The other half.....

[lyonhibs]

Inspired by the "Pet peeves" thread, I thought it might be a fertile breeding ground for a thread where we can share the wonders/"peculiarities" about our dearly beloved girlfriends/wives (and boyfriends/husbands I daresay) that drive you mental.

Just little, daily things. Not looking for any mental breakdowns here!

1) How because I did the washing up and made breakfast for us both (every morning) before my burd is even conscious this effort is seemingly forgotten when I want to spend an evening/Saturday on my arse doing heehaw even though - in theory - I could be doing something domestic. Leads to the classic "you never do anything around the house" line

2) Whenever we have an argument - which we rarely do because I usually can't be arsed - because I haven't been chronicling my life's activities like some OCD nutter and therefore don't have a military precision time + date in response to the question "When, give me an example", this seemingly makes my POV invalid

3) Her slightly inaccurate interpretation of how big her half of the bed is vs mine.

4) When I do cook dinner - about 2/3 nights a week - and try something vaguely new, the dear girl cannot resist putting her neb in every 2 minutes with loaded questions like "ooh that looks interesting, what is it" and "ok, what are you planning to do now..."

I should add that clearly I love the missus, but, you know, no-one is perfect.

:greengrin

[Mon Dieu4]

Clothes horses!!!

I didn't know there was a set way to hang things on it

"wtf are you doing?"

"hanging up the washing, i thought you would be pleased"

"are you ****ing alright in the head, everyone knows that you start at the bottom and work your way up"

"ffs didn't know there was a set way to do it, im about 2 foot taller than you so its easier for me to start at the top and work my way down, as long as it gets hung up who cares what order its done it"

"you really are an ******** with no clue eh?, everyone knows you start at the bottom"

[Hibbyradge]

Clothes horses!!!

I didn't know there was a set way to hang things on it

"wtf are you doing?"

"hanging up the washing, i thought you would be pleased"

"are you ****ing alright in the head, everyone knows that you start at the bottom and work your way up"

"ffs didn't know there was a set way to do it, im about 2 foot taller than you so its easier for me to start at the top and work my way down, as long as it gets hung up who cares what order its done it"

"you really are an ******** with no clue eh?, everyone knows you start at the bottom"

I don't.

[Mon Dieu4]

I don't.

Must be a strange female thing, like when you take a top off, men grab their collar from behind their head, women do that crazy crossed arm magic thing with the bottom part

[McSwanky]

Inspired by the "Pet peeves" thread, I thought it might be a fertile breeding ground for a thread where we can share the wonders/"peculiarities" about our dearly beloved girlfriends/wives (and boyfriends/husbands I daresay) that drive you mental.

Just little, daily things. Not looking for any mental breakdowns here!

1) How because I did the washing up and made breakfast for us both (every morning) before my burd is even conscious this effort is seemingly forgotten when I want to spend an evening/Saturday on my arse doing heehaw even though - in theory - I could be doing something domestic. Leads to the classic "you never do anything around the house" line

2) Whenever we have an argument - which we rarely do because I usually can't be arsed - because I haven't been chronicling my life's activities like some OCD nutter and therefore don't have a military precision time + date in response to the question "When, give me an example", this seemingly makes my POV invalid

3) Her slightly inaccurate interpretation of how big her half of the bed is vs mine.

4) When I do cook dinner - about 2/3 nights a week - and try something vaguely new, the dear girl cannot resist putting her neb in every 2 minutes with loaded questions like "ooh that looks interesting, what is it" and "ok, what are you planning to do now..."

I should add that clearly I love the missus, but, you know, no-one is perfect.

:greengrin

Meanwhile, her husband/partner goes on a public forum and slags her off. You're right, no-one is perfect. Good luck with facing down your issues head on though!

[McSwanky]

I don't.

I don't get this. Isn't it easier to start at the bottom? Not saying it should be a rule but surely logic dictates that is easier not having to reach through wet washing to hang stuff up?

[DaveF]

Gripes about your other half? Christ, I'll need a new page.....

If I was to pick one, it would her untidiness. Leaves absoutely everything lying around. Keys, glasses, phone (on the odd occasion it leaves her hand), clothes, bags, shoes, and everything else in between. I'm an obsessive compulsive cleaner compared to her :greengrin

I know your reading this Mr S so no grassing me up!

[S.sct]

"You might have phoned I was worried" moaned the heavily pregnant misses on greeting her returni g husband 24 hours after the 2001 cup final has ended.
Husbands reply "jesus you always say you want a bit of peace". Vision and no sound ensues for the next five days ;-)



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[snooky]

Clothes horses!!!

I didn't know there was a set way to hang things on it

"wtf are you doing?"

"hanging up the washing, i thought you would be pleased"

"are you ****ing alright in the head, everyone knows that you start at the bottom and work your way up"

"ffs didn't know there was a set way to do it, im about 2 foot taller than you so its easier for me to start at the top and work my way down, as long as it gets hung up who cares what order its done it"

"you really are an ******** with no clue eh?, everyone knows you start at the bottom"

Reading this thread and the Pet Peeves one, we really have a LOT in common, mate :faf:

[lyonhibs]

Meanwhile, her husband/partner goes on a public forum and slags her off. You're right, no-one is perfect. Good luck with facing down your issues head on though!

Good heavens, these aren't actually REAL issues. Everything is rosy at Casa Lyonhibs, don't worry about that.

Just a bit of light hearted fun. I'm sure some of our female posters will be more than willing to offer their thoughts!!!

[Pretty Boy]

Why is it on my day off when make a cup of tea or coffee i can use 1 cup all day and just rinse it out before making a fresh one, whilst when she has a day off i come home to about 6 cups, 3 plates and a bowl and i'm told she was 'just about' to clear it up?

You have had 9 hours to clear it up and just use 1 ****ing cup.

[McSwanky]

Good heavens, these aren't actually REAL issues. Everything is rosy at Casa Lyonhibs, don't worry about that.

Just a bit of light hearted fun. I'm sure some of our female posters will be more than willing to offer their thoughts!!!

Eh? I didn't say anything about males/females. What's that got to do with it?

[Jack]

I had a German fiance once upon a time at a time of life when fun was the order of the day.

We didn't argue often but when we did and we were both crap at it I always finished it by saying I was done, she started it, I'm finishing it now. No more.

I didn't start it you did.

No I didn't you did. You invaded Poland.

At this point we knew any Führer argument was futile and made up ;-)

Now this was okay until one of my visits to Germany. There we were in a big group of her friends in a pub. They were all speaking English as the only German I knew was how to buy a round!

Then it was all in German with my fiance taking centre stage and everyone listening intently, including the lady bar owner who loved me!!

The punch line was "You invaded Poland" at which time the company roared with laughter except the bar owner who whapped me across the back of the heid with her tray. Que even more laughter and the love of a bar owner lost.

Lots of great stories around how we used language to get the better of each other :-)

[snooky]

I had a German fiance once upon a time at a time of life when fun was the order of the day.

We didn't argue often but when we did and we were both crap at it I always finished it by saying I was done, she started it, I'm finishing it now. No more.

I didn't start it you did.

No I didn't you did. You invaded Poland.

At this point we knew any Führer argument was futile and made up ;-)

Now this was okay until one of my visits to Germany. There we were in a big group of her friends in a pub. They were all speaking English as the only German I knew was how to buy a round!

Then it was all in German with my fiance taking centre stage and everyone listening intently, including the lady bar owner who loved me!!

The punch line was "You invaded Poland" at which time the company roared with laughter except the bar owner who whapped me across the back of the heid with her tray. Que even more laughter and the love of a bar owner lost.

Lots of great stories around how we used language to get the better of each other :-)


Psst! Don't mention the War :shhhsh!:

[Jay]

Gripes about your other half? Christ, I'll need a new page.....

If I was to pick one, it would her untidiness. Leaves absoutely everything lying around. Keys, glasses, phone (on the odd occasion it leaves her hand), clothes, bags, shoes, and everything else in between. I'm an obsessive compulsive cleaner compared to her :greengrin

I know your reading this Mr S so no grassing me up!

You've not said anything she wouldn't say herself, at least she's honest :-)


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[Hermit Crab]

Too many to mention lol. All the domestic work I do goes unnoticed then I get told I'm lazy. Yeah that's right all the dishes, hoovering, mopping and dusting done themselves did they...........

She has to sleep with the tv on also. Gets on my tits as I find very difficult to sleep. Still love her though :D

[Nazz]

Must be a strange female thing, like when you take a top off, men grab their collar from behind their head, women do that crazy crossed arm magic thing with the bottom part

That always freaks me out. I don't know how women do that? Do they unhinge their elbows?

[Beefster]

Mrs Beefster drives me mad with how she fills the dishwasher. I've got a system for it (plates that side, pots there, cups here etc etc - I probably have mild OCD, thinking about it) and everything gets properly cleaned first time. Mrs Beefster fills it higgledy-piggledy, without following my system, and there is always stuff that needs to be put in again.

Drives me potty and I reckon she now does it just to drive me potty. That and waking up to find my erse hanging out of bed and freezing because she's commandeered 95% of the bed with her outstretched arms and legs.

To be honest though, if those are my major grumbles, I'm not doing too bad.

[Hermit Crab]

Her and the kids have a tendency to leave all the bloody lights on in the house. It's like Blackpool at times. Just wasting lecy

[Jay]

This is the best thread ever! You guys have given me loads of ideas!

I detest my hubby reloading the dishwasher after I've done it, the place could be falling about his ears, he could be falling over the washing pile but dear god that dishwasher loading better be up to standard!


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[Pretty Boy]

How come if i have a beer or 3 whilst watching the football it's worthy of comment but if she has a couple of bottles of wine in the house with a friend it must not be mentioned.

[NAE NOOKIE]

" Ach ... no bloody fitba again "

[Pete]

I'm not even allowed near the clothes horse. It's not about where I start, I just hang the clothes up "Wrong". They don't dry properly when I do it.

I'll tell her five days in advance that there is an important match I want to watch on the tv. Every day I remind her and she will shrug her shoulders. On the day of the match she will be sitting watching corrie and will make a fuss about turning it over. After an hour of "who is this", "is that Wayne Rooney?", "Why has he fallen over?", "there's absolutely no need to get that excited", "why do they get paid so much?" She will say "this is boring and I'm away up to watch my eastenders, some company you are!"

I leave shoes lying about all the time apparently. I don't, I just want to keep my shoes handy as I'm being asked to take the bin out or go to the car or garage every five bloody minutes.

When she nags at me I say "stop nagging". She replies "I'm not nagging, I'm just asking for a hand around the house and asking for a bit of help". I think every man knows that if they stopped nagging there would be more cooperation.:duck:

[DaveF]

Mrs Beefster drives me mad with how she fills the dishwasher. I've got a system for it (plates that side, pots there, cups here etc etc - I probably have mild OCD, thinking about it) and everything gets properly cleaned first time. Mrs Beefster fills it higgledy-piggledy, without following my system, and there is always stuff that needs to be put in again.

Drives me potty and I reckon she now does it just to drive me potty. That and waking up to find my erse hanging out of bed and freezing because she's commandeered 95% of the bed with her outstretched arms and legs.

To be honest though, if those are my major grumbles, I'm not doing too bad.

I feel your pain. Everything has a place in the dishwasher :agree:

[Jay]

I feel your pain. Everything has a place in the dishwasher :agree:

Yeah but your place doesn't have to be the ONLY place! We have perfectly clean dishes all week when Mr S is away as I point out many many times, usually through gritted teeth :-)


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[greenlex]

Gripes about your other half? Christ, I'll need a new page.....

If I was to pick one, it would her untidiness. Leaves absoutely everything lying around. Keys, glasses, phone (on the odd occasion it leaves her hand), clothes, bags, shoes, and everything else in between. I'm an obsessive compulsive cleaner compared to her :greengrin

I know your reading this Mr S so no grassing me up!
As opposed to neatly placing fitba scarves in cupboards eh Dave?

[Pretty Boy]

'Oh x has a new boyfriend. We're going for a drink with them on Friday. He's really lovely. You'll like him.'

Inevitably followed by 4 hours i'll never get back making awkward small talk with a total bell end

[Hiber-nation]

'Oh x has a new boyfriend. We're going for a drink with them on Friday. He's really lovely. You'll like him.'

Inevitably followed by 4 hours i'll never get back making awkward small talk with a total bell end

Takes me back to the worst 4 hours of my life (well socially) with some arrogant smartarsed jambo to$$er who couldn't decide what he loved the most, his job, his car or himself. "You and Robert didn't really hit it off this time did you?" This time?!?!?!?

[TRC]

mine is when she is hungover (this is fresh in my head cause we were out watching the sweden match last night) I do everything with next to no grumble dishes, house work, feed cats, washing, and a magnitude of other bits and pieces. but if I have the audacity to say I feel **** and can't be arsed when hungover I'm lazy and get grief about her feeling ***** as well.

[RyeSloan]

Some classic laugh out loud stories on this thread!

Got to admit the close horse ones rang soo true. Even though I start at the bottom (socks on the bottom rung) it's still never right! Apparently there is some magic way to get all clothes no matter what size material to dry with no creases "if you just hang them correctly".

Washing is another one. Basket might not be touched for days but as soon as a move is made to put a load on suddenly there is an urgent and critical need to analyse every item that might need washed and to ensure the order of priority is strictly followed!

Recognised the 'was just about to tidy up' one as well....soo you have had 10 hours to do the dishes yet it's ME arriving home 10 mins earlier than normal is the reason that they aren't done....:-)

There is also the law that I dare not move anything of hers no matter how long it's been lying around in the wrong place (there is always a plan that is about to be enacted) yet anything of mine left for a nano second in a location that may not be it's normal home magically moves at the first opportunity!

Then there is my favourite: "I was just going to walk the dog but now your home would you mind if I asked you to do it..." Amazing how many times I get home just as the dog was going to be walked, truly amazing...

[Hiber-nation]

Just a lack of....I dunno...for example - an hour ago I pour myself a glass of wine and say "do you want another one?". "Yes!?!" is the answer, as if it's the stupidest question ever asked. Of course she wants one. How ridiculous of me to even ask!

As we speak 1 hour on she's sitting yawning her head off and the glass sits beside her on the table untouched....

[.Sean.]

Steady birds are more hassle than they're worth at my age, clingy and needy plus Haddington lassies are absolute headcases.

[lyonhibs]

Some classic laugh out loud stories on this thread!

Got to admit the close horse ones rang soo true. Even though I start at the bottom (socks on the bottom rung) it's still never right! Apparently there is some magic way to get all clothes no matter what size material to dry with no creases "if you just hang them correctly".

Washing is another one. Basket might not be touched for days but as soon as a move is made to put a load on suddenly there is an urgent and critical need to analyse every item that might need washed and to ensure the order of priority is strictly followed!

Recognised the 'was just about to tidy up' one as well....soo you have had 10 hours to do the dishes yet it's ME arriving home 10 mins earlier than normal is the reason that they aren't done....:-)

There is also the law that I dare not move anything of hers no matter how long it's been lying around in the wrong place (there is always a plan that is about to be enacted) yet anything of mine left for a nano second in a location that may not be it's normal home magically moves at the first opportunity!

Then there is my favourite: "I was just going to walk the dog but now your home would you mind if I asked you to do it..." Amazing how many times I get home just as the dog was going to be walked, truly amazing...

:agree: We have a chair - or at least I think its a chair - on her side of the bed that is always under a mountain of her clothes - clean, dirty who knows?? An attempt to gently chide her to remedy this situation is met with fierce resistance, whereas I am forever having issues finding my shoes/sports stuff as it has been "relocated" to some seemingly logical place, when they were perfectly fine where they were.

[Hibrandenburg]

Mrs Beefster drives me mad with how she fills the dishwasher. I've got a system for it (plates that side, pots there, cups here etc etc - I probably have mild OCD, thinking about it) and everything gets properly cleaned first time. Mrs Beefster fills it higgledy-piggledy, without following my system, and there is always stuff that needs to be put in again.

Drives me potty and I reckon she now does it just to drive me potty. That and waking up to find my erse hanging out of bed and freezing because she's commandeered 95% of the bed with her outstretched arms and legs.

To be honest though, if those are my major grumbles, I'm not doing too bad.

I'm now slightly concerned that Mrs Hiberlin is a bigamist after reading that. If you now tell me that she snores then I'm calling the cops.

[Jay]

Steady birds are more hassle than they're worth at my age, clingy and needy plus Haddington lassies are absolute headcases.

I keep telling my olders sons the same thing (apart from Haddington lassies as we don't stay there :))

Girls are far more trouble than they're worth :)


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[Holmesdale Hibs]

Hair dryers. Especially when I'm in the room and even more so when it's early in the morning.

[Beefster]

I'm now slightly concerned that Mrs Hiberlin is a bigamist after reading that. If you now tell me that she snores then I'm calling the cops.

Like a truffle pig during an asthma attack. Now I'm worried.....!

[Hibrandenburg]

Like a truffle pig during an asthma attack. Now I'm worried.....!

:greengrin

That made me laugh and is getting stored for use at a later date.

[snooky]

Some classic laugh out loud stories on this thread!

Got to admit the close horse ones rang soo true. Even though I start at the bottom (socks on the bottom rung) it's still never right! Apparently there is some magic way to get all clothes no matter what size material to dry with no creases "if you just hang them correctly".

Washing is another one. Basket might not be touched for days but as soon as a move is made to put a load on suddenly there is an urgent and critical need to analyse every item that might need washed and to ensure the order of priority is strictly followed!

Recognised the 'was just about to tidy up' one as well....soo you have had 10 hours to do the dishes yet it's ME arriving home 10 mins earlier than normal is the reason that they aren't done....:-)

There is also the law that I dare not move anything of hers no matter how long it's been lying around in the wrong place (there is always a plan that is about to be enacted) yet anything of mine left for a nano second in a location that may not be it's normal home magically moves at the first opportunity!

Then there is my favourite: "I was just going to walk the dog but now your home would you mind if I asked you to do it..." Amazing how many times I get home just as the dog was going to be walked, truly amazing...


Take my advice ye all. Get a "Bidey oot" rather than a "Bidey in" - problem(s) solved.
:cb

[derekHFC]

Hair dryers. Especially when I'm in the room and even more so when it's early in the morning.

Or when you're watching something good on TV and its imperative that the hovering needs to be done exactly at that point so you can't hear a thing.

[Onceinawhile]

When you potter about the kitchen for a couple of minutes getting a drink or so, then come back and get 'did you not get me a drink?'

You knew I was in the kitchen, you knew what I was doing. Why not ask???!?!?!

[snooky]

Asking a straight forward question and getting a nonsensical response.
e.g.
Q. What time are we going out tonight?
A. I've got a hair appointment next Thursday.

:crazy:

[Jack]

Or when you're watching something good on TV and its imperative that the hovering needs to be done exactly at that point so you can't hear a thing.

Or there they are reading a book for ages and when the Hibs story comes on the telly or wireless they just remember something they forgot to tell you last week that's no longer relevant.

[Mixu62]

"This was half price so I saved heaps.."