Joe Harper anecdotes

[Hibbyradge]

Joe Harper is the guest speaker at my golf club presentation of prizes evening next week. Does anyone have any stories about him that could be used by in his introduction?

[MGmick]

Oh My! This should be good. :devil:

[marinello59]

When he joined Hibs we played a pre-season friendly against Highland League side Deveronvale. The normally Sheep supporting Vale supporters spent the game singing 'Harpers a barrel, Harpers a barrel of sh.......' Could you ask him if he is still a bar ................on second thoughts maybe not.

[marinello59]

Where's Doddie?:devil:

[iwasthere1972]

Where's Doddie?:devil:

Beat me to it. :greengrin

http://www.hibs.net/showthread.php?175270-Roll-out-the-Barrel....-(Lardass-content-over-18s-only)&highlight=joe+harper

[IWasThere2016]

Dave - don't know if you've heard him but wee Joe's good.

[Forza Fred]

Dave - don't know if you've heard him but wee Joe's good.

You could always ask him if now after all these years, if he thinks he could lace Jimmy O'Rourke's boots!:bitchy:

[Alfred E Newman]

I remember a friendly at ER against a top Dutch side which we won 5-0 with Harper scoring all 5 goals. Even that was not enough for some of his critics with one coming out with the classic " Aye , he"s scored 5 goals right enough but what else has he done? He`s a lazy b*****d" .
Was that you Doddie? :greengrin

[GloryGlory]

I remember one game at ER where he came on as substitute. As soon as he stood up from the bench and started taking his tracksuit off, the whole crowd broke into a spontaneous rendition of "Roll out the barrel...".

[BroxburnHibee]

Where's Doddie?:devil:

From a man of God as well........................

"Joe Harper was a purulent pus-laden pestilence on the fair face of Hibernian Football Club, a herpetic hyperglobular haemorrhoid, a bloated bladder of criminal crapulence never exceeded from that day to this."

Do you think we'd get away with this Dave?


:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[George Clooney]

Probably the worst after-dinner speaker I've ever encountered. Was so bad that he made the other speaker (Craig Broon) seem incredibly interesting by comparison.
He'll tell the one about getting locked out of the stadium in Copenhagen when he left the subs bench to go for a pesh, but other than that it will be stories of how good he was.

[hibbybrian]

I heard a story that at the end of the cup final 6-3 defeat to Celtc there was an exchange of words between wee fat Joe and John Blackley when he told JB that if he (Joe) had been playing at the back the tic wouldn't have scored 6 - this was followed by JB chasing WFJ around the dressing room :greengrin

[Hiber-nation]

Ask him why he deliberately missed an open goal in the latter stages of his Hibs career in a game against his beloved Aberdeen when the transfer back to them appeared all but sealed.

[hibbill2002]

Probably the worst after-dinner speaker I've ever encountered. Was so bad that he made the other speaker (Craig Broon) seem incredibly interesting by comparison.
He'll tell the one about getting locked out of the stadium in Copenhagen when he left the subs bench to go for a pesh, but other than that it will be stories of how good he was.
Me too, about as funny as toothache.

[HIBERNIAN-0762]

I heard a story that at the end of the cup final 6-3 defeat to Celtc there was an exchange of words between wee fat Joe and John Blackley when he told JB that if he (Joe) had been playing at the back the tic wouldn't have scored 6 - this was followed by JB chasing WFJ around the dressing room :greengrin


He was probably right...:duck:

[jdships]

Me too, about as funny as toothache.


Sorry but have to agree - pretty dire :agree:

[hibbybrian]

He was probably right...:duck:

the Celtc forwards would certainly have had to run a lot further to get around him :greengrin

[Hibbyradge]

Not too much help available, then. :hilarious

[Phil D. Rolls]

I heard a story that at the end of the cup final 6-3 defeat to Celtc there was an exchange of words between wee fat Joe and John Blackley when he told JB that if he (Joe) had been playing at the back the tic wouldn't have scored 6 - this was followed by JB chasing WFJ around the dressing room :greengrin

I think the story was that he went into the dressing room and said "well I scored a hat trick what did the rest of you do?" This prompted "Gentleman" John Blackley to punch Harper.

My favourite Blackley story was when he was an apprentice. An elderly gentleman touring the stadium told him to apply more elbow grease to his floor sweeping abilities.

"Who the F are you", enquired "Charming" John Blackley.

"I'm the man who's forgotten more about football than you'll ever learn", replied Bill Shankly.

(Shankly is a legendary manager of Liverpool FC, who guided them from obscurity to every title in the game. Blackley took Hibs to a League Cup final (0 - 3 after 30 mins IIRC, and was later AM at St Johnstone and Dundee.)

[givescotlandfreedom]

When I lived in Aberdeen I occasionally read his column in the local paper and hiss bitterness towards us was incredible! This was when it was us and them fighting for 3rd and 4th and all he could come up with was how much bigger a club they are than us! I suppose if you ignore trivial things like turnover, attendances, player quality, stadia and recent success he could well be right.

[Jack]

TBF Aberdeen at their best were way ahead of us in terms of what they achieved at that time.

[givescotlandfreedom]

TBF Aberdeen at their best were way ahead of us in terms of what they achieved at that time.

This was in ca 2005 though. Articles rambling along the lines on there was no way Hibs could finish because Aberdeen are a much bigger club :blah:

[--------]

Where's Doddie?:devil:

Here I am.

Ask him about Sloop decking him at the Christmas party for trying to get off with his (Sloop's) fiancee.

Ask him about all those games he spent hiding from the ball because he's a cowardly wee lardass.

Ask him how Hibs managed to find a pair of shorts big enough to cover his hippopotamus backside.

Tell him we have a new electric railway in the Caldera, and that Doddie would LOVE to show him EXACTLY how it works.... :grr:


I see I've already been quoted, but I'll say it again, just so's there's no mistake....

Joe Harper was a purulent pus-laden pestilence on the fair face of Hibernian Football Club, a herpetic hyperglobular haemorrhoid, a bloated bladder of criminal crapulence never exceeded from that day to this.

[Siralbertkidd]

I seem to remember him scoring a magic thirty yarder against the hertz at ER.
I seem to remember him out jumping Peter McLoy to head a last minute winner at Ipox
I seem to remember him having a near 1 to 1 goal ratio and being top scorer with evey club every season he played.

Maybe I am just a glass half full person....

[snooky]

Probably the worst after-dinner speaker I've ever encountered. Was so bad that he made the other speaker (Craig Broon) seem incredibly interesting by comparison.
He'll tell the one about getting locked out of the stadium in Copenhagen when he left the subs bench to go for a pesh, but other than that it will be stories of how good he was.

Obviously you haven't had the misfortune of witnessing Donald Finlay's dire attempt at being a comedian (despite his qualifications).
I have seen Joe Harper at a sportsman's dinner and although I have an inbred dislike of him (since the Tornado days) I thought he spoke okay.
He never said much about his time at Hibs which is understandable as there were loads of beer bottles on the tables and he was well within range. :greengrin

[--------]

I seem to remember him scoring a magic thirty yarder against the hertz at ER.
I seem to remember him out jumping Peter McLoy to head a last minute winner at Ipox
I seem to remember him having a near 1 to 1 goal ratio and being top scorer with evey club every season he played.

Maybe I am just a glass half full person....

"A near one to one goal ratio"? With Hibs? Not a chance.


The ONLY two centre-forwards with a goals-to-games ratio anywhere near one-to-one (except the one-game wonders) are Joe Baker and Neil Martin. To compare the Lardass to EITHER of them is blasphemy.

(And you didn't have to fiddle the stats with goals scored in pre-season friendlies to know just how good those two were. Baker a true superstar, and Martin the sort of player you were surprised when he DIDN'T score.

And they were both sportsmen and gentlemen - which Harper emphatically was NOT.

[Kojock]

Ask him if there was any truth in the rumour that the real reason he was emptied from ER was fro stealing from the other Hibs players.

[WindyMiller]

Joe Harper is the guest speaker at my golf club presentation of prizes evening next week. Does anyone have any stories about him that could be used by in his introduction?

Having read the thread I'd like to be there!
:agree:

[Hibbyradge]

Having read the thread I'd like to be there!
:agree:

:greengrin

It's unlikely any of the helpful suggestions on here will be used.

Even if they were all true.

[Ferryhibby]

I heard a story that at the end of the cup final 6-3 defeat to Celtc there was an exchange of words between wee fat Joe and John Blackley when he told JB that if he (Joe) had been playing at the back the tic wouldn't have scored 6 - this was followed by JB chasing WFJ around the dressing room :greengrin

Yeah i heard he said to Blackley wtf goin on im up there scorin 3 and you lot are lettin in 6 which ended in the fat man on his arse with a blackley shaped fist on his jaw... this guy hated his time at hibs and for me it was mutual scored goals but disrupted a great team

[Alfred E Newman]

Here I am.

Ask him about Sloop decking him at the Christmas party for trying to get off with his (Sloop's) fiancee.

Ask him about all those games he spent hiding from the ball because he's a cowardly wee lardass.

Ask him how Hibs managed to find a pair of shorts big enough to cover his hippopotamus backside.

Tell him we have a new electric railway in the Caldera, and that Doddie would LOVE to show him EXACTLY how it works.... :grr:


I see I've already been quoted, but I'll say it again, just so's there's no mistake....

Joe Harper was a purulent pus-laden pestilence on the fair face of Hibernian Football Club, a herpetic hyperglobular haemorrhoid, a bloated bladder of criminal crapulence never exceeded from that day to this.

I think it should not be forgotten that Joe Harper didn`t come knocking on the door at Easter Road looking for a game. Eddie Turnbull in his wisdom paid top dollar to bring him here. It was his decision to bring Harper here so maybe some of the abuse should be directed at auld Ned.
I also think that the whole Joe Harper thing is typical of the thinking of Hibs supporters thoughout the years. Not Hibs class and all that guff. You just have to look at our record since then to see where that policy has got us .

[Dashing Bob S]

I think it should not be forgotten that Joe Harper didn`t come knocking on the door at Easter Road looking for a game. Eddie Turnbull in his wisdom paid top dollar to bring him here. It was his decision to bring Harper here so maybe some of the abuse should be directed at auld Ned.
I also think that the whole Joe Harper thing is typical of the thinking of Hibs supporters thoughout the years. Not Hibs class and all that guff. You just have to look at our record since then to see where that policy has got us .

I agree 100per cent. Harper became the fall guy for old Ned screwing up and dismantling the Tornadoes too early. We couldn't blame an ex-member of the Famous Five, so we took it out on the guy who broke up the much-loved Gordon-O'Rourke partnership.

Ned left Hibs in decline at exactly the wrong time in Scottish football, when the OF were weak and ripe to be taken out. Aberdeen and Dundee United were the benefactors. If I had a time machine I'd go back to our centenary year and boot his torn-faced erse out the managers chair, replacing him with Ferguson.

[--------]

I agree 100per cent. Harper became the fall guy for old Ned screwing up and dismantling the Tornadoes too early. We couldn't blame an ex-member of the Famous Five, so we took it out on the guy who broke up the much-loved Gordon-O'Rourke partnership.

Ned left Hibs in decline at exactly the wrong time in Scottish football, when the OF were weak and ripe to be taken out. Aberdeen and Dundee United were the benefactors. If I had a time machine I'd go back to our centenary year and boot his torn-faced erse out the managers chair, replacing him with Ferguson.


Wisdom after the event, I'm afraid, Bob - but you're absolutely right.

Still cannae stand Harper, mind.... :greengrin

[Jonnyboy]

Ask him if he's still got the fur coat he was wearing at the photo shoot following his signing. Boy did that coat hide a multitude of sins, or should that be bellies :greengrin

I'm as fond of Harper as Doddie but I concur with the view he was scapegoat after Turnbull needlessly began dismantling a team that could and possibly would have gone on to win either the title, the Scottish Cup or both. If Ned had bought a decent centre half instead of Harper then Dixie Deans might not have found it so easy to beat us almost single handed :wink:

[--------]

Ask him if he's still got the fur coat he was wearing at the photo shoot following his signing. Boy did that coat hide a multitude of sins, or should that be bellies :greengrin

I'm as fond of Harper as Doddie but I concur with the view he was scapegoat after Turnbull needlessly began dismantling a team that could and possibly would have gone on to win either the title, the Scottish Cup or both. If Ned had bought a decent centre half instead of Harper then Dixie Deans might not have found it so easy to beat us almost single handed :wink:

:agree:

In the "Tornadoes" video he admits he over-trained them after the 7-0 on 1/1/73 and took the edge off them. But he doesn't explain why he punted them all out the door in such short order.

When you think of who he COULD have brought in with the £140,000 he squandered on the 12 stone of unsightly fat and cartilage that was Joe Blubberguts Harper....

Turnbull was the one who signed Graeme Fyfe and Ally Scott from Rangers. Scott - who always seemed to be playing with his boots on the wrong feet. Didn't help that those feet were WEBBED.

And did he REALLY claim that Benny Brazil was going to be "the next Pat Stanton"?

I'm crying now. :boo hoo:

[Iggy Pope]

:agree:

In the "Tornadoes" video he admits he over-trained them after the 7-0 on 1/1/73 and took the edge off them. But he doesn't explain why he punted them all out the door in such short order.

When you think of who he COULD have brought in with the £140,000 he squandered on the 12 stone of unsightly fat and cartilage that was Joe Blubberguts Harper....

Turnbull was the one who signed Graeme Fyfe and Ally Scott from Rangers. Scott - who always seemed to be playing with his boots on the wrong feet. Didn't help that those feet were WEBBED.

And did he REALLY claim that Benny Brazil was going to be "the next Pat Stanton"?I'm crying now. :boo hoo:

I'm sure it was Lindsay Muir who was burdened with that, not Benny.

And in Benny's defence, he played under a number of managers (including getting U-21 caps?) and was a bit more maligned than was ever necessary.

Hibbyradge - I listened to Joe Harper at a smoker a couple of years ago and he was mildly entertaining but not a side splitter. He was overshadowed by Jim Leishman at that particular dinner mind.
But I'd suggest that as the good Hibby that I know you to be, you ask him about getting that spectacular winner in the first ever Premier League Edinburgh Derby or the winner v Falkirk at Tynie in the LC SF. He remembered it vividly even though most of his critics on here don't seem to.

[BroxburnHibee]

I'm sure it was Lindsay Muir who was burdened with that, not Benny.

And in Benny's defence, he played under a number of managers (including getting U-21 caps?) and was a bit more maligned than was ever necessary.

Hibbyradge - I listened to Joe Harper at a smoker a couple of years ago and he was mildly entertaining but not a side splitter. He was overshadowed by Jim Leishman at that particular dinner mind.
But I'd suggest that as the good Hibby that I know you to be, you ask him about getting that spectacular winner in the first ever Premier League Edinburgh Derby or the winner v Falkirk at Tynie in the LC SF. He remembered it vividly even though most of his critics on here don't seem to.

Leishman was at our golf club earlier this year - he was pretty good - George McNeil outshone him that night.

Think I've posted this before but one of Leish's funniest quips that night was when he ran home to let his (dyed in the wool bluenose) Dad know that he had been picked to play his first game for the Pars against his Dad's beloved Rangers the next day.

His proud Dad's response on hearing this news......................




















"I HOPE YOU GET F****D"


:hilarious :hilarious :hilarious :hilarious :hilarious

[Banff]

When he joined Hibs we played a pre-season friendly against Highland League side Deveronvale. The normally Sheep supporting Vale supporters spent the game singing 'Harpers a barrel, Harpers a barrel of sh.......' Could you ask him if he is still a bar ................on second thoughts maybe not.

Deveronvale fans have never or will ever be a sheep supporting club

[Hiber-nation]

I'm sure it was Lindsay Muir who was burdened with that, not Benny.

And in Benny's defence, he played under a number of managers (including getting U-21 caps?) and was a bit more maligned than was ever necessary.

Hibbyradge - I listened to Joe Harper at a smoker a couple of years ago and he was mildly entertaining but not a side splitter. He was overshadowed by Jim Leishman at that particular dinner mind.
But I'd suggest that as the good Hibby that I know you to be, you ask him about getting that spectacular winner in the first ever Premier League Edinburgh Derby or the winner v Falkirk at Tynie in the LC SF. He remembered it vividly even though most of his critics on here don't seem to.

Or the goal against Liverpool. I liked fat Joe for a bit, I must admit.

[Phil D. Rolls]

:agree:

In the "Tornadoes" video he admits he over-trained them after the 7-0 on 1/1/73 and took the edge off them. But he doesn't explain why he punted them all out the door in such short order.

When you think of who he COULD have brought in with the £140,000 he squandered on the 12 stone of unsightly fat and cartilage that was Joe Blubberguts Harper....

Turnbull was the one who signed Graeme Fyfe and Ally Scott from Rangers. Scott - who always seemed to be playing with his boots on the wrong feet. Didn't help that those feet were WEBBED.

And did he REALLY claim that Benny Brazil was going to be "the next Pat Stanton"?

I'm crying now. :boo hoo:

He said in his autobiography that he twigged the team didn't have the edge to dominate, and decided to start again.


I'm sure it was Lindsay Muir who was burdened with that, not Benny.

And in Benny's defence, he played under a number of managers (including getting U-21 caps?) and was a bit more maligned than was ever necessary.

Hibbyradge - I listened to Joe Harper at a smoker a couple of years ago and he was mildly entertaining but not a side splitter. He was overshadowed by Jim Leishman at that particular dinner mind.
But I'd suggest that as the good Hibby that I know you to be, you ask him about getting that spectacular winner in the first ever Premier League Edinburgh Derby or the winner v Falkirk at Tynie in the LC SF. He remembered it vividly even though most of his critics on here don't seem to.

The way we (the fans) treated Benny was a disgrace. :agree:

He may have won U21 caps, but IIRC the U21 coach was a certain E. Turnbull.

[TornadoHibby]

"A near one to one goal ratio"? With Hibs? Not a chance.


The ONLY two centre-forwards with a goals-to-games ratio anywhere near one-to-one (except the one-game wonders) are Joe Baker and Neil Martin. To compare the Lardass to EITHER of them is blasphemy.

(And you didn't have to fiddle the stats with goals scored in pre-season friendlies to know just how good those two were. Baker a true superstar, and Martin the sort of player you were surprised when he DIDN'T score.

And they were both sportsmen and gentlemen - which Harper emphatically was NOT.

Spot on Doddie! :agree:

Hibbyradge, ask him how he felt the day that Alan Gordon was sitting in top of him (with Lardess FULLY submerged! - well it was a big communal bath :wink:) after being "wound" up at training by him about how good he was compared to Tosh and had Pat Stanton and Erich Schaedler not intervened and pulled Tosh out of the bath, a serious outcome for Lardess could easily have occurred! :cool2: :wink:

Source - a younger player whom Lardess had advised, as the younger (reserve team) player looked with pleasure at his pay packet after earning three win bonuses in a week, "I pay mair in tax than that son!" :agree:

Just the way to encourage the younger players eh?!

Harper was a scrote to use a current term for such people! :grr:

[superfurryhibby]

:agree:

In the "Tornadoes" video he admits he over-trained them after the 7-0 on 1/1/73 and took the edge off them. But he doesn't explain why he punted them all out the door in such short order.

When you think of who he COULD have brought in with the £140,000 he squandered on the 12 stone of unsightly fat and cartilage that was Joe Blubberguts Harper....

Turnbull was the one who signed Graeme Fyfe and Ally Scott from Rangers. Scott - who always seemed to be playing with his boots on the wrong feet. Didn't help that those feet were WEBBED.

And did he REALLY claim that Benny Brazil was going to be "the next Pat Stanton"?

I'm crying now. :boo hoo:

What makes that all the more painful is that he swapped Ian Munro for these muppets. Ian went on to achieve a fine career with Rangers, Nottingham Forest and Sunderland (amongst others) and gained a fair few Scottish caps as well. It's fair to say that Fyfe and Scott never made an impression at ER.

Harper had great success with Turnbull at Aberdeen and I guess Eddie felt he would add something that was lacking to the HIbs team. I must say that I cannae imagine what that something was, given that they had a fantastic goal scoring record in the seasons prior to WFJ's arrival.

Investment in a dominant centre half (not Roy Barry at the end of his career) or a top quality central midfielder (allowing Stanton to play in his preferred central defensive role) may have been a more prudent use of the £100,000.

[--------]

What makes that all the more painful is that he swapped Ian Munro for these muppets. Ian went on to achieve a fine career with Rangers, Nottingham Forest and Sunderland (amongst others) and gained a fair few Scottish caps as well. It's fair to say that Fyfe and Scott never made an impression at ER.

Harper had great success with Turnbull at Aberdeen and I guess Eddie felt he would add something that was lacking to the HIbs team. I must say that I cannae imagine what that something was, given that they had a fantastic goal scoring record in the seasons prior to WFJ's arrival.

Investment in a dominant centre half (not Roy Barry at the end of his career) or a top quality central midfielder (allowing Stanton to play in his preferred central defensive role) may have been a more prudent use of the £100,000.


At 1970's prices he could have done BOTH, and still had cash left over.

I'm always aware that the bulk of the Tornadoes team (all but Edwards, herriot, and Gordon, IIRC) were at ER before ET arrived. Either the products of the Colts and reserves, or Willie Mac's signings.