Funniest thing you've ever heard shouted at a football match.

[Scouse Hibee]

There must be loads of stuff we've heard at all levels of football.

I was watching in Gyle park a couple of weeks ago when a goalie fumbled a relatively easy catch into his net, " you'd have caught that if it was a cheeseburger" was the shout to the rather large keeper, followed by "FFS you've got two hands, try and use them".......................the goalie replied "I had no trouble catching your wife last night and she didn't complain when I only used one hand".:faf:

[Mon Dieu4]

My pal shouting "its a mans game, you are allowed to touch each other" he has never lived that one down Haha

[jonny]

Was at a game in the old east and "the referee's a wa***r" chant started. Just after it finished a guy in the front row stood up pointed at the linesman and started loudly chanting "the linesman's got a bonar"

My all time favourite was at the Edinburgh derby where the Hibs fans were singing "so f*****g ugly" at Fulton, he turned round and blew a kiss to the fans (in good nature to be fair) but the ref booked him for gesturing at the crowd. Seconds later the fans sang "booked for being ugly, you've been booked for being ugly..." It was classic.

[micka_weer]

When playing Sunday amateur league a few years back, I was substitue one week when one of our players were fouled badly. "that's an f***ing disgrace!" shouted our manager. To which the New Cumnock manager shouts back from the opposite touchline, "Ah, shut yer face! You Ayr boys are always whining!". Our manager Comes back with, the ever popular, "Suck ma c*ck!". When the reply of, "Suck yer c*ck fat boy? I widnae even winch ye!" came back across it wa all I could do to keep standing up :-)

[InchHibby]

I was watching an Amateur game some years ago when the home side's manager shouted to his goalie, if you don't buck up I'm pulling you off at half time, the goalie replied, no need for that boss, I'll just have a bit of orange like the other lads.

[Sean1875]

"Get Konte on FFS"

[Skanko79]

i remember chanting a song about alan main's wifes vagina with the rest of the hibs support at tannadice some years ago for almost the entire 45 minutes we were behind his goal.

[Tricla]

"...home on a tractor, you're goin home on a tractor...!"

Sung by the old east to the Gretna fans during the 7-0 game a few years back.

[Pollok Hibby]

Derby game mid 70s at ER.

Dad, cousins and very young me in the Dunbar end and Hibs are 3 up, no segregation. They get a corner and Bobby Prentice runs over to take it in front of us and is getting pelters from the Hibbys in the crowd. Jambo near us shouts 'At least your no like that **** Edwards, Bobby, you've no been sent off 7 times'
'If he played for the Hibs mate he wouldnae get sent on 7 times' retorts my Dad! Cue drunken scuffle

[Off the bar]

v Ayr utd at easter road in div one whole stand chanting '****** off back tae butlins, ****** off back tae butlins!' still makes me laugh

[wearethehibs]

A good 1 at Ibrox a few years back. 1 Hun was singing "we are the people" towards us.

Hibee stands up and shouts "naw You are a person". It got a good laugh

[iwasthere1972]

"...home on a tractor, you're goin home on a tractor...!"

Sung by the old east to the Gretna fans during the 7-0 game a few years back.

I know we beat livvy 7-0 a few years ago but can't remember us beating Gretna by that scoreline.

[wearethehibs]

I know we beat livvy 7-0 a few years ago but can't remember us beating Gretna by that scoreline.

Maybe He's thinking of the season we won the league cup? Sure it was 6-0 though. We played them in the 3rd round

[Franck Stanton]

When I sat in the East, heard what I thought was a funny shout most games, Opposing player taking a throw-in and as usual, was stealing a few yards, shout goes up - " Hey ref, it's a throw-in, --- no' a sponsored walk "

[JustSimplyHibs]

It wasn't one person but a chant of

Piere, he takes it up the rear he takes it up the rear.
Piere, he takes it up the rear

and the sight of Chico Charley who was marking him at the time from a throw in, in front of the East laughing his nut off still makes me giggle

[Tricla]

Maybe He's thinking of the season we won the league cup? Sure it was 6-0 though. We played them in the 3rd round

That's the one.

