Statement League

[Keith_M]

Is anybody keeping track of this for the current season?

I just wondered what the latest standings were


:wink:

[Bostonhibby]

It's been a great season for excitement in this league, it's really a two horse race between sevco and newly relegated Hearts.

It's being typically mishandled by the SPFL. Where else but Scotland would you see a popular successful league like this one being subjected to a reconstruction review by the owner of one of the 2 clubs competing for the title.

Sevconians everywhere should be demanding Budge's immediate removal from the review. FFS it's once again sevco's only hope of a title.

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[Gloucester Hibs]

It’s been off the scale this season, with concomitant hilarity!

[Billy Whizz]

It’s not the number of statement we should be counting, it’s the words per statement
Seem to be getting longer and longer

Think the OP should be counting all the words per statement, then put up the Words league😄

[SideBurns]

It’s not the number of statement we should be counting, it’s the words per statement
Seem to be getting longer and longer

Think the OP should be counting all the words per statement, then put up the Words league😄

Would the words not be like goal difference, ie only relevant in the event teams finish level on statements?

Imagine Hearts were 1 statement and 5 words ahead going into the last week of the season - they couldn't lose that lead, surely...

[Scorrie]

Partick Thistle have issued a statement but it is rather dignified. Do they qualify for the Statement League?

[Bostonhibby]

Partick Thistle have issued a statement but it is rather dignified. Do they qualify for the Statement League?Best losers?

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[Keith_M]

It’s not the number of statement we should be counting, it’s the words per statement
Seem to be getting longer and longer

Think the OP should be counting all the words per statement, then put up the Words league😄


Aw come on, Billy, I've not got that much time on my hands!

[Onion]

Need to also measure buzz word usage

surrender
sporting integrity
loyal
investigation
strongly
relegation

[nonshinyfinish]

Need to also measure buzz word usage

surrender
sporting integrity
loyal
investigation
strongly
relegation

Bonus points for concomitant use of several of them.

[Keith_M]

Hearts are keeping up their challenge in the Statement League.


Hearts move to clarify controversial Ann Budge comments over SPFL title wins (https://www.heraldscotland.com/sport/18389054.hearts-move-clarify-controversial-ann-budge-comments-spfl-title-wins/?action=success#comments-feedback-anchor)

[Scorrie]

Hearts are keeping up their challenge in the Statement League.


Hearts move to clarify controversial Ann Budge comments over SPFL title wins (https://www.heraldscotland.com/sport/18389054.hearts-move-clarify-controversial-ann-budge-comments-spfl-title-wins/?action=success#comments-feedback-anchor)

Not sure if a Statement to clarify a Statement counts in this League

[Keith_M]

Not sure if a Statement to clarify a Statement counts in this League


OK, three points for a Statement and one point for a 'Clarification Statement'?

[Bostonhibby]

Not sure if a Statement to clarify a Statement counts in this LeagueCheating again, they just can't help themselves. Maybe Budge is angling to get the statement league reconstructed as well.

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[makaveli1875]

It’s been off the scale this season, with concomitant hilarity!

it Beggars belief , be good to see which particular club is top

[chippy]

Could see Hibs getting relegated from the statement league as we just don’t do enough , perhaps a task force led by Leanne could keep us up?

[danhibees1875]

Could see Hibs getting relegated from the statement league as we just don’t do enough , perhaps a task force led by Leanne could keep us up?

We spend a lot of money on people to write statements. Just because they haven't doesn't mean we should be relegated.

[Galahibby]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200418/ff24fae1ff8d587ad9ef79668b91286d.jpg

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[jacomo]

Hearts are keeping up their challenge in the Statement League.


Hearts move to clarify controversial Ann Budge comments over SPFL title wins (https://www.heraldscotland.com/sport/18389054.hearts-move-clarify-controversial-ann-budge-comments-spfl-title-wins/?action=success#comments-feedback-anchor)


For the avoidance of doubt it’s very simple but for some reason people keep on misconstruing the things Budge says as her opinions, whereas in fact Budge should be allowed to change her opinions and indeed the facts due to the day of the week or how previous statements have been received. Contradictory and nonsensical ramblings are nothing of the sort and Budge is both doing whatever she can to further Hearts’ agenda and simultaneously astounded that clubs are not putting aside self interest, in the interest of Hearts, sorry, fairness.

