Good parenting.

[Jim44]

Listening to early morning radio just now, they were talking about things, in today’s world, parents take for granted that their kids will know, when, in reality, if you don’t actually teach them skills and procedures, they don’t have a clue. One example was sending your kid to buy and use stamps and another was procedures of stopping a bus, buying a ticket and how to stop the bus to get off. Simple things many parent’s wouldn’t think necessary. Any other examples?

[Hibrandenburg]

Teach your kid dangerous things. The modern world gets about as dangerous as pressing the wrong button on an iPad. We've removed almost all risk to childhood meaning kids are missing out on valuable lessons on risk assessment and the consequences of wrong choices and how to recover from them.

Teach your kids how to make a fire and keep it under control, use knives to cut and make things, drive the car, cook with fat, burn **** with a magnifying glass and climb trees.

Good idea for a thread.

[vein]

Not sure if this one fits but the one that’s most important to me as a parent is teaching my kids to have good manners. Winds me up something rotten if I don’t hear a please or thank you.

[Hibrandenburg]

I'd kind of hope that teaching your kids good manners is a given. If you can't teach your kids how to interact with other humans on a civil basis, then maybe you shouldn't have kids.

[Future17]

Listening to early morning radio just now, they were talking about things, in today’s world, parents take for granted that their kids will know, when, in reality, if you don’t actually teach them skills and procedures, they don’t have a clue. One example was sending your kid to buy and use stamps and another was procedures of stopping a bus, buying a ticket and how to stop the bus to get off. Simple things many parent’s wouldn’t think necessary. Any other examples?

I might be wrong, but I think kids will learn what they see, hear and experience (and inevitably ask questions about)! If they've experienced a parent or carer regularly buying and using stamps, or travelling on a bus, then they'll learn these things partly by osmosis.

With that in mind, I think the most important thing is to spend time with your kids and talk to them. I don't really subscribe to the "no electronic devices" argument, but I would say time using them should be limited if it risks kids experiencing and learning in the "real" world.

[Jim44]

I might be wrong, but I think kids will learn what they see, hear and experience (and inevitably ask questions about)! If they've experienced a parent or carer regularly buying and using stamps, or travelling on a bus, then they'll learn these things partly by osmosis.

With that in mind, I think the most important thing is to spend time with your kids and talk to them. I don't really subscribe to the "no electronic devices" argument, but I would say time using them should be limited if it risks kids experiencing and learning in the "real" world.

I agree with your first point, but the point that was being made was that many parents, nowadays, don’t regularly buy stamps, if at all and rarely travel on buses, if at all, so osmosis sometimes doesn’t get the opportunity to happen.

[Ozyhibby]

Consistency. I try show them that consistent effort over time is the most important thing if you want to achieve anything.


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[Killiehibbie]

Consistency. I try show them that consistent effort over time is the most important thing if you want to achieve anything.


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Only if best practice is used.

[Jim44]

Interesting discussion about the mechanics of learning but I think originally they were talking about actual examples of habits, procedures and everyday behaviour which children are missing out on because of parents rarely or even ever practising because of a changing world.

[Pretty Boy]

I'm always amazed at the number of kids who seem to lack basic manners. That comes from parents and I would argue is derivative of an erosion of good manners in general. My daughter is 3 and saying please and thank you is just second nature to her. If she doesn't we gently correct her 'Can I have a.... what?' if she asks for something and doesn't say please. 'What do you say?' is she gets something and doesn't say thanks. It's so natural to her now we barely ever have to correct. We also remind her not to interrupt and she's very good at saying 'excuse me'. She also gets properly affronted is someone doesn't say 'bless you' after a sneeze.

She's a proper little whizz kid on the Ipad and Xbox which is definetely a generational thing, it's not something anyone of us would have know at that age. I can't really think of an obvious real world example of something I knew how to do as a child that my own child doesn't know now. With things like buying stamps, kids don't learn it now because it's increasingly obsolete; most of them will know how to send an email at a very early age which is the modern day equivalent.

[Ozyhibby]

I can't really think of an obvious real world example of something I knew how to do as a child that my own child doesn't know now.


https://youtu.be/oHNEzndgiFI


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[stu in nottingham]

Decent handwriting, spelling and punctuation.

