Footie Joke's

[Kevvy1875]

Q. What's the difference between a Hedgehog and Tynecastle Stadium?

A. A hedgehog is full of pricks on the outside.



Sorry, on holiday and bored out my skull, anyone else got any good ones:greengrin

[Tricla]

Hertz

[Hibs90]

To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on;" **** off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "**** her up the arse."

Blackpool are 500/1 to win the Premier League next year.
Which means if you put just £20 on them at the start of the season, you will lose £20.

Man United have signed a new striker from Nigeria.
On his first day of training, Fergie picked up the ball and said 'BALL' then pointed at the goal and said 'Goal. Then he demonstrated a kicking motion and said 'Kick' understand, 'Kick ball, goal, GOOOOOAAAALLL!'
Eventually the young African plucks up courage to say "Excuse me Mr Ferguson but I speak very good English", to which Fergie replies ' Sit down son, I'm talking to Berbatov.'

I bumped into a man crying uncontrollably outside a department store in Liverpool yesterday, and all he could go on about was how he hates this time of year, dressing up in a ridiculous red outfit and embarrassing himself in front of thousands of people.
I said, "Look, Mr.Gerrard, you chose to play for Liverpool."


What's nine inches long and dangles in front of a ****?
Jim Jeffries tie

[Wull]

the reason so many English chicks went to follow their team to SA for world cup was they were told at the games they could blow a "zulufella" ::greengrin

[blairwallace]

BREAKING NEWS!
Police have reported that tynecastle stadium trophy room was broken into last night, stealing everything!
the police are looking for a man with a large maroon carpet.