Fat Jim Knew - the lies so far

[jacomo]

Jumbo Jim's only been back at the comedy club for 10 days, but in that time has already managed to fib to the Yammish faithful impressively often. You can see why he and Vlad might get on.

Here's a quick recap so far - feel free to add to the list...




1. "I was in the changing cubicle of the Hearts shop when I got the call"
Aye, right.


2. "It was my decision to drop Goncalves"
No it wasn't. It was Shabby Laszlo's refusal to obey orders on this matter that finally got him the sack.


3. "Jose told me he didn't want to play for Hearts"
Except that now, you say that Jose told you he didn't want to play for Hearts in the long term - a crucial difference that does not call into doubt his commitment for the rest of the season.


4. "I wasn't interested in signing a striker"
And then it transpires that you were:


5. "The right striker wasn't available"
Yes indeed, none of McLeod, MacLean, Maguire or Gow were suitable, eh?


Fibs so far: 5

[KerPlunk]

"I........eh........didnae ken...........ehhhhhhh........that Shabby had.........ehhhhhhhhhhh........been emptied...........ehhhhhhhhhhhh........honest."

:hide:

[bawheid]

6. Jefferies also said that the situation with Goncalves is different to that of other players who are out of contract in the summer, notably Michael Stewart and Laryea Kingston.

"I have made my mind up on Jose," he said. "I want him to stay with Hearts.

"I have still to decide on other players - if I want them to stay or not."

Aye, ok then.

[jacomo]

Both good spots.

We're up to seven.

[Kato]

Shabby talked more nonsense, but Jim talks more cr@p.

[TRC]

Just seen on SSN Jeffries says "Jose will not play for Hearts again because he won't sign a new contract!" Vlad must have soom thick strings to hold that frame:wink:

[MrSmith]

I feel for the guy! totally losing all self-respect and dignity by sooking Vlads submarine!

JJ's a good guy, pity!

[mjhibby]

I feel for the guy! totally losing all self-respect and dignity by sooking Vlads submarine!

JJ's a good guy, pity!

Wibble wibble.This is as funny as blackadder but this is real life as opposed to a tv comedy(well as close to real life as you can get down gorgie way).Sad to see jj become romanovs lacky when he always seemed a principled guy.Even robbo is now being lambasted by hertz fans for suggesting this is romanov decision to not play congalves(as if it wasnt common knowledge)The jambos are getting more paranoid than sellick fans but are much more amusing.Funny how killie have picked up since jeffries went and are finding goals much easier to come by.Whats the odds killie finish above them in the league.Now wouldnt that be hysterical.:faf:

[jacomo]

Wibble wibble.This is as funny as blackadder but this is real life as opposed to a tv comedy(well as close to real life as you can get down gorgie way).Sad to see jj become romanovs lacky when he always seemed a principled guy.Even robbo is now being lambasted by hertz fans for suggesting this is romanov decision to not play congalves(as if it wasnt common knowledge)The jambos are getting more paranoid than sellick fans but are much more amusing.Funny how killie have picked up since jeffries went and are finding goals much easier to come by.Whats the odds killie finish above them in the league.Now wouldnt that be hysterical.:faf:

You made me check the table!

9 points apart... :hmmm:

[mjhibby]

You made me check the table!

9 points apart... :hmmm:

Fortunately for the jambos the dons look to have a very tough set of ixtures so hertz might scrape sixth unless of course the saintees go on a run(as long as they lose to us in 8 days time that is).

[Phil D. Rolls]

Is Jumbo really a liar, or are we guilty of saying things about him that won't stand up in court?

[machibby]

"I've always felt that Ryan Stevenson was a decent player who could make the step up to the spl"

[KerPlunk]

Some classy :fibber: from FJK re. Goncalves taken from fishy Yams site:-


Pressed by some journalists eager to know why Jose could not be included until the end of the season, Jim was very clear indeed.

"It's my decision. It is my decision. You don't know what went on with my conversations with Jose. It's my decision.

"I will try and resolve and I will try my hardest. But when he tells me [he wants to stay] that will be enough for me, but as the talks stand - and he is a lovely guy who I get on great with - and the way I am talking to him and the way things happened before I came here I don't think he'll stay.

"We've made it clear to him. I've talked to him and I have listened to why he does not want to sign the contract. For me it sounds like someone who does not want to be at the football club.

