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View Full Version : We could get out the Championship the Hearts way



MacGruber
26-05-2014, 06:51 AM
We could follow the Hearts model for getting out the Championship.

Start spending outwith our means - spend big, 10-15 million on players for next year should do it. Get finance loans given we've got a good credit history up to now. Throw money at players to tempt them in, not just spending big on transfers but on inflated wages. Include some players from The Rangers and Hearts (offer double wages to tempt) and also hijack some of their signing targets.

Loans will finance this and we can let the debt pile up. On top of loans there are lots of charities out there to rob, we could start our own charity, take money in for it and use it on the first team. We could also sell some world war memorabilia. Unlike any other organisation that would do this in order to raise funds for war related causes, just use it to fleece folk and keep the cash and chuck it at the first team. Raise a bit more with a share issue offer to anyone that will take it up - doesn't matter if it's our own fans or whoever else just get more cash in but don't issue the shares, save on the cost of paper for printing and bullet admin employees anyway, they are a cash drain.

Once we have our signings in place, save some operating costs by not paying the players every second month. We will get a signing ban but alas will already have our players in place so doesn't really affect anything.

Stop paying council rates. Stop paying taxes. There are other mugs out there who will keep paying. We'll get a bit stress from HMRC, just wait to the 11th hour and offer a deal or pay up - just add it to the debt.

Council rates will be ok. They will be more concerned that nobody finds out they are being shafted. Whilst robbing the council, put some pressure on them to pay for more facilities for us. We are an Edinburgh institution after all.

Start training at Herriot Watt. Save paying for maintenance at East Mains whilst refusing to pay Herriot Watt's rates - they are a soft touch.

If anybody questions the legitimacy of any of this - lie. Deny all accusations.

This spend should see us out the championship. Might also see us win a cup. Utterly deplorable way to do business but we can all celebrate success at least.

Next season, after running up 30 million odd debt. Wait until we are 15 points clear in mid table then get ourselves placed in administarion. Bearing in mind we are liable for footballing debt, take another 30 million loan out the week before admin and settle all football debt with the loan. The loan company can get shafted in the CVA.

Not only do we come out back in the SPFL with a trophy under our arms but a young team and debt free - don't worry about paying off the footballing staff that were on long expensive contracts - sacked without cost in the admin process.

We can add to the young team now we are debt free and although we have been disgusting cheats that the rest of Scottish football should no longer recognise - we will be media darlings because our squad has an average age of 19 and crowds are up. Brave young Hibby lions.

Just remember, no shame. Screw the rest of them.

.......................................

Sent tongue in cheek with apologies. I'm bitter as ******. If I read this rant back I would post '**** off ya p****' to myself so feel free to add your insults. Won't feel worse than I'm feeling now.

21.05.2016
26-05-2014, 06:53 AM
Good idea. I'll get my balaclava and go rob the local charity shops down the road :aok: After all "it's all worth it"

andy1875
26-05-2014, 07:01 AM
I'm sure I've posted this before but I'll say it again. I had a debate with a Hearts ST holder and good friend about 6 monts ago. He put this to me, would you rather have:-

a) Hibs, a sustainable approach but with a brutal team, losing 2 SC finals back to back ( in horrible fashion ) and having the most embarrassing derby record in history.

Or b...

b) Hearts, gungho approach with the cash, win 3 Scottish Cups with that game as one them, dominate your fierce rivals for what, 30 years but end up in admin, go down a league, effectively wipe the debt and come back living within your means.

Our sustainable approach has done us no favours at all. End of story.

I argued with my green tinted glasses on for option A, but now, it's B every day of the week. I'm a football fan. Nowt else.

Interested to see what others now think and if they'd swap places wi Hearts situation right now.

lapsedhibee
26-05-2014, 07:11 AM
Sent tongue in cheek with apologies. I'm bitter as ******. If I read this rant back I would post '**** off ya p****' to myself so feel free to add your insults.

All fair comment imo.

However long it takes us to get back up, the stain on Hearts will last longer. Even if they get up this year, the stain will still be there on their foul shirts. Whether or not the even fouler BBC and MSM see it.

MacGruber
26-05-2014, 07:19 AM
I'm sure I've posted this before but I'll say it again. I had a debate with a Hearts ST holder and good friend about 6 monts ago. He put this to me, would you rather have:-

a) Hibs, a sustainable approach but with a brutal team, losing 2 SC finals back to back ( in horrible fashion ) and having the most embarrassing derby record in history.

Or b...

b) Hearts, gungho approach with the cash, win 3 Scottish Cups with that game as one them, dominate your fierce rivals for what, 30 years but end up in admin, go down a league, effectively wipe the debt and come back living within your means.

Our sustainable approach has done us no favours at all. End of story.

I argued with my green tinted glasses on for option A, but now, it's B every day of the week. I'm a football fan. Nowt else.

Interested to see what others now think and if they'd swap places wi Hearts situation right now.


I know what you mean. Unfortunately our ineptitude has seen us living out a) as much as anything else. In terms of cash, we've spent more than St Johnstone/Inverness/Motherwell - just not spent it as well.

In terms of your sentiment though, I want the success of b) but make no mistake - it's cheating plain and simple. I've had enough of a) right enough but I think we need to find a new option c) where we get some success from making more right decisions/investing wisely.

In sport, you can cheat and it means your chances of winning are much greater. It's whether you can live with it, whether it's in your morals and you'll always know that although you succeeded it was never truly merited solely on your own capabilities. Not 100% your own doing and your own success you've earned for yourself. You'd enjoy the successes of course - it would just mean that bit more if you could have done it for yourself. Plus if you get found out your competitors will know yours was a hollow victory. Lance Armstrong still has the medals but I'm sure his competitors feel different about it all now.

I liken Hearts to a convicted criminal of a heinous crime that has got off after 1 year of a life sentence on a technicality. They are reveling in their freedom and even the glories of their crimes - but I know who they are and what they did. They have now ceased to be my rivals in my own mind. I do not recognise them going forward in this light and winning/losing to them will feel on a par to losing with anyone else in Scottish football - just a personal feeling. This would only ever change if they issued a whole hearted apology for their years of cheating and paid back every penny that they were due - clearly neither will ever happen. Hearts are dead to me.


For what it's worth though my good man I totally understand your viewpoint.