Comedy Gold

[Fantic]

Dear Supporters,

It has been an interesting time since coming to the club five years ago, and I want to thank you for your fantastic support.

My best memory since coming to Hearts was the Cup victory over Gretna - a lot of emotions and fantastic achievement.

One other particular victory I enjoyed very much for the football team was a game we won against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007. There was no better feeling to see a young ambitious team leaving Celtic behind.

During the five years I have enjoyed seeing the development and successful transfers of players who have benefited from Hearts to further their careers at top clubs, such as Craig Gordon, Paul Hartley, Roman Bednar, Rudi Skacel and Christophe Berra. The transfers have given the club important input for further development.

Moving forward we hope that we will soon be able to accommodate our supporters in the new stand - this is a project we are determined to complete and bring new, more enjoyable facilities to supporters.

We hope to continue the development of all areas of the club so we grow stronger and stronger in order to achieve more trophy moments, regardless of what anyone says or does.

It is also good news that Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who is truly professional and cares about the club. He cares about the players and recognises the importance of the development of young players.

There are so many potential stars in the team that it is very difficult to name any in particular. Most of the people deserve to be in the team and to become stars! There are a few people perhaps that require or deserve the recognition: Andrew Driver, Lee Wallace, Eggert Jonsson, both Thomsons (Jason and Craig), Arvydas Novikovas, David Templeton, and Scott Robinson. I hope to name many more soon.

There is always an opportunity to strengthen the team in the summer transfer window. This time we will be looking to bring more patriot or club minded than commercially minded players, those who want to play and contribute to the development of the club and themselves - not those who are mercenaries. The challenge for the next transfer window is to find the right players to help the club move forward and we will be progressing this work.

Thank you once again for your unstinting loyalty and support.

Vladimir Romanov


:faf:
:faf:

[monktonharp]

astonishing:jamboak:

[HibeeMcGinn1]

****ing mental

[Saorsa]

:rotflmao:

[poolman]

Oh dear, lots of Yam heads back in "BELIEVE" mode :bitchy:

Will they ever learn :bye:

http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/index.php?/topic/71101-open-letter-from-vladimir-merged-threads/

[Hibby 2005]

Just the usual PR bull**** you get from any organisation.

[Pete]

Loyalist Unstintings!

...what's new?

[Archie70]

Hows is it the old saying goes-

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me everytime the season tickets are on sale and I must be a Yam!

[IWasThere2016]

:faf: One for the archives Mikey! :thumbsup:

[hibee_nation]

Just the usual PR bull**** you get from any organisation.

No it's not. Try your best to downplay it all you want. :jamboak:

[Hibby 2005]

Have you listened to Yogi's spin of late?

[lyonhibs]

Simply fantastic.

As a reatcion to all thos threatening and eloquent open letters JKB have "released" over the past 2 years, Vlad "The Manipulator" Romanov has decided to come up with a new line in "official Hertz site bull*****".

That'll keep them happy until the next time the distinct aroma of coffee dares to waft near Gorgie Road - aka 2013, by which time it will most likely be 2 years too late!!! :faf::faf::faf:

[AgentDaleCooper]

Have you listened to Yogi's spin of late?

different type of spin. yogi's hasn't been that complicated, just repeating cliches.

romanov is trying to invent webs of conspiracies. he's not just thick, he's actually mental. and ****ing funny :thumbsup::faf::faf::thumbsup:

[Dunbar Hibee]

Have you listened to Yogi's spin of late?

LTYF :wink:

[bighairyfaeleith]

I am surprised that he sent it to Hibs.net tho.

re read it, still can't find the "comedy gold" bit.

really:confused:

One of the funniest things I have read in a long time:greengrin

[Kaiser1962]

what a crock of ****. If those fuds swallow all this cack then there is truly no hope.

[Steve20]

Off course they will believe it. I have never known a more stupid bunch of supporters in my life.

If they weren't complete ****, I might feel sorry for them.

[One Day Soon]

Statements such as this from Mad King Bambo invariably herald some pretty bad news or chaotic event for the deluded ones.

My money is on the transfer of the title deeds for the PBS to some non Edinburgh based holding company. Interesting really, the whole reason in the first place for bringing the Mad one in was to dump Robinson because of his intention to sell Tynecastle to clear their debt. Now they are about to give the ownership of Tynecastle away and still be lumbered with higher debt than they had with Robinson. They really don't do irony do they?

All that pain to end up worse off. They don't own their club, they won't own their stadium and they've lost their heritage.

[GlesgaeHibby]

Off course they will believe it. I have never known a more stupid bunch of supporters in my life.

If they weren't complete ****, I might feel sorry for them.

:agree: :top marks

There's only one of them on the Kickback thread that has the sense to see that for what it is - Bull****!

Tick, tock.