[down-the-slope]

the complete numpties who shout 'Fu****g Booooooooooo' :rolleyes:

[nonshinyfinish]

the complete numpties who shout 'Fu****g Booooooooooo' :rolleyes:

That always cracks me up. :agree:

[seanshow]

"Your effin sh*t Hateley ya long haired baldy bstrd."

A nonsensical yet perfect description of Mark Hateley during his days of hair loss denial.

and "Feed the fifers let them know its xmas time" was hilarious first time i heard that when the pars were at ER a few years back.

[DAVE1875]

the complete numpties who shout 'Fu****g Booooooooooo' :rolleyes:

Well there are times when "booo" simply isn't enough



Funniest one for me so far was at Pittodrie during the last game of the 2008/2009 season ( we lost 2-1 if memory serves me right.) Probably one of Maka's worst games, he kicked the ball against Lee Miller for their first goal then mucked up for the second, all in all his catching through-out was absolute dire. During the second half the ball get's punted into the away stand and a Hibee stands up, catches it with ease and proceeds to shake the ball in Maka's direction shouting "THAT'S HOW YOU F****** CATCH A BALL!!" before throwing it back onto the pitch, at least 4 Hibs players near the stand were pissing themselves aswell

[Northern Hibby]

Scott Nisbit being called a Muirhouse tramp at ER then somebody else shouting there's **** all wrong with Muirhouse, Que 20 yard argument across terraces!

[KanyeWestLower]

Well there are times when "booo" simply isn't enough



Funniest one for me so far was at Pittodrie during the last game of the 2008/2009 season ( we lost 2-1 if memory serves me right.) Probably one of Maka's worst games, he kicked the ball against Lee Miller for their first goal then mucked up for the second, all in all his catching through-out was absolute dire. During the second half the ball get's punted into the away stand and a Hibee stands up, catches it with ease and proceeds to shake the ball in Maka's direction shouting "THAT'S HOW YOU F****** CATCH A BALL!!" before throwing it back onto the pitch, at least 4 Hibs players near the stand were pissing themselves aswell

Overheard someone telling the manager of an amateur team to rub "Bisto" on the ball at half time. The manager asked why and was promptly told that his rather rotund keeper wouldna drop so many balls.

[Deek01]

At a Linlithgow Rose game years ago versus Stoneyburn. Bald striker for Linlithgow rounds the goalie but puts the ball wide of the open goal, cue a shout of "Colin, your hair get in your eyes?". Got a good few laughs from the crowd !

[jgl07]

I recall a match and the crowd were baying for handball.

Someone shouted: "Ref, fingerprint that ball"!

[R'Albin]

Well there are times when "booo" simply isn't enough



Funniest one for me so far was at Pittodrie during the last game of the 2008/2009 season ( we lost 2-1 if memory serves me right.) Probably one of Maka's worst games, he kicked the ball against Lee Miller for their first goal then mucked up for the second, all in all his catching through-out was absolute dire. During the second half the ball get's punted into the away stand and a Hibee stands up, catches it with ease and proceeds to shake the ball in Maka's direction shouting "THAT'S HOW YOU F****** CATCH A BALL!!" before throwing it back onto the pitch, at least 4 Hibs players near the stand were pissing themselves aswell

I mind that, ****ing hilarious :hilarious

[JohnStephens91]

I was playing Sunday League and we had a cup game against a team a division below us, we were winning and a guy on the other team shouted 'come guys, let's get into them, we're better than them they're no even in the same league as us!' cue everyone laughing and the guy shouted again 'technically I was right.'

[Twiglet]

When I sat in the East, heard what I thought was a funny shout most games, Opposing player taking a throw-in and as usual, was stealing a few yards, shout goes up - " Hey ref, it's a throw-in, --- no' a sponsored walk "


:tee hee: Like this one, tempted to steal it. :)

[McIntosh]

We were playing Hearts at Tynie and Roughie was in goal and Sandy Clark had just scored. My mate who was a bit of a wag, shouted: "Roughie you as good in goal as yer wife was in bed last night". It DID lighten another unhappy day there.

[SouthMoroccoStu]

At the Hibs vs St Johnston game (semi final in 07 at tincastle)

A overvealous / drunk st j's fan decided to strip and streak across the pitch.

While running about, and before struggling to get back over the advertising boards - sore one, my friends dad shouted "IT'S LIKE A WILLIE, ONLY SMALLER...."

Still makes me chuckle

[theonlywayisup]

Home to Celtic around 7 or 8 years ago. We we getting beat 3 or 4 nil and played a poor pass forward.

The Celtic fans all start to sing "You're not very good.........."

Almost immediately, the old East start to sing "You're not very clean, You're not very clean....."

Always find that one amusing.

[BroxburnHibee]

During my Beastie Bus days I can remember up at Pittodrie belting out the 'Sheep s******g' song along with everyone else.

That was until I felt a hand on my shoulder - turned round to an Aberdeen bizzy telling me - and I quote....

"There's nae sheep s******s in here son" - of course everyone who heard that proceeded to sing it at every opportunity while I had to keep my mooth shut.

Still funny though :tee hee:

[brianmc]

A shout from the East during the warm up v's St Mirren. Aimed at Will(?) Haining who was dating page3/ glamour girl Michelle Marsh...."Haw Haining, I've came on yer burds tits" ranks as my favorite :-)

[D7 Bohs]

This takes a bit of explaining, but still crack me up, years later.

We - Bohs - were playing Longford Town one sunny Saturday evening, the weekend after they'd been turfed out of the Uefa Cup (as it then was) at the hands of Carmarthen by 5 goals to one. In goals for Longford then was Stephen 'Digger' O'Brien, a usually capable keeper, but notoriously diminutive of stature for the position. First half, and all the sizable Bohs support are behind the Longford goal.

For a while, we amuse ourselves with a chant of 'are you small or far away?' until someone starts up with '5-1.....' Digger looks around, expecting a ragging for the scoreline during the week, instead, a stroke of synergistic genius, the chant continues with 'you'd like to be 5'1" '....... even the target cracked up.


Then, of course, he saved a penalty.

[Holmesdale Hibs]

Guy in the FF about Alen Ormen...

"FFS, get that **** off the pitch... I dinnae ken how he gets in the ****in team... He must have a pictue of Mowbray ****ging a goat or something"

[YehButNoBut]

Mind reading this one on another forum years ago, thought it was brilliant.

I was at Pittodrie a good few years ago and in early as usual, well there was Angus the bull walking around the touchline with some girls from Walkers crisps or suchlike handing out free packets of crisps I assume.

Angus is waving to the smattering of fans in the stadium as he walks around and the girls are handing out gifts to the kids going down to the front....he's coming to the end of the Dickie Donald stand and looking to turn the corner into what is a very sparse away support, some shouts to him and he nervously waves back while slightly speeding up waving ahead to the dons fans further up....


Then came the loudest voice from behind me in the away support...



HAW ANGUS!



Well not just Angus looked back the whole stadium that was quiet heard this booming voice, most people had looked at the Celtic fans gathered to see who the shouter was........then the voice again boomed, ever louder this time





















































































YER MAWS A COW!

[Big Frank]

"Your effin sh*t Hateley ya long haired baldy bstrd."

A nonsensical yet perfect description of Mark Hateley during his days of hair loss denial.







A shout from the East during the warm up v's St Mirren. Aimed at Will(?) Haining who was dating page3/ glamour girl Michelle Marsh...."Haw Haining, I've came on yer burds tits" ranks as my favorite :-)

:faf::faf::faf:

[cam75]

Old east stand can't mind the game but young kid says daddy daddy look a "hi bee" I look over and a Bee is buzzing over her head funny as!!!

[sbell1875]

I recall getting called "Weegie ****" by a right ****my looking local at a game at Dens about 8 years ago.

Said ****bag proceeded to then do the DX suck it sign from the WWE at which point his false teeth fell out.

As ludicrous as this sounds it did actually happen.

[FranckSuzy]

"There's only 2 Andy Goram's" was :top marks

[Viva_Palmeiras]

When I lived in London I saw Blackburn (Shearer scored and carried the whole team) v West ham as West Ham (only place where you see 3 generations of a family stottin' about with the same haircut.
I was in with hammers mates. These kids were mucking about and generally not watching the game they were no more than 7. One turns to the other and says "your mum's so old she owes Jesus a tenner" I cracked up.

[beensaidbefore]

Funniest moment was when some friendly guy shouted at Michael Mols who was taking a throw in, from about 2 yards away, "Michael Mols, your wife looks like a effing elephant", which as you can imagine was met with quite a few laughs.
Theres no way the poor guy couldn't have heard it, the guy was hanging that far over the barriers he was nearly on the pitch!

[aazza91]

It was during a game at Easter Rd at a game against Livi the year they got relegate and i remember joining in a chorus of "You'll be watching Scotsport First". Found it rather funny myself.
I'm sure that game they also sang back with a funny chant but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

[JohnStephens91]

At Cowdenbeath Pat Fenlon endured a lot of abuse, some of it was pretty disgusting, but one bit was actually quite funny. This old guy just shouted: "Aye Fenlon! You're nice and cheap, just how Rod Petrie likes it!"

[ballengeich]

My all time favourite was at the Edinburgh derby where the Hibs fans were singing "so f*****g ugly" at Fulton, he turned round and blew a kiss to the fans (in good nature to be fair) but the ref booked him for gesturing at the crowd. Seconds later the fans sang "booked for being ugly, you've been booked for being ugly..." It was classic.

That exchange was great. Fulton's gesture got a laugh from us and I felt sorry for him as he didn't deserve to be booked by a humourless ref.

[LeighLoyal]

Some boy in the east when playing Dundee in the mid 90's shouting at Jim Duffy taking a shy, "Duffy, oi... Duffy ya baldy b astard, ave got mare hair on ma f***in ar se!"

[Latapy1911]

My friends dad was watching Scotland a few years back and he turns to his son and says "Who is that ***** player upfront? I've never seen him before.."

"Thats Paul Dickov"

then he shouts "GET THAT DICK OFF!" :greengrin

[monktonharp]

When I lived in London I saw Blackburn (Shearer scored and carried the whole team) v West ham as West Ham (only place where you see 3 generations of a family stottin' about with the same haircut.
I was in with hammers mates. These kids were mucking about and generally not watching the game they were no more than 7. One turns to the other and says "your mum's so old she owes Jesus a tenner" I cracked up.class ! is East Ham the place where kids send cards saying, happy 30th birthday Gran? but the funniest I heard was in the East Stand, when Ally McLeod played for us. Done the biz, more than a few times, but he didnae half run funny.a guy just along fi us shouts "hey, McLeod, yer runnin' aboot as if yuv goat a nail up yer fit". pished masel at the time.

[edinburghhibee]

Best chant heard was live on the telly Aberdeen v rangers and the Huns were singing sheep ****ging *******s at them, the Aberdeen fans piped up with "oh, I'd rather **** a sheep than mrs mols... Oh, I'd rather shah a sheep than mrs mols..." you get the idea still brings a wee grin to my face even now

[StevieT]

As you all know, our match officials are sponsored by Specsaver.

I was at a Forfar match last season when a Forfar fan thought his team were deserving of a free kick which the referee didn't award.

The shout which came next made me laugh out loud.... "haw ref, awa' tae Vision Express"

[jaba1875]

Montrose v Dundee utd at links park a few years ago. Montrose fan shouts to united fans,

"at least we know who our dads are!"

Jamie (new here, first post!)

[Cabbage_Patch]

I will always remember years ago we were playing Hearts at ER and Steve Fulton came up to take a throw in right in front of the old Cowshed. Somebody shouted loud as hell "Fulton you have a face like a burst pumpkin!" creased me up at the time. I know it was loud because i was sitting in the famous five stand at the time

[Craigyno1]

HIbs v Falkirk in the 1st Division, group of us were at the front of the old east, and one of my mates is married to Scott Crabbe's sister. We all know Scott well (he is a top bloke even though a staunch Jambo!). When he is across near the touchline, one of my mates shouts "hey, Crabbo, may mates sh**ging your sister!". He looked round to see us all pishing ourselves laughing.

[aljo7-0]

Years ago when McLeish was playing for Aberdeen. We were playing them in a Cup Semi at Dens Park and I remember my mate, as he approached to take a throw in, calling him a "Red skitter" which made me double up but to be fair made McLeish laugh too.

[Liberal Hibby]

At an AFC Wimbledon game - when they were in the Seagrave Haulage Combined Counties league (about division 9 I think) - versus Chipstead (about the richest village in Surrey) - the chant starts up "In your Chipstead slums..."

[Hibiza]

Guy next to me re - ally benny brazil. going for a header. "Benny , you rose for that like a tin of John West Salmon"

[RoxburghHibs]

Guy next to me re - ally benny brazil. going for a header. "Benny , you rose for that like a tin of John West Salmon"

I once screamed at the top off my voice "Hibs this performance is ******ing diabolical and do you know how hard it is to shout diabolical when you're raging!"

Not overly funny now - but at the time it got a good few laughs and some applause :greengrin

[Teo10]

In the normal abuse I give Samaras for looking like a Transvestite (not sayin they are wrong or anything have no problem with them before someone pipes up) just after another swan dive in next to the east a couple seasons a go for some weird reason I stood up and shouted "Samaras, I heard you've got a va***a"

You had to be there at the time but got a few chuckles seeing as he turned round just after I shouted it... didnt look too amused to be fair!

[Pretty Boy]

After Jim Mclean hit a BBC reporter on TV about 10 years ago we played Dundee Utd a short while later.

A guy behind me for 90 minutes non stop sang ' gies a pagger, gies a pagger, gies a pagger Jim Mclean'.

[Joe's ice cream]

Was with a Spurs supporting mate from London who had come along to a Hibs v St Johnston game in the mid-90's, John Colquhoun was typically taking pelters for being an ex Jambo - my mate was almost totally over the fence giving him absolute dogs abuse for being ex- Millwall

In itself that wasn't funny, but the total look of utter shock on Colquhoun's face that at Easter Road he was taking pelters for having played for Millwall still cracks me up, he almost stopped running at one point and just glared at my mate trying to take it all in.

[RoscoHibby]

Someone I know who posts on here (shall remain nameless, eh Deek!) was never a fan of the much vaunted Matty Jack.

Sure was under blobby, we're struggling at home to I think Dundee, a forlorn Jack trots over to take a throw in, when my mate, stands up (about 8 rows back in the west and its quiet, cos the game is mince!)

"YOU ARE ****IN HOPELESS JACK. CAPTAIN? (he was wearing the armband at the time) CAPTAIN BIRDSEYE COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU!!"

Pretty random but he definitely heard him, was doubled over for the rest of the half!

[Treadstone]

Gordon Rae testimonial late 80s . A story had been in the papers about a session enjoyed by Man Us legendary drinkers . Apparently some of them had brought oot their John Thomas' in the establishment and were showing it to some women whether they wanted to see it or not . Bryan Robson came over to the old east stand to take a throw-in and some guy shouted (why do they always have a boomin' voice) "Hey Robson ! Do ye want to see ma c*ck !"

[Peevemor]

I remember a midweek match (I thing it was the old league format, league cup) and Ralph callachan took an ankle knock with about 20 minutes to go and we'd already used both our subs. The physio strapped up Ralphie's ankle, over his boot and sock, and left him to hobble away to the end of the match. The bandage eventually undid itself and started trailing along the ground, when the guy next to me (at the front of the old North enclosure) shouted

"Hey Callachan, yer runnin' aboot there like the f***in' Andrex puppy"

Even Ralphie laughed.

[jdships]

After a typical Erik Schaedler 'cruncher' a guy in the old east shouts out at the No7 lying flat out on the deck - ' Dinae get up too quick son cause yer knickers are fu o' f.....g mince '
Even the players had a good laugh and Erik himself quoted it at odd times years after .

:flag:

[heretoday]

1964 - I and a friend, both aged ten, were seated in the north stand at Hibs v Aberdeen when a guy in a suit, shirt, tie and raincoat ran past us down the stairs and with both hands on the balcony edge screamed "Stick yer flag up yer erse linesman!"

Never forgotten that. Shirt and tie was normal dress for a match in those days. When did I get so old?

[LewysHibee]

There was a game at easter road a few years ago, i cant remember who it was against (think it was killie). We got 2 penalties in 2 minutes and just after there was a foul in the middle of the park and someone stood up and shouted "PENALTY!!"

:flag:

[Pretty Boy]

Remember being at a cup tie v Stenhousemuir in the early to mid 90s. There was a ballot for tickets and I got a couple. For those who missed out there was a beam back to Murrayfield ice rink.

Hibs were poor in the 1st half and it was 0-0. Up pops a voice behind us with 'oi Miller we'd be better at Murrayfield, at least we could get the ****ing skates skates out'.

[DAVE1875]

Remember my cousin telling me this one:


At a Derby years ago when Tynie's away stand had no roof some birds in the flats behind the stand were singing Hearts songs and slagging off Hibs throughout the first half, half-time comes & (apparently) every Hibs fan in the away stand does a 180° ​turn and starts singing "Gorgie Sl*gs, Gorgie Sl*gs, Gorgie Sl*gs. Gorgie Sl*gs, Gorgie Sl*gs, Gorgie Sl*gs!" Apparently some Hearts fans near the away stand and the birds in the flat cracked up

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Back in the unenlightened times a certain Justin Fashanu played (I use the term loosely) for Hearts.

I heard uttered from an East Terracer (censored for these enlightened times)

"ace of Hearts ?
More like the Queen of &&&&&"

Such an utterance in these enlightened times would resutlt in a ban.

[NAE NOOKIE]

Though it was purely visual somebody in the old East threw a bar of soap onto the pitch in the direction of Mark Hately ... I fell aboot.

[stu in nottingham]

Just post the final whistle in an interview with Brian Clough. Referring to Forest captain, George Lyall who had just missed an important penalty kick.

Interviewer: What happened with the penalty, Brian?

Brian: I asked my captain the same question and he told me he 'hit the post with it boss'. I could have hit him with the post...

[Lurks]

At the cup final in 07. Sometime before we scored someone was holding on to the ball too long. A boy a few seats down down stood up and shouted "Press X to pass for gods sake".

[StevieC]

Not a chant, but the rugby ball that landed on the pitch in the derby, after it was announced they were moving to Murrayfield, was comedy genius and the timing was perfect.

[HibeeUnderwood]

I went to a Southend vs Fulham friendly at Roots Hall 4 years ago. Very small crowd for the game. I was sitting not too far away from the dugouts. Middle of the 2nd half Fulham made a substitution. The stadium announcer spoke as follows:

"Substitution for Fulham, replacing number 33 Steven Davies, is number 17 Lee Cook."

And as soon as Cooks name was mentioned someone just a few rows behind me jumped out of his seat and yelled at the top of his voice:

"YOUR S**T!!!!!!!!"

The whole stand and probably the whole ground then erupted with laughter it was that loud. The sound of his Essex accent also helped make it real comedy gold. And from then on every time Lee Cook touched the ball he got loud pelters from this guy and a couple of others. Instead of booing him myself when he touched the ball I could only chuckle. Mr Cook appeared unfazed by it as most players I've seen do, but I know for a fact that he definitely heard it! :greengrin

[Bristolhibby]

Remember in the old East Basher Lavety was struggling to chase down a through ball.

One lad stood and shouted "FFS I've seen more speed in an Anadin. I bet if the ball was a Big Mac you would have reached it".

Easily my favourite two lines at a football match.

J

[Aubenas]

In the rarified atmosphere of Oxford Utd's Kassam Stadium the hosts were toiling against an even more woeful Kiddiminster. Posh boy behind us can stand it no more; gets to his feet and (almost) shouts: "Look, Oxford, this is totally unacceptable." We were the only ones who laughed, the rest of the crowd nodded in agreement

[lyonhibs]

Aside from the rugby ball incident, at the 1-0 Murphy header victory at Ibrox I was about 3 rows from the front. One of the Ibrox ballboys was even more of an utter ned than the rest of them, was a bit older with a face like the surface of the moon. He had gelled hair and a swagger that had to be seen to be believed.

All game as he'd do his wee swagger past our corner - I'm sure he did it more than he needed to in an attempt to play the hard man - someone would shoult "hoi Jakey........hoi Jakey.......hoi Jakey" then said Jakey would turn his head and the whole front section of our support would just give him pelters, including the class one liner:

"Hoi jakey, who did you rob that swagger off??"

[mca]

Heres a couple - from the mid 1980`s..

The Fans Chanting to Alan Rough - He`s Fat, He`s Round - he bounces on the ground - it`s alan rough...


Does Anyone Remember the on-going 80`s - Scottish-Gas Telly Ad ???

there was one irate supporter in the east that told a player in no uncertain terms that he was ff**** rubbish.. the player actually shouted back - is that right..


the fan replied - aye it ff**** is - and if you see "Sid" Will you tell Him.. classic.. :aok:

[superbam]

"Alex Cleland, I can see your pants" was one of the more questionable shouts I have heard in the east stand

[WeeRussell]

One of my old favourites came from a guy some others may be familiar with (I'm sure he'll still be somewhere in the East stand) -

30 something boy that used to sit in the old terracing close to the half way line, wore a burberry cap, ear-ring and IIRC often topless with Hibs tattoos. Always remember his distinctively rough voice and him always squeezing a large sentence into one breath!

Anyway playing Dundee United at ER one week close to ten years ago now and the Arab fans are singing their "we Love United we do, we Love United we do, We love United WE DO.. oh United we love you" after a few versus of this, your man stands up and shouts across to them..

"Aye well away'n love them in Dundee ya smelly Ba*tards!"



Another one from the same boy was when we were playing Killie at home when 'Wee Fat Boab' was in charge of us... he shouted and asked the away fans if they would "Goan take that fat chinless ***** Williamson away with you"

The guy got a laugh out of the crowd most weeks with his unique shouts :greengrin

[Scott Allan Key]

We were playing some Baltic team in the Intertoto Cup. One of the subs came on, he was badly receding with long straggly hair. As he approached the East stand, someone did a screechy wail immediately recognisable as an impression of the American comedian Bobcat Goldthwaite, famous as the punk from the Police Academy films. There was much laughter from the stands, it was an uncanny likeness.

When I went to see Liverpool play Brondby play in a UEFA cup tie at Anfield, a baby-faced Dane fouled one of the Liverpool players. Someone screamed out from the main stand, 'YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!!' in the Dane's direction, and paused for comedic effect, before bellowing, 'ON JUSTIN FASHANU!!!!'. It's fair to say it raised some laughter in the main stand.

Not PC, but rarely does political correctness raise anything but hackles rather than a smile.

[McHibby]

At the Hibs v Aberdeen semi last season, the ref missed a foul on one of our players. The guy behind me turned to his mate and said, "He's missed that. He's f****ng missed it". Then screamed at the top of his voice,
"Referee! A blind man on the moon would have seen that a week ago". I was poorless.

[SRHibs]

Old east stand can't mind the game but young kid says daddy daddy look a "hi bee" I look over and a Bee is buzzing over her head funny as!!!

Spot the easily amused guy.

[Jones28]

A player lying practically spark out in front of the west stand, que the shout of "dig a hole and bury um!" from the back of the stand, first time id heard that, absolutely hilarious!

[Bostonhibby]

Late 70's / very early 80's match against them at the bus shelter, they were sponsored by a firm called Tractor Shovels and when the sponsors name was announced over the tannoy quick as a flash a voice behind me roared "and you can stick your tractor shovels up your erse" There's a song in there somewhere.................

[CraigHibee]

i can remember "tortolano for italy" being shouted from the east stand, gave everyone a chuckle :greengrin

[Off the bar]

the hibs celtic cup final 2000 there was a big group sat in front of us who had sent someone to get the half time pies for everyone, the fella comes back arms straining under the weight of pies when someone starts up a chant of 'who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies, you fat b astard you fat b astard you ate all the pies' the pie carrying dude laughed as much as everyone else, best memory from an otherwise **** day.

[Nailrod]

At Arteta when he was playing for Rangers:

"OY! ARTETA! You're a f****n LADYBOY! You're more beautiful than most of the BURDS AH'VE ****GED!"

[Alfred E Newman]

Many moons ago , a frustrated voice boomed out over the old terracing , "Ref, stick that f-----n whistle up yer erse." One of my mates quickly shouted back " He cannae get it up for flags , he used tae be a linesman"

[KingFranck]

After a typical Erik Schaedler 'cruncher' a guy in the old east shouts out at the No7 lying flat out on the deck - ' Dinae get up too quick son cause yer knickers are fu o' f.....g mince '
Even the players had a good laugh and Erik himself quoted it at odd times years after .

:flag:
Shades was a legend remember a game v Hearts at ER and me and my mate were right down the front of the old terracing. The players were warming up and the ball came over beside us. I shouts to Shades "are we going to win Shades"
The response was classic "aye tackles above the neck only today wee man"

[VickMackie]

A player lying practically spark out in front of the west stand, que the shout of "dig a hole and bury um!" from the back of the stand, first time id heard that, absolutely hilarious!

The same shout happened when Concalves was out during the semi against them. Right next to the corner flag. Thought it was a bit much at the time but we probably could have done with him getting buried that day!

[Lee]

Heard some good shouts today actually:

"Cillian - yeah you - yer a dirty condom?!"

Also:

"Ref- you're getting it, come over here..."
(Williams proceeds to take a goal kick, punts it and the ref follows play upfield)
"Hey! Ref, dinnae run away?! Sh@tebag, ****ing sh@tebag!"

Unintentional comedy gold!

[Tha Cabbage Kid]

"no Annoni on anaw noo"

**** fans on enrico annoni coming on as a sub

[McHibby]

The same shout happened when Concalves was out during the semi against them. Right next to the corner flag. Thought it was a bit much at the time but we probably could have done with him getting buried that day!

I was just thinking, "why do I have a really strong recollection about that"? Then it hit me... It was my wee brother who shouted it!!!
Not long after that a guy a few rows in front of me started kicking the crap out of his seat. The man sitting behind me took exception and began arguing with him about it. Then they both almost went through me try to get to each other. Not a good day at all.

[MWHIBBIES]

Guy behind me shouting ''cmon Gary'' every time Ross Caldwell got on the ball today was pretty funny.

[ManBearPig]

"no Annoni on anaw noo"

**** fans on enrico annoni coming on as a sub

Beat me to it sir. But has to be said in a weegie jakey accent.

[Craig_HFC]

Vs Dundee Utd a few years ago when Peter Canero played for them...

He came over to take a throw in and someone shouted at the top of his voice: "Peter Canero! Canero!" he looks round and the same guy just screams "I don't like you!"

Just the unexpectedness of the final line made me and a few others crack up.

Canero let out a wee giggle too.

[Speedy]

Guy behind me shouting ''cmon Gary'' every time Ross Caldwell got on the ball today was pretty funny.

FF upper?

[Curly1875]

Last season at st Johnstone away, Richie towell was playing and everytime he touched the ball some guy kept shouting 'Dick Towell!' :tee hee:

[MWHIBBIES]

FF upper?Indeed

[SheriffLobo]

When killie brought on Chris Johnston today a guy behind me shouted "chris, is that short for Christine" nothing else, that was it

Me and my mate just burst out laughing. Loved the randomness

[SpiderHibs]

Scotland were playing Finland at Easter Road in the late 90's. The song went up in the terracing "You only sign when you're whaling, sing when you're whaling." Made me laugh.

[blackpoolhibs]

Yesterday someone behind me who gives us a running commentary of the game for some reason each week said, at last we have a keeper who's good at coming for crosses. :faf:

[The_Horde]

Last season at st Johnstone away, Richie towell was playing and everytime he touched the ball some guy kept shouting 'Dick Towell!' :tee hee:

Along the same lines, a certain unnamed hibs.netter.. (:wink:) away to St Johnstone in CC's reign came out with "too much length on that dick!" after a horrid cross by dicky towell. :greengrin

[Speedy]

Indeed

I heard that as well.

At first I thought he was talking about Deegan but he was about 40 yards away from the ball at the time :greengrin