It’s very clear!

[DickEDastardly]

Need to also measure buzz word usage

surrender
sporting integrity
loyal
investigation
strongly
relegation

I think we’re missing a visual aspect to this exciting league. Word cloud versions of statements is particularly satisfying for the jambos and relegation writ large!!!http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/5e9c04fea46c1/****bos%20relegation%20word%20cloud.jpg?
http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/5e9c0507ba74d/The%20the%20rankers.jpg?


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[DickEDastardly]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200419/5f5d7c92aecac0a7ffcd5f33dbff9d86.jpg
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200419/366f94e25e083dac963b12e29abb13f5.jpg


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[Jakhog1]

The only statements they should be worrying about is their bank ones

[Keith_M]

If you want to keep up to date with Statements, you can now register online with the SFPL


https://www.sfpl.co.uk/online-statements/

[HiBremian]

If you want to keep up to date with Statements, you can now register online with the SFPL


https://www.sfpl.co.uk/online-statements/

damn dyslexia :greengrin

[Keith_M]

damn dyslexia :greengrin



:greengrin

[theonlywayisup]

Is anybody keeping track of this for the current season?

I just wondered what the latest standings were


:wink:

It's pretty close at the top, below from the 15th May 2020.

The Rangers have a narrow lead, but a special mention must go to The Hertz who are leading the word count. All could change tomorrow!

Maybe suggest that we save the next few statements here so that we can have a chuckle.

Pretty disappointed that the Hibs are nowhere to be seen. Well, not really.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYFNmWqWkAEyRAZ?format=jpg&name=large

[Joe6-2]

It's pretty close at the top, below from the 15th May 2020.

The Rangers have a narrow lead, but a special mention must go to The Hertz who are leading the word count. All could change tomorrow!

Maybe suggest that we save the next few statements here so that we can have a chuckle.

Pretty disappointed that the Hibs are nowhere to be seen. Well, not really.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYFNmWqWkAEyRAZ?format=jpg&name=large

👍

[Keith_M]

Well, going by that table, Hibs really need to up their game.

[Scorrie]

Well, going by that table, Hibs really need to up their game.

Petrie 😡

[jacomo]

The size of Hearts’ investment (in words) should surely mean that the trophy is theirs?!

Also they get points for the sheer ridiculousness of their STATEMENTS but other players have really upped their game in recent weeks.

[hibbyfraelibby]

On an average words per statement basis it looks like Albion win the league.

On a number basis then the Thes just edge it.

On the sheer amount of waffle the weight of words favours the soon to be Administered Gorgie Dalry Dodgers

[nonshinyfinish]

On an average words per statement basis it looks like Albion win the league.

:confused:

Assuming you're just dividing number of words by number of statements, Stirling Albion are only just scraping into Europe. By that measure St Mirren are champions, with Hearts and Livi both also finishing above Albion:



Club
Words
Statements
Words per statement


St Mirren
8939
13
688


Hearts
10241
15
683


Livingston
4726
8
591


Stirling Albion
4658
8
582


SPFL
8364
15
558


The Rangers
8025
16
502


Partick Thistle
6253
13
481


Falkirk
4213
9
468


Dundee
3762
9
418


Forfar
3722
9
414


Clyde
5725
15
382


Dundee Utd
3742
10
374


Aberdeen
4081
11
371


St Johnstone
3778
12
315


Dumbarton
4223
15
282


Ayr Utd
2258
9
251



All to play for tomorrow mind.

[jacomo]

Ooft it’s tight at the top of the words per statement league.

[Eyrie]

Just when Hearts think they have a chance, St Mirren get involved. It's like 1986 or 2013 or 2020 all over again.

[Bostonhibby]

If we end up bottom by virtue of not having enough windbags at the very top I swear I'll do time.

What's needed here is a thorough review, let's call it the Wordings Task Force, led by someone with a real vested interest in the outcome who will manage their own deadline but ultimately forget to deliver anything because they've spent the entire time writing statements.