[Northernhibee]

I used to manage a Blockbuster video store and was amazed how many parents would use the line "You'd better behave or the man behind the counter will get you". At least once an hour - the job of apprehending misbehaving children isn't the job of a shop employee or the like, it's the job of the parent.

When I handed my notice in and was leaving I asked someone to leave when they used the term "the bad man will get you" as that's not only neglectful parenting but insulting to the person trying to do their job. Petty but I was leaving at that point anyway and maybe unlike economy the "trickle down" method may work :greengrin

I also remember being behind the counter and was aware of a DVD box that went flying past my head. A little **** of a child had thrown it right at me with as much force as he could muster and the mother just said "If you don't behave you won't get pick and mix to go with your DVD". They also got asked to leave.

[Andy74]

Chewing with your mouth closed. Not much else matters after that.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

To treat people the same way that you expect to be treated back. Better to be disappointed in other people's behaviour, than your own.

[Scouse Hibee]

The same things I learnt from my parents, manners, respect, integrity, honesty and many more, these things only skip a generation if you allow them to. As for screen time, I often see it used a lazy option rather than interacting with a child. Far too many shove a screen in front of them to keep them quiet. Screen time has it’s place in these modern times to a point.

[Northernhibee]

As for things that need to be taught that are in danger of being forgotten, a general sense of direction. Google Maps is all good and well but if your battery runs out or you can't get signal, being able to get somewhere by gut instinct is vital. I've been helping out with delivery driving in my job recently due to COVID changing the way we work, and it's amazing how you not only know how to get to the places we deliver to, but from driving past road signs and paying attention rather than waiting for a prompt from your app you learn how to get to most places.

[Future17]

I agree with your first point, but the point that was being made was that many parents, nowadays, don’t regularly buy stamps, if at all and rarely travel on buses, if at all, so osmosis sometimes doesn’t get the opportunity to happen.

Ah right, I get you now. :aok:

I'm struggling to think of any examples that aren't purely a result of advances in technology. This is a bit premature but I think this year has brought us significantly closer to the end of paper money. My son is 6 months' old and I wonder if he'll ever have cause to use a cash machine.

[Ozyhibby]

Ah right, I get you now. :aok:

I'm struggling to think of any examples that aren't purely a result of advances in technology. This is a bit premature but I think this year has brought us significantly closer to the end of paper money. My son is 6 months' old and I wonder if he'll ever have cause to use a cash machine.

He may never learn to drive either. I think driverless cars are less than 16 years away.


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[Future17]

As for things that need to be taught that are in danger of being forgotten, a general sense of direction. Google Maps is all good and well but if your battery runs out or you can't get signal, being able to get somewhere by gut instinct is vital. I've been helping out with delivery driving in my job recently due to COVID changing the way we work, and it's amazing how you not only know how to get to the places we deliver to, but from driving past road signs and paying attention rather than waiting for a prompt from your app you learn how to get to most places.

This is a bit of a tangent, but do you think a sense of direction can be taught? My wife can navigate without difficulty but she can't find her way back to the entrance of a shop if we've been in it for more than 10 mins.

[Future17]

He may never learn to drive either. I think driverless cars are less than 16 years away.


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I agree they're not far away, but I think people will always drive for enjoyment so the option to learn will always be there.

[Peevemor]

Ah right, I get you now. :aok:

I'm struggling to think of any examples that aren't purely a result of advances in technology. This is a bit premature but I think this year has brought us significantly closer to the end of paper money. My son is 6 months' old and I wonder if he'll ever have cause to use a cash machine.I know it's mostly down to the virus, lockdowns, etc.,, but I haven't withdrawn cash since August.

[MyJo]

Decent handwriting, spelling and punctuation.

My youngest is being taught cursive handwriting in school just now and he can’t stand it but i honestly don’t really see the point in it any more if I’m being honest.

I can’t remember the last time I had to actually write something that wasn’t just for my own reading afterwards, anything that is for someone else the read is typed and then printed or sent electronically.

[Peevemor]

My youngest is being taught cursive handwriting in school just now and he can’t stand it but i honestly don’t really see the point in it any more if I’m being honest.

