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Anti-hoofbaw
06-02-2018, 11:58 PM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 12:12 AM
Speechless. I hope you know the magnitude of what you've created here :faf: :top marks

And I think Mr E. John not Mr D. Bowie was responsible for the song in question. But that's just pedantry.

Anti-hoofbaw
07-02-2018, 12:39 AM
Speechless. I hope you know the magnitude of what you've created here :faf: :top marks

And I think Mr E. John not Mr D. Bowie was responsible for the song in question. But that's just pedantry.

Tam deserves a song. Guys a Hibs Ledge :tee hee:

Yeah, It was Elton John not Bowie. Edited correct :aok:

RIP Bestie
07-02-2018, 03:04 AM
WTF???
Bolt

SirDavidsNapper
07-02-2018, 06:18 AM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."

Alcohol?

McSwanky
07-02-2018, 06:35 AM
Thread of the year so far. This one's going to take some topping!

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3003 using Tapatalk

Time For Heroes
07-02-2018, 06:41 AM
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
😂😂😂😂👍

Peevemor
07-02-2018, 06:44 AM
Speechless. I hope you know the magnitude of what you've created here :faf: :top marks

And I think Mr E. John not Mr D. Bowie was responsible for the song in question. But that's just pedantry.

He was obviously thinking about "ground control to Major Tam"

wearethehibs
07-02-2018, 07:00 AM
That must have been some strong stuff

Pedantic_Hibee
07-02-2018, 07:39 AM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."

That's absolutely magnificent 😂😂😂😂

You are rapidly becoming my favourite poster with your drug-fuelled songwriting 😂😂

To even come up with something like that is nothing short of a masterclass.

SlickShoes
07-02-2018, 08:10 AM
Remember the time when someone actually made a thread about getting him out of the dugout as they thought he was one of the problems with the club.... staggering.

Peevemor
07-02-2018, 08:23 AM
He was obviously thinking about "ground control to Major Tam"

:singing: Ground control to Major Tam,
Ma shirt's too big,
There's sumhing wrang...

Cauld Bovril
07-02-2018, 08:49 AM
This is why the Internet was invented. Tremendous work.

Smartie
07-02-2018, 08:59 AM
:singing: Ground control to Major Tam,
Ma shirt's too big,
There's sumhing wrang...

"Ah've taen mah protein shake an' goat mah jockstrap oan"

Gregor
07-02-2018, 09:15 AM
Speechless. I hope you know the magnitude of what you've created here :faf: :top marks

And I think Mr E. John not Mr D. Bowie was responsible for the song in question. But that's just pedantry.

I'll see your pedantry, and raise you Bernie Taupin who was responsible for the original lyrics. Without Bernie, Elton would still be stuck doing closing credits music to BBC Top Gear ...

Peevemor
07-02-2018, 09:24 AM
"Ah've taen mah protein shake an' goat mah jockstrap oan"

:greengrin:top marks

ian cruise
07-02-2018, 09:26 AM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."

This isn't just my favourite football song, it's maybe my favourite song ever. I'll be gutted to not hear the singing section belt this out.

In all seriousness, if it actually happened it would definitely go viral if filmed. Hibs - first club to have a song for their kit man. Though Celtic would almost definitely do it a few weeks later.

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 09:31 AM
This isn't just my favourite football song, it's maybe my favourite song ever. I'll be gutted to not hear the singing section belt this out.

In all seriousness, if it actually happened it would definitely go viral if filmed. Hibs - first club to have a song for their kit man. Though Celtic would almost definitely do it a few weeks later.

:agree: They'd probably give anti-hoofbaw a contract to blog professionally on kerrydale street.

lord bunberry
07-02-2018, 09:35 AM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."
Absolutely genius :greengrin

Hibbyradge
07-02-2018, 09:41 AM
That's excellent.

I asked Alexa to play the original so I could enjoy your version along to it.

The pedant in me wants to amend a couple of lines to make them scan better, but I genuinely laughed out loud reading/singing it. Great work.

I wonder if Tam has seen it yet.