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[lapsedhibee]

If, there's a tie ... in statements (!) and in words, per, "statement", will random punctuation marks be, taken ... into account?

[Keith_M]

Does "we will not be bullied into silence" count as a statement?

[nonshinyfinish]

If, there's a tie ... in statements (!) and in words, per, "statement", will random punctuation marks be, taken ... into account?

Interesting. I think it's now a near certainty that Scottish football's next battleground will be whether an ellipsis counts as three separate characters (...), as that's how most people (including Budge) type it, or whether it should be assumed to be an error in lieu of the correct typographical character (…), which would only count as one.

[Oscar T Grouch]

Does "we will not be bullied into silence" count as a statement?

That was a tweet not a statement but it was a reposting of a previous statement by their official site so I would count said statement again in the league table 👍🏻

[Saint Hibee]

https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Hearts race back to the top!

[Peevemor]

https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Hearts race back to the top!

"Expel" - what a bunch of fannies!

Also - "Hearts will shortly submit a member’s resolution that we believe is a pragmatic solution to the issues the game currently faces and a way forward that the clubs can unite behind." - Ann, Ann, Ann... never a preposition end a sentence with!

[nonshinyfinish]

https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Hearts race back to the top!

But at a meagre 305 words, they've done serious damage to their words average.

Must be confident of an unopposed victory on number of statements.

[Sammy7nil]

Statement incoming summary - positive talks held, SPFL change yer mind or see in court https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

[04Sauzee]

https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Hearts race back to the top!

https://twitter.com/ScotlandSky/status/1248271553386680320?s=19

[Sir David Gray]

https://www.heartsfc.co.uk/news/article/club-statement-1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Hearts race back to the top!

Expelled!

Since when was this a school? :faf:

[hibby rae]

Expelled!

Since when was this a school? :faf:

Remember, after the last St Mirren game, when all those Jambos admitted they couldn't see any way out of it, and they were definitely going to be 'expelled' 😂😂

[lapsedhibee]

But at a meagre 305 words, they've done serious damage to their words average.

Must be confident of an unopposed victory on number of statements.

What they should be more confident of is that if there were to be any sort of tie whatsoever they would come out on top only if the rules remained as they were the last time Hearts were involved in a tie, or as they would become the next time Hearts were involved in a tie.

This we know from history.

[hibsbollah]

16 statements since lockdown. So that’s approximately a statement every 3 days from the huns :faf: (and similar from Hertz).

It really beggars belief that these particular clubs concomitantly conspire to expel such a lot of wordage that actually means the square root of **** all.

[Keith_M]

Could we have an update on your league table, please.

Hearts are surely top now





....

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYFNmWqWkAEyRAZ?format=jpg&name=large

[PatHead]

Do we not get any credit for positive statements like the NHS logo or refunds for last season's season tickets. Is it only muppetry statements that apply?

[The 90+2]

Is that actually a proper table ? Why have St Johnstone made 12 statements?

[snedzuk]

If Hearts tie at the top of this, can we have it settled on word average and then if theres a tie again next season, on word difference?

[Keith_M]

Is that actually a proper table ? Why have St Johnstone made 12 statements?


I'm not sure about the rest of them but they did have one last month regarding their club mascot (https://www.perthstjohnstonefc.co.uk/news/post/saints-sign-panda-brogan-moves-on)

[theonlywayisup]

Could we have an update on your league table, please.

Hearts are surely top now


Don't know how to link a twitter page, but search @lewi****mings statement league. Don't think it's been updated yet.

Having a nightmare with the swear filter!!!

[Liberal Hibby]

:confused:

Assuming you're just dividing number of words by number of statements, Stirling Albion are only just scraping into Europe. By that measure St Mirren are champions, with Hearts and Livi both also finishing above Albion:



Club
Words
Statements
Words per statement


St Mirren
8939
13
688


Hearts
10241
15
683


Livingston
4726
8
591


Stirling Albion
4658
8
582


SPFL
8364
15
558


The Rangers
8025
16
502


Partick Thistle
6253
13
481


Falkirk
4213
9
468


Dundee
3762
9
418


Forfar
3722
9
414


Clyde
5725
15
382


Dundee Utd
3742
10
374


Aberdeen
4081
11
371


St Johnstone
3778
12
315


Dumbarton
4223
15
282


Ayr Utd
2258
9
251



All to play for tomorrow mind.

I think your table is upside down - surely those at the top should be those with the most efficient use of words - so the lowest average words per statement? We don't want to reward windbaggery.

[One Day Soon]

The real intangible is the sheer dumbass quotient at work within statements and that's quite difficult to measure. For example, the post 2016 cup final statement(s) from The Rangers were of such a quality that they were probably competition winning statements in their own right regardless of any others issued.

For the purist I would suggest the key indicator has to be volume of statements (Pts - for being ouanquers), followed by length of statement (Goal Difference- volumeof ouanquer goals conceded), followed by frequency of statement (how regularly you are being ouanquers).

[Tomsk]

23390

[nonshinyfinish]

I think your table is upside down - surely those at the top should be those with the most efficient use of words - so the lowest average words per statement? We don't want to reward windbaggery.

Of course, another jealous hobo with no understanding of sporting integrity. Hearts have spent thousands of words trying to drag themselves up the table, and you want to favour Hamilton or some other diddy team who've done more with a modest word budget. They're barely even trying!

Think of the lexicographical losses they'll suffer if expelled from the league? Luckily the gofundme has almost raised enough words to cover their opening statement in court.

[Liberal Hibby]

Of course, another jealous hobo with no understanding of sporting integrity. Hearts have spent thousands of words trying to drag themselves up the table, and you want to favour Hamilton or some other diddy team who've done more with a modest word budget. They're barely even trying!

Think of the lexicographical losses they'll suffer if expelled from the league? Luckily the gofundme has almost raised enough words to cover their opening statement in court.

:top marks

But it really is Dumbarton who should be the comparator not Hamilton. 15 statements and such lexicogical consistency and efficiency.

[Keith_M]

Surely Hearts deserve a star above their badge for winning the Statement League by such a large margin?


:cup:

[Bostonhibby]

Surely Hearts deserve a star above their badge for winning the Statement League by such a large margin?


:cup:Yep clean sweep.

Most statements

Most crass statements

Longest statements

Longest statements without any punctuation

Worst grammar overall

Worst grammar in a single statement

Largest single word ever used in a statement

Most inappropriate word ever used in a statement.

Most repetitive statements

Best contradictory statements

Best supporting statement - for their role in demonising Partick Thistle.

There must be others.



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[hibsbollah]

A prize must surely be awarded for contradicting yourself in separate statements on the same day? One morning she’s ‘surprised and angry’ at the outcome, by the afternoon she’s ‘sadly not surprised’.

And of course ‘but as we all know, it is winning the war that counts.” Clearly suggests she does actually think HMFC won the war themselves. I mean, we all joked that they thought that as a wind up, but there it is in writing :faf:

[Keith_M]

A prize must surely be awarded for contradicting yourself in separate statements on the same day? One morning she’s ‘surprised and angry’ at the outcome, by the afternoon she’s ‘sadly not surprised’.

And of course ‘but as we all know, it is winning the war that counts.” Clearly suggests she does actually think HMFC won the war themselves. I mean, we all joked that they thought that as a wind up, but there it is in writing :faf:


I know, i honestly thought it was a wind-up when somebody posted it on here.

I'm still struggling a bit to believe that they actually came out with that crap.

[jacomo]

A prize must surely be awarded for contradicting yourself in separate statements on the same day? One morning she’s ‘surprised and angry’ at the outcome, by the afternoon she’s ‘sadly not surprised’.

And of course ‘but as we all know, it is winning the war that counts.” Clearly suggests she does actually think HMFC won the war themselves. I mean, we all joked that they thought that as a wind up, but there it is in writing :faf:


Budge’s astute leadership had already secured the statement league trophy, but she still smashed it out of the park with this week’s efforts.

Mark of a true champion: she just doesn’t know when to give up.