How would you deal with being diagnosed as terminally ill?

[Hibbyradge]

Sombre question.

[Sir David Gray]

I don't think anyone knows until they're faced with that particular situation.

People are a lot stronger than they think they are.

[#FromTheCapital]

Think for most people there would be various stages in the process of dealing and coming to terms with it. Personally I have no idea how I'd deal with it, but I like to think that it's not going to happen anytime soon.

[Pretty Boy]

Not an answer to the question but the short film I have linked below fascinates me in the way someone relatively young deals with their own impending and inevitable passing:

https://youtu.be/S2eUw0CUuMc

Not a man who's politics I always had a lot of time for but his determination to enjoy what was left of his life and to have a 'good' death is interesting.

[Killiehibbie]

Get my critical illness payment and probably beat the clock by a few months.

[Bishop Hibee]

My dad called it 'a hammer blow' when he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour aged 63 in 2006. He was given a year to live and lived just about that. Having lived through his experience, I think the fact that he was relatively young and had only enjoyed 3 years retirement was difficult for him. I've seen people at an older age, say in their 80's more ready and able to deal with such news. Like myself, my dad was a committed Catholic and I'd say this definitely helped him although it didn't ease the pain for me watching him going downhill. That said, he was able to die with dignity at home and the care he received from the nurses and my mum was humbling.

I'd say therefore that the age of diagnoses would affect how I felt but my faith that their is an afterlife would help. I can only admire young people who are diagnosed as terminally ill and live their life to the full in a cheerful fashion.

[Pete]

I would definately go looking for God.

[goosano]

One of the most extraordinary reactions to being given a terminal diagnosis was that of Wilko Johnson of Dr Feelgood fame. He was diagnosed as having 9 months to live with pancreatic cancer-much later he was found to have a lower grade tumour that was successfully resected. It is detailed in the documentary The Ecstacy of Wilko Johnson. He describes the year after diagnosis as the best year of his life
www.dailymotion.com/video/x42o9ac
The first few minutes are very powerful

[johnbc70]

Had a friend who was only 37 when diagnosed with terminal cancer, lasted nearly 2 years and he visited friends, went travelling and did as much as he could. An impossible thing to imagine I am guessing.

[steakbake]

An uncle of mine was diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago and has since passed. He was pretty stoical and reflective on the positive aspects his life to that point. I spoke to him a couple of days later and he said the only reaction is to focus on extending his life as much as he could but to be thankful for what he'd had so far.

I've given it a lot of thought since then. I almost got hit by a car a couple of months ago - so close, I could scarce believe it missed and had to sit down and pinch myself to be sure I was still alive. I was spooked for daysThinking at that moment, I felt that in some ways, having a terminal illness would at least have given me time to be with my family and friends. Other people is what brings happiness in life, I think. I'd be able to handle it if I knew I could reassure them that I was in the mindset that death is the ultimate and only guaranteed human experience. Something we will all face at some time. It's how you can try come to terms with it which is key in these situations, I feel.

[Hibrandenburg]

We're all going one way the other. Either you'll know it's coming or you won't but it's coming.

I like to think I'm kind of preparing myself for the inevitable, every day I like to remind myself of all I have to be grateful for and that everything I have is only temporary. I'm not religious and can't imagine I'll go down that road but I still believe the meaning of life is to be as good a fellow traveller to the people making the same journey as you as possible and follow your conscience. There's always going to be regrets at the end, you're job in life has to be to minimise them.

Nothing lasts for ever so enjoy it whilst you can.

[Hibrandenburg]

Sombre question.

Hope you're alright Mr Radge!

[sleeping giant]

Hope you are ok Radge and its just a question to stimulate debate.

[BroxburnHibee]

Don't think any of us can truly answer the question until we actually face it.

[Hibbyradge]

Sorry for the drama.

2 people in my life have been diagnosed as terminally ill and it's getting to me. I was feeling particularly morose when I posted.

I'm very close to one of them and they are desperately struggling mentally. I've read stories about the heroics of people who have been given the worst type of timescale, but I guess for most, it's not romantic like that.

[Beefster]

I can't say definitively but I'd like to think that I'd refuse all treatment aimed at prolonging my life a few weeks/months and make the very best of the time I had left to make some new memories with my family, whilst I was able. Unfortunately, I've seen a few people who were given x months to live and spent the time that they had left being relatively 'okay' getting treatment when all it really did was extend the end stage.

****ty situation all round though.

[steakbake]

Sorry for the drama.

2 people in my life have been diagnosed as terminally ill and it's getting to me. I was feeling particularly morose when I posted.

I'm very close to one of them and they are desperately struggling mentally. I've read stories about the heroics of people who have been given the worst type of timescale, but I guess for most, it's not romantic like that.

Sorry to hear about it. It's really difficult to know what to say or do and in the only time I've come across it in a personal capacity, you're kind of led by how the person themselves feel which will depend. I've come across it a couple of times in a professional capacity, but you're slightly more removed from the reality.

People are under all kinds of pressure to be coping for the sake of their nearest and dearest - and that's both ways. It's a time of heightened emotions and far greater significance in every day life.

I think that threads like this and the depression one are pretty important in fact, even as an outlet for some of the unsaid things that pass between people. I'm glad you brought it up and felt moved to contribute to it.

[Sylar]

I'd like to think I'd get whatever affairs in order and then try and enjoy my remaining time with those who already fulfill my life to the fullest before popping off.

As a scientist, I'm without any doubt that there's nothing after and nothing comes next, so it would be pragmatic, logistical and personal things I would tend to before the end.

In my idealised scenario to a far-from-ideal situation, of course.

[heretoday]

Speaking as a miserable so and so I'd probably feel very sorry for myself and then turn to drink. I might even take up smoking again. Why not?

[Hibbyradge]

I might even take up smoking again. Why not?

Because it's horrible?

[Hibrandenburg]

Speaking as a miserable so and so I'd probably feel very sorry for myself and then turn to drink. I might even take up smoking again. Why not?

I'd probably give Heroin a go. Nothing to lose and I've always been curious how it drives some people to put it before their dignity.

[steakbake]

I'd probably give Heroin a go. Nothing to lose and I've always been curious how it drives some people to put it before their dignity.

Not a bad shout.

[Onceinawhile]

Sky dive
Acid
Lsd
Watch the scottish cup final a few more times.
Write a bunch of letters to my sons, for the big occasions in their life (18th, wedding, first child etc)

[Pete]

I can't say definitively but I'd like to think that I'd refuse all treatment aimed at prolonging my life a few weeks/months and make the very best of the time I had left to make some new memories with my family, whilst I was able. Unfortunately, I've seen a few people who were given x months to live and spent the time that they had left being relatively 'okay' getting treatment when all it really did was extend the end stage.

****ty situation all round though.

Someone I knew, when asked about this subject, always told everyone that he would refuse treatment as he'd also seen people in some states towards the end. He figured he'd like to go out quickly and not prolong the end stage.

When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he didn't quite stick to his word. Understandably, he wanted to live as long as possible and decided to do everything he could to prolong his life. He had lots to live for and the choice was obvious: refuse treatment and live for three months or take treatment and you could have years left.

Ironically, it was the treatment that eventually got him as he developed a lung infection during chemotherapy, which had actually shrunk the tumours to a manageable level. I guess the Lord was taking him anyway.

He's proof for me that the survival intstinct would kick in and you'd go for it but I suppose it depends on the condition and chances of survival.

[#FromTheCapital]

I'd probably give Heroin a go. Nothing to lose and I've always been curious how it drives some people to put it before their dignity.

If it's anything like my grandads passing, they'll pump you full of the next best thing before you go anyway - Morphine.

[Future17]

I'd like to think I'd get whatever affairs in order and then try and enjoy my remaining time with those who already fulfill my life to the fullest before popping off.

As a scientist, I'm without any doubt that there's nothing after and nothing comes next, so it would be pragmatic, logistical and personal things I would tend to before the end.

In my idealised scenario to a far-from-ideal situation, of course.

A bit of a tangent, but it always makes me laugh when people use that "as a scientist" line. Don't get me wrong, everyone is obviously entitled to believe whatever they want to believe, I just don't understand the relevance of your field of work to the formation of that belief.

[Finn2015]

Think I would quit work and just enjoy myself as much as possible, maybe even try my own bucket list. Hard to gauge however. ibdont want this sounding bad but age has a lot to do with it and being told your terminally ill when young or relatively young is bound to pull your world apart

[Sylar]

A bit of a tangent, but it always makes me laugh when people use that "as a scientist" line. Don't get me wrong, everyone is obviously entitled to believe whatever they want to believe, I just don't understand the relevance of your field of work to the formation of that belief.

Wholeheartedly agree with you that everyone's entitled to believe whatever they wish and I don't use the "as a scientist" as some dismissal of religion in its entirety. The relevance is that being a scientist comes with a certain way of thinking, of processing information and arriving at informed conclusions. In the absence of any evidence of something, Occam's Razor takes effect and the conclusion is simple - that it doesn't exist.

Anyway, not wishing to tangent the thread, which is a pretty profound question about mortality. Just wanted to address your remark with my perspective. No worries at all if you disagree or don't share my view :aok:

[Hibbyradge]

Think I would quit work and just enjoy myself as much as possible, maybe even try my own bucket list. Hard to gauge however. ibdont want this sounding bad but age has a lot to do with it and being told your terminally ill when young or relatively young is bound to pull your world apart

Believe me, age doesn't soften the blow if you're otherwise fit and mentally agile.

[#FromTheCapital]

Would you rather have a death sentence in the form of terminal illness, or a sudden death? I think for your friends and family, a sudden death would be far more difficult to cope with, particularly if you were relatively young. But I think if I was a decent enough age, I'd much prefer a sudden death. If that makes me selfish then so be it.

[Mr Grieves]

Wholeheartedly agree with you that everyone's entitled to believe whatever they wish and I don't use the "as a scientist" as some dismissal of religion in its entirety. The relevance is that being a scientist comes with a certain way of thinking, of processing information and arriving at informed conclusions. In the absence of any evidence of something, Occam's Razor takes effect and the conclusion is simple - that it doesn't exist.

Anyway, not wishing to tangent the thread, which is a pretty profound question about mortality. Just wanted to address your remark with my perspective. No worries at all if you disagree or don't share my view :aok:

I work in a lab with a few devoutly religious folk that have backgrounds in a number of different scientific disciplines. I don't get it myself but "scientists" with religious beliefs are a lot more common than you think.

Anyway, back on topic. I lost my uncle to cancer around 6 months ago. He was given 2 years when he was first diagnosed and he was positive basically bringing forward his retirement plans and cashing in his pensions to fund it. The first few months were ok, he was doing whatever he wanted, catching up with old friends and enjoying the time he had left.

6 months after the diagnosis it all went down hill due to the chemo.
One health issue after another and he was spending more time in hospital than out. There was a massive change in his mental attitude - the positivity went and he was really irritable. His last few months were the worst thing I have ever witnessed, it breaks my heart thinking about what he had to go through.

I just don't think you can say how you'd deal with a terminal illness until you're in that position.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Finn2015]

Believe me, age doesn't soften the blow if you're otherwise fit and mentally agile.

Fair enough and I'm sure you are speaking from the heart but there it is so tragic when people pass away who are so young. Was watching a documentary earlier this week about a soldier who served in Afghanistan and how his family brought back the dog to the UK that he had befriended in that country. The soldier died after being shot by a sniper and he was only 23. I don't know, just honestly shocked and its sobering when you see people as young as that with their whole lives ahead of them having that taken away. That's all I meant by it, not looking argue or say those who pass after what is considered a long or full life is not upsetting or a deep loss, just really find it tragic when people have their lives snatched away at such young ages. Hope that makes sense

[Billy McKirdy]

My workmate was diagnosed with terminal cancer two years ago, as a relatively young man in his mid 40s with a young family he bravely went through the chemo and radio therapy in an effort to prolong his life, what was remarkable was his determination to continue working throughout his treatment as it was important for him to maintain a normality about his life, he was given the hammer blow at the turn of this year that his cancer had spread but he refused to stop working and was still working full time a month before his death.
I think different people deal with it in different ways and for him it was business as usual almost up to the end.

[Lucius Apuleius]

I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

[#FromTheCapital]

I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

So sorry to hear that LA. I admire your strength. The fact that you're determined to keep fighting and still seeing the positive side of life deserves a lot of respect. All the best to you.

[Hibrandenburg]

I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

I really hope I can show similar strength to that what you've shown should I be in a similar situation LA. In the last few weeks I've lost 2 friends who were taking part in sport at the time and their deaths have devastated the families because it came completely out of the blue.

Hope the time you have left is as positive as can be given the situation and there's still scope to create positive new memories. GGTTH

[Finn2015]

I went through the whole grief cycle thing from denial all the way through to where I am now which is basically an acceptance of the inevitable. I was always going to die, I just would never have chosen to die the way I probably will. My cancer is incurable as opposed to terminal so there is a chance I will die of something else before the cancer sees me off. Ironically it was the treatment that nearly got me last year but thankfully I let the wife get the doctor in when I realised I was pretty bad, just in time, or the chemo would have got me. Been fighting for 6 and a half years now and not going to stop. Lot of restrictions in life. Cannot watch hibs as much as I used to. Small things though. Thankfulness that my cancer has taken the route it has. I Bury a friend next week who was diagnosed just 3 months ago. Sometimes not sure what I would prefer but at the minute, happy to be alive.

Much admiration and respect. 👍

[Ergye]

http://i396.photobucket.com/albums/pp49/Chuckie1977/tibetan_zpsyhqwmffp.jpg (http://s396.photobucket.com/user/Chuckie1977/media/tibetan_zpsyhqwmffp.jpg.html)

This is a wonderful book that has helped countless people deal with and understand death.

It's been adopted by institutions, centers and groups of various kinds, educational, medical and spiritual the world over.

Nurses, doctors and those involved with care for the dying around the world integrate it's methods in to their daily work. It can transform lives, and deaths.

I can send it to anyone who wants it. PM me.

with love.