All Hail The Tash.

[Thecat23]

When the tash was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Burger King.

The Tash can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

When the Tash falls in water, the Tash doesn't get wet. Water gets the Tash.

The Tash house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

In honor of the Tash, all McDonald's in Edinburgh have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Tashsized.

The Tash CAN believe it's not butter.

The Tash can divide by zero

A picture is worth a thousand words. The Tash is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tash roundhouse kick.

The Tash invented his own type of karate. It's called Tash-Will-Kill.

While urinating, The Tash is easily capable of welding titanium.

When The Tash talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. The Tash calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Tash to go around.

The Tash doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut The Tash is The Tash.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For The Tash, each testicle is larger than the other one.

The Tash has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, The Tash randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The Tash doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. The Tash throws down!

In the beginning there was nothing...then The Tash Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

The Tash has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

The Tash grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

[Jim44]

......but I wish the self same Tash would do the decent thing and tell us one way or another whether we're wasting our time hanging on here now or whether we can log off and go and get our beauty sleep.:greengrin

[Thecat23]

......but I wish the self same Tash would do the decent thing and tell us one way or another whether we're wasting our time hanging on here now or whether we can log off and go and get our beauty sleep.:greengrin

Tash says that is all :cool2:You may sleep.

[Thecat23]

Well i'm happy with Yogi, the Tash and the bored for bringing in players of Smith, Brown and Gow standard.

Well done guys, lets push on and keep it tight at the top.

[joe_hfc]

The Tash doesn't sleep, he waits.

The Tash's tears can cure cancer.

After saving the day once again from imminent destruction, the mayor of LA dedicates a street to be named after him.nobody crossed this street, because nobody crosses 'The Tash'

[MWHIBBIES]

Once when the tash was lying face down he got an irrection and struck oil.

[Iain G]

There once was a man called the Tash
Who liked to hang on to his cash
He sold all the kids
For a few million quid(s)
And then had a rather large stash

He bought some new shiny wax
And sold some daft Russian a fax
He got Yogi Hughes
And with nothing to loose
He bought Stokes, Smith, Miller and Stack

[Banter]

The Tash only acknowledge's the existance of one element.

The element of Surprise.

[jonty]

:faf: :thumbsup:

[Mikeystewart]

I say i think thats the hardest ive ever laughed in my life reading that took me about an hour to read it due to stopping inbetween for a fit of girlish hysteria.

[Ritchie]

Giraffes were created when THE TASH uppercutted a horse.

THE TASH counted to infinity..... twice.

[Thecat23]

I say i think thats the hardest ive ever laughed in my life reading that took me about an hour to read it due to stopping inbetween for a fit of girlish hysteria.

:thumbsup:

[whereswallace?]

Reading the OP with a broken jaw,not a good combo!! Worth the pain tho... :top marks

[Hibercelona]

The Tash invented air... then sold it to the public.

If you stroke The Tash, he will grant you 4 wishes, not 3.

If you look at The Tash directly, you will turn to silver.

[KWJ]

The Tash's tears can cure cancer.
'

It's a shame he'll never cry.

The Tash wears condoms inside out so that HE gets the pleasure.

[MWHIBBIES]

At night the boogie man has to cheak his wardrobe for the tash.

Alot of people where superman pjamas,superman wheres The tash pjamas

[whereswallace?]

Land mine removal teams wear jumpers knitted using pubic hair from The Tash.

[Banter]

The Tash does not take showers, only blood baths.

The Tash can kill two stones with one bird.

The Tash does not cheat death, but beats it fair and square.

When the Tash enters a room, he does not turn the light on but the darkness off.

http://www.hiberniantv.co.uk/1Rod_Petrie_230.JPG

[sambajustice]

You just ripped off my post from about a month ago!!!

Get it sorted Petrie!! :grr:

[Sean1875]

When the USA went to Iraq to investigate for WMD, saddam made sure The Tash's biceps were out the country.

The Tash took his mums virginity.

[jonny]

Carlsberg dont do message board threads, but if they did.....
Excellent thread, just had a few laugh out loud moments!

[Bayern Bru]

The phrase "balls to the wall" was originally conceived to describe the Tash entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.


Horses are hung like the Tash.

[Glasgow Hibee]

The Tash thinks, therefore we are.

[Hibbyradge]

The Tash can divide 100 by 3...to the last decimal point.

[Sexton]

The Tash doesn't do press-ups, he pushes the world down.

[whereswallace?]

The tash could carry Christian Nade on his own.

[Purehibee_MYB]

The Tash''s computer doesnt have a ctrl button...The Tash is always in control


The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. The Tash, but in pre-production the producers realised no one would watch a 5 second film.
:coolhib:

[.Sean.]

When the tash was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Burger King.

The Tash can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

When the Tash falls in water, the Tash doesn't get wet. Water gets the Tash.

The Tash house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

In honor of the Tash, all McDonald's in Edinburgh have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Tashsized.

The Tash CAN believe it's not butter.

The Tash can divide by zero

A picture is worth a thousand words. The Tash is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tash roundhouse kick.

The Tash invented his own type of karate. It's called Tash-Will-Kill.

While urinating, The Tash is easily capable of welding titanium.

When The Tash talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. The Tash calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Tash to go around.

The Tash doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut The Tash is The Tash.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For The Tash, each testicle is larger than the other one.

The Tash has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, The Tash randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The Tash doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. The Tash throws down!

In the beginning there was nothing...then The Tash Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

The Tash has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

The Tash grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
:faf:

[EasterRoad4Ever]

In the land of the hairless, the Tash is King.

Never in the history of Scottish Football, has so much be owed by so many to one Tash.

[ancient hibee]

Why can't he play right back?Or can he?

[.Sean.]

The Tash doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures that The Tash has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as The Tash.

The Tash is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The Tash's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The Tash can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

The Tash doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

The Tash can slam a revolving door.

The Tash does not get frostbite. The Tash bites frost

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Tashtatorship.

The Tash can sneeze with his eyes open.

A Tash-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless The Tash has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The Tash once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

The Tash once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

TNT was originally developed by The Tash to cure indigestion

The Tash doesn't say "who's your daddy?", because he knows the answer.

The Tash can taste lies.

The Tash can get Blackjack with just one card.






:greengrin

[MWHIBBIES]

The Tash doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures that The Tash has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as The Tash.

The Tash is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The Tash's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The Tash can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

The Tash doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

The Tash can slam a revolving door.

The Tash does not get frostbite. The Tash bites frost

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Tashtatorship.

The Tash can sneeze with his eyes open.

A Tash-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless The Tash has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The Tash once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

The Tash once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

TNT was originally developed by The Tash to cure indigestion

The Tash doesn't say "who's your daddy?", because he knows the answer.

The Tash can taste lies.

The Tash can get Blackjack with just one card.






:greengrin:faf::faf::faf::faf:

[Thecat23]

The Tash once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted The Tash to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The Tash can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago The Tash came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

[Nameless]

In Rod We Trust:cool2:

[FranckSuzy]

The Tash's closing words at the AGM:

"Can we forge against these enemies-The Yams-a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West Edinburgh, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind, if not Jambo's? Will you join in that historic effort?

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shank from this responsibility - I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which I bring to this endeavour will light our country and all who serve it -- and the glow from The Tash's fire can truly light the world.

And so, my fellow Hibees: ask not what The Tash can do for you - ask what you can do for The Tash.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what The Tash will do for you, but what together we can do for the good of The Tash.

Finally, whether you are citizens of Leith or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the team we love to Scottish Cup glory, asking for My blessing and My help, but knowing that here on earth The Tash’s work will truly be my own".

:offski:

[Irish_Steve]

The Tash my father wore??

[Gerard]

It's a shame he'll never cry.

The Tash wears condoms inside out so that HE gets the pleasure.

Only tears of joy for making large profits:wink::greengrin:devil:
G

[DirtyDeeds]

Chuck v The Tash. Armageddon. The End of All Things.

[Ross4356]

The tash can feed the 5000

The doesn't get hard when he's wi a bird....He gets even

The Tash 500yrs after he's deed...

http://www.fordite.com/Images/Fordite.com%20pics/Copy%20of%20gollum.jpg

[NOLA]

The Tash doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures that The Tash has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as The Tash.

The Tash is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The Tash's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The Tash can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

The Tash doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

The Tash can slam a revolving door.

The Tash does not get frostbite. The Tash bites frost

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Tashtatorship.

The Tash can sneeze with his eyes open.

A Tash-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless The Tash has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The Tash once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

The Tash once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

TNT was originally developed by The Tash to cure indigestion

The Tash doesn't say "who's your daddy?", because he knows the answer.

The Tash can taste lies.

The Tash can get Blackjack with just one card.






:greengrin
Brilliant Stuff. All Hail The Tash!

[Petrie's Tache]

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of The Tache's warm-up exercises.


The tache doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut teh tache, is the tache.


The Tache is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


The tache in fact, built Rome in a day.


Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Tachetanium.


The Tache does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.


The Tache is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.


The Tache once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for The Tache. The Tache eats black holes. They taste like chicken.


Simply by pulling on both ends, the Tache can stretch daimonds back in to coal.


The Tache ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.


When The Tache sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. The Tache has not had to pay taxes, ever.

[NOLA]

When the Tash clicks his fingers the world rotates 10 times! :not worth

[Gerard]

The Tash will build the new East Stand without any help and in the course of apprx 6 months.
The Tash also taught Yogi about being a good tactician in football and is currently giving him media training:wink::greengrin
G