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View Full Version : Say something nice about Hearts



Eyrie
14-08-2016, 11:21 AM
We're very quick to put the boot into our neighbours, but in the interests of fairness I feel we should also acknowledge that there are some positives to being a Hearts fan. Here's three for starters.

1 - You save a lot of money on birthdays and Christmas because one card and present covers your mother, sister, aunt and cousin.

2 - You can count to twelve using just your fingers.

3 - You have a personally addressed autographed copy of Nigel Farage's autobiography.

Any others?

Northernhibee
14-08-2016, 11:23 AM
They jambottled it which helped us win the Scottish Cup.

jgl07
14-08-2016, 11:24 AM
They are not as bad as Rangers, or for that matter, The Rangers?

Callum7
14-08-2016, 11:26 AM
They made there stadium pink to show that pink isn't just a girls colour.

WWFTWTG
14-08-2016, 11:26 AM
They have not stolen poppies or pumped any other charities yet this year - as far as I know

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 11:27 AM
They volunteered to take on that away strip thus saving all other clubs from utter humiliation.

bigwheel
14-08-2016, 11:28 AM
I like the way they High five their fans before the end of semi finals at ER vs ICT


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Itsnoteasy
14-08-2016, 11:37 AM
They allowed AK to score a double

Deansy
14-08-2016, 11:37 AM
I love them, when Neilson/Potter/Budgie etc talk about their 'real/serious' chances of winning the SPL, the wee, scarf-twirling cherubs, in all their childlike, naive, innocence, actually swallow it - it's sooooooo cute !!. And the best of it is, it happens EVERY season so it NEVER gets old !!

#FromTheCapital
14-08-2016, 11:38 AM
Hearts are always good for a laugh. Huge expectations from the fans equals arrogance and delusions of grandeur. It's always hilarious seeing them brought down a peg when the team inevitably fail to meet those expectations.

Scouse Hibee
14-08-2016, 11:40 AM
They keep the flies away from the rest of Edinburgh.

jarre1875
14-08-2016, 11:41 AM
Eh. Nope. Nothings coming to me. Sorry

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Archie70
14-08-2016, 11:46 AM
They're building a main stand with corporate boxes facing away from the pitch so sponsors don't have to watch the game but if they open the windows can listen to the crowd!

-Jonesy-
14-08-2016, 11:48 AM
They helped us win the Scottish cup

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 11:48 AM
They bake exceedingly good cakes

fat freddy
14-08-2016, 11:49 AM
I like the way they High five their fans before the end of semi finals at ER vs ICT


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Don't you mean High six?

Cauld Bovril
14-08-2016, 11:52 AM
They like when we are happy and even sing a song about us being gay

Pretty Boy
14-08-2016, 11:55 AM
They were quite good in the league cup a long time ago.

HUTCHYHIBBY
14-08-2016, 11:58 AM
They have an amazing range of maroon cardigans and pish stained trousers in the club shop.

fat freddy
14-08-2016, 11:58 AM
I like how they built The John Robertson Suite. It has provided us with years of amusement. The Calor gas heaters, plastic chairs and torn wallpaper have entered Edinburgh comedy folklore.

Mr White
14-08-2016, 11:59 AM
They were quite right to sack George Burley when they did.

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 12:01 PM
They protected Edinburgh's good name by being of Midlothian

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 12:02 PM
They have an amazing range of maroon cardigans and pish stained trousers in the club shop.
[emoji106] They've provided George foulkes with a team to support

Sir David Gray
14-08-2016, 12:03 PM
Their fans are favourites to win Britain's Got Talent this year by assembling the largest group of people to do a giant 5-1 gesture, using only one hand.

BoomtownHibees
14-08-2016, 12:03 PM
They let Celtc win the league and Aberdeen win the cup, all within a week

Col2
14-08-2016, 12:04 PM
They provide a home for not so talented big physical players who might not get a game anywhere else..

Bobo
14-08-2016, 12:08 PM
They brought mass celebrations to half the city in 86 .... the Green half :flag::flag:

MSK
14-08-2016, 12:08 PM
Helping the music industry, sales of banjos are at an all time high

Kavinho
14-08-2016, 12:12 PM
Exemplary fashion sense.

green day
14-08-2016, 12:16 PM
They have some really famous celebrity fans like, Erm.........

fat freddy
14-08-2016, 12:23 PM
They have some really famous celebrity fans like, Erm.........
Unfortunately Ronnie Corbett has passed away

Nicho87
14-08-2016, 12:26 PM
2 nil and we won the cup
2 nil and we won the cup
2 nil and we won the cup

can we please please please starting singing this when we next play those plonkers

Onion
14-08-2016, 12:26 PM
Hearts fans are more obsessed with Hibs than many Hibs fans.

