Golf Joke

[Hibbyradge]

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

[Pretty Boy]

A man walks down the street and spots a homeless man who looks very down on his luck, grubby and unhappy. The homeless man approaches him

'Can you spare any change sir?'

'No chance you'll be straight off buying alcohol'

'Haven't touched a drop in 5 years'

'Cigarettes then!'

'Gave up years ago'

'Tell me, do you play golf?'

'No sir'

'Then you must come back to my home straight away for dinner and to meet my wife'

'Very generous, whatever changed your mind?'

'Nothing changed my mind I just want my wife to see what happens to someone who gives up drinking, smoking and golf.'