"He might tell you differently as they wall want to play, but it is convincing me that's important. I will try to convince him to stay but if we can't we'll get on with it."

:jamboak:

[Part/Time Supporter]

Some classy :fibber: from FJK re. Goncalves taken from fishy Yams site:-


Pressed by some journalists eager to know why Jose could not be included until the end of the season, Jim was very clear indeed.

"It's my decision. It is my decision. You don't know what went on with my conversations with Jose. It's my decision.

"I will try and resolve and I will try my hardest. But when he tells me [he wants to stay] that will be enough for me, but as the talks stand - and he is a lovely guy who I get on great with - and the way I am talking to him and the way things happened before I came here I don't think he'll stay.

"We've made it clear to him. I've talked to him and I have listened to why he does not want to sign the contract. For me it sounds like someone who does not want to be at the football club.

"He might tell you differently as they wall want to play, but it is convincing me that's important. I will try to convince him to stay but if we can't we'll get on with it."

:jamboak:

It's like if he says it often enough he will start to believe it.

And you know what - it is his decision.

To take it up the arse from Mr Romanov.

:faf:

[greenlex]

Look you fat slavering Jambo Bassa we all know Jose is one of your better players.
We all know Vlad wants him to sign so he can flog him for cash in the summer rather than walking away.
We all know you tell lies so STFU. :grr:

[jacomo]

Is Jumbo really a liar, or are we guilty of saying things about him that won't stand up in court?

Well hey, if he feels he's being libelled, he knows what to do.

I think there's more chance of Keith Jackson pursuing his case against John Collins, personally.

[degenerated]

Despite the the lack of funds for his predecessor and the club running up a debt of around £30m, Jefferies believes he is taking over at "a great time".

aye right you believe it jim :hilarious

[joe breezy]

Ah well, at least there's another 60s song for Jumbo now :greengrin

YouTube - Sandie Shaw - Puppet On A String (1967) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrs8CgpH980)

[ahibby]

They aren't the first or the last club who don't play a player because he intends to leave. If they have others who will fill the position when Jose leaves then they are just as well to play them now and save on his appearance bonuses.

[DC_Hibs]

They aren't the first or the last club who don't play a player because he intends to leave. If they have others who will fill the position when Jose leaves then they are just as well to play them now and save on his appearance bonuses.


They are the only one that I know of who do this outside of the transfer window when there is virtually no chance of getting rid of him (other than to Russia) and in addition to this they are toiling in the league, out both cups and aren't exactly blessed with ready made replacements for Goncalves. Keep up the good work Vlad........oops sorry it was Slim Jim's decision wasn't it. Assume the postion Jimbo

[hibbymac]

Jabba the Shabba Stabba :angeldevi

[allmodcons]

I feel for the guy! totally losing all self-respect and dignity by sooking Vlads submarine!

JJ's a good guy, pity!


His decision to take up the poisoned chalice.

Knew exactly what he was getting in to.

If he had any self respect or dignity he would not have taken job on in the manner he did.

Good guy or not 'you make your bed you lie in it'

[bobbyhibs1983]

Some classy :fibber: from FJK re. Goncalves taken from fishy Yams site:-




"It's my decision. It is my decision.. It's my decision.




I ll have you all know jj is his own man,Mad vlad told jj that he has 2 options with Goncalves.

option 1, drop him and never play him

option 2 as above
:devil:

[Sergey]

"In the main I was happy at the first half in terms of the shape we had and the work the boys put in.

Copyright - Jim Jeffries, after his team couldn't even muster one solitary effort away to a rank rotten Celtic.

[Woody1985]

6. Jefferies also said that the situation with Goncalves is different to that of other players who are out of contract in the summer, notably Michael Stewart and Laryea Kingston.

"I have made my mind up on Jose," he said. "I want him to stay with Hearts.

"I have still to decide on other players - if I want them to stay or not."

Aye, ok then.

I love the fact that the tosser doesn't see the irony. Who thinks that MS & LK should just stop playing and tell them that Hearts aren't committed to them long term and won't play until they get new contracts. I wonder how long it would take them to stop paying the contracts.

Obviously Kingston has already been doing this for some time. :faf:

[KerPlunk]

FatJimKnew is still ploughing that lone furrow on behalf of Nosferatu Romanov and digging a bigger hole for himself as well.....

"I am trying to understand why he is not signing. The club have made him a tremendous offer and the only loser is Jose, he is the one putting himself out the team."

