Cheesy commentary

[hibeesjoe]

Listened too a bit of the final today on the radio. When the commentator said McNamara was "earning his corn" I was in stitches. Scottish pundits seem to have the most cringey patter going. Thought it would be a bit of fun if we got a list going. A few of my favourites are

He's got that in his locker

He brings that too the table

Top drawer

Feel free to add.

[HibsNutter]

It's also noticeable that Sportscene as well as Sportsound is cliche central. Wonder how much these guys are paid to spout the same lines about different teams every week.

[Jones28]

He's got that in his locker

That has to be the most overused sportsound cliche ever

[Michael]

The host of sportscene is always going on about 'juicy bits of action to get our teeth stuck into' and stuff like that. Urgh.

[Greentinted]

"He's asking questions of the United defence"
WTF? Is it a game o fitba' or University Challenge?

And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough." Well in that case he didn't. Cretins.

[Stevie Reid]

Gets on my wick when they put adverbs in front of the word 'decent' - "Very decent", "quite decent" etc. Waiting for the day when someone utters, "it doesn't get much more decent than that".

Football pundits abuse the word 'literally' in terrible fashion also. After the Man Utd game on Monday, Roy Keane was defending Van Gaal and said "he's literally been in the door two minutes". Ok then.

I could go on, so many of them spout utter *****.

[McKenzie]

"He's almost hit it too well" naw he's hit it how he hoped, you never mean to scuff a shot. Annoying

[Stevie Reid]

And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough."

I hate that as well.

[Haymaker]

"That one stayed hit."

[Sergey]

The late Arthur Montford used to proclaim, "that was almost a brilliant pass" as some player sprayed it from deep right down the defender throat.

Giving away possession = Almost a brilliant pass.

[Stevie Reid]

Anything said by Andy Townsend.

[21.05.2016]

"end to end stuff"

"game of two halves"

[Haymaker]

"It hit the back of the net."

If you think about it... It hit the front of the net. The back would be behind, facing the fans.

[Greentinted]

Anything said by Andy Townsend.

Yes, the very man I was thinking about earlier in the thread - He's just about a summariser! :greengrin

[Stevie Reid]

Yes, the very man I was thinking about earlier in the thread - He's just about a summariser! :greengrin

:greengrin

[Stevie Reid]

I can't be arsed when they come out with "one thing's for sure, no one will want a replay, no one wants an extra game at this stage of the season" when the bigger teams are involved in cup ties in the latter part of the season.

Funnily enough, if you win the tie you have to play an extra game as well.

[Broken Gnome]

BBC Scotland seems entirely comprised of idiots, the newer guard like Sutherland and McLeod as opposed to the older ones, who have never been presenters or commentators. Yet one day the bosses realised Dougie Donnelly wasn't really up for it anymore so they had to beg the whole team of sub-editors to cram on 'Match commentary for diddies' and get behind a mic pronto.

Unlistenable OTT idiots. Hibs should forfeit the cup until someone decent comes along to soundtrack it.

[hibeesjoe]

Some great replies. I'm going to watch the highlights tonight and hopefully a few more cheesy cliches will appear

[Joe's ice cream]

Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

[ancient hibee]

Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

Yes heard marginally offside today.

He went down easily.

[Matty_Jack04]

"He's asking questions of the United defence"
WTF? Is it a game o fitba' or University Challenge?

And the new nonsense cliche - "He just about did enough." Well in that case he didn't. Cretins.

Worst thing about football IMO and it's suddenly everywhere! Massive pet peeve of mine 'and the goalkeeper just about done enough there' so it's a goal then is it? Oh no he actually did do enough!

[Haymaker]

Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

YES! :agree:

[Broken Gnome]

Parity being restored.

No one in football apartfrom a commentator would ever say that.

[jacomo]

Gets on my wick when they put adverbs in front of the word 'decent' - "Very decent", "quite decent" etc. Waiting for the day when someone utters, "it doesn't get much more decent than that".

Football pundits abuse the word 'literally' in terrible fashion also. After the Man Utd game on Monday, Roy Keane was defending Van Gaal and said "he's literally been in the door two minutes". Ok then.

I could go on, so many of them spout utter *****.

Jamie Redknapp: 'The ball was literally served on a plate for Rooney there.'

Surely that's a foul? :dunno:

[Sammy7nil]

Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

[woodythehibee]

Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

That always annoys me too. Similarly with "your Man Utd's, Liverpool's and Chelsea's"

[Corstorphine Hibby]

Davie 'he's never getting there ' Provan.
D#ck.

[Mibbes Aye]

This season's cliche for the punditocracy is definitely when someone commits a foul and the co-commentator/analyst (and I use those terms loosely) says:

"He's given the referee a decision to make, he didn't need to do that, blah blah blah......."

I blame the Neviller as he's the first I heard saying it but it's spread like a rather nasty virus.

[Peevemor]

Two things that get me are, firstly when commentators tell is us as fans that we would prefer to see 11 against 11 and not see people sent off - maybe it's just me but if someone is sent off playing against us I'm pretty happy.
Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

Sorry, I disagree on both points.

Often a team reduced to 10 men will abandon any thoughts of attacking, thus killing the match as a spectacle.

As for the second point, of course there's a difference between being 'just' or 'well' offside. If don't see anything wrong with saying so.

[Mentalbarnett]

Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

This video sums this statement up perfectly.https://youtu.be/entup0bSYjw

[Stevie Reid]

Jamie Redknapp: 'The ball was literally served on a plate for Rooney there.'

Surely that's a foul? :dunno:

:greengrin

I think it's permitted as long as it's 'one from the top drawer'.

[portycabbage]

"He's installed a belief in the players"

No he hasn't. You install kitchens and computer software; beliefs, attitudes etc are instilled. You don't hear people saying they've just had a new boiler instilled. Strange thing to get annoyed about, but there you go!

[Joe's ice cream]

Sorry, I disagree on both points.

Often a team reduced to 10 men will abandon any thoughts of attacking, thus killing the match as a spectacle.

As for the second point, of course there's a difference between being 'just' or 'well' offside. If don't see anything wrong with saying so.

Well, err ok then- wow that's me told!!

[Alex Trager]

There was a section dedicated to stuff like this yesterday on off the bawl.

Things like.

Fizzed off the bar.

Stonewall penalty.

I can't remember any the rest. Just things that are only ever used to describe actions in football


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Thecat23]

The host of sportscene is always going on about 'juicy bits of action to get our teeth stuck into' and stuff like that. Urgh.

😄 So true and also bugs the life out me!!!

[Kojock]

"It hit the back of the net."

If you think about it... It hit the front of the net. The back would be behind, facing the fans.

I mentioned this to Hibs before and they now put the nets up inside out. Another first for the Hibees.

[mca]

Sorry, I disagree on both points.

Often a team reduced to 10 men will abandon any thoughts of attacking, thus killing the match as a spectacle.

As for the second point, of course there's a difference between being 'just' or 'well' offside. If don't see anything wrong with saying so.


Well, err ok then- wow that's me told!!


I Must agree.. My auld father hated sending offs - Always reckoned it made the team with 10 men Harder to Beat.. :wink:

[ballengeich]

Secondly when they say that someone is 'just' or a little offside and apply the linesman has made a contentious decision - no, you are either on of offside end of.

I don't mind that one as it distinguishes a close offside decision from one which is very obvious.


Top, top player
The Brown's the Griffiths's (add any name) there is only one FFS

What about the Nevilles, the Boatengs and even:greengrin the Gorams.

[Mixu62]

Don't know if it still happens, but I used to hate when they referred to "the rangers fans in full voice" etc. Did they ever stop to listen to what they were singing?! Usually nothing to do with football.

[iwasthere1972]

That always annoys me too. Similarly with "your Man Utd's, Liverpool's and Chelsea's"

That and he gave 110 per cent. Oh no he didn't.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

Parking the bus. And my current fave, "hospital pass". Guess a hospital pass has to get to you within four hours or that breaks a rule.

[Haymaker]

I mentioned this to Hibs before and they now put the nets up inside out. Another first for the Hibees.


As long as we were first! :greengrin

[big gogs]

The goalkeeper saved a certain goal,if the keeper saves it it's not a certain goal.another irritating statement ,that was a perfect ball into the penalty box ,it's a pity no one was there to take advantage.how the hell was it a perfect ball.anything by davie proven.

[Danderhall Hibs]

Parking the bus. And my current fave, "hospital pass". Guess a hospital pass has to get to you within four hours or that breaks a rule.

What's wrong with hospital pass?

Has anyone said "he's done everything right there" when someone does something good and missed the target?

[Godsahibby]

Gets on my wick when they put adverbs in front of the word 'decent' - "Very decent", "quite decent" etc. Waiting for the day when someone utters, "it doesn't get much more decent than that".

I could go on, so many of them spout utter *****.

The decent one gets me considering it actually means adequate.

[Keith_M]

I think we should send in suggestions of things we would like to hear them say, instead of the tired old cliches.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if some commentator said in reference to a winger's fantastic turn of speed....


"He shot up the side of the park like a whippet with a bum full of dynamite"




:greengrin

[ArmadaleHibs]

My bi polar kicks in when I here so called pundits refer to players as "the boy" or "the lad".

[Wakeyhibee]

I know this was Big Ron down here, but "setting his stall out" and "opening his account" used to get on my threpennies. Also "there was contact, so he had a right to go down". Would you do that in a supermarket or anywhere else?

[Stonewall]

A team getting on the "front foot" is another overused cliche.

[Scouse Hibee]

Oh dear there are some right miserable sods on here. Cliches are used everywhere, you know exactly the point the commentators are trying to make so why they wind so many people up is totally beyond me. I tend to pay more attention to the actual football being played but it seems that is no more than a sideshow to the commentator for many of you!

[lyonhibs]

It's worth noting that the usage of any of the following doesn't actually detract from my enjoyment of watching a game, but they do make me smile.

As mentioned before:

"He's hit that too well" when used to describe a shot the keeper has saved. A perfectly hit shot would also be an unsaveable shot, so that doesn't make any sense.

"The form book goes out the window on Derby Day" - whichever Derby we're talking about here, if you look at results historically, the form book almost always stays very much in use, not out the window, on Derby Day.

"The lads have given 110% out there" - not physically possible.

Anything Jamie Redknapp or Andy Townsend ever utter.

[crewetollhibee]

The defenders went for the same ball. How many balls were on the pitch ? Also, he managed to get a head to that.
Phannys.

[dangermouse]

I think we should send in suggestions of things we would like to hear them say, instead of the tired old cliches.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if some commentator said in reference to a winger's fantastic turn of speed....


"He shot up the side of the park like a whippet with a bum full of dynamite"




:greengrin

I put the radio on when I got back to the car (after getting off FIH bus) and the rugby was on. The cometary made me laugh as some of the descriptions were not too far from yours.

There used to be an excellent commentator on the radio called David Begg. No idea what happened to him but he made a game come alive if you were listening.

[PPZPOL]

Jamie Redknapp: 'The ball was literally served on a plate for Rooney there.'

Surely that's a foul? :dunno:

:greengrin:greengrin:

Wilfred Zaha said at weekend after his goal that the post literally snapped him in two......

Made him harder to mark afterwards I suppose, defender didn't know whether to mark the legs or the torso and head:confused:

[Greentinted]

Then there's the occasions when a striker hits it "straight down the keepers' throat".
That must be awfy sore.

[Prof. Shaggy]

There used to be an excellent commentator on the radio called David Begg. No idea what happened to him but he made a game come alive if you were listening.

I think David Begg had to retire following diagnosis of a neurological condition.

I also think he's the commentator on the brilliant collage someone on here put together made up of coverage of a certain hat-trick scored at Ibrox a few years ago. I still love that.

[SaulGoodman]

Anybody see Redknapps punditry at the weekend?

"You can see here Joe Hart has 4 fingers showing, this means he wants 4 defenders in the wall"

:hilarious

[Hillsidehibby]

When a team gets an early goal and they say"thats just the start they wanted"

Obviously!!

[Iggy Pope]

Listened too a bit of the final today on the radio. When the commentator said McNamara was "earning his corn" I was in stitches. Scottish pundits seem to have the most cringey patter going. Thought it would be a bit of fun if we got a list going. A few of my favourites are

He's got that in his locker

He brings that too the table

Top drawer

Feel free to add.

Which racist ******* uttered this 'earning his corn' stuff? Just as well Jackie's not black or my foot would've been through the TV if I'd heard it.

[hibeesjoe]

Which racist ******* uttered this 'earning his corn' stuff? Just as well Jackie's not black or my foot would've been through the TV if I'd heard it.

I thought it was maybe the bloke that presents sportscene but could be wrong.

[Iggy Pope]

I thought it was maybe the bloke that presents sportscene but could be wrong.

Well at least that's saved my telly a kicking.

[Scouse Hibee]

Which racist ******* uttered this 'earning his corn' stuff? Just as well Jackie's not black or my foot would've been through the TV if I'd heard it.

Are you being serious?

[Brunswickbill]

The one I really hate is when a player screws up and the commentator says "he's lost his composure." Naw! He screwed up.

[Pretty Boy]

Parking the bus. And my current fave, "hospital pass". Guess a hospital pass has to get to you within four hours or that breaks a rule.

Is hospital pass that recent a phrase?

I can remember getting booked in a cup final for screaming at my own defender for giving me a '****ing hospital ball' about 12 years ago. I'm sure I'd heard it watching my Dad play about 10 years before that.

[Pretty Boy]

Which racist ******* uttered this 'earning his corn' stuff? Just as well Jackie's not black or my foot would've been through the TV if I'd heard it.

Is that a racist phrase? I had no idea and google doesn't seem to throw anything up either.

What's the origin?

[Baader]

Definitely using a plural as a singular - "when they get the Rooneys and Van Persies back..."

Eh? Have they cloned these guys?

[Pretty Boy]

'That's in the 6 yard box so the keeper has to be coming for it'.

It's why I quite miss Peter Schmeichel as a pundit as he was great for tearing that argument apart.

[green.and.white]

For the majority of regular football watchers, commentators and summarisers really aren't needed. I don't need someone to tell me that it is Henderson passing to Coutinho, and that it is Raheem Sterling who scored the goal. I know who these guys are, and what is going on. It must be a very difficult job to do without stating the obvious and to make it interesting and fresh. Almost every phrase or sentence is a cliche now until they come up with new ones, and they'll become cliches, and the cycle continues.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

The keeper has "done excellent there". Just heard it on the tele.

[snooky]

Words that grate my ears:-

He was unlucky there .... (i.e. shecht)
All credit to Acme United ....
We'll give them respect but not too much respect ....
All sorts of problems ....
Play it wide ....
Asking questions of the defence ....
The old onion bag ....
It's the Scottish Cup final today between Aberdeen and Dundee Utd but first, some important news about Lee McCullough's injury.

Also, referring to players as 'ex-Rangers player' (the likes of Ian Murray) or 'ex-Celtic player' (the likes of Derek Riordan)

[jingler1954]

Listened too a bit of the final today on the radio. When the commentator said McNamara was "earning his corn" I was in stitches. Scottish pundits seem to have the most cringey patter going. Thought it would be a bit of fun if we got a list going. A few of my favourites are

He's got that in his locker

He brings that too the table

Top drawer

Feel free to add.
Sit-u-a-shun.

[Iggy Pope]

Is that a racist phrase? I had no idea and google doesn't seem to throw anything up either.

What's the origin?

No idea Boy. No idea. Sounds like one though. Earning corn? What explanation did Google throw up?

[Iggy Pope]

Words that grate my ears:-

He was unlucky there .... (i.e. shecht)
All credit to Acme United ....
We'll give them respect but not too much respect ....
All sorts of problems ....
Play it wide ....
Asking questions of the defence ....
The old onion bag ....
It's the Scottish Cup final today between Aberdeen and Dundee Utd but first, some important news about Lee McCullough's injury.

Also, referring to players as 'ex-Rangers player' (the likes of Ian Murray) or 'ex-Celtic player' (the likes of Derek Riordan)

Agree with most of that but the traditionalist in me loves the old Onion Bag. Fairly rattled it in there, didn't he?

[Pretty Boy]

No idea Boy. No idea. Sounds like one though. Earning corn? What explanation did Google throw up?

Not a lot really.

A dictionary definition of 'put in a lot of work to show that one deserves ones wages' and that was about it.

I always thought it had something to do with cart or plough horses or something along those lines but doesn'tt seem to be the case.

[Iggy Pope]

Not a lot really.

A dictionary definition of 'put in a lot of work to show that one deserves ones wages' and that was about it.

I always thought it had something to do with cart or plough horses or something along those lines but doesn'tt seem to be the case.

My post was tongue in cheek mind, I've never booted the telly, but as we are here, if the wages amounted to corn then I guess there might be something lying under that.
Doubt I'd offer the phrase to Floyd Mayweather close up.

[Sir David Gray]

I always love hearing pundits describe stadium x as "a difficult place to go and win" when you then check the recent results and find out that the team who plays at stadium x has only won one home match in three months.

[Swedish hibee]

Never mind the commentary- at the end it was like a bloody creche with all the players kids on the pitch.

Am I just a grumpy young barsteward?

[ancient hibee]

I think we should send in suggestions of things we would like to hear them say, instead of the tired old cliches.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if some commentator said in reference to a winger's fantastic turn of speed....


"He shot up the side of the park like a whippet with a bum full of dynamite"




:greengrin

My suggestion for a commentator quote--

"and there's no doubt now the cup is on its way to Easter Road".