Aussie on trial at ER

[Sanger]

My wife overheard a woman in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll tell her friend that her grandson was over from Australia on a week's trial with Hibs. Any ideas?

[Viva_Palmeiras]

My wife overheard a woman in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll tell her friend that her grandson was over from Australia on a week's trial with Hibs. Any ideas?

A trialist was listed against Berwick....

[weonlywon6-2]

My wife overheard a woman in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll tell her friend that her grandson was over from Australia on a week's trial with Hibs. Any ideas?

Sydney Foster i guess ???

[SteveHFC]

Ryan McGowan :duck:

[oconnors_strip]

A trialist was listed against Berwick....

Wasn't an Australian. Trialist is Lewis Allan. We had to put his name down as trialist on team sheet but he is actually a Hibs player but isn't registered to play in eos team

[El Gubbz]

Sydney Foster i guess ???
With a Scottish called Glasgow Tennents??

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Wasn't an Australian. Trialist is Lewis Allan. We had to put his name down as trialist on team sheet but he is actually a Hibs player but isn't registered to play in eos team

Gotcha thanks N.

[jdships]

Angus McSkippy , perhaps ? :greengrin

[portycabbage]

Angus McSkippy , perhaps ? :greengrin

If he signs, we could loan him to "Flaming Galah" Fairydean.

[jdships]

If he signs, we could loan him to "Flaming Galah" Fairydean.

Struth ! and pay him in " Fosters "

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Struth ! and pay him in " Fosters "

Only worth a Crown - AussieBeerDrinkersKenWhitsGoinOan

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Lord Enda Average ;)

[machibby]

I've heard Rolf Harris is having a trial soon!

[neilmartinrocks]

did he not get a trial before he was sent there?

[basehibby]

I've heard Rolf Harris is having a trial soon!

...aye for Hearts - after hearing that they were only playing with youngsters these days at Tynie.

,,,I'll get ma coat

[Lucius Apuleius]

Only worth a Crown - AussieBeerDrinkersKenWhitsGoinOan

Couldn't give a xxxx what AussieBeerDrinkers think.

[Pretty Boy]

Couldn't give a xxxx what AussieBeerDrinkers think.

No need to be so (Victoria) Bitter.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Couldn't give a xxxx what AussieBeerDrinkers think.

Just Redback the emails and reckon you must be a MadDog - Tooheys do you think you are? ;)

[Lucius Apuleius]

No need to be so (Victoria) Bitter.

It is merely my Swan song


Just Redback the emails and reckon you must be a MadDog - Tooheys do you think you are? ;)

Now you are talking!!!! I liked Tooheys. Other NSW beers, was there not one called Tooths as well?

[Viva_Palmeiras]

It is merely my Swan song



Now you are talking!!!! I liked Tooheys. Other NSW beers, was there not one called Tooths as well?

Donno bout that but Steinlager (NZ) gave me the most evil of hangovers never taken it since...

[KdyHby]

Harry Kewell...

[wearethehibs]

Extra ticket office staff?

[LancsHibs]

Hospitality bar staff?

[Sanger]

Aye you're all laughing now but just wait till he signs and you are wearing yellow Aussie shirts, singing wall sing Matilda while clutching your koala bears. I'll chuckle to myself and think the missies heard in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll!

[hfc rd]

Could be any age group.

[portycabbage]

Aye you're all laughing now but just wait till he signs and you are wearing yellow Aussie shirts, singing wall sing Matilda while clutching your koala bears. I'll chuckle to myself and think the missies heard in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll!
:greengrin

Surely all bonafide rumours would emanate from the perfectly good Greggs outlet at Cameron Toley. Actually none of them are perfectly good, unless you like most of your pastry products somewhere between room temperature and body temperature.

[Northernhibee]

My wife overheard a woman in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll tell her friend that her grandson was over from Australia on a week's trial with Hibs. Any ideas?

Emile Heskey's coming back from Aussie league to see out his career at the mighty Hibees.

[Lucius Apuleius]

Aye you're all laughing now but just wait till he signs and you are wearing yellow Aussie shirts, singing wall sing Matilda while clutching your koala bears. I'll chuckle to myself and think the missies heard in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll!

Oh the joys of predictive text. :-)

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Oh the joys of predictive text. :-)

It's crop

[WellingtonHibby]

:greengrin

Surely all bonafide rumours would emanate from the perfectly good Greggs outlet at Cameron Toley. Actually none of them are perfectly good, unless you like most of your pastry products somewhere between room temperature and body temperature.

Only if its an unappealing shade of beige too..

[Lucius Apuleius]

It's crop

Wheat is?

[Andy74]

Aye you're all laughing now but just wait till he signs and you are wearing yellow Aussie shirts, singing wall sing Matilda while clutching your koala bears. I'll chuckle to myself and think the missies heard in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll!

Koalas aren't bears.

[matty_f]

Koalas aren't bears.

:agree: They're a soft drink commonly mixed with vodka and that.

[portycabbage]

:agree: They're a soft drink commonly mixed with vodka and that.

Coca Koala... sounds like a Barry Manilow song.

[CyberSauzee]

Coca Koala... sounds like a Barry Manilow song.


Oh Quagmire, well you came and you gave without taking.

Giggity

[--------]

Aye you're all laughing now but just wait till he signs and you are wearing yellow Aussie shirts, singing wall sing Matilda while clutching your koala bears. I'll chuckle to myself and think the missies heard in Sainsbury's Cameron Toll!


"Wall sing Matilda"????

It's "Waltzing Matilda", mate! Australian slang for going on the tramp in the outback.

Koala story (just to cheer folks up):



A man goes to his doctor.

"Doctor," he says, "I'm feeling really poorly. What's the matter with me?"


The doctor examines him, looks a bit thoughtful, then says, "I think you should pop down to the hospital for a X-ray."


The man goes down to the hospital. They take blood samples, urine samples, all sorts of samples, do the X-rays. The doctor there looks at the X-rays, reads through the test results, orders a CAT scan. Checks THOSE results, orders more bloods and an MRI scan.


HE looks thoughtful. Then he writes the letter, hands it to the man and says, "Give that to your GP."


The man goes back to his GP and gives him the letter.


The GP reads the letter, looks at the man and says, "We have a problem."


The man says, "What is it? Am I ill? What's wrong with me?"


The GP says, "I'm afraid you have a very rare Australian illness which is invariably agonisingly fatal unless it's treated right away. Unfortunately, there's only one man in the whole world can cure you, and he lives in Queensland, in a small town called Mercy. You'll need to go to see him."


The man just looks at him. "How do I get there?"


The GP says, "Well fly to Melbourne, then fly to Brisbane, then get a taxi and drive to Mercy. It's only a very small township - three or four houses. No problem finding the chap. But I wouldn't hang around - if you don't get the cure you'll be dead in a fortnight."


So the man goes straight to the airport, gets on a plane to Melbourne, then on another plane to Brisbane, then gets a taxi and drives to the township of Mercy.


The doctor was absolutely right about the place - three houses and a billabong.


The man goes up to the first house and knocks on the door.


An old, very scruffy Australian comes to the door.


"Gidday, mate. And what can I do for you?" he asks.


The man explains about his illness. "Do you know where I can find this chap who can cure me?" he asks.


"Aw, you've come to the right place, mate. Just sit yourself down on the porch and I'll go and get the makings. Soon have you right as rain."


The man sits down on the porch while the Aussie disappears into the undergrowth at the back of the house.


A couple of hours later he reappears with a bag in one hand full of roots, leaves, bugs and all sort of foul-smelling gunge. In the other hand he's carrying a dead koala bear - also ponging, like it's been roadkill for about three or four days.


The Aussie goes into the house, puts a big saucepan on the stove, fills it with water and lights the gas.


When the water comes to the boil, the Aussie throws everything, roots, leaves, bugs, gunge and the dead koala into the saucepan and turns down the gas to a simmer.


"This'll sort you out, mate," he says. "My own special recipe - koala bear tea."


He leaves it simmering overnight, and in the morning there's about three and a half pints of nasty, stinking brown liquid in the pan, with all sorts of bits of leaf and bug and fur floating on the top.


The Aussie brings the koala bear tea through to the bedroom where the man's been sleeping, wakes him and says, "There you are, mate. Get that down you."


The man just looks at the pan. "I can't," he says. "It's horrible. It stinks. What did you call it again?"


The Aussie grins. "Koala bear tea, mate. I know it isn't exactly Cordon Blue, but if you don't drink it down you're gonna die in agony."


"But what's all that stuff floating on top?" asks the man. "Couldn't you at least strain it?"


To which the Aussie replied (wait for it) ...










(Wait for it)









(Wait for it)











"Oh no, mate - the koala tea of Mercy is NOT strained."

[--------]

Koalas aren't bears.


YOU might think that, but have you asked the koalas?

Or the bears?


If the koalas want to be bears and the bears don't have a problem with it, what's it got to do with YOU, Andy?

It's an e-koala-pportunity world these days.

:greengrin

[Keith_M]

Koala story (just to cheer folks up):




[waffle, waffle, waffle, and on an on and on....]





"Oh no, mate - the koala tea of Mercy is NOT strained."












I can't believe I sat and read aaaaaaallllllll the way through that.


That's 27 minutes of my life I'll never get back.





:wink:

[--------]

I can't believe I sat and read aaaaaaallllllll the way through that.


That's 27 minutes of my life I'll never get back.





:wink:


But you don't regret one second, though - do you? :greengrin

[Jim Herriot]

"Wall sing Matilda"????

It's "Waltzing Matilda", mate! Australian slang for going on the tramp in the outback.

Koala story (just to cheer folks up):



A man goes to his doctor.

"Doctor," he says, "I'm feeling really poorly. What's the matter with me?"


The doctor examines him, looks a bit thoughtful, then says, "I think you should pop down to the hospital for a X-ray."


The man goes down to the hospital. They take blood samples, urine samples, all sorts of samples, do the X-rays. The doctor there looks at the X-rays, reads through the test results, orders a CAT scan. Checks THOSE results, orders more bloods and an MRI scan.


HE looks thoughtful. Then he writes the letter, hands it to the man and says, "Give that to your GP."


The man goes back to his GP and gives him the letter.


The GP reads the letter, looks at the man and says, "We have a problem."


The man says, "What is it? Am I ill? What's wrong with me?"


The GP says, "I'm afraid you have a very rare Australian illness which is invariably agonisingly fatal unless it's treated right away. Unfortunately, there's only one man in the whole world can cure you, and he lives in Queensland, in a small town called Mercy. You'll need to go to see him."


The man just looks at him. "How do I get there?"


The GP says, "Well fly to Melbourne, then fly to Brisbane, then get a taxi and drive to Mercy. It's only a very small township - three or four houses. No problem finding the chap. But I wouldn't hang around - if you don't get the cure you'll be dead in a fortnight."


So the man goes straight to the airport, gets on a plane to Melbourne, then on another plane to Brisbane, then gets a taxi and drives to the township of Mercy.


The doctor was absolutely right about the place - three houses and a billabong.


The man goes up to the first house and knocks on the door.


An old, very scruffy Australian comes to the door.


"Gidday, mate. And what can I do for you?" he asks.


The man explains about his illness. "Do you know where I can find this chap who can cure me?" he asks.


"Aw, you've come to the right place, mate. Just sit yourself down on the porch and I'll go and get the makings. Soon have you right as rain."


The man sits down on the porch while the Aussie disappears into the undergrowth at the back of the house.


A couple of hours later he reappears with a bag in one hand full of roots, leaves, bugs and all sort of foul-smelling gunge. In the other hand he's carrying a dead koala bear - also ponging, like it's been roadkill for about three or four days.


The Aussie goes into the house, puts a big saucepan on the stove, fills it with water and lights the gas.


When the water comes to the boil, the Aussie throws everything, roots, leaves, bugs, gunge and the dead koala into the saucepan and turns down the gas to a simmer.


"This'll sort you out, mate," he says. "My own special recipe - koala bear tea."


He leaves it simmering overnight, and in the morning there's about three and a half pints of nasty, stinking brown liquid in the pan, with all sorts of bits of leaf and bug and fur floating on the top.


The Aussie brings the koala bear tea through to the bedroom where the man's been sleeping, wakes him and says, "There you are, mate. Get that down you."


The man just looks at the pan. "I can't," he says. "It's horrible. It stinks. What did you call it again?"


The Aussie grins. "Koala bear tea, mate. I know it isn't exactly Cordon Blue, but if you don't drink it down you're gonna die in agony."


"But what's all that stuff floating on top?" asks the man. "Couldn't you at least strain it?"


To which the Aussie replied (wait for it) ...










(Wait for it)









(Wait for it)











"Oh no, mate - the koala tea of Mercy is NOT strained."














But still a pun I do detest,
'Tis such a paltry, humbug jest;
They who've least wit can make them best.

_ _ william combe

:)