[One Day Soon]

:agree: :top marks

There's only one of them on the Kickback thread that has the sense to see that for what it is - Bull****!

Tick, tock.

And he's probably one of us.

[Hibstrooper]

I'm sorry but I fail to spot the laugh out loud moments in it with perhaps the exception of the final sentence. Are we laughing more at the fact he's even came out with this; then fair enough.

Unfortunately I think the yams will improve in the summer as despite Jeffries being a FJB he's a good manager. I do however think we will also improve so bring them on I say and bring on another £50 from my yam mate when we finish above them!

[Peevemor]

I'm sorry but I fail to spot the laugh out loud moments in it with perhaps the exception of the final sentence. Are we laughing more at the fact he's even came out with this; then fair enough.

Unfortunately I think the yams will improve in the summer as despite Jeffries being a FJB he's a good manager. I do however think we will also improve so bring them on I say and bring on another £50 from my ham mate when we finish above them!

:agree:

[Hibstrooper]

:agree:
Then fair enough :greengrin

[Sprouleflyer]

[QUOTE=Fantic;2422129]


One other particular victory I enjoyed very much for the football team was a game we won against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007. There was no better feeling to see a young ambitious team leaving Celtic behind.


Moving forward we hope that we will soon be able to accommodate our supporters in the new stand - this is a project we are determined to complete and bring new, more enjoyable facilities to supporters.


It is also good news that Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who is truly professional and cares about the club. He cares about the players and recognises the importance of the development of young players.



Had Celtic not already won the league by then, how did Hearts leave them behind?

Good luck to them with their new stand, if they don’t get it started pretty soon they will miss out on the unbelievable prices that build companies are prepared to offer just to get work in, who knows maybe they could get their £51M stand for a fraction of the original cost….now how is that planning permission going?

Looks like the policy will be youth, youth and youth, which is no bad thing, however as we know only to well, one week they can be brilliant and the next utter tosh.

I think Hearts fans will have to realise that for the foreseeable future, mid table and fighting for a top 6 place is where they will be.

[matty_f]

[QUOTE=Fantic;2422129]


One other particular victory I enjoyed very much for the football team was a game we won against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007. There was no better feeling to see a young ambitious team leaving Celtic behind.


Moving forward we hope that we will soon be able to accommodate our supporters in the new stand - this is a project we are determined to complete and bring new, more enjoyable facilities to supporters.


It is also good news that Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who is truly professional and cares about the club. He cares about the players and recognises the importance of the development of young players.



Had Celtic not already won the league by then, how did Hearts leave them behind?

Good luck to them with their new stand, if they don’t get it started pretty soon they will miss out on the unbelievable prices that build companies are prepared to offer just to get work in, who knows maybe they could get their £51M stand for a fraction of the original cost….now how is that planning permission going?

Looks like the policy will be youth, youth and youth, which is no bad thing, however as we know only to well, one week they can be brilliant and the next utter tosh.

I think Hearts fans will have to realise that for the foreseeable future, mid table and fighting for a top 6 place is where they will be.


That's big team thinking - 2 highlights in 5 years, winning on penalties against the now defunct Gretna, and beating a Celtc team who didn't give a toss.

Well worth the £40m debt and 5 years of merciless pish taking.

[Bostonhibby]

I really need to get a life, but how can you resist having a go at this sort of stuff.........


Dear Subservients,

For me It has been a lucrative and interest bearing time Since hijacking your club five years ago (apr 23% - disclaimer :- remember the return on my investment can rise, whilst the value of my club will fall).

I want to thank you for your unstinting indifference, without which everything I have achieved to date would not have been possible, and thank you also for the money.

My best memory since coming to Hearts was the Cup victory over the mighty Gretna - a lot of emotions and fantastic achievement. Without it I doubt I could have kept even the slightly sceptical few on side for so long. I think this victory eclipsed all subsequent Champions League finals, especially the 2008 one which I decided to subtly reverse out of my promise on by declining to qualify in the interests of the club - you need a stadium?.

One other victory I enjoyed very much for the football team was a game we won against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007.

I read about it in the Uzbhekistan Farmers Weekly whilst I was scouting for new players for my team to sell on in the West - There is no better feeling than to see both our young ambitious team members momentarily increasing their value.

When I am next over I will get whoever my manager is at the time to point out which ones they are and if I haven’t already sold them, I will personally present them with one of my medals before trying to sell them.

I am only sorry I couldn’t be there to up the management fee I charge you for them and that the transfer window wasn’t open. Since then I think it is fair to say that whilst I have instructed you all that it has been continued success ( I own a bank, we will win the Champions league, obliterate the Old Firm and turn the west of Edinburgh into a 400,000 seater stadium with an equal size hotel) I am beginning to detect that one or two of you might be having doubts.
Hopefully this personal missive will reassure you all – remember my club is now caught in the middle of a worldwide recession, every club is in the same mess – your obedience and cash is crucial to me, I have no wish to realise the debt or foreclose any of the debts that my bank happen to own that are secured 100% against my football team assets (note to secretary – Jim – check if this one is the football one or the basketball one).

During the five years I have enjoyed seeing the development and successful transfers of players who have benefited from Hearts to further their careers at top clubs, such as Craig Gordon, Paul Hartley, Roman Bednar, Rudi Skacel and Christophe Berra. The transfers have given the club important input for further development. Note from BH – I just can’t bring myself to alter this classic example of sheer front on the mans part – why do they put up with it.

Moving forward (?) I do hope I will be able to fob you off with tales of a new STAND, we will begin brainwashing to make you forget about the Supermegastadiumhotel at the turnstiles at the next home game - this is a project we are unlikely to complete but for an as yet undefined future reason, as soon as I think of one you will be the first to know.

We will of course bring out the cardboard boxes full of drawings of stadiums, my 4 year old grandchild has designed some that will be lodged with the council, but we are a community club so the fans and players will also be asked to participate. My good friend David Copperfield will host the event.

We hope to continue the development of all areas of the club so we grow stronger and stronger in order to achieve more trophy moments, regardless of what anyone says or does.
I need you to believe now as never before, frankly I only thought I would get away with a year, but Companies House have been as understanding as you all have.
My message to you all, now more than ever must be for you all to remember that WORDS SPEAK LOUDER THAN ACTIONS

It is also good news for me that Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who realises exactly how it is and seems unwilling to challenge, complain or resign when I issue a footballing decree.

Who knows what might have been had we not coincidentally been in the same cubicle at Burtons trying to squeeze into a pair of 32R strides. He cares about the money and recognises that we will duff him up if he steps out of line. At least that’s what Igor my faithful football “Director” tells me.

There are too many potential stars in the team that it is very difficult to name any in particular – some of the names are very long and difficult to pronounce, and I cannot be expected to know everyone, I just select the names randomly before faxing them through. Because there are so many I expect that in the interest of the club I will be selling some soon. Do not worry, the money will continue to be held on deposit in Lithuania where returns continue to be advantageous.

Most of the people deserve to be in the team and to become stars!
There are a few people perhaps that require or deserve the recognition: Andrew Driver, Lee Wallace, Eggert Jonsson, both Thomsons (Jason and Craig – the Thompson twins – I googled them and they are apparently a hugely successful “pop” band and as there are actually 3 members the value must be higher), Arvydas Novikovas, David Templeton, and Scott Robinson. I hope to name many more soon but Ryanairs ticket prices have gone up. To show I mean business and because it worked before, to boost season tickets sales I will just leave you with these names, Henry, Messi, Gerrard etc........................ (note to Geoffrey James – are any of these the guy from Brechin you were on about? If so how much will we get for him?)

There is always an opportunity to strengthen the team and simultaneously delude you in the summer transfer window.

This time we will be looking to bring in cheaper but also simple minded players, those who want to play as ordered and be sold to who I want to when I want to thus contributing to the charges the bank not unreasonably has to make. Not those who are mercenaries, even though it was me who signed them exactly in line with my initial “vision” for my club.

Thank you once again for bending over, may the penny never drop.

Vladimir Romanov

[Hibs90]

:faf:

[PeeJay]

Surely this is a leftover from April the 1st?? Quite good spoof actually :faf: ... I mean this cannot possibly be genuine...:confused: ... surely not?

[HIBERNIAN-0762]

So its Mister Romanov now is it? :faf: what a ****ing pathetic bunch of deluded sheep they really are, no words can describe the hoots of laughter in my house after my family read this, sublime comedy of the highest order

:top marks

[johnrebus]

Till Tesco Tynecastle is actually there before their eyes at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, they will continue to believe any old ***** that Mr Romanov lays before thier eyes.

You could not make this up.

:yawn:

[Judas Iscariot]

Just the usual PR bull**** you get from any organisation.


Have you listened to Yogi's spin of late?

I take it you're a BeLIEver then :jamboak:

[Phil D. Rolls]

Have you listened to Yogi's spin of late?


LTYF :wink:

:hmmm: I think we should at least open a window.

[WestEndHibee]

otherwise reads as:

Dear so-called "supporters"

It has been a soul-destroying time since coming to the club five years ago, though I want to thank you for your fantastic stupidity and blindness when i took over the club.

My one good memory since coming to Hearts was the Cup victory over Gretna - with the win bonuses i gave to the players this fantastic achievement only put the club a further 10 million in debt.

The other game we won was against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007. There was no better feeling to see my money finally account for more than one open play goal in a single game.
During the five years I have not enjoyed seeing the mutinies followed by the successful escape of players who have benefited from my pockets only to flee to pastures new, such as Craig Gordon, Paul Hartley, Roman Bednar, Rudi Skacel and Christophe Berra. The transfers have ensured that our remaining players sometimes get paid!

At night we dream that we will one day be able to house all 400,000 of our "supporters" in our super duper galactic hotel/stand/casino/disney land - this is a project we are determined never to shut up about as long as Easter Road is still standing.
We hope to continue the implosion of all areas of the club so we grow weaker and weaker in order to achieve asset stripping, regardless of what anyone says or does.

It is good news that fat Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who is truly a half-wit and has no cares about the club. He knows at least three of the player's names and recognises one more than that!

There are so many crap players in the squad that it is very difficult to name any that have achieved anything in particular. Most of them deserve to be playing in the first division and to be on much lower wages! There are a few people perhaps that i can name who have scored a goal: Andrew Driver, Lee Wallace, Eggert Jonsson, both Thomsons (Jason and Craig), Arvydas Novikovas, David Templeton, and Scott Robinson. I hope to name at least one more before the season ends.

There is always an opportunity to speculate about world cup stars joining the team in the summer transfer window. This time however we will be looking to bring cheaper or more absent minded than skillful players, those who want to play for peanuts and contribute to the inevitable relegation of the club - not those who are ambitious. The challenge for the next transfer window is to find players who are willing to say they play for the club and we will be progressing this work.

Thank you once again for your never failing dog dumb loyalty and "support".

Vladimir Romanov

[Phil D. Rolls]

otherwise reads as:

Dear so-called "supporters"

It has been a soul-destroying time since coming to the club five years ago, though I want to thank you for your fantastic stupidity and blindness when i took over the club.

My one good memory since coming to Hearts was the Cup victory over Gretna - with the win bonuses i gave to the players this fantastic achievement only put the club a further 10 million in debt.

The other game we won was against Celtic 3-1 at Celtic Park on 29th April 2007. There was no better feeling to see my money finally account for more than one open play goal in a single game.
During the five years I have not enjoyed seeing the mutinies followed by the successful escape of players who have benefited from my pockets only to flee to pastures new, such as Craig Gordon, Paul Hartley, Roman Bednar, Rudi Skacel and Christophe Berra. The transfers have ensured that our remaining players sometimes get paid!

At night we dream that we will one day be able to house all 400,000 of our "supporters" in our super duper galactic hotel/stand/casino/disney land - this is a project we are determined never to shut up about as long as Easter Road is still standing.
We hope to continue the implosion of all areas of the club so we grow weaker and weaker in order to achieve asset stripping, regardless of what anyone says or does.

It is good news that fat Jim Jefferies is the manager for at last I am working with someone who is truly a half-wit and has no cares about the club. He knows at least three of the player's names and recognises one more than that!

There are so many crap players in the squad that it is very difficult to name any that have achieved anything in particular. Most of them deserve to be playing in the first division and to be on much lower wages! There are a few people perhaps that i can name who have scored a goal: Andrew Driver, Lee Wallace, Eggert Jonsson, both Thomsons (Jason and Craig), Arvydas Novikovas, David Templeton, and Scott Robinson. I hope to name at least one more before the season ends.

There is always an opportunity to speculate about world cup stars joining the team in the summer transfer window. This time however we will be looking to bring cheaper or more absent minded than skillful players, those who want to play for peanuts and contribute to the inevitable relegation of the club - not those who are ambitious. The challenge for the next transfer window is to find players who are willing to say they play for the club and we will be progressing this work.

Thank you once again for your never failing dog dumb loyalty and "support".

Vladimir Romanov

:top marks

You'd think theyd be more careful what they do with unused drafts. Don't they have a shredder to go with that fax machine?

[woody47]

To be fair to Mr Romanov, he is a classic spin master.
He brings in the FJB Jeffries who coudln't bend over fast enough to please the deluded ones.
He realises that he has no money to bring in "world class stars" so he uses the only thing he has available and that is to use the youth team.
What they all seem to forget is that the only reason Mr Romanov was bringing in "big money" signings was to parade them to the world and sell them on for a profit. This happened a couple of times but in the most he has been well screwed with players on massive wages but out injured or leaving for FA when their contract ends.
Let them have their five minutes then we can carry on with the laughter :greengrin

[Betty Boop]

What is a 'patriot minded player'? :confused:

[Kaiser1962]

Some trumpet is on about mercenaries and weeding "out Nade, Kingston and Goncalves along with any others that don't want to play for the club"

Sorry mate but Goncalves is leaving and it's he who is weeding you muppets out of his life, not you weeding him. And you guys wanted him to stay so much you made him an "unbelievable offer" (copyright Fat Jim Knew) but he rejected it and now its you guys who are weeding him out? I now truly believe Vlad and Hearts were put together on matchmaker.com

You couldn't make it up.

[matty_f]

Still, we can all still laugh at this eh?

No?

Yes.