Hibbyradge
14-08-2016, 12:28 PM
They come to Easter Road with the away fans so they can give us cash.

Jack Hackett
14-08-2016, 12:34 PM
They provide continued support for the cardigan industry, which would otherwise be in terminal decline

Dashing Bob S
14-08-2016, 12:47 PM
They aren't fussy about branding and commercialism - they allowed HMP Saughton to let sex offenders wear the famous maroon jerseys with pride.

SuperAllyMcleod
14-08-2016, 12:51 PM
Their hypocrisy!

There was some roaster on the Evening News website the other day accusing Hibs fans of still celebrating the cup win three months after the event - his username was HampdenHeroes2012 - they just don't do irony either.

Pretty Boy
14-08-2016, 12:55 PM
Their commitment to helping out the cities traffic infastructure is unquestionable. Not content with providing 3 oversized bus shelters, they are adding a 4th.

3pm
14-08-2016, 12:57 PM
55 years isn't as bad as 56.

lord bunberry
14-08-2016, 12:57 PM
They prevent my expensive new shoes getting wet by sooking up all the water in the puddles.

southern hibby
14-08-2016, 12:59 PM
My dad's a Jambo, however don't believe he's mine I believe my mother was on the game when I was conceived. Well I'd rather be a wino's son than a jambo's.That's as nice as I can be


Let them NEVER FORGET

GGTTH.

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 12:59 PM
They published an outstandingly long creditors list.

SunshineOnLeith
14-08-2016, 12:59 PM
They released Jason Cummings.

cabbageandribs1875
14-08-2016, 01:03 PM
hertz fans lick the windows on public buses/trams thus keeping condensation at a minimum

Danderhall Hibs
14-08-2016, 01:08 PM
When they dive for a penalty they don't claim the penalty and just wait on the ref give it.

Ultimate sportsmanship.

Hibs07p
14-08-2016, 01:43 PM
They gave Robbie a job.

GGTTH

Scottish Cup Winners 2016

MoscowHibs
14-08-2016, 01:48 PM
They have a fantastic collection of poppy's.

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 01:51 PM
They proved that reversible satin blousons are never a bad addition to a gentleman's wardrobe.

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 01:54 PM
This man, THIS MAN!

17300

Waxy
14-08-2016, 01:59 PM
John McGlynn manager and a leading fashionista of our era.

21.05.2016
14-08-2016, 02:00 PM
They deliberatly get themselves knocked out of the league cup every year as its "just a wee cup for diddy teams". Being the footballing goliath that they are, they charitably go out to allow all us "wee teams" to have a chance.

They've provided much comedy gold ver the years, we've all been kept very well entertained.


Oh and they bottled a 2 goal lead at home in the final 10 minutes to pave the way to our scottish cup win :greengrin:giruy2:

southsider
14-08-2016, 02:01 PM
No. Why would any sane man do that. Shan ground, gastly colour of strip and as for the change one.......,lost for words. Didn't always hate them but times change.

MyJo
14-08-2016, 02:02 PM
They aren't Rangers (as much as they try to be)

Pretty Boy
14-08-2016, 02:02 PM
No. Why would any sane man do that. Shan ground, gastly colour of strip and as for the change one.......,lost for words. Didn't always hate them but times change.

Have you read the whole thread?

banarc7062
14-08-2016, 02:05 PM
They have a fantastic collection of poppy's.

Aye, belong elsewhere . GGTTH

cabbageandribs1875
14-08-2016, 02:09 PM
their ground has one of the oldest stands in world football, respect

hibsbollah
14-08-2016, 02:10 PM
They saved us all from the evil imperial designs of the Kaiser. The Bosch would be making us all eat sausages and we'd all be speaking German now if it wasn't for the Famous Heart of Midlothian dance troup.

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 02:17 PM
They gave an old Russian pensioner a big suitcase full of cash as a goodbye present to thank him for setting up their administration. It was known as a share "issue".

MacGruber
14-08-2016, 02:18 PM
They are cheating loathsome immoral charity thieving arrogant f***s with footballs biggest small cock syndrome inherent throughout the corrupt manky club.