Maybe he'll come out appropriately dressed at the Aberdeen game 🚀

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 09:45 AM
I would have enjoyed a couple of lines about his career as a coonsil gardener at princes Street gardens, but it may not scan well. And I'm quibbling. It's already virtually perfect as it is :greengrin

DarlingtonHibee
07-02-2018, 10:34 AM
To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."
Brilliant lol!

SirDavidsNapper
07-02-2018, 10:55 AM
I would have enjoyed a couple of lines about his career as a coonsil gardener at princes Street gardens, but it may not scan well. And I'm quibbling. It's already virtually perfect as it is :greengrin

Think the OP may have enjoyed a couple of lines before penning this number!

One Day Soon
07-02-2018, 01:06 PM
And they say Surrealism has had its day...

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 01:09 PM
Think the OP may have enjoyed a couple of lines before penning this number!

Some of the best of contemporary and classic literature has been put together under the influence of Mr Chang. But remember, authors, when the fun stops, STOP :aok:

WeeRussell
07-02-2018, 01:10 PM
:top marks

Seveno
07-02-2018, 01:18 PM
Great stuff. Imagine the bemusement of the opposition fans and tv viewers if that was belted out.

yonder1875
07-02-2018, 01:20 PM
Quality, hope to hear it in the stands soon.

Jackh
07-02-2018, 01:22 PM
[QUOTE=Anti-hoofbaw;5310892]To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."[/QUOTE


Genuinely worrying how much free time folk have

One Day Soon
07-02-2018, 01:23 PM
[QUOTE=Anti-hoofbaw;5310892]To 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.

"Tam packed his bag last night pre-game
Zero hour nine A.M.
And he's gonnae be high as a kite on Persil fumes by then

He miss his fork so much, he miss his tufing knife
It's lonely out in East Mains
On such a timeless plight

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

East Mains ain't the kind o place to wash your kit alone
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to wash them if he didnae

And all this Washing powder science he disnae understand
It's just his job 6 days a week
A Hibskit man, a Hibskit man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And he thinks it's gonnae be a long long time
'Til kick off brings him 'round again to find
he disnae wash his breeks that gid at home
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a Hibskit man
Hibskit man burning out his tumble dryer fuse up here alone

And Tam thinks it's gonnae be a long long time..."[/QUOTE


Genuinely worrying how much free time folk have


Umm, you should probably be worrying about how much of something else they have.

IGRIGI
07-02-2018, 01:25 PM
Whatever you're on I'll be first on the list for an order, productivity at work would be unimaginable.

CMurdoch
07-02-2018, 02:59 PM
Quality :top marks

Anti-hoofbaw
07-02-2018, 03:41 PM
I can honestly confirm that no drugs or alcohol were consumed during the writing of this song :thumbsup:

Billy Whizz
07-02-2018, 04:09 PM
I can honestly confirm that no drugs or alcohol were consumed during the writing of this song :thumbsup:

That’s a real worry!

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 04:30 PM
I can honestly confirm that no drugs or alcohol were consumed during the writing of this song :thumbsup:

If thats the case, I would support the freezing of your DNA in liquid amber and putting it in storage so when technology has developed sufficiently we can still have your songwriting genius for the benefit of future generations:woohoo:

Anti-hoofbaw
07-02-2018, 04:52 PM
If thats the case, I would support the freezing of your DNA in liquid amber and putting it in storage so when technology has developed sufficiently we can still have your songwriting genius for the benefit of future generations:woohoo:

:hilarious

I'd also be up for donating sperm. Might produce some future Boaby Dylan's.

Famous Fiver
07-02-2018, 04:57 PM
Song for Tam?

No shelf life, I'm afraid.

Our utility man , one Lewis Stevenson, could do Tam's job in his tea break!!

hibbyfraelibby
07-02-2018, 05:34 PM
Joyce you really need to stop hero worshipping Tam...

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 05:38 PM
Song for Tam?

No shelf life, I'm afraid.

Our utility man , one Lewis Stevenson, could do Tam's job in his tea break!!

