Co-worker won't shut up, suggestions?

[The_Exile]

I'm quite a quiet soul really, like to just sit and get on with things, especially in work. Problem is, we've got a new lassie started and they've plonked her beside me, she won't shut up, she literally talks constantly and about everything and anything, even now she's talking about monopoly and I'm sitting ignoring her whilst typing this, how do you stop someone from spraffing so much rubbish?!! I've been down the "right I need to get this done so I'm going to ignore everyone" route but still no luck, that shuts her up for about 30-40 seconds before she starts up on something else.

In the past half hour she's went on about cyclists getting on her nerves and that if they get run over it's their own fault, the taste of champagne being no different from wine through the soda stream (seriously, not joking), and the colour of the grass looks different in winter, she mentioned something about dolphins there but I'm no really listening so god knows what dolphins and grass have got in common, perhaps she's been smoking some grass and has seen dolphins? I'm cracking up! Short of punching her in the mouth what else can I do? My boss thinks it's hilarious.

[Moulin Yarns]

Headphones. If allowed.

[wpj]

Build a wall of stationery between you

[Beefster]

Do stuff to occupy her. Put her stapler in some jelly.

[Pretty Boy]

If you get an answer be sure to let me know.

I have the same issue, girl opposite talks utter pish to me and whoever is on the end of the phone all day. An expert at being busy doing nothing whilst I work my erse off.

She's quite a horrible person into the bargain, or it seems that way when I occassionally listen to her.

[easty]

Step it up a notch. Be more annoying and boring than she is.

It'll work like cognitive behavioural therapy sort of. When she's talking rubbish, change the subject to something else. She talks about monopoly, you talk about "what's the best stock cube, oxo or knorr?". She talks about dolphins, you talk about the length of your jacket sleeves. Until she no longer wants to talk about anything to you, as she'll equate it with hearing a rubbish story. Conversely, if she's not being a pain in the ass, at random points through the day, offer her a sweetie, buy a bag of Haribo and keep them in your drawer. After a while she'll subconsciously equate being quiet with getting sweets.

I have no idea if any of that will work, but it looks like it makes sense a little bit. Maybe.

[Mr White]

I think she maybe has a point about the soda stream actually. Heston Blumenthal apparently did a blind test taste in the street with 3 good quality champagnes and some blue nun that had been fizzed in a soda stream. The blue nun consistently came out as the overwhelming favourite I believe. Unless he rigged it of course.

Can you ask your manager if you can move as you're going out of your mind?

[snooky]

I'm quite a quiet soul really, like to just sit and get on with things, especially in work. Problem is, we've got a new lassie started and they've plonked her beside me, she won't shut up, she literally talks constantly and about everything and anything, even now she's talking about monopoly and I'm sitting ignoring her whilst typing this, how do you stop someone from spraffing so much rubbish?!! I've been down the "right I need to get this done so I'm going to ignore everyone" route but still no luck, that shuts her up for about 30-40 seconds before she starts up on something else.

In the past half hour she's went on about cyclists getting on her nerves and that if they get run over it's their own fault, the taste of champagne being no different from wine through the soda stream (seriously, not joking), and the colour of the grass looks different in winter, she mentioned something about dolphins there but I'm no really listening so god knows what dolphins and grass have got in common, perhaps she's been smoking some grass and has seen dolphins? I'm cracking up! Short of punching her in the mouth what else can I do? My boss thinks it's hilarious.

Try saying with a sincere smile "You know I'd love to chat but I really am busy at the moment".
Repeat at suitable intervals until she gets the message. :cool2:

[Scouse Hibee]

The truth is best "shut the **** up,your constant gabbing pisses me right off".............silence.

[Just Alf]

Step it up a notch. Be more annoying and boring than she is.

It'll work like cognitive behavioural therapy sort of. When she's talking rubbish, change the subject to something else. She talks about monopoly, you talk about "what's the best stock cube, oxo or knorr?". She talks about dolphins, you talk about the length of your jacket sleeves. Until she no longer wants to talk about anything to you, as she'll equate it with hearing a rubbish story. Conversely, if she's not being a pain in the ass, at random points through the day, offer her a sweetie, buy a bag of Haribo and keep them in your drawer. After a while she'll subconsciously equate being quiet with getting sweets.

I have no idea if any of that will work, but it looks like it makes sense a little bit. Maybe.
Something like this works with Barking dogs.... give it a go!!!!

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[DH1875]

The truth is best "shut the **** up,your constant gabbing pisses me right off".............silence.

This, just tell her to shut it.

[GlesgaeHibby]

Headphones. If allowed.

This.

When I just want to get the head down and get on with stuff, headphones in, music turned up, job done.

[Onceinawhile]

At the next work party, make an obvious pass at her, then it'll be hopelessly awkward and she won't speak to you.

[Just Alf]

At the next work party, make an obvious pass at her, then it'll be hopelessly awkward and she won't speak to you.
Well... at least not until you get out of hospital! :-)



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[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Step it up a notch. Be more annoying and boring than she is.

It'll work like cognitive behavioural therapy sort of. When she's talking rubbish, change the subject to something else. She talks about monopoly, you talk about "what's the best stock cube, oxo or knorr?". She talks about dolphins, you talk about the length of your jacket sleeves. Until she no longer wants to talk about anything to you, as she'll equate it with hearing a rubbish story. Conversely, if she's not being a pain in the ass, at random points through the day, offer her a sweetie, buy a bag of Haribo and keep them in your drawer. After a while she'll subconsciously equate being quiet with getting sweets.

I have no idea if any of that will work, but it looks like it makes sense a little bit. Maybe.

Sounds like an ex MBH man talking of his own personal experiences! ;-)

[The_Exile]

:tee hee: Some great suggestions, I've used the sweeties trick on the bairns for a while now, works a treat (only joking, for any social workers looking in). She's a weegie to boot, so the old :giruy2: suggestion might be top pick so far.

[sleeping giant]

My Wife is like that. She doesn't shut up ever.
Follows me downstairs in the morning talking away as soon as I have opened my eyes.
Just as I'm about to fall asleep in bed , she'll ask where I'm working the next day etc.

I don't really have an answer to the problem but just wanted you to know that you are not alone :greengrin:

You can't just tell her to shut it. She obviously feels comfy enough in your company to talk crap openly .

Tell her the truth in a jokular manner.
Ask her if her mouth is glad when she is sleeping.

[Mikey09]

Tell Mrs Budge to shut the **** up!! :greengrin

[Mixu62]

Used to sit opposite a woman who did **** all but speak to her family on the phone all day. And any time we got some temp help, she hogged them when the rest of us were drowning in paperwork.
All you can do is try to keep her busy with more work than she can cope with.

[Greenworld]

Look you carpet munching bitch.im busy doing my work and your work it would seem judging by the double time your mouth seems to be on .
So if you dont mind ( then a big talk to the hand gesture)


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[Sylar]

Look you carpet munching bitch.im busy doing my work and your work it would seem judging by the double time your mouth seems to be on .
So if you dont mind ( then a big talk to the hand gesture)


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I truly despair at this forum sometimes, I really do.

[Greenworld]

Your right might start a whole new conversation for her drop the carpet

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[easty]

Sounds like an ex MBH man talking of his own personal experiences! ;-)

What's a MBH man?

[Beefster]

I truly despair at this forum sometimes, I really do.

Sometimes?

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

What's a MBH man?

Meadowbank House

[easty]

Meadowbank House

Ahhhh.....yeah it's been so long I've lost the acronym.

Too many building acronyms in my head to remember them all, I just left HRB in July and am now in the CMB.

Do I know you from MBH??

[The_Exile]

I came in at 7 am to get all my work done as it's my last day today until Hogmany, lo and behold she hasn't turned up, she is supposed to be in but nobody has any clue where she is, maybe somebody has "taken care of her"? She sometimes goes to the supermarket before work so I'm thinking she's talking to the roast chickens and lost track of time. I brought headphones in today (superb suggestion!) though so they've already been whapped in, my battery is low mind, they'll remain in though and the pretence of me sitting listening to music will continue until hometime if she appears.

[heretoday]

Tell your manager she's affecting your, and others', work.

Mind you, if your manager hasn't realised this already, they are not doing their job either.

[QMU-1875]

Very same problem at my work, headphones get stuck in, sometimes don't even play music!

[The_Exile]

Tell your manager she's affecting your, and others', work.

Mind you, if your manager hasn't realised this already, they are not doing their job either.

Managers aren't up to much, it's one of these places where you'd likely need to murder someone to get a slap on the wrists.

[sleeping giant]

Tell your manager she's affecting your, and others', work.

Mind you, if your manager hasn't realised this already, they are not doing their job either.
Seriously ?
Tell the manager ?

Good grief , it's just a talkative woman.

[easty]

Seriously ?
Tell the manager ?

Good grief , it's just a talkative woman.

And nobody likes a grass either. :greengrin

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Ahhhh.....yeah it's been so long I've lost the acronym.

Too many building acronyms in my head to remember them all, I just left HRB in July and am now in the CMB.

Do I know you from MBH??

Nah, I was invited to leave in 2002! ;-)

[heretoday]

I take it this is not work of national importance?

[Treadstone]

Open up Google.
Type "How to kill a work colleague"
Hit Enter.
Show girl unrelated thing at your desk.
Delete Search history.

[Betty Boop]

Maybe the lassie is excited about Christmas? Miserable sods ! 😐

[Bristolhibby]

I think she maybe has a point about the soda stream actually. Heston Blumenthal apparently did a blind test taste in the street with 3 good quality champagnes and some blue nun that had been fizzed in a soda stream. The blue nun consistently came out as the overwhelming favourite I believe. Unless he rigged it of course.

Can you ask your manager if you can move as you're going out of your mind?

IIRC he went to the City of London and Blue Nun came out the same. Still pretty good odds, considering these guys would have been quaffing vintage champagne since birth.

J

[Pete]

At the next work party, make an obvious pass at her, then it'll be hopelessly awkward and she won't speak to you.

:agree:

Why wait for a party? Tell her she looks stressed and offer her a shoulder massage.

There is, however, a small chance of this backfiring.

[Danderhall Hibs]

:agree:

Why wait for a party? Tell her she looks stressed and offer her a shoulder massage.

There is, however, a small chance of this backfiring.

:agree: she might want a ride.

[Sir David Gray]

I've got someone like that at my work.

Nice enough person and very friendly, she just won't shut up for more than two seconds.

It's not just that she talks, she's so loud it's unbelievable.

If you come up with a solution, let me know what it is. :aok:

[Onceinawhile]

:agree: she might want a ride.

Then he gets a ride. Win win no?

[Squealing pig]

:agree: she might want a ride.

What i was thinking. 1 for the team lol

[#FromTheCapital]

Don't have the misfortune of working with anyone like that at present but know some people like that and I feel your pain. Personally wouldn't have the heart to tell someone to shut the **** up, as some have suggested! No matter how annoying this person is.

[lucky]

FFS give her a break. She probably just nervous about starting a new job and is just a bit excited. It won't help her you sitting there like a miserable git. Cheer up and chat to the woman.

[#FromTheCapital]

FFS give her a break. She probably just nervous about starting a new job and is just a bit excited. It won't help her you sitting there like a miserable git. Cheer up and chat to the woman.

Although it's more than likely that she's just a massive pain in the arse who talks far too much. These people are ok in small doses. But having to spend almost every day sitting next to them is difficult for most people, particularly when there's work to be done.

[danhibees1875]

If I was sitting next to someone who completely ignored me like you, I'd probably come up with a wee game seeing how much absolutely nonsense I could talk about before you eventually crack. :greengrin:

Merry Christmas! :)

[sleeping giant]

Merry bloody Christmas :greengrin

[silverhibee]

:agree:

Why wait for a party? Tell her she looks stressed and offer her a shoulder massage.

There is, however, a small chance of this backfiring.

In 9 months time. :greengrin

[--------]

I truly despair at this forum sometimes, I really do.


:agree: I've read it all the way down, and my sympathy's with the lassie.

There's a lot of guys with unresolved anger issues on this forum, I think .... :hmmm:

[lyonhibs]

Managers aren't up to much, it's one of these places where you'd likely need to murder someone to get a slap on the wrists.

So you work for the council then? :-P

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

:agree: I've read it all the way down, and my sympathy's with the lassie.

There's a lot of guys with unresolved anger issues on this forum, I think .... :hmmm:

Does the guy that you work for ever speak to you? ;-)

[Pete]

:agree: I've read it all the way down, and my sympathy's with the lassie.

There's a lot of guys with unresolved anger issues on this forum, I think .... :hmmm:

I always find that using violence helps with my anger issues. You feel so content afterwards.

[givescotlandfreedom]

I'm a cyclist. Tell her to eff off :)

[SausageSurprise]

Have the same thing with what can only be described as an irritating chunt beside me. He sounds exactly like Ashley from Corrie but with a much squeekier voice. It's at the stage where I just blatantly dingy the roaster but nope, he won't take the hint

[overdrive]

The OP should feel lucky he doesn't sit next to the woman I sit next to. It was only me and her in our office on the 23rd and she went into descriptive detail about how she is riddled with thrush.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Has she got big cans?

I'll reserve judgement on this whole sorry scenario until the above question is answered.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Has she got big cans?

It sounds like she has her knockers.

[SausageSurprise]

The OP should feel lucky he doesn't sit next to the woman I sit next to. It was only me and her in our office on the 23rd and she went into descriptive detail about how she is riddled with thrush.

You should have just countered her thrush tales and told her about the joys of scratching itchy baws or God forbid an itchy brown eye

[danhibees1875]

This thread is certainly no late contender for thread of the year. :boak:

[Wilson]

This thread is certainly no late contender for thread of the year. :boak:

It has everything. Knockers. Thrush. Brown eye. Sausage surprise. It gets my vote.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

This thread is certainly no late contender for thread of the year. :boak:


http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/31220599.jpg

[danhibees1875]

It has everything. Knockers. Thrush. Brown eye. Sausage surprise. It gets my vote.


http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/31220599.jpg

Ah well, maybe I've just forgotten the meaning of Christmas in my old age!

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[Wilson]

Ah well, maybe I've just forgotten the meaning of Christmas in my old age!

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There IS another thread for that :-)

Merry Christmas.

[snooky]

The OP should feel lucky he doesn't sit next to the woman I sit next to. It was only me and her in our office on the 23rd and she went into descriptive detail about how ,she is riddled with thrush.

'Thrush' was the baddie organisation in the 'Man From U.N.C.L.E.' series. Didn't realise their hit-men were still active. Wow!