Why does Mark Lawrenson detest life, the world, the universe and the stars so much?

[lyonhibs]

This has been bothering me for a while, having been subjected to the BBC panel of "expert" pundits (foreign pundits excluded). Shearer, Hansen and all others are, to one degree or another, either bland, stupid or patronising. However, I get the impression they are kind of happy with their lot, and probably go home, have a beer then bang the wife like most ordinary folk.

But Lawrenson on the other hand really worries me - and I'm only half joking. He just seems so pissed off and condescending about nearly everyone - the referees, the ball, the fans daring to do a Mexican wave during a dull Brazil game - "muppets" apparently. He just sounds like he really isn't enjoying being in the commentary box, as if the strenous task of watching the World cup is a genuine drudgery for him.

Was he beaten as a kid? Does his missus keep him locked in a gimp cage at home? Has he got massive gambling debts?

I mean there must be some REASON he is such an absolute misery guts all the time, about everybody and everything??

Or is he just a bitter, moany, "I wasn't good enough for England and I'm still not over it", nauseating ********??

GGTTH

[Chuckie]

He is a giant swollen vagina. :agree:

[Gus]

This has been bothering me for a while, having been subjected to the BBC panel of "expert" pundits (foreign pundits excluded). Shearer, Hansen and all others are, to one degree or another, either bland, stupid or patronising. However, I get the impression they are kind of happy with their lot, and probably go home, have a beer then bang the wife like most ordinary folk.

But Lawrenson on the other hand really worries me - and I'm only half joking. He just seems so pissed off and condescending about nearly everyone - the referees, the ball, the fans daring to do a Mexican wave during a dull Brazil game - "muppets" apparently. He just sounds like he really isn't enjoying being in the commentary box, as if the strenous task of watching the World cup is a genuine drudgery for him.

Was he beaten as a kid? Does his missus keep him locked in a gimp cage at home? Has he got massive gambling debts?

I mean there must be some REASON he is such an absolute misery guts all the time, about everybody and everything??

Or is he just a bitter, moany, "I wasn't good enough for England and I'm still not over it", nauseating ********??

GGTTH

I was gonna do the same thread.........about you. Minus going home and banging the wife:greengrin

[MacBean]

he is an big floppy donkey coq

i hate the man and everything that comes out of his mouth:grr::bye:

[sh00byd00]

Whilst i agree with 99.9999% of your post, he opted to play for Ireland at a very young age and probably would have made the England team had he waited a little bit longer. He was actually a very good footballer.

[ekhibee]

He is a giant swollen vagina. :agree:
Yep, that about sums him up.

[(((Fergus)))]

Good question. There's a lot about his cynical and condescending tone that reminds me of certain fans' websites - which is why we have a problem with him: it's like listening to ourselves.

[Saorsa]

This has been bothering me for a while, having been subjected to the BBC panel of "expert" pundits (foreign pundits excluded). Shearer, Hansen and all others are, to one degree or another, either bland, stupid or patronising. However, I get the impression they are kind of happy with their lot, and probably go home, have a beer then bang the wife like most ordinary folk.

But Lawrenson on the other hand really worries me - and I'm only half joking. He just seems so pissed off and condescending about nearly everyone - the referees, the ball, the fans daring to do a Mexican wave during a dull Brazil game - "muppets" apparently. He just sounds like he really isn't enjoying being in the commentary box, as if the strenous task of watching the World cup is a genuine drudgery for him.

Was he beaten as a kid? Does his missus keep him locked in a gimp cage at home? Has he got massive gambling debts?

I mean there must be some REASON he is such an absolute misery guts all the time, about everybody and everything??

Or is he just a bitter, moany, "I wasn't good enough for England and I'm still not over it", nauseating ********??

GGTTHI cannae think of anybody else that enjoys him being in the commentary box either, so he should do himself and everybody else a favour and f*** off out of it..... twat

[AgentDaleCooper]

Good question. There's a lot about his cynical and condescending tone that reminds me of certain fans' websites - which is why we have a problem with him: it's like listening to ourselves.

LTYF

:wink:

(are we still saying that?)

[Kevvy1875]

Man...Lawrenson makes me want to poke my ear drums out. I reckon they only brought Linekar, Shearer and co. along to take turns on suicide watch for the creep.


He is a disgrace to the tache'

[MWHIBBIES]

When he said captivilla is the only player in the starting 11 that does not play for real madrid or barca because he is not good enough i nearly turned the tv off and chucked it out the window.

He is so cynical for no reason what so ever and should never ever commentate again

[iwasthere1972]

When he said captivilla is the only player in the starting 11 that does not play for real madrid or barca because he is not good enough i nearly turned the tv off and chucked it out the window.

He is so cynical for no reason what so ever and should never ever commentate again

I heard that too but coming from Mark Lawrenson I wasn't surprised.

The BBC should do the proper thing (not just for that comment but for his negative input throughout the World Cup) and sack him.

Waste of space. Oxygen could be put to better use.

[SmokieJoe]

he is merely reciprocating the the feeling towards himself, he is a mirror on his own life, detestable man that he is.

[hibsboy90]

When he said captivilla is the only player in the starting 11 that does not play for real madrid or barca because he is not good enough i nearly turned the tv off and chucked it out the window.

He is so cynical for no reason what so ever and should never ever commentate again
Capdevilla was a rarity in the Spanish side as he doesnt play for RM or FCB, and he's the odd one out, because he's rubbish.

Come on mark, whats that all about.

His other one was bemoaning the German national team after the game against England, that they had two polish strikers not german. With words to the effect that they shouldnt even be playing for the germans anyway. Coming from the Englishman who played for Ireland.

Third one, he looked unprofessional pre match when he should have been in a suit like the rest of the 'crew'.

[Cocaine&Caviar]

Not as bad as Mick McCarthy :grr:

[EdinburghLivi]

Just a greeting faced git. I absolutely hate him.

[SmokieJoe]

Not as bad as Mick McCarthy :grr:

McCarthy might be a drole yorkshire puddin, but he has played in many leagues, and managed a few clubs, the man talks like a manager ( have not heard him lately) and lets face it. the man in question bought Fletch from burnley, to the tune of how much to us? he cant be that bad a judge can he?

[Pete]

I just think he was having a bad night....and it was obvious that there was needle between him and the commentator. It was bordering on embarrassing.

He was in the liverpool team in the seventies and has seen it all so as far as I'm concerned I trust his opinion over the majority of other co-commentators and pundits.

He might be a bit moody and a bit sarcastic at times but his delivery is unique, he knows what he's talking about and he usually always calls the big incidents correctly.

[Diclonius]

Good question. There's a lot about his cynical and condescending tone that reminds me of certain fans' websites - which is why we have a problem with him: it's like listening to ourselves.

We represent the general public. A forum is just that - for opinions. You're always going to get people who want to have a wee bit of a moan, or just be plain childish. That's okay.

Mark Lawrenson represents national television. His constant derisory tone is not something you would expect anyone in that position to make, and it stinks of the man not appreciating what he's got. Even if there is a valid reason, this man's sullen attitude is watched by millions and it's a ridiculously petty and off putting.

There is no comparision.

[CB_NO3]

I remember watching a game a few years ago in the Euros, might have been Germany v Poland but I could he wrong. Anyway the commentator said something during the game and Mark Lawrenson turned round and replied "yeah yeah, whatever". The guy is a tit.

[lyonhibs]

My favourite was - after 30 seconds remember - "well this is the real final - no disrespect to Holland"

What the ****??!!??

[lapsedhibee]

Lawrenson not my cup of tea either - but prefer him to Shearer, who never says anything you could object to because he never says anything at all.

Here's the alternative view. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup-2010/7873185/World-Cup-2010-BBCs-Mark-Lawrenson-proves-pick-of-the-pundits.html)

[HIBERNIAN-0762]

I remember reading a few years ago that he is a male chauvinist and does not do one stroke of work at home, I suspect he is missing his wife putting his clothes on and brushing his teeth in the morning

Prime fud...fact

:agree:

[lapsedhibee]

I remember reading a few years ago that he is a male chauvinist and does not do one stroke of work at home, I suspect he is missing his wife putting his clothes on and brushing his teeth in the morning

Lawro is on TV quite a lot but I don't think he's married to one. :wink:

[blackpoolhibs]

He's an erse, someone i'd have no problem smacking over head with a golf club, until the club broke.

[Steve-O]

My favourite was - after 30 seconds remember - "well this is the real final - no disrespect to Holland"

What the ****??!!??

What a ridiculous statement.

[heretoday]

It's certainly not right that such a downbeat, uninspiring figure should be commenting on, and spoiling, a spectacle like the WC. He sounds like he doesn't want to be there. How have we come to this?

It's only football, I suppose and doesn't really matter but hang on.....it DOES matter. This is our national game and young folk tuning in are getting the wrong message about the game.

In olden times we had messrs Coleman, Davies, Weeks etc and they were daft enthusiasts all. It was easy to take the mick out of them but you couldn't deny they were upbeat at all times.

How do you connect with someone like "Lauro" (do his mates really call him that or is it BBC spin?). It's like being stuck next to a bore on a long flight.

For what it's worth I've written to the BBC complaining about their WC coverage. Big deal!

[lyonhibs]

What a ridiculous statement.

He did say that, I can assure you (I assume you get a different - better?? - commentary team over in NZ) Just another feather in his cap though - patronising, to sit nicely along side sarcastic, myopic, dull and depressing.

[jdships]

I just think he was having a bad night....and it was obvious that there was needle between him and the commentator. It was bordering on embarrassing.

He was in the liverpool team in the seventies and has seen it all so as far as I'm concerned I trust his opinion over the majority of other co-commentators and pundits.

He might be a bit moody and a bit sarcastic at times but his delivery is unique, he knows what he's talking about and he usually always calls the big incidents correctly.


Agree with what you say and would add that pound for pound BBC have provided better coverage than ITV
My pet hate is Adrian Childs - as an "anchor man" he is rubbish

[Steve-O]

He did say that, I can assure you (I assume you get a different - better?? - commentary team over in NZ) Just another feather in his cap though - patronising, to sit nicely along side sarcastic, myopic, dull and depressing.

We get one commentator only for all the games! Some English guy but not too bad and actually objective. None of this 'trying to make a name for himself' stuff that seems to be going on in the UK, just a decent commentator, without even having a sidekick to work off.

[lyonhibs]

We get one commentator only for all the games! Some English guy but not too bad and actually objective. None of this 'trying to make a name for himself' stuff that seems to be going on in the UK, just a decent commentator, without even having a sidekick to work off.

Sounds like audio heaven compared to the Dumb and Dumber routine we get most of the time over here :greengrin

I just wasn't sure whether you thought my post was a ridiculous statement, or Lawro's statement in itself was. :greengrin

[SaulGoodman]

The part that bothers me is when the games aren't the best, The "pundits" are sitting talking about how boring the games are, granted some games have been pull out your hair boring, however these people are being paid to go to south Africa, get to go to beautiful stadiums and get to visit some stunning surroundings. They are being paid to do stuff we would pay a lot off money to do. Surely they could do they're best to be entertaining and not sound completely depressed?

[rainman]

We get one commentator only for all the games! Some English guy but not too bad and actually objective. None of this 'trying to make a name for himself' stuff that seems to be going on in the UK, just a decent commentator, without even having a sidekick to work off.

I've had to listen to Craig "Fozzy" Forster all world cup.

A tw@t of a man.

[NORTHERNHIBBY]

Any man that goes to the barbers with a picture of a thatched cottage and says cut my like that, has to be suspect.

I don't mind him to be honest. What annoys me really though, is the cult of the expert and the closed shop of the ex-player mafiosi. For MOTD, the boy Line-aker is the host, not the expert. That bit I get. He has to be there every week. But are Hansen, Dixon and Shearer the only ex-players ever allowed on? Don't get that at all.

[Stevie Reid]

We get one commentator only for all the games! Some English guy but not too bad and actually objective. None of this 'trying to make a name for himself' stuff that seems to be going on in the UK, just a decent commentator, without even having a sidekick to work off.

I quite like Jim Beglin as a co-commentator, but one of the things I enjoyed most about Tuesday's game was the fact that Clive Tyldsley was commentating on his own, and the game was devoid of the crigneworthy 'humourous' vignettes, or passages of chat about England, that the two commentators seem to feel obliged to have during quiter moments in the game.

Andy Gray and some of the Sky co-commentators are great - these guys give you genuine insight into the game, identify things that you might not be able to see for yourself, and outline what will be going through the minds of players at various point in the game. Them aside though, there are very few who hit the mark - many fall into the trap of just repeating what we've not only just seen for ourselves, but what has just been described to us by the commentator, which is really an insult to the intelligence.

As for Lawrenson, he's just an embarrassment in so many ways - he seems to just blurt things out (often seeming prejudiced in one way or another), instead of making thoughtful and measured comments on the game, like he's paid to do. That Des Lynam article is unbelievably fawning, and way off the mark.

[basehibby]

I hate Lawrenson with a passion - he is nothing but a miserable condescending twat and I feel he brings nothing but irritation and annoyance to the table of football broadcasting - I know he played football at a good level but so did many others and I find it very hard to believe that none could do better than this pompous self-important sphincter.

[marinello59]

Here's a strange fact about Lawrenson. During the early eighties the Workers Revolutionary Party produced their own newspaper, Newsline. I am pretty sure it was a daily for a while but it was certainly a weekly. Their regular football columnist was Mark Lawrenson. Has he revealed an affection for Trotskyist left wing politics recently? Or is he just about as welcome as a dose of the trots?

[Andy74]

Lawro is just struggling with the fact that he has never publically come out.

[delbert]

The pundits in general have been total pants. Shearer during the group stages saying 'we dont know much about either team' referring to the Slovenia v Algeria match in Englands group = 'I'm getting paid a lot of money for being here, but I could'nt be @rsed doing any actual homework on either of these teams to justify my dosh' Then an utter classic from Southgate last evening in the Uruguay v Holand match stating that ' By the letter of the law, he was offside' referring to the fact that a players foot was marginally in front of another players foot, thereby demonstrating once and for all the average manager/player/pundits knowledge of the laws of the game as being precisely hee-haw. This guy earns a living from spouting this guff, and the problem is, many watching and listening actually believe them, total bawbags the lot of them, although to be fair absolute comedy gold.

[Stevie Reid]

The pundits in general have been total pants. Shearer during the group stages saying 'we dont know much about either team' referring to the Slovenia v Algeria match in Englands group = 'I'm getting paid a lot of money for being here, but I could'nt be @rsed doing any actual homework on either of these teams to justify my dosh' Then an utter classic from Southgate last evening in the Uruguay v Holand match stating that ' By the letter of the law, he was offside' referring to the fact that a players foot was marginally in front of another players foot, thereby demonstrating once and for all the average manager/player/pundits knowledge of the laws of the game as being precisely hee-haw. This guy earns a living from spouting this guff, and the problem is, many watching and listening actually believe them, total bawbags the lot of them, although to be fair absolute comedy gold.

I agree with much of what you say but Southgate's comment is correct, linesmen are told to flag for offside if they can see any part of an attackers body in front of the defender, if the pair are in line - it gives them more leeway on tight decisions.

[sh00byd00]

The pundits in general have been total pants. Shearer during the group stages saying 'we dont know much about either team' referring to the Slovenia v Algeria match in Englands group = 'I'm getting paid a lot of money for being here, but I could'nt be @rsed doing any actual homework on either of these teams to justify my dosh'

I agree. The worst of it is, it's our money he's using. I don't mind ITV because lets face it, they've always been *****, but at least they're self funded.

Every single UK pundit seems to be out their depth if they're not talking about Kaka, Messi or Ronaldo.

Funnily enough, here's an excellent article on this very subject -

http://iainmacintosh.wordpress.com/2010/07/07/the-bbc-now-as-useless-as-itv/

[Phil D. Rolls]

If I that Lawrenson comes anywhere near my wife and kids I swear I'll do *****in time!!!!!

(After I've got a matey photo to take down the pub, of course.)

[blackpoolhibs]

If I that Lawrenson comes anywhere near my wife and kids I swear I'll do *****in time!!!!!

(After I've got a matey photo to take down the pub, of course.)

Every time. :faf::faf::faf:

[Phil MaGlass]

Wheres a link to complain to the BBC? the guys a complete coq and he can take brainless Shearer with him.
Thank god I was able to watch it on Dutch or German TV and didnt have to listen to their inane f,n ramblings all day, mibbe we should put this on other supporters boards and get more to complain?

[iwasthere1972]

Wheres a link to complain to the BBC? the guys a complete coq and he can take brainless Shearer with him.
Thank god I was able to watch it on Dutch or German TV and didnt have to listen to their inane f,n ramblings all day, mibbe we should put this on other supporters boards and get more to complain?

Maybe BBC Alba should be sold the rights to all future England matches.

At least I can agree with the occasional word I understand.

[Dashing Bob S]

Yes, he's rather strange.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PhZMzEf2uw

[Long suffering]

This has been bothering me for a while, having been subjected to the BBC panel of "expert" pundits (foreign pundits excluded). Shearer, Hansen and all others are, to one degree or another, either bland, stupid or patronising. However, I get the impression they are kind of happy with their lot, and probably go home, have a beer then bang the wife like most ordinary folk.

But Lawrenson on the other hand really worries me - and I'm only half joking. He just seems so pissed off and condescending about nearly everyone - the referees, the ball, the fans daring to do a Mexican wave during a dull Brazil game - "muppets" apparently. He just sounds like he really isn't enjoying being in the commentary box, as if the strenous task of watching the World cup is a genuine drudgery for him.

Was he beaten as a kid? Does his missus keep him locked in a gimp cage at home? Has he got massive gambling debts?

I mean there must be some REASON he is such an absolute misery guts all the time, about everybody and everything??

Or is he just a bitter, moany, "I wasn't good enough for England and I'm still not over it", nauseating ********??

GGTTH

could not agree more, I have been thinking this for a while myself. There is a condescending line that he always trotts out as well when England are playing a relatively small nation

[iwasthere1972]

Yes, he's rather strange.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PhZMzEf2uw

or


http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=ZQriRjxNKqg&feature=fvw

[Caversham Green]

I agree with much of what you say but Southgate's comment is correct, linesmen are told to flag for offside if they can see any part of an attackers body in front of the defender, if the pair are in line - it gives them more leeway on tight decisions.

:agree: It was Townsend that made a mess of it - he said something like "I thought the player was miles offside, but the linesman's done a a great job by not flagging because he was only marginally off".

[Iggy Pope]

He's an erse, someone i'd have no problem smacking over head with a golf club, until the club broke.

I would fight you for the club.

Not in a homophobic way obvouosly, whether he is good with colours or not
:duck:

[Chuckie]

I hate Lawrenson with a passion - he is nothing but a miserable condescending twat and I feel he brings nothing but irritation and annoyance to the table of football broadcasting - I know he played football at a good level but so did many others and I find it very hard to believe that none could do better than this pompous self-important sphincter.

:top marks for the use of the word sphincter...

I love that word.

Hehehehehehehe

[delbert]

Sorry mate from Post #40 but you are 100% wrong, offside is not judged on any part of the body, it's the torso which as the main part of the body, is what the assistant referee uses to make his judgement call, whoever told you and Mr. Southgate otherwise is, i'm afraid, incorrect

[Hibs On Tour]

Lawro is just struggling with the fact that he has never publically come out.

110% :agree:

Elton John must be watching the WC going "**** me, how bent is he?" - the old gaydar goes off the scale whenever ML is on the box. Last night it was along the lines of 'haven't the Spanish got lovely twinkly toes' or something like that. His commentaries must be an absolute smash at Michael Barrymore's pool parties! :greengrin

[Phil D. Rolls]

What I don't get is that if the commentators have nothing to talk about, they don't just share round a nice chocolate cake. Modern life is rubbish.

[Phil D. Rolls]

"No disrespect to the Dutch but this is the real final".

How much more disrespectful can you get to the real World Cup finalists? "No disrespect to the Dutch but I'm sure both these teams would rather be playing England in the final, than a wee team of cheese eaters who lasted 5 days before they handed their bicycles over to the Bosch, who as any fule kno, are really the same place. In fact, I honestly don't know how they are allowed to play as seperate teams. No, the final should only be for big countries who have won it at least once. No disrespect to the Dutch though, they make lovely coffee, and I'm fond of the old bit of Dutch Courage myself, although I actually prefer Watneys, have I taken this too far, I really didn't mean any disrepect. Actually, my wife's left me, and I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really think it is sooooooooooooo unfair that we aren't in the final ---- you talking to me? You talkin to me? I can't see anyone else in the room, so you must be talking to me".