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11781_5936904,00.html

:cool2:

[Nailrod]

"We've had three away games which were always going to be tough," he said of the matches against St Johnstone, St Mirren and Celtic. (today's Hootsdross)
A professional liar doesn't need to pretend his lies make sense. He just opens his mouth and some half-assed lie comes spilling out before you know where you are.

Don't know what number that takes us up to.

We're going to need a jumbo/jambo/pinocchio smiley if Jumbo lasts beyond the split

[Phil MaGlass]

we will take Gocalves on a free at the end of the season.

[Part/Time Supporter]

A professional liar doesn't need to pretend his lies make sense. He just opens his mouth and some half-assed lie comes spilling out before you know where you are.

Don't know what number that takes us up to.

We're going to need a jumbo/jambo/pinocchio smiley if Jumbo lasts beyond the split

Since when did playing St. Mirren in Motherwell, with 2/3 of the crowd supporting Hearts, count as an away game?

:confused:

[Nailrod]

Since when did playing St. Mirren in Motherwell, with 2/3 of the crowd supporting Hearts, count as an away game?

:confused:Quite. But it would explain why the Jumbos didn't turn up for the game, since their manager apparently thought it was in Paisley... :lolyam:

[TheMentalHibees]

FatJimKnew is still ploughing that lone furrow on behalf of Nosferatu Romanov and digging a bigger hole for himself as well.....

"I am trying to understand why he is not signing. The club have made him a tremendous offer and the only loser is Jose, he is the one putting himself out the team."

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11781_5936904,00.html (http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11781_5936904,00.html)

:cool2:

Incorrect. Any offer that keeps him at Hearts can't possibly be tremendous. I can't see any reason why a player would want to sign for them.

[HibeeB]

Incorrect. Any offer that keeps him at Hearts can't possibly be tremendous. I can't see any reason why a player would want to sign for them.

Has it not occurred to Jumbo that money might not be the main reason Jose wants away?


I work with a Portugese guy who likes his football.

I asked if Jose had any chance of playing for the national team and he said no.

He said Jose had played for the under 21's 3 or 4 times and showed some promise. Then he said, and I quote, "he went to Hearts and that was the end". Jose's only chance of getting recognised for his country is to leave Hearts and go to a proper club.

[Jamesie]

The fact that Vlad has managed to persuade one so close to them, and highly regarded by the Yam faithful, to run his party line is tremendous. :thumbsup:

[borders.cabbage]

The fact that Vlad has managed to persuade one so close to them, and highly regarded by the Yam faithful, to run his party line is tremendous. :thumbsup:
:agree:
A masterstroke by the Russian submariner. Expect Gary MacKay to be announced as the next 'World Class Director of Football' any day now.

[jacomo]

:agree:
A masterstroke by the Russian submariner. Expect Gary MacKay to be announced as the next 'World Class Director of Football' any day now.

The fact that there is a Director of Football - who, according to Laszlo, handles all player transfers - makes Jumbo's "Ah decide who's going or staying, right?" statement even more transparent.

[Nailrod]

BBC Text: Hearts manager Jim Jefferies insists the absence of Christian Nade is down to "footballing reasons" and has nothing to do with the striker's dressing room joust with team-mate Ian Black.

That's an'er yin in... :agree:

[Dashing Bob S]

Nice one Fat:fibber:Jeff. Another classic from the Berlin Wall of transparency.

[Jack]

He was on Radio Froth this morning. Is it just me or did JJ sound a bit drunk? He wash shlurring his wordsh a bit I shought.

[Hainan Hibs]

I still giggle away at "Fat Jim Knew"

Brilliant:faf:

[Hibernian Verse]

That's an'er yin in... :agree:

TBF, that's a perfectly acceptable reason to drop him :greengrin

[bawheid]

Jim Jefferies says Hearts not looking to sell Jose Goncalves after deal (http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/sport/Jim-Jefferies-says-Hearts-not.6071950.jp)

Aye, ok Jim.

[Seveno]

Either fat Jimbo is telling lies ( surely not I hear you say ) or he is a deluded Vlad 'Believer'.

http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/sport/Jim-Jefferies-says-Hearts-not.6071950.jp (http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/sport/Jim-Jefferies-says-Hearts-not.6071950.jp)

[lapsedhibee]

Either fat Jimbo is telling lies ( surely not I hear you say ) or he is a deluded Vlad 'Believer'.



Where's the or both option? :grr: