Little things you do for amusement....

[Dinkydoo]

The "things people do or say to annoy you" thread has inspried me to create this topic. Post here, those little (probably childish and silly) things you do in life, purely for your own amusement.

I'll start us off, when resetting someones password at work I will occassionally give them a temporary password of: pass6word2 or pass7word0

Silly, I know. :greengrin

[Pretty Boy]

I have a boss at work who is an unpleasant, horrible little man. He's a contrary bully and a snob who believes he's above everyone. He's also severely lacking in social skills and a 20 second conversation with him is excruciatingly awkward and seems like a lifetime.

So I've taken to being sickeningly nice to him. 'Good Morning Mr......, how are you today?' 'Lovely weather', 'great idea, absolutely inspired' etc etc. He's obviously aware I'm taking the piss but I do it in such a way its not blindingly obvious. Watching him get worked up but then realise he can't say anything without looking petty is great fun.

[easty]

Yawn rapes. I cant help myself. :cb

[Scouse Hibee]

Making a point of looking for a seat on the Airport 100 bus every night that is occupied by someones bag and then asking them to move it so I can sit down :greengrin

[VickMackie]

When people drive up my arse I deliberately slow down to below the speed limit and then when I'm turning off the road I'll start slowing about 30 metres too soon.

Just done it to a lancer Evo about 5 minutes ago but I do it almost every time I'm driving.

[Pete]

The "things people do or say to annoy you" thread has inspried me to create this topic. Post here, those little (probably childish and silly) things you do in life, purely for your own amusement.

I'll start us off, when resetting someones password at work I will occassionally give them a temporary password of: pass6word2 or pass7word0

Silly, I know. :greengrin

My father in law moved house recently and he's a lazy git when it comes to things like looking for the best deals on utilities, insurance etc... and he would just sign up to anything for any price.
My other half insisted that I look up everything he needed online to get the best deals for him, gave me his debit card and told me to sign him up when I found them.

He's a staunch sparrieheed and I took great pleasure in issuing him with passwords for his new accounts. I even changed some of his old ones.

Gas and electric: hibernian

phone: easterroad

insurance: hibees0762

email: keithtimes3

amazon: fsauzee62

There are others but half the fun is that I know he doesn't have a clue how to change them:thumbsup:

[Pete]

When people drive up my arse I deliberately slow down to below the speed limit and then when I'm turning off the road I'll start slowing about 30 metres too soon.

Just done it to a lancer Evo about 5 minutes ago but I do it almost every time I'm driving.

I do that too...and I glare in my mirror at them. I sometimes don't even indicate when I'm turning which makes their blood boil.

Saying that if I'm in my cab in a rush and I come up against someone like you then my blood will be boiling. I'll be thinking "why don't you pull over you dick" and I'll tailgate you. When you slow down or even dare give me the glare, even though deep-down I know I am in the wrong, I will give you appropriate gestures to convey to you the way I am feeling.



C'est la vie:cb

[Hibrandenburg]

I do that too...and I glare in my mirror at them. I sometimes don't even indicate when I'm turning which makes their blood boil.

Saying that if I'm in my cab in a rush and I come up against someone like you then my blood will be boiling. I'll be thinking "why don't you pull over you dick" and I'll tailgate you. When you slow down or even dare give me the glare, even though deep-down I know I am in the wrong, I will give you appropriate gestures to convey to you the way I am feeling.



C'est la vie:cb

Why is it that so called professional drivers are the worst?

[Scouse Hibee]

Keep taxi's boxed into bus lanes when they piss me off thinking they can jump in and out all the time not caring who they cut up when they do it. Particularly private hires who I believe shouldn't be using the bus lanes anyway

[Dinkydoo]

Every time someone at work (within reason, not a 'big boss') sends me an email with the word definitely spelled incorrectly - definately or defenitely - I pronounce it incorrectly when speaking to them until they point out my mispronunciation, then I'll point out the irony in them highlighting my error but continually spelling it wrong.

[Dinkydoo]

Waving at people enthusiastically whilst driving past them to see whether they wave back - a good hangover 'cheer up' on the way back from MacDonalds.

[snooky]

Regurgitating an old pet peeve of mine - the four headlights brigade! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

To clarify-
Headlights are for normal conditions.
Fog lights (only) are for fog or snow.

Both headlights and foglights on at the same time are totally unnecessary (and may be illegal - I'm not sure).
NB : When it's wet other drivers see 8 lights if you count the reflection on the road.

When one of these most annoying pillocks is behind me I instantly put on my rear fog lights (brake lights).
A minor gesture maybe but it's the best I can think of - unless someone has a better idea. :wink:

The amusement part came when one time one of these blind johnnies passed me, tooted his horn and pointed to my brake lights - I just smiled.
:doh: They know not what they do.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Yawn rapes. I cant help myself. :cb

Anything Russell Howard thinks is funny immediately disqualifies it from being so!

[Gatecrasher]

Keep taxi's boxed into bus lanes when they piss me off thinking they can jump in and out all the time not caring who they cut up when they do it. Particularly private hires who I believe shouldn't be using the bus lanes anyway
I thought it was just me :thumbsup:
Its even better when they come up against a stopped bus!

[easty]

Anything Russell Howard thinks is funny immediately disqualifies it from being so!

Damn...ive never been able to watch him for more than 15 seconds, I didn't realise he was a fellow yawn raper. I 100% agree with you and now might have to be an ex rapist.

[hibby19]

My flatmate and I have a great time giving as many frights as we can to our other flatmate. It verges on insane the lengths we have gone to to ensure a suitable level of shock is achieved, great fun.

[Pete]

Why is it that so called professional drivers are the worst?

If you spend twelve hours a day on the road there's no way you are a "bad" driver. Our driving skills are second to none.

Manners, patience and etiquette, however, can sometimes be forgotten depending on the pressures put upon us. There are a lot of idiot cabbies out there but when you have unreasonable drunk guys who are bigger than you in the back and some of them decide they are being ripped off then it's pretty unnerving and can impair your judgement and performance.

...and that's the thin end of the wedge. My post was tongue in cheek but there are so many factors to consider before we are simply labeled as bad drivers.

[Pete]

Keep taxi's boxed into bus lanes when they piss me off thinking they can jump in and out all the time not caring who they cut up when they do it. Particularly private hires who I believe shouldn't be using the bus lanes anyway


Are they really "cutting you up" when they do this? We're allowed to use the bus lanes and sometimes idiots park in them. What are we meant to do when we see a car parked 200m ahead? Merge the minute we see it? We have the same rights as buses so why don't mention the fact that a bus will simply drive up to the parked car and barge in?

We drive in the bus lanes behind buses and most of the time they just stop without indicating to let people on and off. It's not realistic to simply wait behind the bus until it's finished it's business. People pay for taxis for a reason. We're dynamic and can alter our route and direction, unlike a bus. I get where you're coming from as I've seen dozens of taxis expect to be let in instantly but why not let one in and tell the rest to wait? It's better to be reasonable than simply block every one of them.

As for private hires, they're actually breaking the law when using bus lanes and your beliefs are backed up. You have as much right to use that lane in your car as they have so don't ever let any of them give you grief for not letting them in. If they ever do then just note down their plate number and there are ways you can easily report them to the council via email. A rather one-sided decision and harsh punishment will await them. Even harsher if you tell them the driver was also smoking:cb

:greengrin

[hibsbollah]

When i go to Starbucks and they ask for your first name to write on the side of the cup, i give a fake name. I was Sugar Ray the other day.

I always boo when i drive past a traffic warden.

[Speedy]

Waving at people enthusiastically whilst driving past them to see whether they wave back - a good hangover 'cheer up' on the way back from MacDonalds.

Presumably you like posting 'bait' on online forums as well? :greengrin

[Johnny0762]

When people drive up my arse I deliberately slow down to below the speed limit and then when I'm turning off the road I'll start slowing about 30 metres too soon.

Just done it to a lancer Evo about 5 minutes ago but I do it almost every time I'm driving.

I tried this with an impatient pratt a few weeks ago which backfired on me with my work logo and telephone number all over my van. He called and told my boss I was throwing things out the van at him. My boss didn't take it any further at this point as it was completely ridiculous.

[Scouse Hibee]

Are they really "cutting you up" when they do this? We're allowed to use the bus lanes and sometimes idiots park in them. What are we meant to do when we see a car parked 200m ahead? Merge the minute we see it? We have the same rights as buses so why don't mention the fact that a bus will simply drive up to the parked car and barge in?

We drive in the bus lanes behind buses and most of the time they just stop without indicating to let people on and off. It's not realistic to simply wait behind the bus until it's finished it's business. People pay for taxis for a reason. We're dynamic and can alter our route and direction, unlike a bus. I get where you're coming from as I've seen dozens of taxis expect to be let in instantly but why not let one in and tell the rest to wait? It's better to be reasonable than simply block every one of them.

As for private hires, they're actually breaking the law when using bus lanes and your beliefs are backed up. You have as much right to use that lane in your car as they have so don't ever let any of them give you grief for not letting them in. If they ever do then just note down their plate number and there are ways you can easily report them to the council via email. A rather one-sided decision and harsh punishment will await them. Even harsher if you tell them the driver was also smoking:cb

:greengrin

Oh yes! Particularly the clowns who see the obstruction in the bus lane ahead but still pull into to it to undertake half a dozen cars before trying to cut back in where there is no space.:grr:

Your assessment of private hires is very similar to my best mate who happens to be a black cab driver, I wonder why :greengrin

[Peevemor]

Regurgitating an old pet peeve of mine - the four headlights brigade! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

To clarify-
Headlights are for normal conditions.
Fog lights (only) are for fog or snow.

Both headlights and foglights on at the same time are totally unnecessary (and may be illegal - I'm not sure).
NB : When it's wet other drivers see 8 lights if you count the reflection on the road.

When one of these most annoying pillocks is behind me I instantly put on my rear fog lights (brake lights).
A minor gesture maybe but it's the best I can think of - unless someone has a better idea. :wink:

The amusement part came when one time one of these blind johnnies passed me, tooted his horn and pointed to my brake lights - I just smiled.
:doh: They know not what they do.

I also have no time for those who use their fog lights when it's not foggy, however in my car you can't put on the fog lights without the headlights (which surpised me too).

[Johnny0762]

I also have no time for those who use their fog lights when it's not foggy, however in my car you can't put on the fog lights without the headlights (which surpised me too).

Not quite sure what you mean here. I've worked in car sales so have driven quite a few, but never driven a car where you could operate the fog lamps without the headlamps on first? I can't even think of ever passing a car which displayed fog lamps but no headlamps either to be honest.

[Peevemor]

Not quite sure what you mean here. I've worked in car sales so have driven quite a few, but never driven a car where you could operate the fog lamps without the headlamps on first? I can't even think of ever passing a car which displayed fog lamps but no headlamps either to be honest.

There are definitely cars that can (and do) do it.

[Johnny0762]

There are definitely cars that can (and do) do it.

The drivers must be having the fog lamps by passed then, and I also believe it is illegal, so that would suggest that no manufacturers sell cars in that condition. I have been wrong before however lol.

[Peevemor]

The drivers must be having the fog lamps by passed then, and I also believe it is illegal, so that would suggest that no manufacturers sell cars in that condition. I have been wrong before however lol.



If the fog is really dense at night, switch off your headlights but leave on your front fog lamps other drivers will still be able to see you, but you will see more clearly because less light will be reflected back by the water vapour in the air (if the fog is really dense it's best not to drive).


from


http://www.smartdriving.co.uk/Driving/DefensiveDriving/weather/Fog/Fog.htm

[Johnny0762]

from


http://www.smartdriving.co.uk/Driving/DefensiveDriving/weather/Fog/Fog.htm

I get ye mate. Still, anyone have a car in which you can use your fogs with your heads off?

[VickMackie]

There are definitely cars that can (and do) do it.

:agree:

My car used to be able to do it. I never did though.

[Peevemor]

I get ye mate. Still, anyone have a car in which you can use your fogs with your heads off?

I passed 2 on the way home tonight. A new Fiat 500 and a Golf (I think - maybe a polo).

[Dinkydoo]

Presumably you like posting 'bait' on online forums as well? :greengrin

:wink:

[Hibrandenburg]

Are they really "cutting you up" when they do this? We're allowed to use the bus lanes and sometimes idiots park in them. What are we meant to do when we see a car parked 200m ahead? Merge the minute we see it? We have the same rights as buses so why don't mention the fact that a bus will simply drive up to the parked car and barge in?

We drive in the bus lanes behind buses and most of the time they just stop without indicating to let people on and off. It's not realistic to simply wait behind the bus until it's finished it's business. People pay for taxis for a reason. We're dynamic and can alter our route and direction, unlike a bus. I get where you're coming from as I've seen dozens of taxis expect to be let in instantly but why not let one in and tell the rest to wait? It's better to be reasonable than simply block every one of them.

As for private hires, they're actually breaking the law when using bus lanes and your beliefs are backed up. You have as much right to use that lane in your car as they have so don't ever let any of them give you grief for not letting them in. If they ever do then just note down their plate number and there are ways you can easily report them to the council via email. A rather one-sided decision and harsh punishment will await them. Even harsher if you tell them the driver was also smoking:cb

:greengrin

This is actually covered by law in Germany. If one lane is blocked then drivers in that lane have to merge directly before the obstruction and drivers in the other lane have to let one vehicle from the obstructed lane in. They call it the zipper system and it works quite well, unfortunately not everyone knows their highway code here either.

[Gatecrasher]

I have noticed the dangerous practice of driving through red lights on the increase. This seems to happen almost daily in Edinburgh I have noted the Davidson Mains and Maybury junctions in particular

[Haymaker]

When I was bored at my old job, I would say to my co-worker "Dude, I was playing fifa on my xbox last night, way better than on PS3" and then let him explode in PS3 rage for 30minutes while I chuckled to myself.

[Mon Dieu4]

My old favourite used to be dipping a phone receiver in an ink pad then saying to someone "its for you" then watching them say there is no one there and walking away with a black ear

Other work classic was using a drawing pin to put a hole in the side of a cup then putting it back in the cups at the water dispenser, then all of us patiently waiting to see who the victim would be

[Haymaker]

Other work classic was using a drawing pin to put a hole in the side of a cup with a drawing pin then putting it back in the cups at the water dispenser, then all of us patiently waiting to see who the victim would be

:not worth Stealing that bad boy!

[Scouse Hibee]

My old favourite used to be dipping a phone receiver in an ink pad then saying to someone "its for you" then watching them say there is no one there and walking away with a black ear

Other work classic was using a drawing pin to put a hole in the side of a cup then putting it back in the cups at the water dispenser, then all of us patiently waiting to see who the victim would be


We used to do a similar thing in my old work with the red emergency phone using red lipstick.

[hibsbollah]

My old favourite used to be dipping a phone receiver in an ink pad then saying to someone "its for you" then watching them say there is no one there and walking away with a black ear

Other work classic was using a drawing pin to put a hole in the side of a cup then putting it back in the cups at the water dispenser, then all of us patiently waiting to see who the victim would be

:hilarious

im in a starbucks at the moment and gave my name to the barista as 'Susan'. I cant get enough of it :aok:

[Mon Dieu4]

:hilarious

im in a starbucks at the moment and gave my name to the barista as 'Susan'. I cant get enough of it :aok:

Good to see Im not the only one Haha, i was Escobar the other day

[Hibee87]

:hilarious

im in a starbucks at the moment and gave my name to the barista as 'Susan'. I cant get enough of it :aok:


Good to see Im not the only one Haha, i was Escobar the other day


:hilarious ive just started getting sarbucks opposite the st james's and been doing this since I seen it on Sunday Brunch.

so far ive been francois, hughbert and benjamin - ive been seeing how long a name I can get them to right but each time its been francois, hugh and ben might start some hibs name nect week. merouane and souleymane

[WeAreHibs]

Yup, I've been Jefferson, Geardus and Moses this week alone!

[hibsbollah]

:hilarious ive just started getting sarbucks opposite the st james's and been doing this since I seen it on Sunday Brunch.

so far ive been francois, hughbert and benjamin - ive been seeing how long a name I can get them to right but each time its been francois, hugh and ben might start some hibs name nect week. merouane and souleymane

Sunday brunch? :grr: thieving bassas, thats MY thing.
African names are a good idea :agree: Im going for Djibril next.

[Pete]

My surname (which isn't Douglas) is fairly unusual and has a few different spellings . Whenever I ordered takeaway it was the same old routine of repeating the name a few times and eventually spelling it for them. I got sick of this and tried using simple names and whenever I ordered I always gave a name like "Jones", "Smith" or "James".

One time I ordered a meal for collection using one of these aliases. I got in the car, went to the shops first and then arrived at the takeaway. For the life of me I couldn't remember what name I had used when ordering.

I went in and said "hello, I've ordered a set meal for two....the A". My heart sank when he said "what's the name".

You should have seen his face when I said "look mate, I can't remember. It's just the set meal "A" please". Cue the speaking in foreign tongue and laughing amongst each other as they looked through the bags of food ready for collection. I'm sure they were giving the nescafe shake as I walked out.

No fake names since.:rolleyes:

[Haymaker]

When using a fake name I always use Robert Paulson. Might start going for some funky ones that I have heard from the NFL like D'Brickenshaw and Dont'a.

[Dinkydoo]

The window at the bottom of my stairs sometimes steams up if I've been cooking something in the kitchen without any windows open, I find that I just can't help myself from drawing something rude - which, rather worryingly, frequently ends up as a willie! - before walking away and waiting for someone else in the house to notice it (still live at home being a full time student).

Leaving little messages can be fun if someone else has been cooking like; "There had better be enough left for me." or "Paul Hartley is a hairy f***y".

[Scouse Hibee]

When asked "how do you pronounce that" with regard to my surname which for some reason many people have trouble with, I always reply "Smith". You should see the confused looks.

[Future17]

When using a fake name I always use Robert Paulson. Might start going for some funky ones that I have heard from the NFL like D'Brickenshaw and Dont'a.

We are all Robert Paulson. :-)

[Haymaker]

We are all Robert Paulson. :-)

:agree:

[Dinkydoo]

I still find it amusing to hold a banana like a gun :greengrin

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

I really dinnae get the fake name thing being that funny!

[Wilson]

I really dinnae get the fake name thing being that funny!

Which starbucks do you work at?

Signed Shaquille DeLaglio

[Pretty Boy]

I really dinnae get the fake name thing being that funny!

With you on that one. Don't get it.

If you give a 'normal' name how's that funny? That guy thinks I'm called Mark Smith but I'm actually called John Jones. Hillarious.

And if you give a ridiculous name then the people serving you know youre taking the piss and they think your a cock. I worked in Dominos for a bit when I was at uni and we got a ridiculous number of orders for Mike Hunt. Nobody ever laughed and we generally felt sorry for the people.

[Hibrandenburg]

If my mates leave their mobiles on the table in the pub when they take a leek, I like to inform their wives of the impending divorce via text message. By the time they're back in their seats their phone is already ringing.

[Hiber-nation]

On say a Wednesday evening when this guy was leaving the office he'd say "See you tomorrow" and I'd say "See you Thursday". He'd then say "Eh? Are you off tomorrow?". Tried it with my boss and caught him too.

Well it was funny at the time!

[lyonhibs]

If my mates leave their mobiles on the table in the pub when they take a leek, I like to inform their wives of the impending divorce via text message. By the time they're back in their seats their phone is already ringing.

Is taking garden vegetables to the pisser the norm in Berlin?

That is pure evil though. Genius.

[jabis]

If you spend twelve hours a day on the road there's no way you are a "bad" driver. Our driving skills are second to none.

Manners, patience and etiquette, however, can sometimes be forgotten depending on the pressures put upon us. There are a lot of idiot cabbies out there but when you have unreasonable drunk guys who are bigger than you in the back and some of them decide they are being ripped off then it's pretty unnerving and can impair your judgement and performance.

...and that's the thin end of the wedge. My post was tongue in cheek but there are so many factors to consider before we are simply labeled as bad drivers.

unless you drive like you were on your driving test,you're a knob..........I'm a professional driver,12 hours in a car,and I drive like a suger loaded 4yr old :greengrin