Vlad sack-o-thon statement bingo

[matty_f]

So Vlad's sacked another manager, with a bit of luck he'll enlighten us with what has happened from his point of view, with a statement on their website sometime soon.

What words can we expect to see? Only one thing for it, let's have a statement prediction thread.

I'll get the ball rolling, I reckon we'll see the following words or phrases:

monkeys
mafia
failure to see Thomson is a hero
disease
traitor
killing the club from inside
spineless weedy fatty
didn't want a manager that literally bent over and took it all the time.


Sure others will spring to mind, but what do you expect from Vlad's statement?

[Removed]

Crooks, criminals & thieves

football patriots

manipulating

maniacs

[Jonnyboy]

So Vlad's sacked another manager, with a bit of luck he'll enlighten us with what has happened from his point of view, with a statement on their website sometime soon.

What words can we expect to see? Only one thing for it, let's have a statement prediction thread.

I'll get the ball rolling, I reckon we'll see the following words or phrases:

monkeys
mafia
failure to see Thomson is a hero
disease
traitor
killing the club from inside
spineless weedy fatty
didn't want a manager that literally bent over and took it all the time.


Sure others will spring to mind, but what do you expect from Vlad's statement?

To overcome the crooks who run the cesspit that is Scottish football I need a man who can take them on and win

[matty_f]

"I got sick of looking at his fat greetin puss, and hearing his hoarse croaky annoying voice"

[matty_f]

Crooks, criminals & thieves

football patriots

manipulating

maniacs

Definitely hope to see that one.:thumbsup:

[jakki]

The refs are corrupt

[Jonnyboy]

Had to go as the Portuguese fella wanted into the shop changing room

[matty_f]

Eventually it got to the point that it was like throwing a sausage up an alley, so I had to find a new man to bend over and take it. It was like a wizard's sleeve, like a hippo yawning. I got an echo when I shouted in the team line up...

[DaveF]

fight the establishment
biggest force in football
loyal supporters
hero
section n nazi's

[Viva_Palmeiras]

I wonder if the yams that were up in arms about the newsinternational payments for gagging clauses over the hacking incidents will demand that JJ the truth doth out ?

[ronaldo7]

He took a loan out with Wonga without me knowing.

I'm the only one who racks up debts in this club.

[Hibercelona]

Something about conspiracies, Russians hats and the purchase of a new Sub.

[MWHIBBIES]

New stand

[PaulSmith]

I think he'll just say that Fat Jim knew it was coming.

[Minder]

Lithuanian folk ken whats going on.

[Viva_Palmeiras]

Those real supporters with Hearts beat interest in mind will see that true leadership is required.
Our former manager was no leader of men.
He surrounded himself with phoneys, liars who take from the club yet give nothing back.
Like all organisations of great standing we shall stand shoulder to shoulder and take FIFAs example to weed out the enemies from within

[Judas Iscariot]

Skulduggery :agree:

[macca70]

Lithuanian mythology states that having the same letter for both initials is bad luck, JJ and BB have to go, GL can stay!!

Bringing in someone with experience of European football so we can win Europa League this season.

[Disc O'Dave]

Lithuanian folk ken whats going on.

Thanks, that'll be a good wee while to get the bits of my dinner out of the keyboard.....

[LeithBoozy]

Disloyal,..............I asked him to jump, he barely left the ground, fat basta. :agree:

[jacomo]

FJK lied to me - he wasn't on the sex offenders register after all. He had to go.

[matty_f]

I got him to touch the magic black box and it said "you're fired".

[Hibrandenburg]

'Fat Jim was too good looking to be a real Jambo'.

[matty_f]

"Fat Jim was a disappointment, you know. I mean, you look at him and what do you see? A grumpy fat waster? Sure, but you sort of expect him to be a bit funny, you know like that Jim Royal from off the telly.At the very least, I was expecting something other than that grating voice of his. What's funny about that? The Hibs fans, they laugh at him, they think he's hilarious. 0-7, 6-2, 5-1? Brilliant. What do I get? Him and Gary bloody Locke getting stonners at a point at Easter Road. What is funny about that?"
"Even with the news of Craig Thomson, not a single joke from him. Not one. Look around Jim, there are loads of jokes about it. My phone didn't stop buzzing with texts with Craig Thomson jokes. Even more than I got from Rix! He's a good guy to have around, look at the banter we're getting! I told Jim, but no, he wants him out the club."
"And I tell him, the goalie's throwing games, empty him, and instead of a fight I get a fat man bending over to take it. What is funny about that??! And Billy Bloody Brown? More amusement in solitary confinement. Morning Billy, any jokes today? No, thought not. Same as ever other bloody day. This is a joke club you clowns. It's supposed to be funny. Supposed to make people laugh. Was I laughing? Not even one win in fifteen games - with THIS squad!! Not even that was funny! Early cup exits, funny for everyone else, funny for me - why did Fat Jim not find it funny?!"
"Bitterly disappointed. I thought fat men were supposed to be funny. Fat Jim's ruined it. I don't even like Santa now."

[Hibbyradge]

"Champions of Europe".

"5 years".

"Will not sell our stars to the Old Firm".

"War chest".

"World Cup Stars".

"Folders".

Where do I collect my £5?

[Danderhall Hibs]

Big.
Stadium plans.
Big club.
Terry Venables.
Really big club.
Massive.

[DaveF]

"Fat Jim was a disappointment, you know. I mean, you look at him and what do you see? A grumpy fat waster? Sure, but you sort of expect him to be a bit funny, you know like that Jim Royal from off the telly.At the very least, I was expecting something other than that grating voice of his. What's funny about that? The Hibs fans, they laugh at him, they think he's hilarious. 0-7, 6-2, 5-1? Brilliant. What do I get? Him and Gary bloody Locke getting stonners at a point at Easter Road. What is funny about that?"
"Even with the news of Craig Thomson, not a single joke from him. Not one. Look around Jim, there are loads of jokes about it. My phone didn't stop buzzing with texts with Craig Thomson jokes. Even more than I got from Rix! He's a good guy to have around, look at the banter we're getting! I told Jim, but no, he wants him out the club."
"And I tell him, the goalie's throwing games, empty him, and instead of a fight I get a fat man bending over to take it. What is funny about that??! And Billy Bloody Brown? More amusement in solitary confinement. Morning Billy, any jokes today? No, thought not. Same as ever other bloody day. This is a joke club you clowns. It's supposed to be funny. Supposed to make people laugh. Was I laughing? Not even one win in fifteen games - with THIS squad!! Not even that was funny! Early cup exits, funny for everyone else, funny for me - why did Fat Jim not find it funny?!"
"Bitterly disappointed. I thought fat men were supposed to be funny. Fat Jim's ruined it. I don't even like Santa now."

Brilliant Matty :greengrin

If Vlad needs a speech writer, you could well get the gig!

[lyonhibs]

It had come to my attention that an unfeasible number of scotch eggs were going missing from the larder in The Robertson Suite (hot water optional) I sacked Jim Duffy for using my Brasso on his baldy knapper, so I wasn't about to let this go unpunished. That, and the evil spirits he and that fat roly poly gimp Billy Brown brought into my club!! Only Vladka is allowed in my Maroon inner sanctum (ooo errr Matron)

He was in daily contact with The Mafia, who stalk my every effort to purchase Tynecastle High School and turn it into a dry dock for my subma...........I mean acquire the land for purposes of great expansion of Main Stand. This was intolerable, and the cherry on the cake was his gurning puss and whiny voice. I've robbed Bosnian pensioners with more joie de vivre than that fat twat.

He had do go - now, his replacement, someone with the word "Bent" in his name. Perfect.


Or at least that's what I hope it'll be. Failing that, an assortment of "mafia" "we know the problem, now we have the cure" and "I'm actually a Hibby, so GIRFUY"

[matty_f]

"He creeped my wife out, he had to go. That face. Jeez!"

[sixtwo]

No doubt it will be some cryptic nonsense about 'the unworkable legacy of the previous incumbent'.........:wink:

Seriously, I reckon he'll mentions stuff about lacking courage, bravery, loyalty etc - basically for not sticking by a paedo and letting the 'trashy' papers hound out a valuable player

[marinello59]

:singing: Glory Glory to the Hibees

[One Day Soon]

...all John Robertson's fault...
CIA
KGB
IMF
ABC
shoot that poison arrow
giant conspiracy
Need an ointment for my infected Fedotovas
Murdoch
...all George Burley's fault...
nazi gold bullion
Marilyn Monroe
Da Vinci Code
Mission Impossible
tried to sign Tom Cruise
Flying Saucers
Penny sweeties
Arbroath transfer money
Knights Templar
Knights of the Round Table
...all Graham Rix's fault...
Mowgli with telescopic blowpipe from the grassy knoll
Lee Harvey Oswaldicius
Jack Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster mafia man?
...all Valdas Ivanauskas' fault...
Area 51
Sam Giancana
Get that seeping Goncaruk healed
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
MI5
MI6
MI A Nutter?
...all Anatoly Korobochka's fault...
Special Boat Squadron
Spetsnaz
Submariners with high hats
Top Hats
Top Cat
Officer Dibble
Wibble wibble
Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb
...all Stephen Frail's fault...
Mr Mustard
Royal blood line
Why are the players mysteriously infected with Vasiliauskas?
new stand to replace the twin towers
intergalactic franchise
Nade is a Galactico
tell the bailiffs I'm not home
tell laura I lover her
...all Csaba Laszlo's fault...
the wheels on the bus go round and round
the wheels on the bandwagon have come right off
the wheels in my head are powered by magic luminous squirrels
the times they are a changin'
Bob Dylan, I sold hees records een legeeteemeete beesnees after nasty communists
price on my head
Gerry on my tail
Roger blue leader
...all Jim Jefferies' fault...
everyone's a Cadbury's fruit and nut case
I just happened to be in the changing room when they sold me the club
raise the Titanic
sink the Titanic
No, wait a minute, the Titanic was an SFA conspiracy
Gary Mackay, international super villain
Goldfinger
Gold middle finger to every manager
Get Carter
get me another manager
get me out of here
Get me Jimmy Carter
Peanuts! Cadbury's take them and they cover them in chocolate...
...all Eduard Malofeev's fault...
Footprints of the Gods
I am an ancient Aztec
Aztec Camera
Don't let Mann in front of the camera
International scouting network in my scullery
welcome to Hearts, fax machine is in room next door
Goodbye from Hearts, gagging order is in post

[Sodje_18]

Champions league
Criminals run this league
Wibble
Mafia
Conspiracy
Bias
Thomson was provoked by crooks
Jeffries is a traitor
Can't find insurance for my submarine
Jeffries not on board with new megastand

[Twa Cairpets]

...
the wheels in my head are powered by magic luminous squirrels...


All of it genius, pure genius, but I love the squirrels.

:not worth:top marks

[basehibby]

New stand

Pie stand (empty)

[Hibby D]

"Fat Jim was a disappointment, you know. I mean, you look at him and what do you see? A grumpy fat waster? Sure, but you sort of expect him to be a bit funny, you know like that Jim Royal from off the telly.At the very least, I was expecting something other than that grating voice of his. What's funny about that? The Hibs fans, they laugh at him, they think he's hilarious. 0-7, 6-2, 5-1? Brilliant. What do I get? Him and Gary bloody Locke getting stonners at a point at Easter Road. What is funny about that?"
"Even with the news of Craig Thomson, not a single joke from him. Not one. Look around Jim, there are loads of jokes about it. My phone didn't stop buzzing with texts with Craig Thomson jokes. Even more than I got from Rix! He's a good guy to have around, look at the banter we're getting! I told Jim, but no, he wants him out the club."
"And I tell him, the goalie's throwing games, empty him, and instead of a fight I get a fat man bending over to take it. What is funny about that??! And Billy Bloody Brown? More amusement in solitary confinement. Morning Billy, any jokes today? No, thought not. Same as ever other bloody day. This is a joke club you clowns. It's supposed to be funny. Supposed to make people laugh. Was I laughing? Not even one win in fifteen games - with THIS squad!! Not even that was funny! Early cup exits, funny for everyone else, funny for me - why did Fat Jim not find it funny?!"
"Bitterly disappointed. I thought fat men were supposed to be funny. Fat Jim's ruined it. I don't even like Santa now."

:top marksSuperb Matty :not worth

Let down only by the absence of the word "sh*te" :faf:

[jacomo]

...all John Robertson's fault...
CIA
KGB
IMF
ABC
shoot that poison arrow
giant conspiracy
Need an ointment for my infected Fedotovas
Murdoch
...all George Burley's fault...
nazi gold bullion
Marilyn Monroe
Da Vinci Code
Mission Impossible
tried to sign Tom Cruise
Flying Saucers
Penny sweeties
Arbroath transfer money
Knights Templar
Knights of the Round Table
...all Graham Rix's fault...
Mowgli with telescopic blowpipe from the grassy knoll
Lee Harvey Oswaldicius
Jack Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster mafia man?
...all Valdas Ivanauskas' fault...
Area 51
Sam Giancana
Get that seeping Goncaruk healed
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
MI5
MI6
MI A Nutter?
...all Anatoly Korobochka's fault...
Special Boat Squadron
Spetsnaz
Submariners with high hats
Top Hats
Top Cat
Officer Dibble
Wibble wibble
Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb
...all Stephen Frail's fault...
Mr Mustard
Royal blood line
Why are the players mysteriously infected with Vasiliauskas?
new stand to replace the twin towers
intergalactic franchise
Nade is a Galactico
tell the bailiffs I'm not home
tell laura I lover her
...all Csaba Laszlo's fault...
the wheels on the bus go round and round
the wheels on the bandwagon have come right off
the wheels in my head are powered by magic luminous squirrels
the times they are a changin'
Bob Dylan, I sold hees records een legeeteemeete beesnees after nasty communists
price on my head
Gerry on my tail
Roger blue leader
...all Jim Jefferies' fault...
everyone's a Cadbury's fruit and nut case
I just happened to be in the changing room when they sold me the club
raise the Titanic
sink the Titanic
No, wait a minute, the Titanic was an SFA conspiracy
Gary Mackay, international super villain
Goldfinger
Gold middle finger to every manager
Get Carter
get me another manager
get me out of here
Get me Jimmy Carter
Peanuts! Cadbury's take them and they cover them in chocolate...
...all Eduard Malofeev's fault...
Footprints of the Gods
I am an ancient Aztec
Aztec Camera
Don't let Mann in front of the camera
International scouting network in my scullery
welcome to Hearts, fax machine is in room next door
Goodbye from Hearts, gagging order is in post

