Horrendous Christmas dinners

[H18 SFR]

Another year and another plate of absolute ***** served up at the in-laws. Absolute *****!

How do you break it to the wife that you simply can't stomach it every year?

[wpj]

Haha, this should be on the bah humbug thread. How bad was it? I'm cooking for one so can only have one pi$$ed off person. What went wrong?

[H18 SFR]

It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.

[Pretty Boy]

I've taken over cooking duties in recent years. Guarantees I'm satisfied even if no one else is.

[pollution]

It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.


Beef gravy with turkey. Never heard of that before.

Sounds wrong.

[H18 SFR]

After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

[BroxburnHibee]

No problems with Christmas dinner at mine. I love cooking it :greengrin

[Pretty Boy]

After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

That's literally unforgivable. It's just lazy.

[Bostonhibby]

Couple of years back my mate drove from lincolshire to Kent to his mother in law's for xmas dinner. Wasn't looking forward to it.

On the journey down he said to his wife that he wasn't looking forward to seeing ******* burnt sausages on the plate as usual.

When the dinner arrived his 5 year old who'd been in the back of the car picked a sausage off his plate and said Dad,dad it's ******* burnt sausages again. There was only about a dozen folk at the table[emoji16]



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[heretoday]

After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

These folk want taken out and shot. :greengrin

[Scouse Hibee]

After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

😂 This is beginning to sound like a comedy sketch.

[HH81]

The dinner at the in laws was as usual pretty average.

The thing for me is working at a bank is the huge impact and pressure people are under to buy stuff they just can't afford. Maybe it should just be about having a meal and then everyone can be happy. The impact I have seen on the back of Xmas is huge and so many people suffer.

Think that is why it just annoys me when I just see people posting stupid piles of presents on social media.

[H18 SFR]

The dinner at the in laws was as usual pretty average.

The thing for me is working at a bank is the huge impact and pressure people are under to buy stuff they just can't afford. Maybe it should just be about having a meal and then everyone can be happy. The impact I have seen on the back of Xmas is huge and so many people suffer.

Think that is why it just annoys me when I just see people posting stupid piles of presents on social media.

Totally agree.

[lyonhibs]

Mercifully my mother in law is an excellent cook and has long since ceased with turkey in favour of a beef from a favourite butcher in Yorkshire.

This year we stayed here in Switzerland owing to imminent baby arrival. Did French onion soup then beef Wellington. The latter didn't *quite* end up as in the Gordon Ramsay recipe but the beef was spot on and generally delicious.

Now sat on the sofa watching Netflix with a bottle of Laphroaig Quarter Cask. Bliss.

Keep the tales of woe coming though :greengrin

[Rocky]

It was absolutely horrendous. Topped off with beef gravy. Each to their own but just use a poultry gravy with poultry.

They substituted chipolatas for bacon lardons. It's an absolute joke.

I cooked both turkey and beef today. The juices from both went in the gravy. The pink turkey juices gave it a lovely flavour and brightened up the colour too.

[Hibernia&Alba]

Well mine was a triumph - turkey for her indoors and veggie for me for the first time. The kitchen was like working in a blast furnace; I almost passed out, but it was worth the effort. I know it sounds so gallus, but it was the best Christmas dinner I've had. I'm very glad I was only cooking for two (plus the dug) - that was stressful enough.

[Scouse Hibee]

I cooked for eight, turkey and ham, roasties, parsnips, sprouts with bacon, carrots, pigs in blankets, stuffing, (a quiche request from the veggie)potato croquets, gravy.

Trifle, Christmas Pudding, Profiterolls.

All very well received and no complaints ( to my face at least 😁)

[Just_Jimmy]

My MIL is a superb cook and thankfully her daughter, my better half, follows that on. So much so that I'll happily agree to attend my in laws at any occasion rather than my parents as my own mum is an average cook. Whilst it's never terrible it's just alright and there's never enough.

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[pollution]

I cooked both turkey and beef today. The juices from both went in the gravy. The pink turkey juices gave it a lovely flavour and brightened up the colour too.


Pink juices?? How are you today?

[Phil MaGlass]

We go away for xmas every year, nae crappy xmas lunches, nae family and nae kids, f,n fantastic, everyone should try it. Just back from staying a nightvat a spa, fantastic,

[Moulin Yarns]

We go away for xmas every year, nae crappy xmas lunches, nae family and nae kids, f,n fantastic, everyone should try it. Just back from staying a nightvat a spa, fantastic,

What we do at new year.

[Jonnyboy]

After a well earned break the shout "who wants desert" reigned out.

I was particularly looking forward to it because they got in some lovely individual sticky toffee puddings that only needed warmed up before serving to allow the toffee sauce part to melt on top and into the sponge.

They decided to serve them as they were "to save heating them". Absolutely ***** again. It's actually *****.

I was laughing until you mentioned the sticky toffee pudding, T. You should be allowed to divorce your inlaws :greengrin

[J-C]

I do all the cooking in my household and get everything from M&S as the wife works there and we get 20% discount. Get the timings right and all cooked to perfection as per usual.

[Tobias Funke]

Tried making roast potatoes with duck fat rather than goose fat this year, highly recommended.

[Hibrandenburg]

My oven packed in this Christmas, whilst doing the turkey it wouldn't heat above 140c. Turned out the best turkey I've ever had, even if we didn't get to eat it until 23:30. Improvised by cooking the roasted spuds in shifts in the dry fryer, they too were excellent and I'll definitely do that again.

[heretoday]

We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!

[Scouse Hibee]

We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!

I would never consider the silver tray that a pie sits in as packaging, it’s cooked in the tray then packaged, quite a funny thing to read actually😁
Glad it didn’t spoil your dinner though.

[RyeSloan]

We had a Bell's steak pie for new year. The cooking instructions said Remove All Packaging. After some debate, we stuck it in the oven without even its silver tray. Result - collapse of pie although it was perfectly edible.
Were we naive to take the instructions so literally?
Perhaps Mr Bell can explain because he'll be getting a letter from me. £7.50 it cost!

Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?

[heretoday]

Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?

Right. When we took it out of the tray the meat part was in quite a solid mass. It wasn't just liquid as with most pies. Even so and at this late stage I was against bunging it on a baking sheet and into the oven. I was outvoted.
All I'm saying is the instructions should have said "Remove all packaging but leave in silver tray". I'm secretly hoping Mr Bell will take pity and send us a voucher.
The pie was good - well filled with steak.

[Scouse Hibee]

Eh? Most Bells or any other ‘family size’ steak pies only come with a pastry lid. I’m struggling to understand how the above could even come to pass?

Bells large steak rounds are complete pastry pies with filling.

Edit: See the OP has explained it perfectly 😁

[RyeSloan]

Right. When we took it out of the tray the meat part was in quite a solid mass. It wasn't just liquid as with most pies. Even so and at this late stage I was against bunging it on a baking sheet and into the oven. I was outvoted.
All I'm saying is the instructions should have said "Remove all packaging but leave in silver tray". I'm secretly hoping Mr Bell will take pity and send us a voucher.
The pie was good - well filled with steak.

Aha quality story that!!

Well at least on the positive side maybe your vote might count for more next time around [emoji23][emoji2957][emoji106]

[Jones28]

Right. When we took it out of the tray the meat part was in quite a solid mass. It wasn't just liquid as with most pies. Even so and at this late stage I was against bunging it on a baking sheet and into the oven. I was outvoted.
All I'm saying is the instructions should have said "Remove all packaging but leave in silver tray". I'm secretly hoping Mr Bell will take pity and send us a voucher.
The pie was good - well filled with steak.

I want to know who the idiots that disagreed with you were 😂😂😂

[H18 SFR]

Two years on, see my OP’s - summarises this year excellently.

[BroxburnHibee]

Two years on, see my OP’s - summarises this year excellently.

You really need to learn to cook :greengrin

[H18 SFR]

You really need to learn to cook :greengrin

I genuinely could produce a good meal in a heartbeat. Not sure I could tell someone that I am taking over in their home sadly.

[Danderhall Hibs]

You’ve got to get them to yours next time and shoe them how it’s done? That sound horrendous- I can’t believe anyone would use bacon lardons as a sub for kilted sausage. Straight red card and sine die ban for that alone.

What does the wife say about it? Is it one of the situations where she thinks it’s normal cos that how she was brought up?

[Itsnoteasy]

Me & the Mrs have had tears streaming down our faces reading these.

Her reply after p1$$1ng herself laughing "what other $h1t3 is on this Hibs site.

[Keith_M]

Couple of years back my mate drove from lincolshire to Kent to his mother in law's for xmas dinner. Wasn't looking forward to it.

On the journey down he said to his wife that he wasn't looking forward to seeing ******* burnt sausages on the plate as usual.

When the dinner arrived his 5 year old who'd been in the back of the car picked a sausage off his plate and said Dad,dad it's ******* burnt sausages again. There was only about a dozen folk at the table[emoji16]





:rotflmao:

[H18 SFR]

You’ve got to get them to yours next time and shoe them how it’s done? That sound horrendous- I can’t believe anyone would use bacon lardons as a sub for kilted sausage. Straight red card and sine die ban for that alone.

What does the wife say about it? Is it one of the situations where she thinks it’s normal cos that how she was brought up?

They are in Ireland and obviously we are in Scotland. See to be honest, I’m not going over next Christmas. Apart from seeing the joy on the the kid’s faces it’s quite frankly all about the Christmas dinner for me.

They can’t even talk properly, they all just grunt and gesture and literally shout when communicating.

[Jones28]

I had very little to do with dinner this year, but I was out voted and we had Turkey. The boys brined it for 36 hours, cooked it upside down, flipped it, rested it and it was still dry.

It’s turkey. It’s crap. It can get in the sea. Even then it wouldn’t be moist.

As can sprouts . Unless you lather them in bacon fat they’re just ****.

[Pretty Boy]

I had very little to do with dinner this year, but I was out voted and we had Turkey. The boys brined it for 36 hours, cooked it upside down, flipped it, rested it and it was still dry.

It’s turkey. It’s crap. It can get in the sea. Even then it wouldn’t be moist.

As can sprouts . Unless you lather them in bacon fat they’re just ****.

I think there is a reason we only really make turkey a centrepiece dish once a year. If it wasn't for it being tradition I'm sceptical many people would choose to eat it.

I had to throw something together last minute this year and just opted for a big chicken, paid a bit more for a corn fed, free range, gets a massage and a can of lager every hight one from the butchers and it was infinitely better than any turkey I've ever had.

The biggest issue with turkeys is they are selectively bred to have a ludicrous amount of white meat on them now. Much like supermarket chickens that inevitably leads to a reduction in tenderness and flavour.

[Scouse Hibee]

I had very little to do with dinner this year, but I was out voted and we had Turkey. The boys brined it for 36 hours, cooked it upside down, flipped it, rested it and it was still dry.

It’s turkey. It’s crap. It can get in the sea. Even then it wouldn’t be moist.

As can sprouts . Unless you lather them in bacon fat they’re just ****.

Grew up the son of a butcher and we never once had a Turkey for Christmas dinner, as an adult I have never cooked one at Christmas either.

[WoreTheGreen]

Grew up the son of a butcher and we never once had a Turkey for Christmas dinner, as an adult I have never cooked one at Christmas either.

Dusty Springfield great song

[Since90+2]

I had very little to do with dinner this year, but I was out voted and we had Turkey. The boys brined it for 36 hours, cooked it upside down, flipped it, rested it and it was still dry.

It’s turkey. It’s crap. It can get in the sea. Even then it wouldn’t be moist.

As can sprouts . Unless you lather them in bacon fat they’re just ****.

Sprouts are brilliant, the best part of the meal along with stuffing IMO.

[Just_Jimmy]

Dusty Springfield great song[emoji1787][emoji1787]

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[Jones28]

Sprouts are brilliant, the best part of the meal along with stuffing IMO.

Aw you’re not one of those are you?

I thought you were sound.

🤣

[WeeRussell]

I genuinely think turkey is my favourite meat. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that concurs admittedly 😁

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Sprouts are brilliant, the best part of the meal along with stuffing IMO.

Not sure the pre-fab versions are up to much 🤔

[Jim44]

Sprouts, almost cooked, mashed into crispy lardons or crispy bacon and chestnuts...... refried and finished with cream ...... the dog’s bollocks. :greengrin

[lapsedhibee]

Dusty Springfield great song

:greengrin

[Jones28]

Grew up the son of a butcher and we never once had a Turkey for Christmas dinner, as an adult I have never cooked one at Christmas either.

There’s not a chance in hell I’m doing it next year. Lamb and maybe a goose.

[HappyAsHellas]

Cook down some cranberries and let them cool then mix into some melted butter. Ease up the turkey skin and smear the mixture all over the top of the breast. Lovely succulent tender turkey.
Anyone who doesn't have half a rasher of streaky bacon on each chipolata is a heathen.

[Itsnoteasy]

Another year and another plate of absolute ***** served up at the in-laws. Absolute *****!

How do you break it to the wife that you simply can't stomach it every year?

Good luck for this year 🤣

[Jones28]

Brother in law has started the Turkey brining process for the year.

I look forward to it still being dry despite days of faff.

I wanted to get goose and ham but I was out-voted.

[Smartie]

Just read back through this thread as it’s an old favourite of mine.

The “eating the sticky toffee puddings as they are to save cooking them” has to be an all-time Hibs.net highlight.

[Pretty Boy]

I'm on pudding and veg duties this year. We are having 2 dinners, buffet style affair at my sister's today as she is working tomorrow then a full dinner tomorrow at my parents.

Raspberry pavlova and a Bailey's cheesecake made this morning. Thankfully my sister is going down the chicken route rather than turkey. Turkey, as per my previous posts on this thread, is ***** and if it wasn't for tradition no one would eat it.

[Scouse Hibee]

Lamb, Ham & Chicken this year all cooked by myself again!!!
Really wanted to do **** all cooking this year at home but no chance of that.

[Jones28]

I’m making a trifle this year.

How many different ways can you get booze in?

Sherry in the bottom with the ladyfingers, baileys in the custard, amaretto in the cream?

I’ve done the jelly already and would probably draw a line at putting vodka in it.