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Jones28
25-08-2010, 09:46 PM
Me and my missus favourite sexual position is the called the "Celtic in Europe"...Neither of us know what we're doing there, there's no passion, no communitcation and we never make it past the first stage. There's horrible dribbling and there are never clean sheets. Its over far too quickly and when it does end i know it'll be at least another year before it happens again.
HibbyAndy
25-08-2010, 09:51 PM
Facebook.


Or what i call Wasterbook.
3pm
25-08-2010, 10:21 PM
Man finds lamp. Genie appears.

'I can grant you a wish' says the genie.

'I want to live forever' says the man.

'I can't grant that type of wish' says the genie.

'I want to live until Hearts build a new main stand' says the man

'What have I just *****in told you' shouts the genie.
jgl07
25-08-2010, 10:36 PM
"Have you been to see anything at the Festival?"

"Yes I went to see Ibsen."

"OK, was it the Dollshouse or Hedda Gabler?"

"No it was 'Ibs n'Rangers at Easter Road!"

I'll get my coat.
Kaiser_Sauzee
25-08-2010, 10:53 PM
I saw my gran for the last time at the weekend. She isn't ill or anything, just a terrible bore.
DCI Gene Hunt
26-08-2010, 07:37 AM
Me and my missus favourite sexual position is the called the "Celtic in Europe"...Neither of us know what we're doing there, there's no passion, no communitcation and we never make it past the first stage. There's horrible dribbling and there are never clean sheets. Its over far too quickly and when it does end i know it'll be at least another year before it happens again.

There's one called "The Plumber". You sit in all day and no-one cums... :tee hee:

G
NadeAteMyLunch!
26-08-2010, 09:21 AM
Paddy says to Mick "Ive been taking a lot of steroids and I seem to have grown an extra c0ck!!!"
"Anabolic?" replies Mick...
"No just a c0ck!!!...

Yep, will get my coat...
Gettin' Auld
26-08-2010, 10:24 AM
An elderly gentleman went to the local chemist shop and asked for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good sir."

The elderly gentleman said "That's all right, I'm over 80 years old so i don't need them for sex.




I just want it to stick out far enough that I don't piss on my shoes".