I can’t remember the last time I had to actually write something that wasn’t just for my own reading afterwards, anything that is for someone else the read is typed and then printed or sent electronically.It's still on the primary school curriculum here that kids learn to write with fountain/cartridge pense. I spoke with the teacher to say that I wouldn't take kindly to her penalising my left handed daughter for making an mess of things, especially in this day and age. To be fair she agreed with me 100%

[Ozyhibby]

I agree they're not far away, but I think people will always drive for enjoyment so the option to learn will always be there.

I think insurance will be prohibitive for Human drivers once much safer driverless cars are on the road. People used to enjoy riding horses but we don’t let them on the roads anymore. Times change.


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[danhibees1875]

My youngest is being taught cursive handwriting in school just now and he can’t stand it but i honestly don’t really see the point in it any more if I’m being honest.

I can’t remember the last time I had to actually write something that wasn’t just for my own reading afterwards, anything that is for someone else the read is typed and then printed or sent electronically.

Birthday/Christmas/Thank you cards?

Otherwise I'm the same, I just scribble notes for my own use.

[lapsedhibee]

It's still on the primary school curriculum here that kids learn to write with fountain/cartridge pense. I spoke with the teacher to say that I wouldn't take kindly to her penalising my left handed daughter for making an mess of things, especially in this day and age. To be fair she agreed with me 100%

Is beating your daughter until she learns to write properly with her right hand not an option any more then?

[matty_f]

I don’t think it’s easy to parent kids these days, certainly not as easy as it is to judge parents.

I’ve got three kids, my son is 17 and is a really good lad, it’s not been plain sailing getting him here but honestly, i couldn’t really be more proud of him now. He swears a bit more than I’d like (but then so do i, so i can’t really complain).

My youngest is 11 and is a really nice kid, funny, kind, considerate...

My teenage daughter is a nightmare. She’s pals with kids who are wild, and they are a much bigger influence on her values right now than either me or my wife are. It feels like all we do is get on at her because we can’t accept how she speaks or behaves. It’s horrible. She literally has values that are the polar opposite of how she’s been brought up.

I hope it’s just a case of being a rebellious teenager because she went from being a great wee girl to a young woman who i honestly (and this is a horrible thing to say as a parent) struggle to find a kind word to say about. It was undoubtedly her choice of social group that changed her.

The other two kids have great groups of friends, good kids who are equally polite and conscientious, but her friends are a nightmare and she brings it home with her all the time.

It would be easy for someone seeing her to assume that her mum and i have not taught her manners, or values, or how to be nice, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

[Jim44]

My youngest is being taught cursive handwriting in school just now and he can’t stand it but i honestly don’t really see the point in it any more if I’m being honest.

I can’t remember the last time I had to actually write something that wasn’t just for my own reading afterwards, anything that is for someone else the read is typed and then printed or sent electronically.

I can see where you’re coming from and can’t argue against it, but I find it a wee bit sad that the art of handwriting, a fundamental skill in our development and ability to communicate, might be past it’s sell by date. I hope you’re not a prospective teacher or headmaster. :greengrin

[MyJo]

Birthday/Christmas/Thank you cards?

Otherwise I'm the same, I just scribble notes for my own use.

Normally use Moonpig but if I do write someone a birthday or Christmas card and they moan about my handwriting they can expect not to get any more in the future :greengrin

[MyJo]

I can see where you’re coming from and can’t argue against it, but I find it a wee bit sad that the art of handwriting, a fundamental skill in our development and ability to communicate, might be past it’s sell by date. I hope you’re not a prospective teacher or headmaster. :greengrin

Nope but I do write letters to people for a living :greengrin

[stu in nottingham]

My youngest is being taught cursive handwriting in school just now and he can’t stand it but i honestly don’t really see the point in it any more if I’m being honest.

I can’t remember the last time I had to actually write something that wasn’t just for my own reading afterwards, anything that is for someone else the read is typed and then printed or sent electronically.

I can see your point also but I don't really share that view. When we write by hand our brain engages differently as opposed to when using a keyboard. Research has shown that writing improves memory and that students retain learning better.

Writing by hand assists us in slowing down and engaging fully with our thoughts. Our thoughts also need to pause and 'breathe' and handwrriting helps with this.

Handwriting is also unique to each individual, indeed our signatures are by their very nature a personal statement. Handwritten notes can also be much more personal and intimate.

Being able to write freely and effortlessly is an asset to learning. It enables us to focus more fully on the topic.

I use a keyboard all day and write more minimally but I wouldn't want to be without that ability. Apart from the above benefits, I don't like to rely on machinery and IT to the point I'm helpless without it.

Don't get me started on spelling and punctuation. :greengrin

[Future17]

I think insurance will be prohibitive for Human drivers once much safer driverless cars are on the road. People used to enjoy riding horses but we don’t let them on the roads anymore. Times change.


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I hadn't really thought about that...but it's a bit dystopian.

Although we do still allow horses on the roads. :greengrin

[Peevemor]

I can see your point also but I don't really share that view. When we write by hand our brain engages differently as opposed to when using a keyboard. Research has shown that writing improves memory and that students retain learning better.

Writing by hand assists us in slowing down and engaging fully with our thoughts. Our thoughts also need to pause and 'breathe' and handwrriting helps with this.

Handwriting is also unique to each individual, indeed our signatures are by their very nature a personal statement. Handwritten notes can also be much more personal and intimate.

Being able to write freely and effortlessly is an asset to learning. It enables us to focus more fully on the topic.

I use a keyboard all day and write more minimally but I wouldn't want to be without that ability. Apart from the above benefits, I don't like to rely on machinery and IT to the point I'm helpless without it.

Don't get me started on spelling and punctuation. :greengrin

I agree with all that. It's the thing that, more than anything else, really bothered me when I moved to France - the written word. I went from being a "go to" in the office for letter writing & proof reading to having the level of an 8 year old (in French). Even now, after 16 years, I'm painfully slow at formulating properly structured sentences.

IT has definitely been detrimental. We know longer have to learn to spell and e-mails & text messages are twisting and abbreviating language beyond recognition.

I draw buildings for a living, and what you say about lack of time for reflection also applies. Obviously we've gained in productivity, but we're also much faster at churning out errors and shoddy work, often due to hasty cutting and pasting.

At the end of the day or week you may well have produced a stonking big pile of paper, but is the content any good?

[lapsedhibee]

I agree with all that. It's the thing that, more than anything else, really bothered me when I moved to France - the written word. I went from being a "go to" in the office for letter writing & proof reading to having the level of an 8 year old (in French). Even now, after 16 years, I'm painfully slow at formulating properly structured sentences.

IT has definitely been detrimental. We know longer have to learn to spell and e-mails & text messages are twisting and abbreviating language beyond recognition.

I draw buildings for a living, and what you say about lack of time for reflection also applies. Obviously we've gained in productivity, but we're also much faster at churning out errors and shoddy work, often due to hasty cutting and pasting.

Rees-Mogg's a clown but he wasn't entirely wrong when in a call for accuracy he told staff: "CHECK your work." :wink:

[Future17]

I agree with all that. It's the thing that, more than anything else, really bothered me when I moved to France - the written word. I went from being a "go to" in the office for letter writing & proof reading to having the level of an 8 year old (in French). Even now, after 16 years, I'm painfully slow at formulating properly structured sentences.

IT has definitely been detrimental. We know longer have to learn to spell and e-mails & text messages are twisting and abbreviating language beyond recognition.

I draw buildings for a living, and what you say about lack of time for reflection also applies. Obviously we've gained in productivity, but we're also much faster at churning out errors and shoddy work, often due to hasty cutting and pasting.

At the end of the day or week you may well have produced a stonking big pile of paper, but is the content any good?

I hope that was deliberate. :greengrin

[Peevemor]

I hope that was deliberate. :greengrin

Just checking you're paying attention.

[Future17]

Just checking you're paying attention.

Oui. :greengrin

[McD]

I can see where you’re coming from and can’t argue against it, but I find it a wee bit sad that the art of handwriting, a fundamental skill in our development and ability to communicate, might be past it’s sell by date. I hope you’re not a prospective teacher or headmaster. :greengrin


I would have thought there’s an element of hand eye coordination development for young children learning to write as well