The Royal Wedding

[Dashing Bob S]

I'd love to have it conformed that Elton John is going to perform a new song for this great event. It would be a fitting tribute to Princess Diana, if nothing else.

I'd also like to hear from celebs like Bono, telling us how important and cool this splendid occasion will be.

Any other sycophantic ideas on how a gala occasion can be made perfect?

[Pete]

How about a brief appearance by a small, brainwashed boy from bradford with an explosive belt. I might do it myself if it means there will be an end to this outdated and downright wrong "institution".


...not unless they feel free to grant us a public holiday on the day of the wedding. Being self-employed I might just take the day off anyway to celebrate their thoughtfulness.

[Greentinted]

I, for one, will be inconsolable if Nicholas Witchell and Jenny Bond are not given free reign over the entirety of the BBC.

And obviously we need Clare Balding discussing the frocks for at least 14 hours of this special day...

[Danderhall Hibs]

I’d like them to release a sex tape and not charge for it as a sort of “thank-you for paying for my wedding” to the taxpayer.

[Hainan Hibs]

The icing on the cake would be a lovely piece from Jim Murphy or Ian Gray, or any other charasmatic positive thinking Unionist telling the world how Scotland is towing the party line and every Scot cannot wait to get the Union Flag out and wave it about with as much effort as the Jambo twirling of scarfs.

[heretoday]

How about a miked-up Gray and Keys standing watching the guests arrive and commenting on the ladies' fashions?

[Pretty Boy]

I'd like to see a human sacrifice of a few of those Daily Mail reading types who hang about Buckingham Palace when anything affecting the Royal Family happens. You know the ones who used to hand birthday cards to the Queen Mother when she was still knocking about, the ones who held a 2 year vigil outside the Palce when Diana (Queen of our hearts!!) died and the ones who wave silly wee flags every time the Queen celebrates a birthday.

This to me would be an act that is in keeping with the wonderful day and really give these loyal subjects a chance to show just how commited they are to Queen and country.

[poolman]

I'd like to see a human sacrifice of a few of those Daily Mail reading types who hang about Buckingham Palace when anything affecting the Royal Family happens. You know the ones who used to hand birthday cards to the Queen Mother when she was still knocking about, the ones who held a 2 year vigil outside the Palce when Diana (Queen of our hearts!!) died and the ones who wave silly wee flags every time the Queen celebrates a birthday.

This to me would be an act that is in keeping with the wonderful day and really give these loyal subjects a chance to show just how commited they are to Queen and country.


We should all wear suits and dresses made from the Union Flag

Then we can all put trestle tables out in the streets, eat cucumber sandwiches, heaps of tomatoes and drink lashings of ginger beer and have a jolly good time celebrating this momentous occasion

[Dashing Bob S]

Would love to see a bloody good war, just to spice up the occasion. What about invading the French, then calling a truce just before the day of the wedding, then having Jeremy Paxman present a program on how such a joyous event unites us all in world peace?

Other idea: A Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear special on the royal motorcade.

[.Sean.]

I don't think i'm alone in saying that I could not give a ***** about the Royal wedding. They're a really pointless bunch.

[SteveHFC]

I don't think i'm alone in saying that I could not give a ***** about the Royal wedding. They're a really pointless bunch.

Same.

[ancienthibby]

Whatever happens, I just hope NEVER EVER EVER again to hear about Princes (that's a joke!) Wills or Harry again!!:aok:

If we ever have to have a successor to Betty, my vote goes to Princess Ann!!:agree::agree:

[Saorsa]

I dinnae think it should happen at all. I think the whole lot of them and their hangers on should be put on board one of the old space shuttles when they are taken out of service and then launched in tae space. Just after it has left the earth's atmosphere it should be blown up.

[--------]

Would love to see a bloody good war, just to spice up the occasion. What about invading the French, then calling a truce just before the day of the wedding, then having Jeremy Paxman present a program on how such a joyous event unites us all in world peace?