That's my nicest one ;)

gillythehibby
14-08-2016, 02:31 PM
It was Hertz players remember that won the world war single handedly and saved us all 😋

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 02:40 PM
Asbestos specialists remain in employment thanks to HOMFC's dedication to keeping their death trap old stand

ahibby
14-08-2016, 02:43 PM
They are third best......................................in Edinburgh.

O'Rourke3
14-08-2016, 02:50 PM
They keep the flies off the rest of us.

Sent via the bushes @ EM

HoboHarry
14-08-2016, 02:55 PM
They released Jason Cummings.
James Keatings too......

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 02:57 PM
British Transport Police officers are kept up-to-speed with enforcing the law relating to racially and religiously offensive language, thanks to the sterling singing work of HOMFC's travelling support :agree:

Finn2015
14-08-2016, 02:57 PM
They are cheating loathsome immoral charity thieving arrogant f***s with footballs biggest small cock syndrome inherent throughout the corrupt manky club.

That's my nicest one ;)

Indeed I can't think of anything nicer 😂

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 03:00 PM
The sherry industry receives vital investment, safeguarding jobs, thanks to Lord Pishybreeks?

NAE NOOKIE
14-08-2016, 03:03 PM
They have done more than any other football club to attract the Rugger fraternity by inventing a crossover version of the beautiful game which combines the pitch and rules of soccer with the physicality and booming punts up the pitch of Rugby ....... Hibs are years behind in this innovative style, which is why Hearts have left us standing in attracting support from Edinburgh's leafier suburbs.

This hard work goes on apace as Heart of Midlowthian release a strip which is a modern day tug of the forelock to their 'betters' and build a stand which has a restaurant positioned to avoid the vulgarity of looking like its part of a 'fitba' ground and instead has magnificent views of Edinburgh castle ..... thus making the Torquils, Farquhars and Frasers feel as if they are having luncheon at their west end clubs. They are doing a magnificent job of tapping into what is normally not part of the football market and that has to be respected.

Add to that their incredible card count, fatty ( pishy breeks ) Foulkes and a former manager with an alleged love of watersports and they are at the forefront of the current fashion of Yellow and Maroon as this years go to colour combination :greengrin

What a club http://www.hibs.net/images/smilies/not%20worthy.gif

NORTHERNHIBBY
14-08-2016, 04:08 PM
They let people know that being able to put your chin on the crossbar while your feet are on the floor won't count against you.

fiolex1
14-08-2016, 04:15 PM
I really admire their "bring a brick to the game" scheme to help build the new stand. Equally the "bring cement to the game" for next season

Highland_Hibee
14-08-2016, 04:43 PM
Thanks to their new strip they can be the Jam Tarts at home and the Fruit Salads away.

Frogga
14-08-2016, 04:50 PM
A lot of the texts I got after David Gray had finished pissing all over Rangers were from Jambos sending their congratulations.

I don't have a huge issue with Hearts outside of actual games v them. I get on with the majority of Jambos I've met.

It's The Rangers 2012 I detest. They are as bad as that other Rangers team that used to exist. ****my Mc****bags.

Ryan91
14-08-2016, 05:27 PM
They saved us all from the evil imperial designs of the Kaiser. The Bosch would be making us all eat sausages and we'd all be speaking German now if it wasn't for the Famous Heart of Midlothian dance troup.

Let's not forget their humility with regards to this, I mean it's not as if they claim they single-handedly helped to save Football in Britain.

Sir David Gray
14-08-2016, 05:28 PM
A lot of the texts I got after David Gray had finished pissing all over Rangers were from Jambos sending their congratulations.

I don't have a huge issue with Hearts outside of actual games v them. I get on with the majority of Jambos I've met.

It's The Rangers 2012 I detest. They are as bad as that other Rangers team that used to exist. ****my Mc****bags.

You're not really getting this thread eh!? :greengrin

Mibbes Aye
14-08-2016, 05:39 PM
Let's not forget their humility with regards to this, I mean it's not as if they claim they single-handedly helped to save Football in Britain.

:agree:

If my club had defeated Kaiser Bill, the Nazis, Mussolini, Philip II of Spain, the Klingons and the bad guys from Home Alone, then I would expect us to milk it to the extreme.

Fortunately HOMFC are a club with grace, sensitivity and style - they would never shamelessly take advantage of the deaths of millions to try and make themselves look good :agree:

Mr White
14-08-2016, 05:45 PM
:agree:

If my club had defeated Kaiser Bill, the Nazis, Mussolini, Philip II of Spain, the Klingons and the bad guys from Home Alone, then I would expect us to milk it to the extreme

Particularly amusing that after trouncing all those evil fascist badguys (and I'm eternally grateful, thanks guys) they got pumped off John McGinns St Mirren in the league cup final.

They just can't win that cup eh?

At least not since JFK was in the oval office.

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 05:56 PM
They were debt free back in the days when they "owed it to themselves" :ostrich::jamboclow:titanic:

Bostonhibby
14-08-2016, 05:59 PM
:agree:

If my club had defeated Kaiser Bill, the Nazis, Mussolini, Philip II of Spain, the Klingons and the bad guys from Home Alone, then I would expect us to milk it to the extreme.

Fortunately HOMFC are a club with grace, sensitivity and style - they would never shamelessly take advantage of the deaths of millions to try and make themselves look good :agree:

100% right as ever, but they'd never have beaten the Klingons without Craig Thompson penalising the Klingons for being in the wrong galaxy when they clearly weren't.

Eyrie
14-08-2016, 06:00 PM
Being a Hearts fan means never being short of cash if there's a charity box nearby.

AltheHibby
14-08-2016, 06:03 PM
When things get bad at ER they are always available to remind us that at least we're not them, cheering us up.

Barney McGrew
14-08-2016, 06:06 PM
They have their own celebrity barman who will pour pints for an hour at the local yam hostelry for the mere price of two return club class tickets and an all expenses paid suite at the Caley for him and his girlfriend.

We can only marvel at such generosity.

Austinho
14-08-2016, 06:21 PM
They lead the way as an equal opportunities employer. Convicted child molester with no future? Dont worry, Hearts will still hire you as their manager!

They also have a fantastic track record of sticking up for their own employees. Convicted for grooming children while playing for the club? Don't worry, Hearts will still defend you at all costs!

Jim Herriot
14-08-2016, 06:34 PM
First Edinburgh Football Association team to ignore the ban on playing Hibs, Xmas Day 1875.

Pretty Boy
14-08-2016, 07:34 PM
They do a good raffle. Widescreen TV is the prize, just chuck them £5 and the winner will definitely be announced soon.

Hibee87
14-08-2016, 07:44 PM
They give us money, even when were not playing them

GreenNWhiteArmy
14-08-2016, 07:45 PM
Nut. **** Hearts and their small cock syndrome

Hillsidehibby
14-08-2016, 07:48 PM
They gave an old Russian pensioner a big suitcase full of cash as a goodbye present to thank him for setting up their administration. It was known as a share "issue".

:greengrin I know one who spent 11 grand on the "present"

Libby Hibby
14-08-2016, 07:55 PM
Nice to see them come to ER yesterday and cheer us on to victory from the away end...

Jack Hackett
14-08-2016, 07:55 PM
You're not really getting this thread eh!? :greengrin

Just a bitter hobo who doesn't appreciate the outstanding contribution this upstanding institution has made to civilisation

Bostonhibby
15-08-2016, 03:35 PM
:greengrin I know one who spent 11 grand on the "present"
A true believer in that particular leader then!

Bostonhibby
15-08-2016, 03:38 PM
:greengrin I know one who spent 11 grand on the "present"
A believer then - and on a grand scale!

The Gorf
15-08-2016, 03:43 PM
A wee bit off kilter but......... I was on eBay looking for one of the old style Hibs badge as a pendant and came across an enamel badge from the mutants saying "22 in a row we beat the Hibs". This obsession with our Club (to the point where they commission a badge to be made) is really quite laughable.

Viva_Palmeiras
15-08-2016, 04:42 PM
A wee bit off kilter but......... I was on eBay looking for one of the old style Hibs badge as a pendant and came across an enamel badge from the mutants saying "22 in a row we beat the Hibs". This obsession with our Club (to the point where they commission a badge to be made) is really quite laughable.


They appreciate the simple things in life and are always up for a prank - like this dude (who I presume is still in Singapore as he'll no longer have the cost of a flight home - eat yer Heart(s) out Jeremy Beadle - what share certificate?!...

