Things that tell you that you're getting old

[snooky]

Getting a bus pass.
Difficulty in getting down to cutting your toe nails.
Attending too many funerals.

[Tornadoes70]

Getting a bus pass.
Difficulty in getting down to cutting your toe nails.
Attending too many funerals.

Begin thinking very seriously about approaching the Doctor for viagra :greengrin.

[McD]

Noticing that you’ve starting making a groaning noise when you straighten, stand up etc

[Geo_1875]

When you can remember the 60s like it was yesterday but can't remember yesterday.

[danhibees1875]

When you're closer to 30 than 20. :rolleyes:


( :wink: )

[Jack]

When you can't trust a fart!

[Peevemor]

You feel worse 2 days after a night on the pish instead of the next day.

Driving at night becomes a real adventure (not related to the above of course).

[snooky]

When buying items, taking into consideration the length of guarantee you really need against how long on this earth you think you've got left.

[Tornadoes70]

Suddenly realising you've only got your Jocky Y fronts on when stepping out the front door for a paper and pint of milk?

Possessing Jocky Y fronts?

[Peevemor]

When you can tell a girl that she has great eyes, and she knows you're not trying to pick her up (and her boyfriend standing beside her doesn't care either).

[Hiber-nation]

When you instantly need a pish every time you hear a tap running.

To add to Peevemor's post - when you book a day off work on the Monday to recover from a night out on the Friday (used to be a Saturday!)

[Future17]

My girlfriend.

[alhibby]

When you get off a bus after 3 pints and just know you wont make it without having to pee between bus stop and home

[snooky]

Compiling a long list of complaints before going to a doctor's appointment.

[Geo_1875]

Compiling a long list of complaints before going to a doctor's appointment.

Then forgetting to go to the doctor's.

[CropleyWasGod]

Contributing to threads like this.:rolleyes:

[Pretty Boy]

Realising that repeats of TV shows and so on look old. I remember shows from the 90s and early 00s like they were yesterday but they look so dated. It must be what my parents thought seeing stuff from the 70s when I was young.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Laddies born in the 21st century playing professional football.

[lord bunberry]

Seeing a tank top in the shop and thinking “that looks quite good”

[marinello59]

Sitting in the West Stand. :greengrin

[Hibrandenburg]

Taking up golf as a sport.

When your squash racquet has gathered dust.

When you get into bed at least twice a night.

When your kids look like how you think you look like.

[bingo70]

When you call pubs by names they used to be called 10 years ago.

Was out last week and when trying to arrange where to go it was suggested we go to bar kohl for some raspberry/cola cube vodka. Shut years ago apparently

[ACLeith]

When you go up the stairs and when you get to the top you can't remember why you did

[snooky]

When you consider it's an major achievement to go all night without getting up for a piss.

[Tornadoes70]

When everyone disappears at Xmas time when you appear with the monopoly board.

[Radium]

When the new start at work was born after you started


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Pete]

When most of the places you have worked at or drank in have shut down.

When you get annoyed at radio stations you used to like and find yourself listening to 909, 810 or 1548 more often.

You look at people in designer clothes and think they’re mugs.

You start appreciating spirits like whisky and rum.

[Scouse Hibee]

When your old schools, workplaces, pubs and houses you lived as a kid have all been demolished.

When you meet and old friends kid and realise that child is now an adult.

[bingo70]

When you celebrate how cheap your clothes are instead of how expensive they were.

[sleeping giant]

When you see a really good looking 20 something year old and think that you would fancy her mum .

When good looking young ladies say they feel safe with you.

Finally giving in and going for an eye test.


Taking a few extra shakes after a pee.

[sleeping giant]

Not as glorious morning glories.

[hibs#1]

Realising that repeats of TV shows and so on look old. I remember shows from the 90s and early 00s like they were yesterday but they look so dated. It must be what my parents thought seeing stuff from the 70s when I was young.


We got a super Nintendo last week and graphics were terrible from what I remember.

[Stick]

When you see a pretty, scantily dressed young lady out at night, and the only thing you think is " she is going to catch her death of cold dressed like that".

[lyonhibs]

When you find out that albums and computer games you loved as a kid and can remember vividly are suddenly 20+ years old.

Having a seemingly constant very low level of muscular pain/twinges somewhere for reasons you can't quite put your finger on.

When a pub/bar being quiet enough to have a proper conversation is a real factor in deciding where to go out.

[Pretty Boy]

When you see a really good looking 20 something year old and think that you would fancy her mum .

