For all the Athiests and non believer.

[J-C]

I was at my Aunts funeral today, nice little ceremony by a minister at the funeral parlour and then a grave side bit.

My question is......as Athiests or non believers, do you still sing the hymns along with everyone else as a sign of respect, even though you believe the words within these to be a bit wrong due to your non faith, or do you stand, keep quite and show respect that way. Even during the prayer I never bowed my head, or said amen but during that time I tried to remember my happy thoughts of my aunt instead, in a silent remembrence of her.

My sister had a Humanist ceremony which is more orientated towards her and her family's life, I think this is the way I will be going when that time comes.

Discuss.

[Darth Hibbie]

I was at my Aunts funeral today, nice little ceremony by a minister at the funeral parlour and then a grave side bit.

My question is......as Athiests or non believers, do you still sing the hymns along with everyone else as a sign of respect, even though you believe the words within these to be a bit wrong due to your non faith, or do you stand, keep quite and show respect that way. Even during the prayer I never bowed my head, or said amen but during that time I tried to remember my happy thoughts of my aunt instead, in a silent remembrence of her.

My sister had a Humanist ceremony which is more orientated towards her and her family's life, I think this is the way I will be going when that time comes.

Discuss.

Thats exactly what I do. I do not think there is a problem with that.

I have never been to a Humanist ceremony however I know that should something happen to my my family would not have a Christian funeral for me as they know I would not want this.

[SlickShoes]

My Nana had a catholic funeral, i found it really depressing but it was what she believed in so i took part. I like you have said mostly remained silent and tried to remember the good times rather than take part in the hymns and such.

I have been to 2 Humanist funerals and although i was crying throughout them they were much more upbeat, more about the person that has gone rather than anything else, personal stories, own choice of music etc

I also had a Humanist wedding and it was very good!

[Woody1985]

I think I brought up something similar after one of my great uncles funerals. I never sung the songs but did bow my head whilst everyone else got on with their thing.

About a week before I had been at my friends funeral and he had a humanist funeral. The first one I had ever been to and it was great that they spoke all about him and his life rather than how it was what some supernatural/mythical being wanted for him. It was a celebration of him and not God.

Whilst I'll respect others peoples wishes at their funerals I think that the God aspect detracts completely from the whole reason you are there.

[Leicester Fan]

I went to a Hindu funeral once (I'm not a hindu). Obviously when they sang the prayers I just mouthed the words, I made an effort. It was the polite thing to do.

[s.a.m]

I'm a non-believer, and I sing at funerals and any other events that require hymns. I wouldn't choose them for my own funeral, but I'm happy to conform to the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones. I don't pray, but I would tend to bow my head out of respect, and to avoid drawing attention to myself - doesn't seem like the right time or place to look like you're staging an act of rebellion. It's a good time to think your own thoughts, as another poster suggested. IMO.

[GlesgaeHibby]

I think I brought up something similar after one of my great uncles funerals. I never sung the songs but did bow my head whilst everyone else got on with their thing.

About a week before I had been at my friends funeral and he had a humanist funeral. The first one I had ever been to and it was great that they spoke all about him and his life rather than how it was what some supernatural/mythical being wanted for him. It was a celebration of him and not God.

Whilst I'll respect others peoples wishes at their funerals I think that the God aspect detracts completely from the whole reason you are there.

:agree:

Totally agree. I've only been to 3 funerals, 2 of which where humanist. The most recent was religious and I hated it. So impersonal, and more about 'glorifying God for so and so's life rather than about the persons life and memories.

The humanist once, whilst very emotional, were also very nice and comforting. It was personal, it was a chance to relive the good memories and take part in something that you're sure is the way they would have wanted it.

[Steve-O]

I feel like an idiot singing hymns, so I don't.

[Dinkydoo]

I was at my Aunts funeral today, nice little ceremony by a minister at the funeral parlour and then a grave side bit.

My question is......as Athiests or non believers, do you still sing the hymns along with everyone else as a sign of respect, even though you believe the words within these to be a bit wrong due to your non faith, or do you stand, keep quite and show respect that way. Even during the prayer I never bowed my head, or said amen but during that time I tried to remember my happy thoughts of my aunt instead, in a silent remembrence of her.

My sister had a Humanist ceremony which is more orientated towards her and her family's life, I think this is the way I will be going when that time comes.

Discuss.


I sing along out of respect and try to remember the good, happy times I've had with the person. Was at a RC funeral last february for Danny McQueen - a mate of mine that died as a result of dangerous driving on anothers behalf :grr:

Anyone living in the Dumfries area would probably have been aware of it.

He wasn't a RC and neither am I although we have both been baptised and confirmed (meaningless ritual to me and I suppose him) although I still sang along and for one of the only times in my life I truelly hoped (although I don't believe) there was an afterlife for him.

[JennaFletcher]

I was at my Aunts funeral today, nice little ceremony by a minister at the funeral parlour and then a grave side bit.

My question is......as Athiests or non believers, do you still sing the hymns along with everyone else as a sign of respect, even though you believe the words within these to be a bit wrong due to your non faith, or do you stand, keep quite and show respect that way. Even during the prayer I never bowed my head, or said amen but during that time I tried to remember my happy thoughts of my aunt instead, in a silent remembrence of her.

My sister had a Humanist ceremony which is more orientated towards her and her family's life, I think this is the way I will be going when that time comes.

Discuss.

It depends. If the person who died was religious and it was their choice of funeral I'd be happy to sing along and contribute to the ceremony. But this is a personal thing - I'd be doing it for the person and out of respect. I would not be doing it for any questionable higher power.

I would obviously not agree with the lyrics, but a song is just a song.

[Pretty Boy]

I was raised a Catholic but have never attended church for at least 6/7 years and have no intention of doing so anytime soon.

If i have had to go to funerals i generally just stand silently during hymns, prayers and so on and pay my own respects. Not offending anyone as i'm not making a scene or anything but i wouldn't be hypocritical enough to join in prayers and songs that i had no belief in or actively disapproved of.

[hibsdaft]

I was raised a Catholic but have never attended church for at least 6/7 years and have no intention of doing so anytime soon.

If i have had to go to funerals i generally just stand silently during hymns, prayers and so on and pay my own respects. Not offending anyone as i'm not making a scene or anything but i wouldn't be hypocritical enough to join in prayers and songs that i had no belief in or actively disapproved of.

i'm the same.