:faf:

[lapsedhibee]

...all John Robertson's fault...
CIA
KGB
IMF
ABC
shoot that poison arrow
giant conspiracy
Need an ointment for my infected Fedotovas
Murdoch
...all George Burley's fault...
nazi gold bullion
Marilyn Monroe
Da Vinci Code
Mission Impossible
tried to sign Tom Cruise
Flying Saucers
Penny sweeties
Arbroath transfer money
Knights Templar
Knights of the Round Table
...all Graham Rix's fault...
Mowgli with telescopic blowpipe from the grassy knoll
Lee Harvey Oswaldicius
Jack Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster mafia man?
...all Valdas Ivanauskas' fault...
Area 51
Sam Giancana
Get that seeping Goncaruk healed
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
MI5
MI6
MI A Nutter?
...all Anatoly Korobochka's fault...
Special Boat Squadron
Spetsnaz
Submariners with high hats
Top Hats
Top Cat
Officer Dibble
Wibble wibble
Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb
...all Stephen Frail's fault...
Mr Mustard
Royal blood line
Why are the players mysteriously infected with Vasiliauskas?
new stand to replace the twin towers
intergalactic franchise
Nade is a Galactico
tell the bailiffs I'm not home
tell laura I lover her
...all Csaba Laszlo's fault...
the wheels on the bus go round and round
the wheels on the bandwagon have come right off
the wheels in my head are powered by magic luminous squirrels
the times they are a changin'
Bob Dylan, I sold hees records een legeeteemeete beesnees after nasty communists
price on my head
Gerry on my tail
Roger blue leader
...all Jim Jefferies' fault...
everyone's a Cadbury's fruit and nut case
I just happened to be in the changing room when they sold me the club
raise the Titanic
sink the Titanic
No, wait a minute, the Titanic was an SFA conspiracy
Gary Mackay, international super villain
Goldfinger
Gold middle finger to every manager
Get Carter
get me another manager
get me out of here
Get me Jimmy Carter
Peanuts! Cadbury's take them and they cover them in chocolate...
...all Eduard Malofeev's fault...
Footprints of the Gods
I am an ancient Aztec
Aztec Camera
Don't let Mann in front of the camera
International scouting network in my scullery
welcome to Hearts, fax machine is in room next door
Goodbye from Hearts, gagging order is in post

:greengrin

All these plus:

Chappaquiddick
No wheels on my wagon and I'm still rolling along

[alfie]

Need an ointment for my infected Fedotovas
Get that seeping Goncaruk healed
Why are the players mysteriously infected with Vasiliauskas?
the wheels in my head are powered by magic luminous squirrels
Goodbye from Hearts, gagging order is in post

I'll have a pint of what of what you're having! :cheers: :top marks

[alfie]

Get three coffins ready :cb

[One Day Soon]

All of it genius, pure genius, but I love the squirrels.

:not worth:top marks

I may patent the squirrels. I forgot to add in Rovers and yellow cardigan references but you can't remember everything.

[Baker9]

Champions league
Criminals run this league
Wibble
Mafia
Conspiracy
Bias
Thomson was provoked by crooks
Jeffries is a traitor
Can't find insurance for my submarine
Jeffries not on board with new megastand

:faf:

[alfie]

So who had the following on their bingo card?

media
monkeys
fools
idiots
suspicions
Lithuania

Another classic from the mad one! :Romanov: :top marks

[jonty]

http://www.scotsman.com/heartofmidlothianfc/Romanov-hits-out-at-39media.6812327.jp
http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20110803/vladimir-no-surprise-to-me_2241384_2408787


he really is a plank.

[matty_f]

So Vlad's sacked another manager, with a bit of luck he'll enlighten us with what has happened from his point of view, with a statement on their website sometime soon.

What words can we expect to see? Only one thing for it, let's have a statement prediction thread.

I'll get the ball rolling, I reckon we'll see the following words or phrases:

monkeys
mafia
failure to see Thomson is a hero
disease
traitor
killing the club from inside
spineless weedy fatty
didn't want a manager that literally bent over and took it all the time.

Sure others will spring to mind, but what do you expect from Vlad's statement?


http://www.scotsman.com/heartofmidlothianfc/Romanov-hits-out-at-39media.6812327.jp
http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20110803/vladimir-no-surprise-to-me_2241384_2408787


he really is a plank.

:whistle: