Finance Director Resigns

[Sergey]

Just picked up on this story. You honestly couldn't make this ***** up!

http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20111007/positive-contribution_2241384_2474968

Quote:


Arnoldas, who is set to take up new challenges, said: "I am delighted to have played my part in helping the club develop over the last two years. I have taken some very productive steps in establishing firm foundations for the club with the introduction of new operational management accounting systems.

and if that wasn't enough....


Hearts director Vitalijus Vasiliauskas said: "Arnoldas has contributed well since joining the club and we wish him well in his future career." Fellow director Sergejus Fedotovas added: "Arnoldas has modernised the running of the finance department and did a great job in improving the financial efficiency of the club."

Outstanding.

[IWasThere2016]

:faf:

[matty_f]

These boys have to be at the wind-up!! That's immense banter from them!

[nonshinyfinish]

Arnoldas has modernised the running of the finance department and did a great job in improving the financial efficiency of the club.

Does that mean he's improved the efficiency with which they're haemorrhaging cash?

[Dashing Bob S]

Words actually do fail me. I know football economics have differed from the real world's significantly for some time, but the line has been crossed from delusion into mental illness. The thing that I find utterly scandalous beyond believe is that CEC have bought that propaganda that Hearts are well-run club. Do they really believe this to be the case? If so, they should be dismissed for lack of competence. If they know this is nonsense, they are exposed as useless bigots who all waste public money on these fools.

[Capt Mainwaring]

Rats, Jumping, ships, sinking and all that!

I'm sure having Finance Director, Heart of Midlothian FC on his CV for his next Job Application will
open many doors for him!!

Still it's another one less wage to worry about paying late.

[Sergey]

These boys have to be at the wind-up!! That's immense banter from them!

It makes you wonder how many other 'ghost staff' and Lith jakeys are pulling a wage out of the club for doing sod-all.

The club has been bled dry and every penny has been squirrelled back to the Land of the Lith.

As Bob said, this is now some sort of delusional illness.

[Billy Whizz]

It makes you wonder how many other 'ghost staff' and Lith jakeys are pulling a wage out of the club for doing sod-all.

The club has been bled dry and every penny has been squirrelled back to the Land of the Lith.

As Bob said, this is now some sort of delusional illness.

I heard today that they are negotiating payoff's with some of the players not playing in the 1st team and out of contract at the end of the season!

[Billy Whizz]

Does that mean he's improved the efficiency with which they're haemorrhaging cash?

He's done a grand job in managing cash-flow

[nonshinyfinish]

I heard today that they are negotiating payoff's with some of the players not playing in the 1st team and out of contract at the end of the season!

I heard today that they're manky maroon pricks. :agree:

[ronaldo7]

We really need to doff our Russian hats to this one.

Totally ramming the 400,000:greengrin

[Capt Mainwaring]

" did a great job improving the financial efficiency of the club"

That's a belter


:faf::faf::faf::faf::faf:

[Greentinted]

"Arnoldas has modernised the running of the finance department"


Upgrading the fax machine to a laptop!!!

[justlikebrazil]

Just picked up on this story. You honestly couldn't make this ***** up!

http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20111007/positive-contribution_2241384_2474968

Quote:



and if that wasn't enough....



Outstanding.
The thing is they can say what they want because the daft jambos just beLIEve!!!:greengrin

[Cabbage East]

:faf:

[...WentToMowAnSPL]

The thing is they can say what they want because the daft jambos just beLIEve!!!:greengrin

Did you get the same advert I did ? Priceless !

7773

[NAE NOOKIE]

You lot are being totally unfair to this guy.

I'm sure it was him who insisted that the new light bulb in the asbestos death trap ( sorry, main stand ) should be an energy saver. Putting the Yams on a firm financial footing for minutes to come.

[lyonhibs]

Hearts Finance Director Arnoldas Nauseda - who??? If I was a Jambo, which - thank ye gods - I'm not, Nausea would be the least of my worries

Hearts director Vitalijus Vasiliauskas - who?? This guy sounds like the 2011 winner of "The Most Lithuanian name ever". What are his credentials??

Therein lies the real, hilarious fiasco of the Jambos. Seriously, can any of our Maroon mates tell me - "did they know who these folk are" "what did they actually DO at the club" "how much time did they even spend in Edinburgh" and finally "what sort of ludicrous wage were they pulling for the priviledge"??

[forthhibby]

seems clear enough to me, if you have no money, you don't need a finance director, cost cutting in action lol

[Bishop Hibee]

Did the Hertz website article writer work for Pravda in the past :confused: :faf:

[Kaiser1962]

seems clear enough to me, if you have no money, you don't need a finance director, cost cutting in action lol


Harsh but fair :cool2:

[Pedantic_Hibee]

I honestly don't know why I spend time trying to pen something amusing when in all honesty, this sheeeite writes itself.

Absolutely bonkers and hilarious in equal measure.

[FranckSuzy]

He is to finance what Harold Shipman was to medicine.

[HibbiesandtheBaddies]

It's understandable that he resigned. There isn't much Finace for him to Direct anymore :greengrin

7774

Remember this image when you're on the bus to hunbrox to watch your new team gorgie beggars.......

[blairwallace]

they employ finance directors? :confused:
sign me up, i'd be just as good as them :aok:

[bighairyfaeleith]

i first read this thread half an hour ago but I am now only able to type as I have been laughing that hard!!:greengrin

[judas]

Nope. That's it. This has to some kind of Jeremy Beadle thing, in which the entire Hearts board and the last few years are climatically revealed by a man wearing a false beard, dressed as a policeman.

[Jack]

The last two years have seen the frequency of non payment of wages increase, the trouble with the HMRC reaching a head a number of times and the net debt increase by something think £20m.

Good job.

I can only assume his modernization extended to the farthings button falling off the cash register.

[Liberal Hibby]

Hearts director Vitalijus Vasiliauskas - who?? This guy sounds like the 2011 winner of "The Most Lithuanian name ever". What are his credentials??



Pedant alert...

It is actually about the least Lithuanian name you can get. Like most of Vlad's mates he is an ethnic Russian - but unlike Vlad he has Lithuanianised his name. It's easy to do - just add 'us' at the end of first names and 'as' or 'auskas' at the end of surnames (and negotiate a relevant consonant if necessary). He is Vitali Vasili. Vlad would be Vladimirus Romanovas.

Our new manager would be Patrickus Fenlonauskas. I'm sure it would be easy (if you knew how) to do some sort of computerised random Lith name generator and provide ourselves with hours (well seconds) of idle amusement.

[ScottB]

Can you imagine how much worse a state they'd be in without this guys efforts :greengrin

[hibsbollah]

Pedant alert...It is actually about the least Lithuanian name you can get. Like most of Vlad's mates he is an ethnic Russian - but unlike Vlad he has Lithuanianised his name. It's easy to do - just add 'us' at the end of first names and 'as' or 'auskas' at the end of surnames (and negotiate a relevant consonant if necessary). He is Vitali Vasili. Vlad would be Vladimirus Romanovas.Our new manager would be Patrickus Fenlonauskas. I'm sure it would be easy (if you knew how) to do some sort of computerised random Lith name generator and provide ourselves with hours (well seconds) of idle amusement.You're right, it is fun. My favourites so far include Amadous Konteauskas and Patass Stantonauskas.

[E10 Rifle]

You just know they are going to bailed out though don't you. So let's laugh in the meantime.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Craig Thomson is to blame for the financial problems at Tynecastle...............
http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/60/6000/A6RQG00Z/posters/mike-twohy-bum-on-street-holds-sign-reading-spent-it-all-on-the-primaries--new-yorker-cartoon.jpg

[Liberal Hibby]

Craig Thomson is to blame for the financial problems at Tynecastle...............


You mean Craigus Thomsonnoncaukas?

[Saorsa]

Just picked up on this story. You honestly couldn't make this ***** up!

http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20111007/positive-contribution_2241384_2474968

Quote:



and if that wasn't enough....


Outstanding.

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p242/carlapryor/laughing5.gifhttp://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p242/carlapryor/laughing5.gifhttp://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p242/carlapryor/laughing5.gif

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing024.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing024.gif http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing024.gif
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k225/alansugar/super_smilies007.gifhttp://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k225/alansugar/super_smilies007.gifhttp://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k225/alansugar/super_smilies007.gif

[Bostonhibby]

Just picked up on this story. You honestly couldn't make this ***** up!

http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20111007/positive-contribution_2241384_2474968

Quote:



and if that wasn't enough....



Outstanding.

Yep, right up there with Ghengis Khan's terrific efforts in reducing the population of eurasia to manageable sizes. He can go with his head held high. Maybe they should stick a memorial or a statue or two up to him?

[Bostonhibby]

Pedant alert...

It is actually about the least Lithuanian name you can get. Like most of Vlad's mates he is an ethnic Russian - but unlike Vlad he has Lithuanianised his name. It's easy to do - just add 'us' at the end of first names and 'as' or 'auskas' at the end of surnames (and negotiate a relevant consonant if necessary). He is Vitali Vasili. Vlad would be Vladimirus Romanovas.

Our new manager would be Patrickus Fenlonauskas. I'm sure it would be easy (if you knew how) to do some sort of computerised random Lith name generator and provide ourselves with hours (well seconds) of idle amusement.

Oh no! so does this mean that the hilarious Biggus Dickus the brave centurion from the Life of Brian could in fact just be a yam who has inserted US on the end of his actual descriptive title?

[alexedwards]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-15882620 :cb

[StevieC]

Did the Hertz website article writer work for Pravda in the past :confused: :faf:

What has expensive designer merchandise got to do with website articles?

:dunno:

[HIBERNIAN-0762]

Just seen this and now wiping corn flakes off my computer screen!

Funniest quote of the year from them?, mind you there have been loads...

:hilarious

[1two]

Can anyone put some quotes from kickback on here?
Just wondering if they're havin a laugh at this or takin it serious.

[BEEJ]

It makes you wonder how many other 'ghost staff' and Lith jakeys are pulling a wage out of the club for doing sod-all.
I think all this hilarity and criticism is seriously misplaced and unfair.

:tsk tsk:

We're forgetting that the FD job description over there includes all the responsibilities as Head of Laundry. That's been a significant part of the job until recently.

A bit of respect, please!

[GordonHFC]

I heard today that they're manky maroon pricks. :agree:

Old news :agree:

[TornadoHibby]

These boys have to be at the wind-up!! That's immense banter from them!

He's just getting out before the "sh*t hits the fan" and the "smoke and mirrors" are removed revealing what goes on within the entity that is HomoFC and his "employers" appear to be giving him a "decent reference" in return for .............well something obvious presumably! :wink: :rolleyes:

Allegedly! :greengrin

[Golden Bear]

Words actually do fail me. I know football economics have differed from the real world's significantly for some time, but the line has been crossed from delusion into mental illness. The thing that I find utterly scandalous beyond believe is that CEC have bought that propaganda that Hearts are well-run club. Do they really believe this to be the case? If so, they should be dismissed for lack of competence. If they know this is nonsense, they are exposed as useless bigots who all waste public money on these fools.

:tee hee:

[fatbloke]

Rats, Jumping, ships, sinking and all that!

I'm sure having Finance Director, Heart of Midlothian FC on his CV for his next Job Application will open many doors for him!!

Still it's another one less wage to worry about paying late.

Aye each one wi a padded cell behind it:faf:

[TornadoHibby]

Just picked up on this story. You honestly couldn't make this ***** up!

http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20111007/positive-contribution_2241384_2474968

Quote:


Arnoldas, who is set to take up new challenges, said: "I am delighted to have played my part in helping the club develop over the last two years. I have taken some very productive steps in establishing firm foundations for the club with the introduction of new operational management accounting systems.

and if that wasn't enough....

Quote:


Hearts director Vitalijus Vasiliauskas said: "Arnoldas has contributed well since joining the club and we wish him well in his future career." Fellow director Sergejus Fedotovas added: "Arnoldas has modernised the running of the finance department and did a great job in improving the financial efficiency of the club."


Outstanding.




Words actually do fail me. I know football economics have differed from the real world's significantly for some time, but the line has been crossed from delusion into mental illness. The thing that I find utterly scandalous beyond believe is that CEC have bought that propaganda that Hearts are well-run club. Do they really believe this to be the case? If so, they should be dismissed for lack of competence. If they know this is nonsense, they are exposed as useless bigots who all waste public money on these fools.


Let's not forget Bob that, to those of us in the real world, the practical day to day business of a football club (even HomoFC!) hardly constitues what might be termed in financial terms a "complex business" and this will reflect in the accounting systems accordingly!! :wink:

The "managerial tier" of CEC might easily be described as a group of people who have reached their current positions due to length of service, not necessarily even excellent in nature, and not due to their respective high levels of excellent skills and experience in managing the operation of what could realistically be described as a "complex and significant business" which DOES require highly skilled and experienced individuals to manage it competently! :rolleyes:

One only has to refer to a couple of recent press revelations regarding the Edinburgh Trams and the CEC administered "Common Repairs Building Works System" to see that CEC may well not have such people in the necessary key managerial positions! :wink:

[Baader]

Do they use minus signs in Lithuania?

Maybe he though the profit at the club just kept increasing at an incredible rate...

[JoeTortolanoFanClub]

Pedant alert...

It is actually about the least Lithuanian name you can get. Like most of Vlad's mates he is an ethnic Russian - but unlike Vlad he has Lithuanianised his name. It's easy to do - just add 'us' at the end of first names and 'as' or 'auskas' at the end of surnames (and negotiate a relevant consonant if necessary). He is Vitali Vasili. Vlad would be Vladimirus Romanovas.

Our new manager would be Patrickus Fenlonauskas. I'm sure it would be easy (if you knew how) to do some sort of computerised random Lith name generator and provide ourselves with hours (well seconds) of idle amusement.

Pedant alert 2...you are almost correct...actually it is Vladimiras Romanovas and it would be Patrickas Fenlonas. Lithuanianising non-Lithuanian names is necessary for the strict rules of Lithuanian language grammar to be followed...especially in respect of noun declensions. It is not a matter of choice.

Ir taip...Aš kalbu lietuviškai !

[JoeTortolanoFanClub]

[QUOTE=Baader;3006062]Do they use minus signs in Lithuania?[QUOTE]

Yes...especially when talking about the temperature.