When good looking young ladies say they feel safe with you.

Finally giving in and going for an eye test.


Taking a few extra shakes after a pee.

I was out a few weeks ago and was chatting go a girl who was 20. I had absolutely no intention of trying anything but it was still a bit of a bashing to the ego when she said I'd be good looking if I was a few years younger.

[Scouse Hibee]

I was out a few weeks ago and was chatting go a girl who was 20. I had absolutely no intention of trying anything but it was still a bit of a bashing to the ego when she said I'd be good looking if I was a few years younger.

😂

[lord bunberry]

I was out a few weeks ago and was chatting go a girl who was 20. I had absolutely no intention of trying anything but it was still a bit of a bashing to the ego when she said I'd be good looking if I was a few years younger.

Was her guide dog shaking it’s head at the time😜 Only kidding mate.
It’s funny when a pretty young girl gets in the taxi and she’s quite drunk, I find myself telling them to be careful, rather than thinking about anything untoward. I always used to think that getting older would be such a dull and horrible existence, but it absolutely isn’t. I’ll probably never grow up, but experience of certain situations is no bad thing.

[Tornadoes70]

Walking past the Just for Men in the supermarket thinking should I?

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

When a pub/bar being quiet enough to have a proper conversation is a real factor in deciding where to go out.

That ones creeped up on me, although a seat is more important than a conversation.

[lord bunberry]

Walking past the Just for Men in the supermarket thinking should I?

Or paying more attention to those hair loss adverts than you care to admit.
I’ve got the Belgravia centre on speed dial:greengrin

[Tornadoes70]

Or paying more attention to those hair loss adverts than you care to admit.
I’ve got the Belgravia centre on speed dial:greengrin

Wayne Rooney's got a team of thatching experts to hand 24/7 :greengrin

[Colr]

When a pub/bar being quiet enough to have a proper conversation is a real factor in deciding where to go out.

Along with clean toilets! And sane clientele!

Table service is a BIG plus.

[wpj]

Being asked if my 2 year old daughter is my granddaughter! Was well pissed off. Only happened once but it was traumatic.

[ancient hibee]

When a pretty girl gives you her seat in the bus(last week).

[heretoday]

When the only heads turning your way are old boilers.

[patch1875]

Looking forward to autumnwatch tonight.

[Mr White]

A couple of years ago I bought a pair of slippers online. Initially I was really pleased with myself as they looked (and subsequently proved to be) really comfy.

It took a moment to realise I'd just bought a pair of slippers about an hour before the bells on hogmanay. When I thought about what I used to get up to at that time 20 years ago a part of me died inside.

[Hiber-nation]

A couple of years ago I bought a pair of slippers online. Initially I was really pleased with myself as they looked (and subsequently proved to be) really comfy.

It took a moment to realise I'd just bought a pair of slippers about an hour before the bells on hogmanay. When I thought about what I used to get up to at that time 20 years ago a part of me died inside.

:faf:

[Killiehibbie]

Having a shave and wondering why your dad is in the mirror. Needing to put your glasses on to make sure it isn't.

[Killiehibbie]

Was her guide dog shaking it’s head at the time😜 Only kidding mate.
It’s funny when a pretty young girl gets in the taxi and she’s quite drunk, I find myself telling them to be careful, rather than thinking about anything untoward. I always used to think that getting older would be such a dull and horrible existence, but it absolutely isn’t. I’ll probably never grow up, but experience of certain situations is no bad thing.One of the first things I was told the week I started by an old driver was don't even think about it.

[Smartie]

I was talking to an older mate of mine about golf the other day.

He'd started the "you know you're getting old when" stories by telling me about one his mates disappearing into the bushes on the golf course for a pish and returning, chuckling, as he'd discovered he'd put his pants on back to front that morning.

I'm a good few years younger than him and I mentioned that there is noticeable number of cracks and groans made by myself and my playing partners these days when bending down to pick the ball out of the cup.

He then told me that most of his pals have attachments to their putters meaning that they no longer have to bend down to pick the ball out.

I'm 40 this Saturday, so it was quite nice to feel young for a change.

[snooky]

Having a shave and wondering why your dad is in the mirror. Needing to put your glasses on to make sure it isn't.

:agree: I've had that scary moment too.

[Mixu62]

When you get a haircut and there's a lot more grey landing on your lap than last time.

When bus drivers wait till you've sat down.

When you reference bands / movies / TV shows and none of your workmates remember them.

When you step on the scales and just no longer give a Donald Duck what number comes up!

[Hibrandenburg]

When all your old school mates are posting photos of their grandkids in social media.

[Casey1875]

When you get a haircut and there's a lot more grey landing on your lap than last time.

When bus drivers wait till you've sat down.

When you reference bands / movies / TV shows and none of your workmates remember them.

When you step on the scales and just no longer give a Donald Duck what number comes up!

When you get a haircut and there is a lot less hair falling on you lap than the last time!

[Mixu62]

When you get a haircut and there is a lot less hair falling on you lap than the last time!

Rather grey hair than nae hair!!

[DH1875]

Not as glorious morning glories.

Thank duck for viagra. God knows how the old yins managed to live without it years ago.

[Casey1875]

Rather grey hair than nae hair!!

So would I but unfortunately I never got a choice in the matter!

[GreenLake]

Going to see Paul Weller tonight and half of the people I know have never heard of The Jam or The Style Council.

[Pretty Boy]

Going to the fridge on a Friday night, taking out a beer then putting it back and getting the milk to make a coffee instead.

A few years ago I would have been on my 5th post work pint by now with plans being made for a quick pit stop to change before heading back out.

[snooky]

Meeting up with an old friend and exchanging ailment moans rather than what you've been up to stuff.

[Hiber-nation]

Waking up at 2am thinking "aw naw how am I gonny get back to sleep" compared to years ago when it was "Yess...it's only 2 o'clock....5 hours more sleep".

[heretoday]

Going to the fridge on a Friday night, taking out a beer then putting it back and getting the milk to make a coffee instead.

A few years ago I would have been on my 5th post work pint by now with plans being made for a quick pit stop to change before heading back out.

I'm sure your liver is eternally grateful!

[Scouse Hibee]

Going out at 1pm for day out session with old friends, 3 pints, then going onto G&T's before an Indian at 5.30 a couple of more pints then back home and in bed by 8.30pm feeling contented.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

When you bemoan the lack of opportunities to stand at football matches when a wee bit of you doesnae mind a wee seat.

[pollution]

Going out at 1pm for day out session with old friends, 3 pints, then going onto G&T's before an Indian at 5.30 a couple of more pints then back home and in bed by 8.30pm feeling contented.
G & Ts after pints? I would fall over let alone manage a meal with more pints. Kudos!

[Greentinted]

When the Evening News was decent, the way you read it gave away your age...
When you were wee you'd check out the summarised telly listing on the front page (it was a broadsheet then.)
Then a bit older you'd pick it up and read from the back page inwards probably ending at the crossword with maybe a glance at the front page.
Early 20s - Front to back but still dwelling on the fitba and checking out last weeks 'spot-the-ball' thinking why are the players in yon photae all looking away fi where the ball apparently is.
Late 20s onwards - Front to back in equal measure with now maybe poring over the horses.
Middle Aged - you went to the letters page and often felt enough indignation to consider contributing your written ire.
Auld - Classifieds and obituaries first!

[WeeRussell]

When you're sure you had something witty to add to this thread, but now can't remember what it is :wink:

[Gatecrasher]

Going out at 1pm for day out session with old friends, 3 pints, then going onto G&T's before an Indian at 5.30 a couple of more pints then back home and in bed by 8.30pm feeling contented.

To be honest I have always preferred that, don't get me wrong I enjoy the night clubs and late nights but they pretty much ruin your weekend. When you have a day sesh the rest of the weekend is salvageable.

[Peevemor]

To be honest I have always preferred that, don't get me wrong I enjoy the night clubs and late nights but they pretty much ruin your weekend. When you have a day sesh the rest of the weekend is salvageable.

Except when the day sesh is too good to stop and you end up putting in a double shift.

[Jim44]

When all those ‘young’ doctors, policemen and doctors, you thought were bairns, are now beginning to think the same things.

[Pete]

When you end up repeating yourself in the space of one post.

[Lancs Harp]

Your primary consideration on a night on the tiles is how am I going to get back home.

[Scouse Hibee]

Your bladder sees more action than you do.

[Jim44]

When you end up repeating yourself in the space of one post.

:thumbsup: :greengrin. It was meant to read, policemen, doctors and teachers, but that’s what age does for you.

[KdyHby]

Currently lying in hospital waiting for a knee op :violin:

[Hibrandenburg]

When your friends start posting pictures of their cruise.

[snooky]

When somebody asks if the mate your are drinking with is your son. :fuming:

[HappyAsHellas]

When you are struggling to comprehend some new piece of software/app/technological thingy and your daughter informs you that "old people are funny"

[bingo70]

When you get far more enjoyment than you should from cleaning out your ears with a cotton bud.

Same applies to scratching between the toes.

My wife’s a lucky lady.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

When hair stops growing on top of your head then starts growing in increasingly obscure places.

[patch1875]

Not wanting to go out tonight because it’s cold.

[Scouse Hibee]

When a youngster asks you "Was that in the olden days"

[lyonhibs]

When a youngster asks you "Was that in the olden days"

And you're forced to answer yes, yes it was.

[Pretty Boy]

When I have the house to myself on a Saturday and Sunday and I'm home in bed before the end of MOTD on the Saturday night and the highlight of my Sunday, which I'm genuinely delighted about, is a couple of croissants with some freshly ground coffee and a read of the papers.

Also looking forward to making a pot of soup for lunches for the week ahead.

[HappyAsHellas]

When you mistake Barker for Stevenson in the build up to the Dundee goal. Opticians here I come.......

[Gatecrasher]

When you mistake Barker for Stevenson in the build up to the Dundee goal. Opticians here I come.......

My dad confuses Stevenson with McGregor all the time and also Bartley and Ambrose, now that Ambrose cut his dreadlocks off.

[Geo_1875]

When I have the house to myself on a Saturday and Sunday and I'm home in bed before the end of MOTD on the Saturday night and the highlight of my Sunday, which I'm genuinely delighted about, is a couple of croissants with some freshly ground coffee and a read of the papers.

Also looking forward to making a pot of soup for lunches for the week ahead.

"... a read of the papers."

You really are showing your age.

[Hibrandenburg]

When you're having a kickaround with your 8 year old in the garden and your first touch is like Messi when you receive the ball, you turn on a sixpence like Kenny Dalglish in the late 70's and then fall flat on your face like George Best leaving the pub 45 minutes before kick-off.

[Tornadoes70]

Filled in an online insurance change of car to my policy and I noted with a reality jolt just how far I had to scroll down to get to my year of birth.

[Moulin Yarns]

Listening to Ken Bruce's on radio 2 and hearing both Focus and Marillion.

[O'Rourke3]

Listening to Ken Bruce's on radio 2 and hearing both Focus and Marillion.

To be fair if you were 12 you'd have still heard them. It's your reaction or your fondness for the two tracks in question. My one one is having Led Zeppelin played on a breakfast show. Un likely to be played on Radio 1 in their pomp as not radio friendly but these days like a long missed uncle.

[snooky]

When you're having a kickaround with your 8 year old in the garden and your first touch is like Messi when you receive the ball, you turn on a sixpence like Kenny Dalglish in the late 70's and then fall flat on your face like George Best leaving the pub 45 minutes before kick-off.
Same happened to me last week kicking about with one of my grandkids. :embarrass

[Geo_1875]

Flicking between Radio 2 and Radio 4 on the morning drive to work.

[bingo70]

Going for a pint up the town.

[Moulin Yarns]

Digital Prostate examination. :wink:

[lord bunberry]

Digital Prostate examination. :wink:
Apparently that’s the only known cure for hiccups :greengrin

[Scouse Hibee]

When you start losing friends through illness and I'm only 50!

[sleeping giant]

When you are sorting the washing and are not sure if the females clothes are your wife's or daughters .

[snooky]

When you start losing friends through illness and I'm only 50!

Similarly, when looking through photo albums you realise more than 50% of the people in them are no longer with us.

[Mixu62]

Acid indigestion.

[snooky]

When you have to use your arms to help you get out of a chair because your legs can no longer do it by themselves.

[Hibrandenburg]

When someone on the "My life in 5 songs" thread mentions that their mum's dad was a Duran Duran fan.

[Peevemor]

When someone on the "My life in 5 songs" thread mentions that their mum's dad was a Duran Duran fan.

:greengrin I noticed that too.

And then there was Friday. I picked up my daughter at her secondary school and while waiting I happened to notice the esthetic qualities of some of the female teachers that were dotting around - I then realised that they'd probably all be classed as "too young" for me.

[snooky]

When you review this thread and have to delete two of your posts because you've already posted the same comments a couple of days before.

[Captain Trips]

Being able to reply to most threads in the dugout.

[Galahibby]

When you have to use your arms to help you get out of a chair because your legs can no longer do it by themselves.

Accompanied by sound effects... 😏

[Future17]

Digital Prostate examination. :wink:

Almost as bad as a digits-all prostate exam.

[weecounty hibby]

Almost as bad as a digits-all prostate exam.

You are in real bother if you can get all digits up there!!!!

[YehButNoBut]

When you have to use your arms to help you get out of a chair because your legs can no longer do it by themselves.


Accompanied by sound effects... 😏

:greengrin


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCcDp6HRKh0

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Watching Clubland tv and seeing tunes from about 25-30 years ago that remind you of your youth! :-(

[snooky]

Watching Clubland tv and seeing tunes from about 25-30 years ago that remind you of your youth! :-(

I'll up you a .....
Watching Clubland tv and seeing tunes from about 25-30 years ago that remind you of your middle age! :-(

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I'll up you a .....
Watching Clubland tv and seeing tunes from about 25-30 years ago that remind you of your middle age! :-(

You're never too old!

[WeeRussell]

When you're looking forward to the weekend and sitting in with a whisky, rather than heading out on the town.

[Hibrandenburg]

When Santa starts looking young.

[Mixu62]

When you realise that one more drink at "this time of night" will result in getting up from bed to go to the toilet every half hour.

[Wembley67]

When your wife tags you in a funny picture that you are her BAE, but have absolutely no idea what that is. Something to do with boyfriend or something but dunno what it stands for....

[Killiehibbie]

When your wife tags you in a funny picture that you are her BAE, but have absolutely no idea what that is. Something to do with boyfriend or something but dunno what it stands for....Is your wife Danish?:greengrin

[stuart-farquhar]

Women aged 60 plus are attractive!

[Alfiembra]

When your wife tags you in a funny picture that you are her BAE, but have absolutely no idea what that is. Something to do with boyfriend or something but dunno what it stands for....

Saw my son refering to his girlfriend as this I think it's Before Anyone Else.

Not quite sure what the sentiment is there, not saying "I love you" but you a step up from on yer bike hen.

[bigwheel]

Saw my son refering to his girlfriend as this I think it's Before Anyone Else.

Not quite sure what the sentiment is there, not saying "I love you" but you a step up from on yer bike hen.

it’s just Street talk, used as a shortened version of “baby”..

[heretoday]

When you realise that one more drink at "this time of night" will result in getting up from bed to go to the toilet every half hour.

You've nailed it.

[lyonhibs]

When your wife tags you in a funny picture that you are her BAE, but have absolutely no idea what that is. Something to do with boyfriend or something but dunno what it stands for....

In the mercifully unlikely event of my Mrs doing that, I'd be having words.

A simultaneous pet peeve and things that make me realise I'm getting older is that almost every new linguistic twist/acronym makes me want to feed the creator of it to some ravenous Komodo dragons.

[Pretty Boy]

Spending time debating with people on the internet about house prices, buy to let and AirBnb.:greengrin

[Gatecrasher]

Spending time debating with people on the internet about house prices, buy to let and AirBnb.:greengrin

Watching Home Alone and wondering how much their house is worth!

[snooky]

Wearing bed socks.

[Wembley67]

In the mercifully unlikely event of my Mrs doing that, I'd be having words.

A simultaneous pet peeve and things that make me realise I'm getting older is that almost every new linguistic twist/acronym makes me want to feed the creator of it to some ravenous Komodo dragons.

In her defence she had no idea what it meant either but the picture was still amusing 😀

[sleeping giant]

A quick look at the clock to make sure it's not too late when the wife gets frisky.

[Moulin Yarns]

A quick look at the clock to make sure it's not too late when the wife gets frisky.

When neither of you feels frisky anymore :rolleyes:

[Swedish hibee]

Mobile phones at music gigs.. that's when I stopped going! And it's a shame, I used to enjoy a gig.

[hibsbollah]

When you have to use your arms to help you get out of a chair because your legs can no longer do it by themselves.

:agree:
Similarly, in my youth I used to enjoy sitting in a beanbag. I'm sure if I attempted it now I'd be like a beetle on its back, legs and arms scrabbling around trying to get out of the ****ing thing.

[speedy_gonzales]

A quick look at the clock to make sure it's not too late when the wife gets frisky.
You did mean clock?

[Moulin Yarns]

You did mean clock?


I think the clue is in his user name :greengrin

[hibsbollah]

I think the clue is in his user name :greengrin

Are you saying he's compensating for something?