"We had one really outstanding personal investment of £27,500 from someone living in Singapore.”

http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/teams/hearts/hearts-fans-takeover-bid-criticised-by-vladimir-romanov-1-2683157

snooky
15-08-2016, 04:52 PM
They'll sign players that other teams reject for being ugly.
It don't matter one jot to them if you have a face like a bag of spanners.

Danderhall Hibs
15-08-2016, 05:17 PM
A wee bit off kilter but......... I was on eBay looking for one of the old style Hibs badge as a pendant and came across an enamel badge from the mutants saying "22 in a row we beat the Hibs". This obsession with our Club (to the point where they commission a badge to be made) is really quite laughable.

One that's factually incorrect as well.

Mibbes Aye
15-08-2016, 05:25 PM
One that's factually incorrect as well.

Grammatically poor as well.

So other than being untrue and worded badly, it's fine :agree:

CRAZYHIBBY
15-08-2016, 05:32 PM
A wee bit off kilter but......... I was on eBay looking for one of the old style Hibs badge as a pendant and came across an enamel badge from the mutants saying "22 in a row we beat the Hibs". This obsession with our Club (to the point where they commission a badge to be made) is really quite laughable.

Except they didn't beat us 22 times in a row...

Eyrie
15-08-2016, 05:57 PM
Their amazing ability to believe in whatever they have just been told by Mercer/Robinson/Romanov/Budge demonstrates an unthinking devotion to their leader that most religious cults would kill for.

snooky
15-08-2016, 07:50 PM
Except they didn't beat us 22 times in a row...

Always wondered, who's the girl is in your avatar CH? (I've lived a sheltered life, btw. :wink:)

mca
15-08-2016, 08:58 PM
Sorry Folks.. But i Just Cant Find " Something Nice " to say about Hearts.. Im Strugglin..

snooky
15-08-2016, 09:09 PM
They only need to be able to count up to five when reminiscing.
How cute. :spammy:

Logie
15-08-2016, 09:22 PM
They let us come back from 2-0 to pull their pants down at home and draw to then go on and beat them in the return. I then mind we went on and beat another couple teams before lifting the Scottish cup, it doesn't appear to be a dream 😊

Bostonhibby
15-08-2016, 10:00 PM
Their amazing ability to believe in whatever they have just been told by Mercer/Robinson/Romanov/Budge demonstrates an unthinking devotion to their leader that most religious cults would kill for.
It seems like they might have been had over by a number of cults, even if they were bowing and scraping to them simultaneously.

They may well have admired them so much they wanted to be like them, a bunch of cults.

Edson Arantes
15-08-2016, 10:00 PM
They'll sign players that other teams reject for being ugly.
It don't matter one jot to them if you have a face like a bag of spanners.

Paul Kane?

ok, he's no Stevie Fulton, but be fair.

Mibbes Aye
15-08-2016, 10:31 PM
It seems like they might have been had over by a number of cults, even if they were bowing and scraping to them simultaneously.

They may well have admired them so much they wanted to be like them, a bunch of cults.

:greengrin

FranckSuzy
15-08-2016, 10:44 PM
They leave all the soap for us hobo, junkies to purchase instead.

EH6 Hibby
16-08-2016, 08:58 AM
Their fans can always be trusted to run a bus to Cup Finals.

tonyhib7
16-08-2016, 09:07 AM
Still thinking :confused:

Finn2015
16-08-2016, 09:46 AM
Still thinking :confused:

Think we will be in this boat for a while. Like a dung beetle, no real redeemable feature

The Leith Dutch
16-08-2016, 11:12 AM
2 - You can count to twelve using just your fingers.

And 12 and a half if they get their todgers out.....

givescotlandfreedom
16-08-2016, 11:43 AM
They kept Gorgie's economy afloat in the 80s by kindly purchasing champions t-shirts prior to their historic win as well as bananas every time a black player played at Tynecastle.

Oscar T Grouch
16-08-2016, 11:48 AM
Think we will be in this boat for a while. Like a dung beetle, no real redeemable feature

To be fair, dung beetles play an important part of the ecology of Africa, without them most of the vast African plains would be barren and desert like. Jambos on the other hand have no real or imagined uses. :agree:

Biggie
16-08-2016, 11:57 AM
They have shown that they have compassion and understanding as they were willing to give convicted peados a chance by employing, and playing them.

hibee-boys
16-08-2016, 11:58 AM
Their honking away strip helps bring on the post hangover boak, saves the fingers down the throat trick!👍