Tam is definitely also the utility man. First he does the groundsman duties, (and gets replaced by a contractor who put noticeably less effort into the pitch than Tam did) then moves on to kitman. I wouldnt be at all surprised if he ends up in IT or ticket sales before he goes to the great Sauzee in the Sky. The boy can do anything.

One Day Soon
07-02-2018, 06:35 PM
Every time you watch any game on the telly at some point in the coverage there will be shots of the bench.

Every team has this one guy on staff that you can't quite recognise who seems to never say anything or move about much but whose role seems to be to stand (its almost always standing) staring onto the patch with a really thoughtful deeply engaged look on his face. Like he's the most insightful, most absorbed person in the stadium, utterly focused on every moment and movement of the match, perceiving some deeper meaning - searching out perfection perhaps - that no-one else can quite aspire to.

Except that you know that he isn't. He's actually just a bloke that the manager likes having around, or he's someone from the back room staff who has responsibility for water bottles, or snacks on the way home. But he's really, really good at doing that detached from the bench, immersed in the game, one man in a world of his own amidst thousands look. That's the perfect role for Tam that is. I think he'd be world class at that. He moves around a bit too much at the moment to pull it off, but if he could get shot of the nonsense like communicating subs numbers to the 4th official and all that stuff he could stand and stare in isolation better than anyone else I've seen in Scottish football.

hibsbollah
07-02-2018, 07:50 PM
Every time you watch any game on the telly at some point in the coverage there will be shots of the bench.

Every team has this one guy on staff that you can't quite recognise who seems to never say anything or move about much but whose role seems to be to stand (its almost always standing) staring onto the patch with a really thoughtful deeply engaged look on his face. Like he's the most insightful, most absorbed person in the stadium, utterly focused on every moment and movement of the match, perceiving some deeper meaning - searching out perfection perhaps - that no-one else can quite aspire to.

Except that you know that he isn't. He's actually just a bloke that the manager likes having around, or he's someone from the back room staff who has responsibility for water bottles, or snacks on the way home. But he's really, really good at doing that detached from the bench, immersed in the game, one man in a world of his own amidst thousands look. That's the perfect role for Tam that is. I think he'd be world class at that. He moves around a bit too much at the moment to pull it off, but if he could get shot of the nonsense like communicating subs numbers to the 4th official and all that stuff he could stand and stare in isolation better than anyone else I've seen in Scottish football.

Also known as the 'Sammy Lee role' for England and Liverpool, he also carried bags of footballs around and set out the cones.

superfurryhibby
07-02-2018, 07:54 PM
Forget the Tam Mc Court role, I want to know what wee John (Cassidy) is doing on the backroom team. Nice guy, knew him football wise from a good few years ago. He truly is the nystery man of Easter Road.

CRAZYHIBBY
07-02-2018, 09:26 PM
Hey tam you're so fine
You're so fine
You blow my mind
Hey tam hey tam

Anti-hoofbaw
13-03-2018, 05:51 PM
Bumped for hibsbollah.

iwasthere1972
13-03-2018, 07:29 PM
I used to babysit Tam when he lived next door to me. :wink:

Hi Tam. :aok:

CMurdoch
13-03-2018, 11:10 PM
I used to babysit Tam when he lived next door to me. :wink:

Hi Tam. :aok:

You must be really old :wink:

Viva_Palmeiras
13-03-2018, 11:12 PM
And they say Surrealism has had its day...

No that was the purple blancmange getting to the final of Wimbledon

Forza Fred
14-03-2018, 12:51 AM
Mr Anti-Hoof ball, this is a masterpiece and you are genius.

A genius with too much time on his hands perhaps, but a genius nevertheless.

I salute you!

hibsbollah
14-03-2018, 07:11 AM
"Ah've taen mah protein shake an' goat mah jockstrap oan"

Yes. Yes!!!

iwasthere1972
14-03-2018, 07:35 AM
You must be really old :wink:

I think I'm only a couple of years older than Tam. :wink: