went from one fanny owner to a whole bunch fannies owning the club.

1875godsgift
14-09-2021, 08:56 PM
Always hire a manager who has never, ever heard of Heart of Midlothian.


If you can't do that then pick up any old failed ex-manager on the cheap.

Bostonhibby
14-09-2021, 08:56 PM
Budge has vaguely mentioned "over 20k" a few times.But not for licensing or public liability insurance purposes[emoji23][emoji23]

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jacomo
14-09-2021, 08:59 PM
And when Hibs are top of the league and you're second it's OK to ignore goal difference and pretend you're top.


Also, being bottom of the league doesn’t count if you’re a Big club and the investment in a new manager and loads more players hasn’t quite paid off yet.

bigwheel
14-09-2021, 09:21 PM
Selling your soul to fraudster submariners does not mean you have cheated


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Ringothedog
14-09-2021, 09:30 PM
Selling your soul to fraudster submariners does not mean you have cheated


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Surely you have to have a “soul” in the first place. That club and its fannies are as empty as a vacuum in a science class

Eyrie
14-09-2021, 09:43 PM
Always hire a manager who has never, ever heard of Heart of Midlothian.


If you can't do that then pick up any old failed ex-manager on the cheap.

And if you can't do that, then pick up any old failed ex-manager in the club shop.

jacomo
14-09-2021, 10:12 PM
There's some clown who keeps changing the figure to 20,099 on wiki, despite the referenced document stating otherwise.

No complex there then.


It’s honestly pathetic.

Probably stuck a ‘2.0’ badge on the boot lid of the Rover too when in reality it’s a 1.3 litre.

CraigHibee
14-09-2021, 10:32 PM
The "wee cup" isn't worth winning

CloudSquall
14-09-2021, 11:11 PM
Inclusion on the sex offenders registry is no barrier to entry.

Mikey_1875
14-09-2021, 11:29 PM
Players must fight the chairman to receive their wages.

https://youtu.be/rS0rf8F40hM

bigwheel
15-09-2021, 12:19 AM
Every couple of years let go on a free a talented young player so he can make loads of success and money for your rivals


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Man Down Under
15-09-2021, 01:12 AM
Struggling with the concept of 'shadows' is welcome.

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FilipinoHibs
15-09-2021, 02:48 AM
Partially complete seasons don't count if you are relegated but do if you are promoted.

cocteautwin
15-09-2021, 06:47 AM
Public share offerings should be paid for strictly in cash with no shares issued and the aforementioned cash to leave the stadium in an Asda bag on it's way to Lithuania.

ronaldo7
15-09-2021, 06:48 AM
Trousers, preferably jumbo maroon cords, must be worn pished.

Cardigans must button up to the top.


Saturday evening drinks in the BMC with the wife must be accompanied by the rover keys, ready for the plate.

Since90+2
15-09-2021, 06:57 AM
It really does eat them up knowing we've won the Scottish and League cups more recently than them. Add in the fact we've consistently finished above them for years and have a bigger stadium and actually own our training ground rather than rent one.

Glorious.

PatHead
15-09-2021, 07:19 AM
If you are losing a football discussion to a Hibby just make the 5-1 sign and walk away saying Big club.

DIXIHIBS
15-09-2021, 07:33 AM
Everytime time you talk to a hibby, assure him that wallace mercer didnt try to kill their club, he really just wanted to save them...

Since452
15-09-2021, 07:52 AM
Mention Hibs when signing a player or hiring a manager.

Since452
15-09-2021, 07:53 AM
Create a myth about your atmosphere when the reality is that its a library

Jones28
15-09-2021, 07:55 AM
Hearts were Jack Ross’ first choice which is why he chose Hibs.

Since452
15-09-2021, 08:03 AM
Not relegated but demoted.

Bostonhibby
15-09-2021, 08:10 AM
Beat St Mirren, relegate them and end the season after that.

Copyright some numpty on Kickback.

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Since90+2
15-09-2021, 08:13 AM
Beat St Mirren, relegate them and end the season after that.

Copyright some numpty on Kickback.

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That was absolutely brilliant.

Since452
15-09-2021, 08:15 AM
Beat St Mirren, relegate them and end the season after that.

Copyright some numpty on Kickback.

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That my friends is Karma

CL0762
15-09-2021, 08:26 AM
Not being able to train on your indoor state of the art training pitch because the uni hockey team booked it first.

AltheHibby
15-09-2021, 08:47 AM
Claim a special relationship with a real big club like a stalker does with their victim.

Bostonhibby
15-09-2021, 08:49 AM
Claim a special relationship with a real big club like a stalker does with their victim.Then,like Liverpool don't pay them money you owe them and they get to have their name on your creditors list, the List of Shame.

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lord bunberry
15-09-2021, 08:57 AM
Claim to be the famous and then find out your new manager has never heard of your tin pot club.

JimBHibees
15-09-2021, 09:06 AM
Claim to be the famous and then find out your new manager has never heard of your tin pot club.

That was brilliant then went on to say he had heard of Hibs because of Hecky. :faf::faf:

lord bunberry
15-09-2021, 09:09 AM
That was brilliant then went on to say he had heard of Hibs because of Hecky. :faf::faf:
I didn’t know that last bit, that’s even better. 😂

Bishop Hibee
15-09-2021, 10:00 AM
A cash cow is literal rather than a metaphor.

Danderhall Hibs
15-09-2021, 10:00 AM
Let Sir Tom pay off your poppy debts and then don’t thank or acknowledge him while pretending he didn’t.

PatHead
15-09-2021, 10:54 AM
We have 500000 fans

Pagan Hibernia
15-09-2021, 11:39 AM
Let Sir Tim pay off your poppy debts and then don’t thank or acknowledge him while pretending he didn’t.

what’s this one? Who?

jacomo
15-09-2021, 11:42 AM
Mention Hibs when signing a player or hiring a manager.


And when revealing your new strip, announcing hospitality packages, stadium changes, etc etc

Danderhall Hibs
15-09-2021, 11:50 AM
what’s this one? Who?

Sir Tom Farmer. Slight mistype.

LancsHibs
15-09-2021, 01:21 PM
Loving this thread. Just reading it makes you realise what a bunch of weirdos they are😂

007
15-09-2021, 05:13 PM
Lie

Pretty Boy
15-09-2021, 05:18 PM
No matter what your own failings, it's always St Mirrens fault. Blow the league, lose in Cup finals, get relegated. Blame St Mirren.

One Day Soon
15-09-2021, 05:39 PM
Cardigans are not just a popular beat combo.

One Day Soon
15-09-2021, 05:40 PM
Rover is not just a name for dogs.

gbhibby
15-09-2021, 05:47 PM
Bungalow is the house of choice, appropriate name for Hearts fans, nothing up top.

Eyrie
15-09-2021, 06:13 PM
A track suit is acceptable formal wear if combined with a tie and baseball cap.

bigwheel
15-09-2021, 06:15 PM
It is essential to have no real culture or art interests other than your local bingo hall

AltheHibby
15-09-2021, 06:41 PM
Blow your money on a new stand that's being built by a supporter of your biggest rivals,who then spends some of the profits on them.

Aldo
15-09-2021, 06:57 PM
A track suit is acceptable formal wear if combined with a tie and baseball cap.

And black slip on shoes!!


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andudare2
15-09-2021, 07:33 PM
Beat St Mirren, relegate them and end the season after that.

Copyright some numpty on Kickback.

Sent from my SM-A750FN using Tapatalkthis numpty?🤣🤣

Bostonhibby
15-09-2021, 07:34 PM
this numpty?[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji16]

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Irish_Steve
15-09-2021, 07:40 PM
Have about 50 billion players on your books cos that's what big teams do

007
15-09-2021, 07:47 PM
this numpty?🤣🤣

Nostra-dumb-ass

flash
15-09-2021, 08:25 PM
The first rule of Gorgie Rules is you never talk about Gorgie Rules.

jacomo
15-09-2021, 08:30 PM
this numpty?🤣🤣


Gashkauskis is now spending ‘the rest of their eternity’ regretting making such a fool of themselves… nah they’re not.

Gorgie rules says: bash on!

CraigHibee
15-09-2021, 09:02 PM
Being sponsored by wonga while bumping every company possible

Magpie
15-09-2021, 09:03 PM
Describing the manager who got you relegated as a diamond.

matty_f
15-09-2021, 09:17 PM
Have champagne on ice for every kick in the baws you receive.

Bostonhibby
15-09-2021, 09:32 PM
Have champagne on ice for every kick in the baws you receive.I think it was probably only Lambrini.

It's like when the guy was spouting off impressively about the top legal advice he had. Was telling all the dumplings that not only would they overturn their relegation for finishing bottom but they'd get millions in compensation too.

Turned out to be the less than accurate ramblings of a self important estate agent.

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Smartie
15-09-2021, 09:40 PM
The finest player of any generation is to be referred to as a “real Vanden Plas of a player”.

LongJohnBanger
15-09-2021, 09:48 PM
12) Sell lego bus that isn't made of lego. They'll never know.

gbhibby
15-09-2021, 09:54 PM
Make sure you call St Mirren, St Midden in your posts on kickback.
How dare they mock our feeder team from Paisley. 😁
There’s only one obika........

Greenfly
15-09-2021, 10:02 PM
It is essential to have no real culture or art interests other than your local bingo hall

But surely the huge pink plastic coo was an impressive art installation?

Pagan Hibernia
15-09-2021, 10:08 PM
If the wife fancies a meal out, it’s the Skyline restaurant at Tynecastle or nothing.

matty_f
15-09-2021, 10:09 PM
Kids won’t always want presents for Christmas, some will want you to put the money towards the football club.

EH6 Hibby
16-09-2021, 12:13 AM
It is compulsory to cry on balconies in Bulgaria after drawing a match.

Solo clapping in the plaza after cup final defeats is encouraged.

CL0762
16-09-2021, 12:21 AM
Refer to your city rivals as h1b5 and also add NLTF to the end of every post.

mixumatosis
16-09-2021, 04:08 AM
There is no "right" number of fingers or toes.

Libby Hibby
16-09-2021, 04:34 AM
Under no circumstance is it a slabbed area, it’s a plaza

Pretty Boy
16-09-2021, 06:24 AM
You must shoe horn comments about the attendances of Hibs and Aberdeen into any discussion on social media regardless of how nonsensical it is.

As an example if someone posts a picture of a sparsely attended junior game ask 'is that Hibs record attendance?'If a picture is shown of an impressive travelling support dismiss it as 'pish' and state 'Hearts would have taken more' even if there is barely a spare seat to be seen. Guaranteed social media acclamation from similarly minded simpletons.

Pretty Boy
16-09-2021, 06:27 AM
You must remind yourself and anyone who will listen that 'no derby matters after 2012' at any opportunity.

Losing a derby that subsequently saw Hibs go on to win the cup and you hound your manager out of the club should not prevent you saying this. Likewise getting really upset about defeats and really happy about wins should also not under any circumstances see you stop this charade and repeating the mantra.

gbhibby
16-09-2021, 06:32 AM
Always referring to the League cup as there wee cup in their posts cause they have not won it since the Cuban missile crisis. Teams that don't qualify for Europe have to play more games to win the League Cup than they do to win the Scottish Cup.

Glory Lurker
16-09-2021, 07:07 AM
Shame is shameful.

Bostonhibby
16-09-2021, 07:24 AM
But surely the huge pink plastic coo was an impressive art installation?Just something for the faithful to insert their small change into.

All big clubs do this .

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Bostonhibby
16-09-2021, 07:35 AM
Umbrellas and plastic sheets only in the Alfresco Press area.

It's not as if water and electrical items don't mix and it hardly ever rains in Scotland.

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Tricla
16-09-2021, 07:55 AM
Employ groomers and other weirdo's of that nature then get sponsored by 'Save the Children'. There's no irony in Gorgie Rules.

eastmainsmsh
16-09-2021, 08:44 AM
Mad vlad and new stands glass n clad

Since452
16-09-2021, 08:54 AM
Twirl a wooden rattle and pretend it's 1950.

Alfred E Newman
16-09-2021, 08:55 AM
Yellow cords are the business.

007
16-09-2021, 09:30 AM
If you get given a load of money, it doesn't matter what you spend it on, just spend it and don't worry about getting value for money. (The Michael Carroll School of Economics, 2002).

Juniper Greens
16-09-2021, 09:33 AM
Why have a big LED screen, when a small digital clock will do the same thing?

Irish_Steve
16-09-2021, 10:47 AM
Make sure that the Media area which all the electrics for laptops etc is completely exposed to the elements. That should keep those pesky reporters at bay

Since452
16-09-2021, 11:00 AM
When you haven't finished above Hibs in years, release a statement saying that Daniel Stendel's Barnsley once finished above Jack Ross's Sunderland. It's almost the same thing.

banchoryhibs
16-09-2021, 11:17 AM
18,177 is the same number as 20,990 - it's got to be as that's what we always get when we sell out a derby

Radium
16-09-2021, 11:27 AM
Twirl a wooden rattle and pretend it's 1950.

… might have to make it the late’50s and shout for the terrible trio.

… and if one of your greatest players has a testimonial, remember to bill them for the ball.


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FilipinoHibs
16-09-2021, 11:49 AM
You can win the cup and lose it to the same opponent in the same year.

h1bs4life
16-09-2021, 12:21 PM
Put up posters and stickers at the end of last season saying saying Budge and Robbie Replay out , only to go back in your box once Anderson invited onto the board in case if Budge goes he would to .

Skol
16-09-2021, 12:26 PM
1970s style office blocks with windows are actually a glass curtain

JohnMcM
16-09-2021, 01:18 PM
Have a team of FOH members constantly monitoring Wikipedia in case one of those naughty people down Leith way should edit the stadium capacity from 20000 to its real figure.

Since452
16-09-2021, 01:44 PM
Always hi-five supporters when leading a semi final 2-1 against 9 men with minutes to go.

flash
16-09-2021, 01:46 PM
The first rule of Gorgie Rules is you never talk about Gorgie Rules.

The second rule of Gorgie Rules is you don't talk about Gorgie Rules.

PatHead
16-09-2021, 01:49 PM
Always hi-five supporters when leading a semi final 2-1 against 9 men with minutes to go.

Surely hi six?

Ringothedog
16-09-2021, 01:57 PM
Yellow cords are the business.

Aye roond their necks

Hibernian Verse
16-09-2021, 02:38 PM
176) No Surrender.

andudare2
16-09-2021, 02:52 PM
No problem in wanting to rebuild other stands to take capacity to 30/40K,even although the 8th wonder of the world new stand is still not finished after 4/5years,after all they are the big team who proudly sit joint 2nd although in real terms are 3rd.

Eyrie
16-09-2021, 09:50 PM
The off cuts from the bowling club bar carpet will make a nice jacket for the missus.

Irish_Steve
17-09-2021, 11:49 AM
Bask in the glory that the only league you will win is the statement league

Allez Hibs
17-09-2021, 11:52 AM
Bask in the glory that the only league you will win is the statement league

To be fair don't Sevco win that by a mile?

Jones28
17-09-2021, 12:34 PM
176) No Surrender.

Should that not rule 1690?

PatHead
17-09-2021, 02:08 PM
Bask in the glory that the only league you will win is the statement league

Or the discipline league if you put the teams with the most fouls at the top

bigwheel
17-09-2021, 02:58 PM
Another Gorgie Rule :

when Hearts get beat, we stop our FOH payments , when Hearts win , we give more to FOH

Bostonhibby
17-09-2021, 04:22 PM
The off cuts from the bowling club bar carpet will make a nice jacket for the missus.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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One Day Soon
17-09-2021, 05:34 PM
The finest player of any generation is to be referred to as a “real Vanden Plas of a player”.

:tee hee:

Alfred E Newman
17-09-2021, 05:41 PM
The off cuts from the bowling club bar carpet will make a nice jacket for the missus.

Provided it's mostly maroon.

weecounty hibby
17-09-2021, 05:57 PM
Giant Casio digital clocks are better than giant screens that feedback actual moving pictures

Lancs Harp
17-09-2021, 08:08 PM
Nothing to add except Ive just spent a good ten minutes reading this thread and its made me laugh the most Ive laughed all week. :greengrin

gbhibby
17-09-2021, 08:23 PM
Gorgie Rules announce that Hearts are going to install Led screens that will be bigger than Hibs but find out they are only 56m2.

007
17-09-2021, 08:24 PM
Gorgie Rules announce that Hearts are going to install Led screens that will be bigger than Hibs but find out they are only 56m2.

But will tell everyone they're 60m².

Lancs Harp
17-09-2021, 08:26 PM
Not only can you see the castle from tinycastle but you can also see tiny castle from the big castle.

gbhibby
17-09-2021, 10:04 PM
Hearts remind you of the man that boasts he is 8 inches when he really only 6 inches.

Jones28
17-09-2021, 10:22 PM
Hibs is wrong. Hearts is not wrongs.

CloudSquall
17-09-2021, 11:50 PM
Playing Champions League music as if you've made the actual tournament is a must even if what you've actually made is the 2nd qualifying round.

Pedantic_Hibee
18-09-2021, 07:14 AM
Hearts remind you of the man that boasts he is 8 inches when he really only 6 inches.

Keep me out of this. Thank you.

Pretty Boy
18-09-2021, 07:24 AM
A converted garden shed and a Calor gas heater is an adequate setting to name in honour of a club legend.

A one tier stand can definitely be split into upper and lower tiers.

Ex players who deny making and refuse to apologise for a racist gesture despite being caught on camera are perfectly qualified to be anti racism campaigners.

Pedantic_Hibee
18-09-2021, 07:44 AM
It’s perfectly normal to lend yourself £10 and either repay yourself £15 or alternatively, not repay it at all.

Bostonhibby
18-09-2021, 08:24 AM
Always call your charity BIG Hearts.

It shows up prominently on subsequent creditors lists.

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gbhibby
18-09-2021, 09:07 AM
Keep me out of this. Thank you.
You told me yours was a foot but you don't use it as a rule. 😁😁😁