Other idea: A Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear special on the royal motorcade.


The Stig driving The Wedding Car?

[Dashing Bob S]

Would like to see an additional tax levied on all but the high earners, in order to ensure that this knees-up really hits the heights.

Would also like to see a further cut in health, education and social welfare services, so that people fully appreciate the distracting spectacle.

But that's government policy already.

[Phil D. Rolls]

Is it too early to suggest that a grassy knoll with white picket fence is positioned near the Abbey?

D. Corleone, Sicily

[ancienthibby]

Is it too early to suggest that a grassy knoll with white picket fence is positioned near the Abbey?

D. Corleone, Sicily

Surely, should be outwith these Isles of ours??:agree:

Maybe a Hanoverian residence is appropriate:greengrin

[khib70]

The Stig driving The Wedding Car?

I vote for a pissed-up French chauffeur and a motorcycle escort of papparazzi, all briefed before the event by the Duke of Edinburgh


:devil:

[J-C]

Picked up a couple of Londoners from the airport yesterday, they said to me" what do you think about having your own Royal wedding up here in Edinburgh ".............I said "what wedding, that's being held in London"............"no" she said "Zara Phillips marraige to that rugger chappy"........."but she's not Royal" I said " she's a commoner, her mum never gave her kids titles, she wanted them growing up the same as us. "

Like the big one in London, I couldn't give a flying **** about either of them.

[RyeSloan]

Picked up a couple of Londoners from the airport yesterday, they said to me" what do you think about having your own Royal wedding up here in Edinburgh ".............I said "what wedding, that's being held in London"............"no" she said "Zara Phillips marraige to that rugger chappy"........."but she's not Royal" I said " she's a commoner, her mum never gave her kids titles, she wanted them growing up the same as us. "

Like the big one in London, I couldn't give a flying **** about either of them.

I'm the same but on the other hand I have no problem with people that do want to get excited about it and considering (whether we like/agree with it or not) that ARE the UK's monarchy it's hardly suprising there is a media scrum around it all as well.....not worth even getting upset about I would say.

[Hillsidehibby]

I am in London at the moment and the place is buzzing with anticipation.

The bunting and tables for the street parties are already out and pearly kings and queens are dancing up and down the old kent road with chimney sweeps swinging the old bamboo.

I may have to camp out from tonight just to get a good view of the future king and his angelic bride as he takes her up the mall.

[Lofarl]

Taking her up the mall eh. So there will be a sex tape?

[easty]

Taking her up the mall eh. So there will be a sex tape?

'Good Will Humping'

[One Day Soon]

Since we the taxpayer seem to foot a fair bit of the bill for the Royals I think this event should be screened wall to wall and made as big a spectacle as possible. Basically it needs to be syndicated as far and wide as possible globally to maximise the tourism pound we get back.

I won't be watching.

[One Day Soon]

The icing on the cake would be a lovely piece from Jim Murphy or Ian Gray, or any other charasmatic positive thinking Unionist telling the world how Scotland is towing the party line and every Scot cannot wait to get the Union Flag out and wave it about with as much effort as the Jambo twirling of scarfs.

I think the most charismatic positive thinking person I've heard on this subject so far has been Alex Salmond. He leapt from the starting blocks to wish the royal couple well and encourage the wedding to take place in St Andrews. Is he a Unionist? I suppose he did promise a referendum on Independence and then declined to even put it to Parliament. A bit astonishing for the first democratically elected Nationalist leader of Scotland in history don't you think?

Or to put it another way, why not take off the tartan underpants next time you post?

[ArabHibee]

Since we the taxpayer seem to foot a fair bit of the bill for the Royals I think this event should be screened wall to wall and made as big a spectacle as possible. Basically it needs to be syndicated as far and wide as possible globally to maximise the tourism pound we get back.

Same as last time then?

[J-C]

At first I thought hey! we get a day off for some wedding I could give a flying one, then I thought, oh wait I'm self employed and I don't get days off for these types of things. :confused::greengrin