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andy1875
28-03-2017, 08:12 PM
Programme just started on BBC1. Powerful opening.

He comes across as a top bloke.

Lancs Harp
28-03-2017, 08:15 PM
He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.

blackpoolhibs
28-03-2017, 08:16 PM
Its heart breaking stuff, that many folk go through. Lets hope anyone in this situation watching this gains some help from Rio's story and the programme?

Biggie
28-03-2017, 08:18 PM
Not sure what to make of this......seems a top bloke, but if he really cheated on his wife 10 plus times ?!....I just don't know.

andy1875
28-03-2017, 08:28 PM
He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.


Not sure what to make of this......seems a top bloke, but if he really cheated on his wife 10 plus times ?!....I just don't know.

I didnt know that but we all do things in life we wish we hadn't eh and dare I say it, if he did cheat, im sure that will form a part of the grieving process when he looks back and maybe regrets things.

Nevertheless Ive always thought he comes across well. Brutal also for the kids.

Like many others around the world who suffer, cancer is a horrible horrible thing and heres to the day we cure it.

Biggie
28-03-2017, 08:34 PM
I didnt know that but we all do things in life we wish we hadn't eh and dare I say it, if he did cheat, im sure that will form a part of the grieving process when he looks back and maybe regrets things.

Nevertheless Ive always thought he comes across well. Brutal also for the kids.

Like many others around the world who suffer, cancer is a horrible horrible thing and heres to the day we cure it.

Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.

Lancs Harp
28-03-2017, 08:36 PM
Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.

Amen to that fella. Cost me my Mum.

Itsnoteasy
28-03-2017, 09:10 PM
Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.

He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

18Hibee75
28-03-2017, 09:15 PM
I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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Hibbyradge
28-03-2017, 09:16 PM
He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

Of course he could have loved her, but yes, he will be riddled with guilt.

The Harp
28-03-2017, 09:19 PM
Not our place to judge. The guy is doing his best for the sake of his kids. I lost my wife to cancer at the age of 55, but this poor lady was only in her 30s. Absolutely heart-breaking. I wish Rio and his family all the luck in the world as they attempt to carry on without the most important person in their lives.

Lancs Harp
28-03-2017, 09:19 PM
The programme obviously brings up issues for society and how society deals or should deal with these issues. That is the main thing here for me, not Rio as an individual who I have sympathy for on some levels while recognising on other levels he has been no angel.

andy1875
28-03-2017, 09:21 PM
I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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Good post mate. Respect to you and your kids, I cant even begin to imagine what youve gone through as a husband/father of 3 daughters myself.

SirDavidsNapper
29-03-2017, 12:12 AM
He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

Numerous times.

houstonhibbee
29-03-2017, 03:18 AM
I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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wow:confused:
thanks for sharing your story and here's hoping hibs continue to help you

Pretty Boy
29-03-2017, 05:30 AM
He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.

Itsnoteasy
29-03-2017, 06:06 AM
You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.

Sorry.
But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.

Northernhibee
29-03-2017, 06:09 AM
What horrible, classless comments on this thread.

lyonhibs
29-03-2017, 06:10 AM
You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.

Depending on how you view infidelity, he's right.

Not IMO mind. Cancer's a **** and what hell Rio's been through most of us happily can't imagine. I missed the programme but will try and catch it somewhere.

He clearly made mistakes in his relationship that I'm sure he's paying for now but far be it from me to judge.

lapsedhibee
29-03-2017, 06:18 AM
What horrible, classless comments on this thread.

Depends. Personally, I much prefer to read background information that I didn't know about footballers than the tiresome virtue-signalling which so often follows it.

Greenworld
29-03-2017, 06:19 AM
Sorry.
But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.
I going to guess you have no kids? Regardless of what's happened he is trying to be the best mum and dad he can now.
Totally ridiculous to be going on about his past.


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hibsbollah
29-03-2017, 06:27 AM
He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.

The point of the programme isn't whether or not he was 'Husband of the Year', it was raising awareness of losing someone close to you. Which he did very well.

Pretty Boy
29-03-2017, 06:38 AM
Sorry.
But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.

Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

Jim44
29-03-2017, 07:13 AM
Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

:top marks

BSEJVT
29-03-2017, 07:18 AM
Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

Bang on

I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

hibsbollah
29-03-2017, 07:32 AM
Bang on

I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

:top marks
Theres a lot of fora I've just given up on recently. The Internet has become a place where its easy to have a debate but harder and harder to have a good one. The question is, how do you ensure the Internet becomes free of trolling and bullying while still keep it open for a wide range of views and good fun infantile stupidity?

Lancs Harp
29-03-2017, 07:40 AM
The point of the programme isn't whether or not he was 'Husband of the Year', it was raising awareness of losing someone close to you. Which he did very well.

Indeed, as I pointed out in my 10.19 post.

stantonhibby
29-03-2017, 07:55 AM
Bang on

I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

:top marks

stantonhibby
29-03-2017, 07:56 AM
Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

:top marks

J-C
29-03-2017, 07:57 AM
I can't believe anyone would mention cheating or anything like that about this programme, I'm watching this right now and finding it hard not to cry with the man. Past events have nothing to do with what he's going through right now, he obviously loved his wife and she was taken from him and their 3 kids, the programme is about coping with the loss of a partner and a mother and having to deal with all that comes with it, the newspaper reports were all allegations, nothing was proven.

JimBHibees
29-03-2017, 08:04 AM
He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

That is quite clearly a crock.

lapsedhibee
29-03-2017, 09:38 AM
the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids.

Indeed but though they're not supposed to, when threads do go off topic they can throw up interesting information. I didn't know before today, for example, that Davie Cooper wouldn't live next door to a fenian. And that information goes a long way to explaining why fans of the Thes continue to hold him in such puzzlingly high regard.

Ilovehibs
29-03-2017, 11:16 AM
I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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No one should have to go through what you have mate. Hope you have had support along the way. Heartbreaking for you and your kids to have had to go it alone without your wife/mum.
Too cruel. Glad the Hibbies have given you some help and brilliant that 21.5.16 gave you joy that you were able to share through the Hampden turf!

Hope you and your kids are doing well together.
GGTTH and stay strong.

18Hibee75
29-03-2017, 12:25 PM
No one should have to go through what you have mate. Hope you have had support along the way. Heartbreaking for you and your kids to have had to go it alone without your wife/mum.
Too cruel. Glad the Hibbies have given you some help and brilliant that 21.5.16 gave you joy that you were able to share through the Hampden turf!

Hope you and your kids are doing well together.
GGTTH and stay strong.
Thank you mate. We have all been coping well and the kids realise what has happened. If anything it has brought me even closer to my children.

GGTTH

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Ilovehibs
29-03-2017, 12:35 PM
Thank you mate. We have all been coping well and the kids realise what has happened. If anything it has brought me even closer to my children.

GGTTH

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All credit to you chief.
Your wife will be with you all in spirit and will be so proud of what you have done/are doing for your kids. Good on you.
Hope the Hibees continue to give you more happy times ahead too. You should be very proud of yourself man.

Is It On....
29-03-2017, 12:52 PM
Numerous times.

Serial cheat (even filmed himself doing it on 1 occasion) so hope he has loads of guilt.

BOB MARLEYS DUG
29-03-2017, 01:35 PM
I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

Sent from my F3211 using Tapatalk

Respect to you sir.

ekhibee
29-03-2017, 01:36 PM
To be fair to Ferdinand, I've just been watching an interview with him about the BBC programme, and he emphasizes that this is not about sympathy, it's about getting people to talk when something like this happens, to open up, particularly if kids are involved. My mother died of cancer when I was 16 (my father had passed away 8 years previously), and all of a sudden we were orphans. I had to grow up pretty dam quick and start working while my grandmother watched my 2 sisters. I had no time to grieve, the stereotypes that Ferdinand touched on in this interview rung a few bells with me, don't show weakness to anybody such as crying, in my case leaving that to the women in the family who, as it turned out years later, had actually dealt with it much better than I ever had.

There's no specific template for people to use when it comes to something like this. We all have our own coping mechanisms, and most of the time one's not any better than another. But communicating is essential, letting people know that you'll always be there for them, even if you go off on one from time to time. The sad fact is that often tragedies like this draw families closer together, and make each individual appreciate more what they've got.

Biggie
29-03-2017, 01:55 PM
All credit to you chief.
Your wife will be with you all in spirit and will be so proud of what you have done/are doing for your kids. Good on you.
Hope the Hibees continue to give you more happy times ahead too. You should be very proud of yourself man.

This. Well said Ilovehibs....

SRHibs
29-03-2017, 02:28 PM
Bang on

I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.


I mean, he's not necessarily 'reforming'. It's possible to be good and bad in different facets of your life, and that's what's happening here. He's clearly not good in relationships, and the emotional damage that cheating does to people makes it an act that is almost unforgivable. It's a probability that he'd cheat again too, especially considering that most who do just act without thinking then attempt to rationalise it after.

That said, on the other hand he's doing a great job of raising his kids and deserves the utmost respect for that, and no family deserves to go through what his has.

JennaFletcher
29-03-2017, 10:52 PM
Well done to Rio and to all those who have had to go through similar horrendous situations. Breast cancer is a horrible disease and it takes the lives of far too many women each year.

My sister has battled breast cancer in early 30s. She has a BRCA mutation - like me (and Angelina Jolie!) BRCA 1 and 2 are tumor suppressor genes and if one is faulty then the likelihood of getting certain types of cancer - particularly breast and ovarian cancer - is much greater.

I was given the chance to have preventative surgery at 25 as I was told my chance of breast cancer was 85%. Best decision of my life as during the biopsy they discovered I had precancerous cells. How lucky do I feel.

My point in writing this is to urge people to check their family tree for any breast cancer or ovarian cancer patterns and go to GP and ask to be tested. My father's two Aunts had breast cancer in their 60s but as it is a common cancer for women we didn't pick up on any potential genetic link sooner.

BRCA mutations can be passed by a mother OR father onto their children. Any child of someone with a BRCA mutation has a 50% chance of getting it.

Worth pointing out that although rare men do get breast cancer too so if in doubt get it checked out.

Knowledge is power people, check out your family trees :aok: