Dashing Bob S
03-02-2010, 02:03 PM
Dear Mr Romanov,
As a Hibernian supporter I would like to record my heartfelt thanks for your sterling efforts on behalf of our club. By reducing our oldest rivals to complete and utter laughing stock, you have greatly assisted our cause, simply by making us look highly virtuous in comparison.
You came to Tynecastle in a blaze of publicity, with Russian hat-cladded ‘believers’ pouring out of the woodwork. (From everywhere, it must be said, except Dundee and Dunfermline. If a club ran by the Marr brothers and another with the administrative acumen of the Fife outfit managed to see through you, it speaks volumes for visionaries like Gary Mackay, Steve Cardownie and George Foulkes.)
Having sacked a chunky Hearts legend and appointed an upright, sober Scot as manager, you waited until Hearts were top of the League and unbeaten, before sacking him and replacing him with a convicted English paedophille. He didn’t last long, as a Russian with mental health problems, and a hapless ginger fool both came along to enjoy equally brief tenure.
There simply isn’t the time and space to record the glee we felt when we watched the ‘unacceptable level of debt’ taken on after Pieman sailed off into the sunset (not quite off, because you reinstated him as a paid consultant) double from £20m to £40m. We chuckled as promises of £51m new stands, World Cup stars and Champions League victories were quickly forgotten by the ‘believers’ as a paranoid smokescreen was belched out at every opportunity, regarding the SFA, press and ‘Scottish mafia’ conspiracy against Hearts.
We snickered as you sold off half-decent players and brought in unknown Lithuanians (who didn’t mind getting kicked of the playing fields for the woman’s lacrosse team at HWU every afternoon) to the extent you became the feeder team of a club nobody had heard of, and brought in highly committed stars like Larry K, Jose G, and Christian N, who were well worth their huge salaries and would run through a brick wall for the maroon jersey. (Though in Nade’s case only if their was a chip shop at the other side of it.)
It seemed, briefly, that you had fallen from grace by appointing Casa Lazlo. This man had the irritating ability of getting a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. He guided a team of hoofball cloggers who couldn’t score in the proverbial brothel and were part of demoralised club owing money to the inland revenue, Arbroath FC and the den mothers, into 3rd place and Europe! Rather than advocate he that be awarded the Nobel Prize, you wisely saw that this man was big trouble, with his incessant desire to sign a striker who’s goals might have made Hearts Euro contenders again. You quickly nipped that one in the bud, and gave us all a big cheer when you pulled of a master coup by appointing our talisman Jimmy Jefferies. (0-7, 2-6, 1-5.) We appreciate the generous act in letting us sing one of our favourite songs again at the next derby, assuming that this will actually take place.
Because this brings us rather nicely onto Sunday’s repayment debt of £17.6 m. We trust that as chairman of Heart of Midlothian FC and a major shareholder in the bank that holds the debt, we can rely upon you, as ever, to do the right thing.
I personally never bought into this oft-touted concept of Heart of Midlothian as a proud Scottish institution who had somehow sold their soul through chasing their dreams along yellow brick road. I always felt they were a tawdry, pathetic, jumped-up shower of low-life bores with delusions of adequacy, and I’m delighted that they have an owner who shares my vision.
I salute you, sir.
Best Wishes
Bob
As a Hibernian supporter I would like to record my heartfelt thanks for your sterling efforts on behalf of our club. By reducing our oldest rivals to complete and utter laughing stock, you have greatly assisted our cause, simply by making us look highly virtuous in comparison.
You came to Tynecastle in a blaze of publicity, with Russian hat-cladded ‘believers’ pouring out of the woodwork. (From everywhere, it must be said, except Dundee and Dunfermline. If a club ran by the Marr brothers and another with the administrative acumen of the Fife outfit managed to see through you, it speaks volumes for visionaries like Gary Mackay, Steve Cardownie and George Foulkes.)
Having sacked a chunky Hearts legend and appointed an upright, sober Scot as manager, you waited until Hearts were top of the League and unbeaten, before sacking him and replacing him with a convicted English paedophille. He didn’t last long, as a Russian with mental health problems, and a hapless ginger fool both came along to enjoy equally brief tenure.
There simply isn’t the time and space to record the glee we felt when we watched the ‘unacceptable level of debt’ taken on after Pieman sailed off into the sunset (not quite off, because you reinstated him as a paid consultant) double from £20m to £40m. We chuckled as promises of £51m new stands, World Cup stars and Champions League victories were quickly forgotten by the ‘believers’ as a paranoid smokescreen was belched out at every opportunity, regarding the SFA, press and ‘Scottish mafia’ conspiracy against Hearts.
We snickered as you sold off half-decent players and brought in unknown Lithuanians (who didn’t mind getting kicked of the playing fields for the woman’s lacrosse team at HWU every afternoon) to the extent you became the feeder team of a club nobody had heard of, and brought in highly committed stars like Larry K, Jose G, and Christian N, who were well worth their huge salaries and would run through a brick wall for the maroon jersey. (Though in Nade’s case only if their was a chip shop at the other side of it.)
It seemed, briefly, that you had fallen from grace by appointing Casa Lazlo. This man had the irritating ability of getting a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. He guided a team of hoofball cloggers who couldn’t score in the proverbial brothel and were part of demoralised club owing money to the inland revenue, Arbroath FC and the den mothers, into 3rd place and Europe! Rather than advocate he that be awarded the Nobel Prize, you wisely saw that this man was big trouble, with his incessant desire to sign a striker who’s goals might have made Hearts Euro contenders again. You quickly nipped that one in the bud, and gave us all a big cheer when you pulled of a master coup by appointing our talisman Jimmy Jefferies. (0-7, 2-6, 1-5.) We appreciate the generous act in letting us sing one of our favourite songs again at the next derby, assuming that this will actually take place.
Because this brings us rather nicely onto Sunday’s repayment debt of £17.6 m. We trust that as chairman of Heart of Midlothian FC and a major shareholder in the bank that holds the debt, we can rely upon you, as ever, to do the right thing.
I personally never bought into this oft-touted concept of Heart of Midlothian as a proud Scottish institution who had somehow sold their soul through chasing their dreams along yellow brick road. I always felt they were a tawdry, pathetic, jumped-up shower of low-life bores with delusions of adequacy, and I’m delighted that they have an owner who shares my vision.
I salute you, sir.
Best Wishes
Bob