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New Corrie
01-04-2010, 01:08 PM
I have chartered my special imaginary Boeing 757 which is going to take off from Heathrow packed with odious celebs. Tragedy strikes late in the flight as the airliner plummets into shark infested waters. All celebs amazingly survive the impact but sadly all are munched by the Sharks. Given that I chartered the plane I get to pick two rows of three. All other posters are allowed one row of three to allocate to the celebs that they would most like to see fly on this doomed Boeing! If this flight proves popular enough we might upgrade to a 767 or a 777. The 757 holds 233 passengers, here are the first six now taking their seats.

1A...Robbie Williams (you're getting a window seat ya bassa)
1B...Elton John
3C...Cliff Richard

1D...Mick Hucknall
1E...Craig Hill (nae luck but Harry Hill got stuck in traffic, so your on!)
1F...Michael McIntyre (window seat for you aswell ya unfunny fud)

Now no hanging about in the departure lounge as this baby is boarding, fill yer boots and no footballers please!!!

Welcome aboard and thank you very much for flying with Air Corrie (part of the Star Alliance).

Phil D. Rolls
01-04-2010, 01:41 PM
Katie Price
Piers "Morgan" Moron
Alan Titchmarsh

Adrian Chiles
Danii Minogue
Cheryl "Interesting" Cole

Katie Price (very hard to get rid of)
The Late Jade Goody (RIP)
Kerry "Bi-Polar" Katona

(How many more seats are left? Ah buggrit, just let Katie Price have them all).

lyonhibs
01-04-2010, 01:41 PM
2A Russel Brand - as funny as a bout of piles
2B Piers Morgan - an odious misery lover who faked photos to put soldiers in jeopardy
2C Jordan - awful awful celebrity whore
2D Pete Docherty - junkie fiend who gets away with it cos he can play the guitar - sort of
2E Bono - good songs, an impossibly self involved, self glorifying prat in other fields
2F Jim Davidson - a grim comedian, of the "old school" (read: painfully unfunny) school of "Mother in Law/racist" comedy

CropleyWasGod
01-04-2010, 01:44 PM
In Row 3, I would have the two posters who canny read or count. :wink:

EH6 Hibby
01-04-2010, 01:46 PM
Katie Price :grr:

Peaches Gelfof :grr:

Professional Wag Dannielle Lloyd :grr:

Peevemor
01-04-2010, 01:49 PM
In Row 3, I would have the two posters who canny read or count. :wink:

... and an empty seat? :rules:

New Corrie
01-04-2010, 01:52 PM
Welcome aboard, I think at this stage I should introduce you to some of the cabin crew. In charge of catering we have Ainslie Harriot, entertainment will be provided by Lenny Henry, Gillian McKeith is in charge of the Lavvies and Smeato will help you with any safety related issues.

Enjoy your flight.

CropleyWasGod
01-04-2010, 01:52 PM
... and an empty seat? :rules:

They will need it for their school books.

New Corrie
01-04-2010, 01:58 PM
I see Perth Hibee is having a look, maybe he could help with getting someone to pilot it for us. Any suggestions PH?

lyonhibs
01-04-2010, 02:26 PM
In Row 3, I would have the two posters who canny read or count. :wink:

Ach bollocks!!!

Take my first 3.

Especially Russel Brand.

Geo_1875
01-04-2010, 02:30 PM
Bush Sr Bush Jr and Bliar

J-C
01-04-2010, 03:20 PM
4a. Grumpy Jim Jeffreys
4b. Liam Gallagher
4c. Ian Huntley

4d. Loius Walsh
4e. Robert Mugabe
4f. Nichlos Cage

heretoday
01-04-2010, 03:27 PM
Welcome aboard, I think at this stage I should introduce you to some of the cabin crew. In charge of catering we have Ainslie Harriot, entertainment will be provided by Lenny Henry, Gillian McKeith is in charge of the Lavvies and Smeato will help you with any safety related issues.

Enjoy your flight.

Ha Ha! And the Loose Women panel will be providing Stewardess services!

marinello59
01-04-2010, 03:32 PM
5A
5B - Chris Moyles, he'll need all three seats.
5C

5D - Gordon Ramsay
5F - Nigella Lawson
5G - Ian Wright

Cocaine&Caviar
01-04-2010, 03:44 PM
Alan Carr and John Rankin.

hibsboy90
01-04-2010, 03:54 PM
6A David Grof
6B David Grof
6C David Grof (http://www.hibs.net/message/showthread.php?t=177686)

:wink::dummytit:

twiceinathens
01-04-2010, 03:57 PM
In the pilot's seat Jeremy Clerkson

stevensons-fan
01-04-2010, 03:59 PM
6A - Miley Cyrus
6B - Ashley Cole
6C - Kristen Bell

Barney McGrew
01-04-2010, 04:31 PM
6D - Maggie Thatcher
6E - David Cameron
6F - George Osborne

:cool2:

H18sry
01-04-2010, 04:47 PM
7A The Queen
7B The Pope
7C Alex Salmond

HUTCHYHIBBY
01-04-2010, 04:54 PM
8A Noel Edmonds 8B & 8C Michelle McManus

Gus
01-04-2010, 05:54 PM
4a. Grumpy Jim Jeffreys
4b. Liam Gallagher
4c. Ian Huntley

4d. Loius Walsh
4e. Robert Mugabe
4f. Nichlos Cage

4.c....ian Huntley? Not a celebrity but should go

9a. Jodie marsh (still would though
9b. Trisha Goddard
9c. Amy winehouse

Speedy
01-04-2010, 06:20 PM
Lee Evans
Al Murray
Arsene Wenger

jabis
01-04-2010, 06:55 PM
hawksby and jacobs.....and the guy that hits the button for the radio adverts.

Hermit Crab
01-04-2010, 09:03 PM
Simon Cowell - 1rst class baw bag :grr:
Claire Sweeney - Big mouthed pain in the erse bitch :grr:
Alan Carr - Funny?? Aye right my pooper. :grr:




If theres any room left then i would put the entire Hollyoaks cast on it! :devil:

Woody1985
01-04-2010, 09:45 PM
Justin Lee Collins
Gok Wan
Heather Mills

thekaratekid
01-04-2010, 09:49 PM
Nick Knowles
Kelvin MacKenzie
Sharon Osborne

Marabou Stork
01-04-2010, 10:24 PM
4.c....ian Huntley? Not a celebrity but should go

9a. Jodie marsh (still would though
9b. Trisha Goddard
9c. Amy winehouse

You monster. What kind of sicko would have a go on the victim of a plane crash.

Hibbyradge
01-04-2010, 10:54 PM
Ant and Dec.

Katie Price.

If they were too feart to get on the palne, I'd replace them with any three footballer's wives/WAGs.

H18SScottW
01-04-2010, 10:54 PM
You monster. What kind of sicko would have a go on the victim of a plane crash.

Marsh and Jordan would've survived with the aid of personal airbags :wink:

:flying:

12A : Davina McCall
12B : Tess Daly
12C : Holly Willoughby

and out of due respect, all their TV 'programmes' will have to be cancelled :bye:

Woody1985
01-04-2010, 11:38 PM
Marsh and Jordan would've survived with the aid of personal airbags :wink:

:flying:

12A : Davina McCall
12B : Tess Daly
12C : Holly Willoughby

and out of due respect, all their TV 'programmes' will have to be cancelled :bye:

She'd be like two bhoys floating around in the sea. Nothing would eat her, well maybe something/one would. :greengrin

Pretty Boy
02-04-2010, 12:22 PM
Richard Littlejohn
Bruce Forsyth
Lee Evans

Speedy
02-04-2010, 03:42 PM
Richard Littlejohn
Bruce Forsyth
Lee Evans



Aye, probably best to book him two seats just to make sure he gets on :greengrin

Sylar
02-04-2010, 03:59 PM
Bono
Sarah-Jessica Parker
Elton John

In the interests of fairness to these A class celebrities, I must request that the airline provide a seperate aircraft to accomodate ALL reality TV stars/trailer trash which appears frequently in Hello, OK etc magazines.

Either that, or request that all flights be replaced by a ferry service, taking a detour via the Arctic Circle to do a sight-seeing trip of the icebergs - much more accomodation space and room for all these deserving people.

BroxburnHibee
02-04-2010, 09:59 PM
I know you said no footballers but surely we could find somewhere in the hold for..........................


Alan Preston
John Cockhoon
Gary Mackay
Paul Mitchell
Sandy Clark
and the BBC producer who finds it hilarious to send 'Fud boy Preston' to every Hibs game.

jabis
02-04-2010, 10:06 PM
hawksby and jacobs.....and the guy that hits the button for the radio adverts.

having had time to think about,I will spare the above,and have george gallawae in the middle seat,and a camera on either side of him(preferably 3D),to capture the Glorious moment of impact :pray:

lyonhibs
02-04-2010, 10:36 PM
Richard Littlejohn - yes please
Bruce Forsyth
Lee Evan - great shout.

This is going to be a full, FULL plane!!!

I would also nominate also gay celebrity that decides to play up this fact by being excruciatingly camp just to practically scream "ooooooohhh I'm gay" in order to advance his/her career.

Germaine Greer - get her in there as well - torn faced, moany boot.

Pete
02-04-2010, 11:09 PM
hawksby and jacobs.....and the guy that hits the button for the radio adverts.


That's out of order...They're the best thing on the radio!!

Window: Gary Lucy (I'm sick of seeing him. Who the **** is he anyway?)

Middle: Myleen Klass (The whole female population is hanging on your every word. After all, no one else has ever given birth and been a mum before. Get lost you patronising tart)

Aisle: Susan Bolyle (She might have a nice voice but the only reason she is famous is because she is a munter. Awful personality, no wonder she has never been laid. She makes me cringe whenever she speaks on the TV....I wish she was English.)

There you go...epitaphs as well

Bayern Bru
02-04-2010, 11:12 PM
Andrew Neil
Nick Griffin
El Hadji Diouf (Griffin would love that)


I'll probably change this but most of the previous posters took my first, second, third etc., choice.

Pete
02-04-2010, 11:18 PM
Andrew Neil
Nick Griffin
El Hadji Diouf (Griffin would love that)


I'll probably change this but most of the previous posters took my first, second, third etc., choice.

Griffin would probably point out the "no footballers" rule and direct you in the direction of the first post....and El Hadji Diouf would probably ask why you can't read??:grr:


:greengrin

Bayern Bru
02-04-2010, 11:23 PM
Griffin would probably point out the "no footballers" rule and direct you in the direction of the first post....and El Hadji Diouf would probably ask why you can't read??:grr:


:greengrin

Oh I read the first post alright.
I just happen to think 'thug' rather than 'footballer' when I think of El-Hadji.
:cool2:

It's fine though. If necessary I've got Owen Wilson in reserve. :greengrin

Pete
02-04-2010, 11:33 PM
Oh I read the first post alright.
I just happen to think 'thug' rather than 'footballer' when I think of El-Hadji.
:cool2:

It's fine though. If necessary I've got Owen Wilson in reserve. :greengrin

I suppose he is more of a thug than a footballer. In fact "racist thug" would be a more appropriate description.

I think Everton...and the footballing community in general are still waiting on an answers. Maybe all the bananas are clouding their view.

I'll take it back, he can turn right and sit in first class.